


The Last Omega

by deadto27



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A little bit Romeo and Juliet going on, AU, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Baker Bucky Barnes, Bodyguard Steve Rogers, But the snap happened, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, Hurt Bucky Barnes, M/M, Matchmaking, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Matt Murdock in name only, Mentions of suicide attempts/suicidal ideation, Mutual Pining, Nick Fury is a dick, No Mpreg but Mpreg implied, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-con/rape themes, Omega Bucky Barnes, Past Sexual Assault, Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, omega rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 04:04:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 102,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadto27/pseuds/deadto27
Summary: Bucky Barnes is the last eligible omega left in his town after Thanos takes out half of the world’s population. The government puts in place a mating program to find compatible alphas and omegas and bring them together, with the hope of increasing the population. Only Bucky's not interested in being someone's omega. Not until he meets Steve. But Steve's not one of the alphas in the program. He's his bodyguard.-----When Bucky woke that morning, it was with a sense of dread. He jerked awake instead of waking slowly, and immediately tapped his phone to confirm the date, a part of him hoping he’d somehow gone back in time in his sleep. But no, there it was. March tenth. His twenty-third birthday.It wasn’t the fact that it was his birthday that was the problem. His birthday didn’t mean much anymore, having become just another day over the past few years. No, the problem was today was the official day he would start choosing an alpha. An alpha he didn’t want or have any desire for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back at it, hitting all genres. Welcome to my ABO world.
> 
> Written for AO3. Do not repost elsewhere.

When Bucky woke that morning, it was with a sense of dread. He jerked awake instead of waking slowly, and immediately tapped his phone to confirm the date, a part of him hoping he’d somehow gone back in time in his sleep. But no, there it was. March tenth. His twenty-third birthday.

It wasn’t the fact that it was his birthday that was the problem. His birthday didn’t mean much anymore, having become just another day over the past few years. No, the problem was today was the official day he would start choosing an alpha. An alpha he didn’t want or have any desire for.

The fact was, Bucky didn’t want a mate, not really. He could see the appeal of having a partner, sure, but to have to select an alpha who would likely expect him to be submissive and tend to their every whim...it made Bucky feel sick. But it wasn’t up to him.

After Thanos took out half of the world’s population, things had changed. Omegas of breeding age were now expected to, well, breed. Or at least be mated so the possibility was there. The government had put in place a mating program, essentially a matching service, to find compatible alphas and omegas and bring them together, no doubt with the hope of increasing the population.

The fact was, his already small town now had a population cut in half and in five short years, the number of unmated omegas of breeding age had dwindled to one. Just him. It left him in the unenviable position of being the most eligible man in town. Any unmated alpha who desired their own omega seemed to be interested now, where previously the fact that he was a male omega would have put many of them off straight away, and the fact that he didn’t believe in traditional designation roles even more so. But now...it seemed beggars couldn’t be choosers, which meant he had government assigned protection to defend him from unwanted advances, with the caveat that when he reached twenty-three, which was considered the optimal breeding age by most doctors, that he would have three months to find a mate.

And now that day was here. Clint, one of the betas assigned to him from Shield—the government agency in charge of population—had already explained the process. It had already started, in fact. He’d been given written profiles and pictures on any alphas who had applied with an interest in meeting him, that Shield had then deemed worthy enough. It made Bucky feel like a piece of meat to be auctioned off.

He’d been brutal in cutting through them. He felt that he had a strong bullshit meter and he could see the thinly-veiled attempts to seem like a modern alpha, where really he could tell the guy would want him presenting in a second. He’d cut it down to just three to meet. And he had to meet them today. Here, at his home.

He’d been extremely hesitant about the alphas coming to his home, but at the same time, he didn’t think he could face it elsewhere. He needed to feel like he was in his territory to feel safer. Still, the idea of them being in his house filled him with even more dread. But it was the best option he had.

Bucky got dressed slowly, feeling a little like he was leading himself to his own execution. It felt like the world was closing in on him, the grey lifeless clouds hanging in the sky outside rolling in on him, settling over him like a fog.

He tried to focus on the practical things instead. He applied a ton of his scent blocking roll-on, because the last thing he needed was an alpha going crazy at the scent of him, and he tried his best to look as unappealing as possible, pulling on an oversized faded grey sweatshirt and his loosest jeans, giving himself a faint hobo look, leaving his hair down and messy. As he looked in the mirror, he felt sure that none of the alphas today would find him attractive. And that was really his goal. To get rejected by all three. He’d be forced to meet more, but he planned to do the same with all of them for as long as it took until Shield gave up on the idea of him being a viable mate for someone. Then maybe he could just be left alone.

A knock sounded on his reinforced front door as Bucky trundled down his staircase. It was the most ominous sound Bucky had ever heard. He walked over through the living room slowly, checking the peephole to make sure it was Clint.

“Hey man, it’s Clint, happy birthday!” he heard Clint yell through the door.

The thing was, Bucky liked Clint. He was funny and chill and seemed to find this whole thing almost as dumb as Bucky did, but he did his job and didn’t argue against it. His birthday greeting just felt like a kick in the teeth.

Bucky gritted his teeth and opened the door to find Clint standing there with a large blond man. Definitely an alpha, though clearly wearing scent blocker. He also happened to be the most gorgeous man Bucky had ever seen in real life. His gold hair looked so soft, and his perfect clean-shaven jawline and those soft-looking pink lips were the stuff of dreams. Bucky’s heart thudded against his ribcage like it was trying to jump out at the man. If he wasn’t on suppressants, he was certain he’d have an embarrassing situation going on right now. Even so, he still felt like he’d never quite had such an immediate and visceral reaction to anyone before. His fingers twitched like they wanted to reach out and touch the man.

“Um, what...?” Bucky asked, almost remembering how to speak, mouth feeling a little dry, while staring at the man who was casting quick glances at him but never lingering. His eyes were so fucking blue.

“This is Steve Rogers,” Clint introduced them. “He’s your new bodyguard.”

Bucky blinked and managed to tear his eyes away from the muscly blond and how he filled out his plain black suit in all the right ways. “Um, what happened to Drax?”

“He got reassigned,” Clint replied simply. “Uh, can we come in?” he added, and Bucky realised they’d been standing in the doorway the whole time.

“Oh, um, yeah,” Bucky stuttered, moving back and letting them in, before shutting the door securely. He felt a little bit irked. It wasn’t like he’d particularly liked Drax—the guy had been pretty literal and found the weirdest things funny—but it would have been nice to have said goodbye to him and thanked him. He did keep Bucky safe at least.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mister Barnes,” Steve finally spoke.

He had a deep voice that sort of made Bucky’s knees want to quake a little, and he forgot entirely about Drax. “Um, you too,” he said, a little shakily. “You can call me Bucky though, Mister Rogers.”

“Alright then,” Steve nodded once, firmly. “Just Steve for me then.”

Bucky attempted a little smile and nodded, trying not to seem as flustered as he was. Steve was just so goddamn handsome, it was almost hard to look at him.

“Is it okay if Steve just has a look round the house so he’s familiar with the layout?” Clint asked.

“Oh, um, sure,” Bucky agreed, even though that sounded like overkill. He didn’t have a particularly big house, but he supposed it was important security-wise that Steve know his way around.

Steve nodded at him in acknowledgement and headed through the living room to the hallway that led to both the stairs and the kitchen.

Bucky watched, unable to stop himself from taking a glance at Steve’s ass—and what a fantastic ass it was, from what he could see—before pulling himself together, and waited until he was out of earshot. “Um, Clint? He’s an alpha?”

“Yeah,” Clint replied, non-plussed, settling on the couch.

“But he’s not mated?” Bucky continued, a little worriedly. He hadn’t seen a bonding mark on Steve’s neck.

“Nope,” Clint replied, pulling out files from his briefcase.

“Isn’t that a problem?” Bucky had only been assigned mated alphas or betas for his protection detail. Not that he thought the alpha couldn’t resist him, but he was well aware—far too aware—of how mindless alphas could be.

“Steve’s good. I would leave him alone with you while you were in heat, I’m that sure. He’ll protect you,” Clint promised. “Now, the first alpha you picked will be over in ten minutes or so. You got any questions?”

Bucky sighed. They’d already gone through this. “How about I just say no to them all now and be done with it?”

Clint looked sympathetic. “Sorry man, not really an option.” They’d had this talk before. “At least this way you get to pick yourself?” Clint offered with a little shrug. “And anyway, don’t you want to be able to get outside again, live your life normally?”

Bucky sighed. He had a point there. He spent practically all his time inside lately, only ever going out with Shield protection with him, just in case a lonely alpha took a liking to him and couldn’t control themselves. He wished it was overkill, but the fact was, after he’d been practically attacked three times and actually attacked once, he’d barely been able to leave his house anyway. The trauma of those experiences hadn’t really left him. As if his life wasn’t already traumatic enough.

Luckily he’d been able to adapt and do his job from home for the last few months. He worked in a bakery and now did all his baking in his home kitchen, with his friend and boss Natasha picking up his creations to take to sell.

Bucky missed the bakery. He missed the people he worked with and getting to watch people picking his items and then delighting in them. If he was mated, he’d be a lot safer and could go back to work. He wanted that so badly. He just hated being forced to have an alpha to make that happen.

“Do you want a cherry chocolate muffin?” he asked Clint, ignoring his previous question.

Clint’s face brightened. “Oh hell yeah I do.”

Clint had become very fond of his baking in the few times he’d visited Bucky. He even stopped by the bakery sometimes, according to Nat, desperate for more of Bucky’s cakes.

Bucky rolled his eyes fondly at the eagerness and wandered out the living room into the hallway and instantly collided with Steve. Or the wall that was Steve. Bucky felt like he almost bounced off him.

“Damn, sorry,” Bucky apologised, feeling a little flustered.

Steve shook his head and backed up a couple of steps. “My fault. You okay?”

Bucky looked up at him. He was a good four or five inches taller than him and god, this man was gorgeous. He felt his heart stutter a little. “Muffin?” Bucky blurted.

Steve frowned a little. “Umm?”

“I’m getting Clint a muffin,” Bucky explained better. “Do you want one? They’re cherry chocolate flavour. Baked last night so still fresh, came out pretty good I think. I’m a baker. Not just like for fun, but as my job.” Bucky heard himself babbling but was apparently unable to stop.

“Oh,” Steve cut in, face changing to a tiny smile. “No, thank you.”

Bucky felt surprisingly hurt by that. He made really good muffins, why didn’t Steve want one? Maybe he didn’t eat sugar? He certainly looked like he didn’t, with that body. Steve’s suit did nothing to hide his broad shoulders and strong thighs. He looked every inch the typical alpha.

“Uh, okay. I’ll just...” Bucky pointed towards the kitchen.

“There are two locked doors upstairs,” Steve spoke before Bucky could move.

Bucky forgot to tell him about them. He took a breath, looking at Steve’s shoulder instead of his face. “Yeah. They’re secure, don’t worry. They’re always locked.”

He glanced up to see Steve with a little frown, but then he nodded and moved to the side, letting Bucky squeeze by him. Bucky could swear he could feel how warm Steve was as he passed by him, carefully avoiding touching him.

He took a second when he reached the kitchen to steady himself. Why was he bumbling around Steve? He was just another alpha. The difference was, so far, he wasn’t acting like one, and it was totally throwing Bucky.

Bucky shook his head to try to clear his thoughts and grabbed a muffin for Clint, putting it on a small plate for him.

When he returned to the living room, Clint went wide-eyed as Bucky passed it over, and then started moaning as he bit into it.

“Seriously amazing,” he mumbled to Bucky, mouth full, getting crumbs down himself.

“Thanks,” Bucky replied with a genuine smile. He loved when people really liked his food. One thing the snap didn’t change was people’s need for food, and comfort food in particular, Bucky thought.

“Gonna give them to the alphas?”

Bucky smarted. “Yeah, no, I don’t think so,” he replied, chancing a look at Steve.

Steve was standing by the front door now, silent, with his hands clasped behind his back, looking impressive—a huge hulk of a man. Bucky could see why he’d been picked for this job. He couldn’t imagine another alpha picking a fight with him.

“I’d mate you for this,” Clint exclaimed, finishing the muffin off impressively quickly.

“Well then you see why I’m not giving them out,” Bucky replied with a little glower, and noticed Steve looking curiously at him. He wondered what that look was for as he quickly moved his gaze back to Clint. “So what am I supposed to do then? I mean, what’s the process?” he asked. He wasn’t sure what the exact plan was.

“Ever done speed dating?” Clint asked.

Bucky shook his head. That would involve dating. The fact was, Bucky had never been on a proper date. He’d never had sex. No one in his life knew that though—he didn’t go around advertising that fact. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he’d never met someone he wanted to do that with. He’d battled through heats alone the first few times before starting suppressants, because even though he knew it would probably be better to find someone to take care of him during those times, he could never bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to be with someone because of biology. He wanted to want someone for them. Thank god for suppressants, because he hadn’t had to endure a full heat in over four years now.

He glanced at Steve again as he tuned back in, realising Clint was explaining speed dating to him and he quickly nodded along, getting the gist of it. “Are you gonna be in the room?” he asked, with yet another little glance at silent Steve.

Clint nodded. “I’ll sit over there though,” he said, pointing at Bucky’s dining table over in the corner of the room. “I won’t be listening in, but Steve will stay right there just in case they turn out to be assholes.”

Bucky felt a little better hearing that. He honestly didn’t know what to expect from this and he didn’t want to do it alone. “Okay,” he murmured to Clint, still feeling a little worried as he sat down on his battered brown leather couch just as the doorbell rang.

Bucky’s head snapped up at the sound. “They’re early,” he protested to Clint, feeling panicked again.

Clint stood, gathering his files. “Okay, this should be Victor,” he said, looking at his papers. “You ready?” He put a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder, his beta scent sending waves of calm towards Bucky.

Bucky let out a breath, feeling himself relax minutely. “No,” he said simply but without feeling. This was happening whether he was ready or not.

Clint just chuckled. “Okay, Steve, let him in.”

Steve did as asked and opened the door to reveal a somewhat attractive guy. He looked just like his picture, Bucky thought, with dark, almost black hair, and sharp green eyes. He wasn’t breathtakingly gorgeous, but he wasn’t hideous either.

Bucky didn’t bother to get up, not wanting to make a good impression anyway, as Steve let him in.

Clint gave him a chastising look that Bucky ignored, and then introduced himself to Victor, explaining they’d have fifteen minutes or so to chat and that was that. Then Clint led him over to where Bucky was sitting.

Bucky blinked up at him.

“Hi,” Victor said with a little smile. “I’m Victor.”

He didn’t put his hand out for Bucky to shake. Bucky liked that. “Bucky,” he replied evenly.

“Well,” Clint said, looking between the two of them, “why don’t you sit and get to know each other?” he suggested, before moving over to the dining table.

Victor sat down in the armchair opposite the couch. Bucky liked that too—that he didn’t try to sit next to him on the couch.

“So,” Victor started, with another little smile at Bucky, looking a bit awkward, but nowhere near as awkward as Bucky was feeling. “I guess you already know some stuff about me?” he questioned, giving Bucky a little hopeful look.

Bucky nodded, clasping his hands together in front of him. “Yeah, you work in computing?” Bucky asked, remembering from his file. He had to seem like he was trying, as Clint was sure to report back to Shield if he just sat there and ignored the alphas, so he did his best to seem interested.

Victor seemed encouraged by that. “Yeah,” he replied, his eyes looking happy. “I do backend development.”

“I, um, don’t really know what that is,” Bucky admitted.

Victor let out a little chuckle. “It’s pretty boring,” he said, waving his hand. “I don’t want to waste our time explaining it. What do you do?”

Bucky thought he actually sounded interested. “I work for a bakery, making cakes and pastries and things,” he explained.

“Oh,” Victor said politely. “That sounds fun.” He gave Bucky a sheepish look. “I don’t actually eat sugar.”

“Oh,” Bucky replied, a little disappointed. He liked talking about baking, but it obviously didn’t really interest Victor.

“What other things do you like to do?” Victor asked.

“I read a lot,” Bucky said, trying to think about how he spent his time.

“I never read. Spend too long all day looking at code, ya know?”

The conversation continued like that for the next ten minutes. They didn’t seem to have a single thing in common. Bucky liked lots of types of music; Victor only listened to techno. Bucky liked animals; Victor was allergic to most fluffy creatures. Bucky liked summer best; Victor preferred winter.

When Clint shook Victor’s hand and Steve showed him the door, Bucky felt it was pretty obvious that there was nothing there on either side.

“Well…” Clint said with a little shrug. “On to the next one then.”

Bucky sighed and rested his face in his hands. “What if they’re all like that?” Then he reminded himself, this was what he wanted—for none of them to want him.

“Hey, so you didn’t have stuff in common, but at least he was nice, right? Not some big, dumb, knothead alpha like you were worried about?”

Bucky felt his face redden and he glanced at Steve, hoping he wasn’t insulted, but he wasn’t looking at Bucky, just standing silently still, looking out Bucky’s window.

Bucky desperately wished that was true of the next guy. Bucky had thought he’d picked wisely, but clearly he hadn’t. Brock got into his space immediately, sitting close next to him, Bucky shuffling away as far as possible without being obvious, as a pungent alpha smell rolled over him, and not a nice one.

“Why are you wearing scent blocker?” Brock complained, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t you know that’s the best way to know if we’re compatible?”

“I, um, I think I’d like to talk and see if we have anything in common to find out if we’re compatible,” Bucky tried to explain, feeling hugely uncomfortable.

Brock grinned. Actually, it was more of a leer. “We ain’t gonna be spending a lot of time talking,” he murmured quietly, too quietly for Clint or Steve to hear, and then he leant in closer, trying to scent him.

Bucky jolted backwards in shock and in a second Steve was there, hauling Brock off the couch and before Bucky even knew it, Brock was gone, thrown out by Steve.

“Shit, you okay, Bucky?” Clint asked, and Bucky realised he’d been panicking and had shut down for a few minutes.

He never used to do that, but after his last encounter with an alpha, Bucky had felt himself shut down to cope with things that scared him, like another alpha getting too close.

He blinked and tried to breathe slower, feeling Clint trying to help calm him. He nodded shakily at Clint. “I’m okay.” He looked up at Steve who was standing a few feet away, looking concerned at him. “Thank you,” he told him genuinely, meeting his eyes—the look Steve was giving him making him feel warm and a little safer.

Steve nodded, but didn’t say anything. His eyes were so kind though, Bucky thought.

“You okay to meet the next one?” Clint asked, pulling his attention back.

Bucky took a breath. “Not really my choice, is it.”

Clint sighed and looked regretful. “We can leave the last one, but we’ll just have to do it again another time,” he admitted.

“Better get it over with then.” God, he hated this.

“Good man,” Clint reassured him, squeezing his shoulder again.

“I’ll make sure they sit opposite this time,” Steve spoke up.

Bucky managed to give him a thankful look. “Okay,” he said softly.

Bucky took a minute to go to the bathroom down the hall and splash some water on his face before the last alpha arrived. He grabbed a glass of water in his kitchen before returning to Clint and Steve where they waited for the next guy to show up.

He sat and tried to stay calm, praying this guy wouldn’t be a total douche and then another ominous knock sounded on his door and Clint went over again to open it.

Reed wasn’t awful per say. But Bucky just didn’t feel anything. He was nice-looking and they had some things in common, but the best Bucky could think was _maybe_ by the time he left. But even if he was a maybe, Bucky didn’t want it.

“Well, we can keep him in mind?” Clint offered. “You still have time to meet some more.”

Bucky sighed. “And when do I have to do that,” he asked, slumping on his couch.

“I can send you over some of the ones you rejected, and you can pick a few more? We can bring them over in a few days?”

_Great_ , Bucky thought. _Can’t wait_. “Fine.”

Clint let out a somewhat exasperated breath. “Look, I know you hate this, but it is what it is.”

Bucky sighed and glanced at him. “I know,” he bit out. Then he softened. This really wasn’t Clint’s fault. And Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He could see where things might go, might end up eventually. At the moment, it was still mostly his choice. In time, Bucky could see that choice taken away entirely.

He stood up from the couch. He didn’t want to think about that. “You want a muffin to go?” he offered.

Clint’s eyes lit up and he grinned. “Yeah I do!”

Bucky glanced over at Steve, still in his place by the door, apparently observing them, but not contributing. “Steve?” he offered, even though he’d had the offer rejected before.

“Oh, n…” Steve started to say no, but then to Bucky’s surprise, he stopped himself. “Um, yes, actually, that would be very nice, thank you.”

Bucky smiled at him a little, happy he’d accepted the offer. Stupidly happy in fact. He tried to tamper down the emotion. “Coming right up.”

He turned away, heading to his kitchen, unable to stop himself feeling weirdly upbeat all of a sudden, and then boxed up three muffins each for both of them because he couldn’t help himself.

He tied the red ribbon bearing the bakery’s name—the ever so spot on _Natasha’s Bakery_ —round the cardboard bakery boxes, taking special care to make them perfect, before heading back to the living room to present them.

Clint grinned and thanked him, before requesting to use Bucky’s bathroom before he left, placing them and his briefcase down for a moment before leaving the room.

It took Bucky a moment to realise he and Steve were alone. Bucky hadn’t been alone with an alpha since he’d been attacked by one, but he realised he didn’t feel scared of Steve. Nervous maybe, but not scared.

He moved across, approaching Steve with the box held out in his hands. “Here you go,” he offered, with a tentative smile.

Steve took it, looking down at the box, before back up at Bucky. “Thank you.” Then he smiled. Just a touch, just a little lift of the corner of his mouth, but somehow that moment took all the air out of the room.

Bucky felt his pulse racing. “I, um, you’re welcome,” he murmured, biting on his lip a little and looking away to steady himself. He was suddenly feeling very off balance. “Thank you for helping today,” he added, because Steve had really helped with that Brock guy.

Steve’s face had already returned to normal when Bucky looked back. “Just doing my job.” He reached into his jacket pocket. “Here’s my number, by the way. I’m working the same hours your previous bodyguard did, but as before, you can contact me out of those hours if you need anything.”

Bucky nodded, taking the card carefully. It was pretty ridiculous that he could literally call the alpha just to take him shopping, but he supposed that was Steve’s job. He was basically a glorified babysitter.

“Okay, let’s get outta Bucky’s hair,” Clint said as he returned, and Bucky tore his eyes away from the man in front of him, Steve already going for the door, box of muffins held in one hand by the ribbon.

“It was nice to meet you, Bucky,” he said politely as he left.

“Yeah, you too,” Bucky managed.

“See you in a couple of days,” Clint waved.

Bucky nodded, waiting until they were down the steps onto the street, before closing his door and locking it straight away, wondering why his heart was still pounding a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked the first chapter. I'm aiming for weekly updates and I would guess this will end up being a medium-long fic. Let me know what you think so far in the comments? Comments are like little energy bites that makes me write faster 😍


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's perspective on meeting Bucky.

Steve shut the door to his apartment and collapsed back against the hard wood, finally able to let go and loosen his control of himself. Good god, it had been one of the most trying days of his life.

He took a deep breath in, letting the air fill his lungs. It felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe properly all day. Or at least for an hour of it. One of the hardest hours of his life.

 _Bucky_.

God, that name danced in his head, refusing to leave his thoughts all day, even after he and Clint got back to the Shield offices. Steve just hadn’t expected, hadn’t been prepared whatsoever for meeting him.

 _Bucky_. The name sounded like a revelation in his head. Steve could picture him as though he was there with him right now. Bucky with his lithe body, almost willowy, his dark hair like pure chocolate and icy blue eyes that made Steve’s heart freeze in shock when he looked at him. The man had been wearing scent blocker, but it wasn’t quite enough—there was a hint of his sweetness there, like hot melting sugar, that sent Steve’s brain reeling. Steve couldn’t imagine, couldn’t even fathom what Bucky would smell like without the blocker. He’d probably send Steve into rut the second his true scent hit him.

And to think, Clint had handpicked him because he knew and trusted Steve to have self-control. Knew he wouldn’t take one look at the omega and start scenting him. And it was true. Steve usually would have no problem with that, but he’d never felt overwhelmed the way he had when Bucky opened his door. He’d scrunched his hands up into tight fists just to stop himself reaching out as he stood there, using every bit of power he had to keep himself still.

It was so clear to him that Bucky had no concept of how stunning he was. He covered himself up in baggy clothes, but that did nothing to lessen his beauty. When he bumped into Steve in the hallway, Steve had to scream at himself to not do anything. Bucky got so shy and flustered and all Steve could think about was wanting to reach out and stroke his hair and then lean in and smell his neck.

It only got worse from there. He had to watch as Bucky met those alphas—ones that it had become clear that Bucky had no interest in meeting—and he had to act as though everything was fine, when all he could think about was _why couldn’t it be me?_

Steve shook his head, trying to clear it. There was no point going down that road. He glanced at the box in his hand—the muffin from Bucky, that he’d resisted for the rest of his day at work—and finally moved from his door into his kitchen, setting the cream-coloured box on the counter as he shrugged off his suit jacket.

He stared at the box for a moment. He’d been so weak. He’d screamed at himself to keep his distance and just say no, like the muffins were some kind of drug, but the thought of Bucky giving him something he’d made…Steve broke at the last moment. He wanted it. He wanted badly to have this, to taste something the gorgeous omega had made. To maybe pretend he’d made it just for him. His stupid hindbrain loved that idea.

Steve let out a noise of frustration at himself as he slid heavily onto one of his wooden bar stools. He stared at the box for another moment, before reaching out and plucking at the perfectly tied red ribbon until it undid, allowing him to fold back the lid to find Bucky had given him not one, but three perfect chocolate muffins with a cherry on the top of each of them.

They looked like little works of art to Steve. They smelled even better. He picked one up carefully, before putting his nose close to it to smell the rich chocolate. You never got a smell like that unless it was fresh. He carefully folded down the red muffin case and then took a big bite and almost sobbed.

Clint was right. They were heavenly. The chocolate was rich but not sickly due to the incredible sharp cherry sauce running in little rivulets through the muffin, along with tiny real cherry pieces. Steve devoured the first one before he even realised, and then couldn’t resist a second.

In the back of his mind, he dimly registered that he was acting a little crazy over a cherry chocolate muffin, but the back of his mind had nothing over the front, which was yelling at him about how incredible they were, and how the omega who made them was perfect and how the little smile Bucky had given him when he took the muffins could probably power his dreams and fantasies for weeks.

When he’d inhaled the first two muffins, he managed to control himself and carefully closed up the box with the third. He could keep that one until later. He should be savouring it. Maybe he should just have a tiny bit at a time to make it last.

Steve blanched at his thoughts. God, he needed to pull himself together.

He headed for his room, pulling at his tie as he went, eventually shedding his uncomfortable suit and hanging it up, before heading down the hallway and getting into the shower, letting the water run a little cold to help him calm down, refusing to give in and let his hands wander.

 _It’s just a crush_ , he told himself. No, not even that. Just an attractive omega that took him by surprise. He was just surprised is all. He’d go back for the next round of alphas and he’d be fine. Bucky was attractive and seemed sweet, but it didn’t mean anything. He’d keep his self-control just like he usually did, and he’d watch while Bucky found a mate and then he’d go back to doing his regular job full time.

It wouldn’t bother him. He wouldn’t let it. He’s just wanting what he couldn’t have. It was a normal reaction. Even more normal for an alpha. This was nothing to lose his mind over. It wouldn’t get worse.

****

It got so much worse. Bucky let him and Clint into his house again, three days later, for another round of dates.

Bucky looked almost like a homeless person with the baggy sweater with a stain on the front and the ripped jeans he had on, but all Steve could seem to focus on was the way a tendril of hair was curling across his forehead, not kept back in the bun like the rest of his hair. His hand was itching to reach out and push it back as he planted himself by the door, hands gripped tightly together behind his back.

Bucky seemed unaware once again of the effect he had. He just offered them both a drink, which Steve declined, and then sat on the couch waiting for the next alpha to show up.

As Steve watched him talking to them, he did everything in his power to stay focused and calm. He could see clearly now, just how much Bucky didn’t want this. He was being forced to go along with it and Steve could tell his heart wasn’t in it. He seemed to be doing his best to make a bad impression, except he wasn’t quite pulling it off, because even trying to be unappealing, Bucky shone bright, and Steve couldn’t imagine any of the alphas not falling for him instantly.

When the final alpha left, Steve listened closely as Clint asked Bucky what he thought of the four he’d met this time. He ignored the sick feeling in his stomach as he did.

Bucky just shrugged and flopped back against his couch cushions.

“You don’t like any of them?” Clint asked, a little frustration in his tone. “C’mon, there must be one?”

Bucky glanced over at Steve and Steve did his very best to act like he wasn’t listening as he stood there. “I don’t know,” Bucky sighed deeply, looking back at Clint. “Maybe Matt.”

Clint looked cheered. “Matt?” he grinned, shuffling through his papers. “Okay. Matt. We can setup a second meeting for you with him then?” he questioned.

Bucky waved his hand. Steve thought he looked exhausted. “Sure,” he said sullenly.

“Well, I’ll see if he’s in and arrange that,” Clint continued. “Maybe something a little less formal?” he suggested. “You could take a walk to the park? Grab coffee?”

Bucky sighed again. “Clint, just do whatever, I don’t care.”

Steve frowned to himself. Bucky sounded so done, like he’d just given up. He hated hearing the omega sound like that. He found himself speaking before he even really realised. “Um, Bucky, I meant to thank you for the muffins. They were amazing, it was very kind of you.”

Bucky’s face brightened infinitesimally.

It was enough for Steve. He felt something tug at his heart at the slight warming of Bucky’s icy eyes.

“Thank you. I’m glad you liked them,” Bucky replied, fixing his eyes on Steve’s, while Steve perked up at the idea that he’d made the omega happy—at least a little bit—dumb pride running through him.

“They were delicious,” Clint agreed, seemingly pleased that Bucky had perked up a little. “Got anything else around…?” he mused.

“Um, I made cheesecake? Would you like a piece?” Bucky offered, glancing between Steve and Clint, just as Clint’s phone buzzed.

Clint sighed as he checked it. “Ugh, I’m being called in, I’ve gotta go.” He stood, gathering his files, shoving them into his briefcase. “Rain check on the cheesecake?” He looked massively disappointed.

Steve felt the same way as he readied himself to go.

“Oh, no, you stay, Steve,” Clint told him when he saw him moving. “It’s almost the end of your day anyway, no point heading back in with me, you’re right nearby anyway.”

Steve hesitated. He did live only fifteen minutes walk from Bucky’s place, but he didn’t want to outstay his welcome and he especially didn’t want to be left alone with Bucky, except part of him was screaming that _yes, yes he did_.

“Yeah, stay,” Bucky piped up, before Steve could speak. “I need a taster, I was trying something new.”

Clint was giving him big eyes when he looked over, as if to say he wanted him to stay, because it was helping Bucky out of his mood. Steve knew Clint cared about Bucky, having gotten to know him a little through this process, and he felt himself relent.

“Um, sure,” Steve finally agreed. _This is a bad idea_ , a voice in his head screamed. Significant other parts of him screamed back that it was the best idea anyone had ever had.

“Okay, so I’ll set that up,” Clint told Bucky. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve,” he added, and with a wave he was off out the door.

The sound of it thudding closed felt like a warning to Steve. He took a breath. This was fine. He’d just keep his distance and eat cake and leave.

“Want to come to the kitchen?” Bucky asked, and Steve looked back over to him.

Christ, those big eyes were staring at him expectantly. _Bad, bad, bad_ , his head started yelling again. He nodded.

Bucky got up and turned towards the hallway and Steve followed as if Bucky was a magnet pulling him along, which Steve actually thought he might be. Bucky was magnetic.

“It’s nothing special,” Bucky said as they entered the kitchen. “Just a new recipe idea for me.”

Steve could tell this was the most loved room in the house. It felt so homey and warm, the sweet smell of baking lingering everywhere. Steve loved the whole of Bucky’s house in fact. It was so cosy and inviting and so unlike his own place. He wasn’t so good at decorating and his place was pretty sparse and plain. Bucky’s place felt lived in and loved.

Bucky opened the fridge and pulled out what had to be the most beautiful cake Steve had ever seen. It was a vibrant purpled-blue colour, with what looked like real flowers over the top, arranged beautifully.

“It’s blueberry and lemon,” Bucky explained. “That’s where the colour comes from. And the flowers are edible.” He reached out for a knife.

“I can’t eat this,” Steve uttered, shaking his head as he stared at it.

Bucky paused, knife in hand. “Are you allergic?” he asked with a frown.

“No, no,” Steve shook his head again. “It’s just so perfect. Surely it’s for a special occasion?”

Bucky’s face changed to a look of amusement. “I have to try things out before I make them for the bakery.” He slid the knife through like he wasn’t just destroying a work of art, while Steve watched, a little horrified.

“Here you go.” Bucky balanced a slice onto the side of the knife, gently stabilised with his finger, before placing it on a small plate for Steve and nudging it towards him a little. Then he licked a little stray cheesecake from his finger and Steve tried desperately not to growl.

Instead, he tore his eyes away and grabbed the small fork Bucky had pushed into the cake and shovelled cake into his mouth to stop himself.

He could feel Bucky watching him curiously. “Is it good?”

So many flavours burst on Steve’s tongue. Somehow they came together into the most incredible taste. He really couldn’t imagine anything tasting better than this.

 _Oh, maybe one thing_ , an evil voice in his head whispered, and Steve almost choked.

“It’s amazing,” he told Bucky when he’d swallowed, meeting those big eyes that looked slightly nervous with anticipation.

“Yeah?” Bucky looked positively glowing at the praise. “Do you think both flavours come through okay?” he asked, as he cut a tiny sliver off the cake and popped it into his mouth, licking his fingers again.

Steve tried hard to keep breathing. “It’s perfect. You’re very talented,” he affirmed, taking another bite of heaven, the sharp flavour and creamy cheesecake making him want to moan out loud.

“I…thank you,” Bucky stuttered a little, surprise on his perfect face. “I, um, I don’t know many alphas who would put a value on baking like that.”

Steve frowned a little at him. “Do you know many alphas?” He couldn’t imagine anyone thinking Bucky’s cakes weren’t worthy of the highest praise.

Bucky’s face went a little red. “Um, no. Sorry, I didn’t mean…” he trailed off.

Steve suddenly had the feeling that Bucky hadn’t had good experiences with any alphas. In fact, it was pretty clear that was the case, what with how he was around his potential dates, and Clint had told him he’d had some alphas come onto him a little too aggressively in the past. “Well, you, um, you know me?” Steve offered, trying to lessen Bucky’s discomfort. “And I think you’re amazing.” _Backtrack, backtrack!_ his brain screamed. “I mean your food, is amazing,” he stumbled, hoping Bucky didn’t really notice his slip.

Bucky gave him a little smile and murmured a _thank you_ , eyes looking genuinely happy, and Steve shoved the last bit of cake into his mouth. He needed to get out of there. He couldn’t have Bucky looking at him like that.

Bucky took his plate as he finished and looked a little shy as he turned to place it in the sink, rolling up his sleeves. “Would you like a piece to take home?” he offered, turning his head, while turning the tap on, before letting out a squeal as the water ricocheted off something in the sink and splashed onto him.

Bucky shut the water off and shook himself off with a laugh. “Oops,” he chuckled.

Steve had never heard him laugh before. It was the most fascinating, glorious sound. He stared at the wet omega, Bucky’s sweater damp in patches, luckily too baggy for it to cling to his body, and he wanted to run to Bucky’s bathroom to find a warm towel to wrap him in. He wanted to help peel the sweater off him.

Bucky grabbed a hand towel himself and started patting and rubbing himself dry. “Um, so a piece for the road?” he offered again, but Steve couldn’t really hear him anymore.

Bucky must have rubbed the towel over where he’d applied scent blocker on his wrists, because Steve was suddenly hit with the scent of him—pure, melted, hot sugar, mixed with a hint of vanilla, and smelling like a summer’s day when it rained. He wanted to get closer, wanted to nuzzle against him, press his face into that creamy neck and inhale, wanted to lick along his skin, wanted to press Bucky against the counter and…

Steve took a step back. Held his breath. Shook his head. “I better get going,” he managed, getting another hit. And fuck, he could tell it wasn’t a lot—Bucky himself hadn’t even noticed—but it was somehow seeping into his every pore until he felt like his whole body was infected with it. Surrounded by it. He clenched his jaw, trying desperately not to show how affected he was.

“Oh, okay,” Bucky replied, apparently unaware of what he’d done to Steve. “Please take a piece though?” he pushed. “I don’t want it to go to waste and if I eat it all, I’m gonna be the size of a house eventually.” He let out a little chuckle.

Steve’s stupid hindbrain imagined Bucky full of pups when he said that. _My pups_ , his head said, and damn if that wasn’t like having cold water thrown on him. He agreed quickly to another piece of cake because it seemed like the easier option to get him out of there.

Bucky started placing a large piece into a box for him, and he managed to calm himself down. _Bucky isn’t yours_ , he reminded himself. _Never will be, never can be_.

“Thank you,” he managed, with a tiny smile as Bucky passed him the cake box, tied with a perfect red ribbon again. Steve was careful not to touch Bucky’s hands as he took it. He bet his skin was soft though. It looked so soft.

“No problem. Here, I’ll walk you out,” he offered, and Steve let himself be led back to the living room, that goddamn scent wafting over him.

They paused at the front door.

“So, um, if Matt says yes, will you be there?” Bucky asked, hitting Steve with the full force of those big eyes again, looking soft and sweet and maybe even a little scared.

 _What sort of idiot would say no to Bucky_ , Steve thought, as he nodded. “Just to make sure you’re protected.” He wanted to protect Bucky from everything. Wanted to wrap him up, build him a nest, keep him safe and warm and happy forever.

Steve pushed the thoughts down again.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you soon then,” Bucky replied, hitting Steve with one of his tentative smiles that made Steve’s insides twist.

“Have a good evening,” Steve managed with a nod. Then he opened the door and let himself out, giving Bucky another nod as he closed the door, before he stumbled home, the scent of sugar in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys gave me over 100 kudos for a first chapter 😍 I'm honestly floored. Thank you so much. And the comments! Commenters, I love you all so much, you said some incredible things and I appreciate it so so much, I can't even tell you. So early chapter just cause you're awesome. I hope you liked it x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Matt go on a date. Steve goes with them.

Matt agreed. He liked Bucky, apparently. Bucky couldn’t fathom why, but after only meeting seven alphas, he was already sick of it. Maybe he was better off just agreeing to date Matt. He didn’t have to be mated to him. Worst case scenario, eventually Matt might want that, but Bucky could hold off on that for as long as possible, he figured, and then break it off.

Even thinking that made Bucky feel shitty though. He didn’t want to use anyone that way. And Matt wasn’t so bad. He’d been perfectly fine to talk to and was even a bit cute, if Bucky was honest with himself. The thing was, Bucky realised as Steve met him at his house, was that he was far more excited to see Steve again than he was about meeting Matt in the park.

He didn’t know what it was about Steve, but there was something there that Bucky couldn’t put his finger on. It wasn’t just how attractive he was. There were lots of attractive people, though Steve really was the best-looking man he’d ever seen.

No, it was something else. Something about the way Steve was so calm and softly spoken and the way he made Bucky feel like he saw him as a person and not a slick hole, ready for breeding. He could feel his heart beating faster again as he opened his front door and met those blue eyes. Steve didn’t really smile at him today. He just greeted him politely and professionally and escorted him down the front steps.

Bucky took a deep breath of the fresh air. He hadn’t been outside properly in over a week this time, Nat having done a grocery run for him as she was going anyway. It made him feel equally nervous and happy. He liked being outside, but he couldn’t help glancing around as he and Steve started walking down the quiet street.

“Are you okay?” Steve spoke up.

Bucky nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets, not wanting Steve to worry. “So, this must be a weird assignment for you, huh? Escorting people on dates?”

“It’s not what I thought I’d be doing,” Steve replied with a wry smile, after hesitating for a minute.

“Yeah, me either,” Bucky replied, a little bitterly. He couldn’t help it.

Steve turned his head towards him a little, but Bucky avoided his gaze, feeling Steve’s eyes on him.

“You don’t want to meet someone?” Steve questioned, sounding genuinely interested.

“Not like this,” Bucky muttered, unable to keep the miserable look from his face.

Steve didn’t reply again for a few moments. “I’m sorry.” He sounded like he genuinely was.

“Is what it is.” The words rolled off Bucky’s tongue. He’d said them many times before. “World changed, things changed.”

Steve was looking a little sadly at him when Bucky looked over at him again. “Did you, um, did you lose many people?” Steve asked tentatively, eyes wary.

Bucky felt his heart break a little at the question. “You could say that.” He lost _everyone_. That wasn’t an exaggeration. The snap was supposedly random, but Bucky knew he’d lost more than most. Mother, father, sister, best friend, cousin, aunt, other close friends…all gone. Every single one.

The first two years, Bucky barely held on. He had just turned eighteen and was deemed old enough that there was little support available for him, the suddenly dwindled resources only able to cope with young children, and he got close to suicide more times than he could count. Got really close twice, ending up spending some time in hospital. He met Natasha there on the same ward and then little by little he managed to pull himself through. Nat always said they pulled each other up from the brink.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have asked, it’s not my business.” Steve sounded like he felt really bad, as Bucky tried to push the bad thoughts away.

“Did you?” Bucky fired back at him before he could stop himself.

Steve visibly swallowed and looked down. “I didn’t really have that many people to begin with.”

“Oh.” Bucky was just doing wonderfully at this whole talking to people thing. Spending too much time alone was clearly having an effect on him. “I don’t know which is better,” he murmured, almost to himself, getting a little lost in thoughts of the past again.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes more.

“Well, here we are,” Steve stated, fairly obviously, as they reached the park where they were due to meet Matt.

It wasn’t a huge place—nothing in their town was—but it was beautiful. Bucky felt himself relax a little at the sights of the slightly overgrown grass, dotted with wildflowers, and the trees swaying overhead. The sun was out, but it wasn’t hugely warm. He tugged the zipper of his black bomber jacket up a little more and then went over to sit on the nearest bench, feeling a bit like he needed a minute, suddenly feeling nervous.

Steve stayed standing next to him. Maybe he didn’t want to get his nice suit dirty, Bucky figured. Steve always wore a suit, it seemed. Bucky thought that was pretty dumb, seeing as all he had to do was hang out with Bucky—it wasn’t like there was anyone to impress. It was a good look on him though. Bucky couldn’t help his eyes trailing over the alpha’s form again.

Steve noticeably stiffened and Bucky thought maybe he’d been caught staring, but then Bucky followed his eye line to see Matt had appeared, walking towards them in a leisurely way, like he wasn’t even nervous at all, compared to Bucky who was suddenly a wreck.

“Hi there,” Matt said as he approached, eyes lighting up when he looked at Bucky, adding a little nod at Steve.

Bucky sucked in a breath and tried to keep calm. Matt seemed nice, he reminded himself. He was quiet for an alpha. He was the best option. This would be fine.

Bucky felt underdressed as he looked at Matt. He was also in a suit, but that was because he worked as a lawyer, Bucky reminded himself. They were meeting on his lunch break, because Bucky had liked that the date felt more casual that way.

“You look great,” Matt smiled at him after Bucky’s weak nod and smile of acknowledgment.

“Um, thank you,” Bucky managed, standing up from the bench. He was just wearing black jeans with his jacket and was sure at best he just looked boring. But he hadn’t been aiming to look good. “You look fancy,” he sort of blurted without thinking, feeling flustered.

Matt shrugged one shoulder with a playful smile. “People like me to look the part when I’m defending them. Tricks them into thinking I know what I’m talking about,” he grinned wryly. “Did you want to walk around the park?” he added, tilting his head in invitation.

“Okay,” Bucky agreed, moving so he was next to Matt, about a foot between them as they started walking.

Matt didn’t tower over him like Steve did. But while he was only a couple of inches taller, somehow Bucky still felt small next to him, which was strange because he didn’t feel that way next to Steve. With Steve he felt almost delicate, but never small.

“So, how’s your day been so far?”

Bucky found himself surprised by how Matt actually seemed genuinely interested in the answer. “Uh, good. I baked some scones.” He fell silent, realising just how lame that probably sounded to a lawyer.

“I love scones,” Matt replied with another genuine smile. “Maybe sometime I can try one of yours?” he proposed with a hopeful look.

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that. “Um, yeah,” he settled on. “So do you have any interesting cases at the moment?” he asked, mainly to change the subject.

Matt started talking about that as they walked, with Bucky very aware of Steve following a few paces behind. It helped Bucky feel safer and calmer, feeling his presence there. After a short while, he started to enjoy being in the park again, listening to the birds, and hearing the trees rustle.

Matt led the conversation, continuing to actually ask Bucky about himself, and to his immense surprise, Bucky found he wasn’t hating talking to him. Matt’s work was surprisingly interesting, and the only really alpha thing he did was insist on buying Bucky his coffee when they strolled past a cart, but Bucky supposed that was a nice thing, even if Matt did look just a little bit too happy about it. He also offered Steve a coffee though and Bucky really liked Matt for that. It would have been so easy for Matt to forget Steve was there, silent as anything as he followed along. Bucky didn’t know why it meant so much to him that Steve got included, even though he did turn Matt’s offer down.

“So, I better be getting back to work,” Matt said as they approached the bench they’d started at, after around forty minutes of exploring the park and sipping coffee.

Bucky nodded at him as he reached to throw his empty coffee cup into the nearby bin.

“I had a really nice time,” Matt added as Bucky turned back to him.

Bucky swallowed. “Um, yeah, me too,” he said because it seemed like the right response. Plus it wasn’t entirely untrue.

“So, do you think you’d like to meet up again?” Matt asked outright.

Bucky found himself nodding. “Um, yeah, we could do that.” Matt really was the best option. He couldn’t say no, not when Shield might take it upon themselves to pick someone for him instead.

Matt smiled at him, not hiding how pleased he apparently was. He did that a lot, Bucky realised. He had a very open face. “I’ll be in touch then?”

Bucky nodded again, attempting to smile a little. This had gone a lot better than he expected and he was feeling a little out of sorts because of it.

“Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?” Matt asked, already reaching out.

“Oh, um, I…” Bucky stumbled over his words, as a little panicky feeling rushed through him.

“We’ll be in touch,” Steve cut in, stepping close up to Bucky’s side, and Matt backed off.

Bucky didn’t know if he was grateful or annoyed.

“See you soon,” Matt smiled, pulling himself back easily, not seeming that bothered by Steve’s little warning and Bucky’s hesitation, or maybe just trying to save face, before he turned and headed off.

“I…I didn’t need help,” Bucky said once Matt was out of sight, turning to look at Steve.

Steve frowned slightly at him. “Sorta seemed like you did.”

“I was just surprised.”

“You flinched, Bucky.”

Bucky frowned. “I…no, I…” Did he flinch?

“You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. That’s why I’m here,” Steve reminded him.

“I’m not comfortable with any of this,” Bucky laughed abruptly, incredulously. Sometimes the whole situation just hit him and he couldn’t understand how he’d ended up here. But he was scared. Scared that if he didn’t cooperate, that this choice wouldn’t be his—that omegas would go back in status to a time when they were treated like kept animals, practically given to the strongest alpha as a prize.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

Steve’s voice sounded soothing and Bucky suddenly realised he was shaking a little.

“I…can we go home now, please?” he asked. Suddenly, being outside just felt like too much. The wide, open space felt too big, too unknown, like anything could be out there with them. He just wanted to go back home. He could feel himself shuddering, and not from the slight cold.

“Of course,” Steve agreed, eyes looking worried and kind. “Do you…” He lifted his arm. “Do you want to…” He trailed off like he was very aware of the fine line he’d just walked.

Any other alpha offering his arm like that, as though Bucky needed the help, and he would have said no. Would have internally raged at them. But Steve…Bucky wanted to touch him. He wanted to hold his arm. He knew he’d be gentle and careful with him. And Bucky sort of felt like he needed the support right then, which Steve had obviously sensed.

So he lifted his own arm and wrapped his hand tentatively round Steve’s forearm.

Steve blinked at him, apparently as surprised as Bucky was at the move, but then they started walking back home, neither of them saying any more about it.

Bucky could feel the pure strength in Steve’s arm under his fingers. Could feel the warmth of him even through his suit jacket. Was hyper aware of it the whole way home. It felt steadying even as it threw his emotions off balance.

He turned to Steve when they arrived back at his front steps, still holding his arm. It was the first time, he realised, that he’d touched an alpha other than Nat since… “I have scones,” he blurted, pulling himself from that train of thought.

Steve looked at him with a little warm smile, maybe slightly bemused.

“I mean, would you like one?” Bucky amended. “I made them this morning.” Why was he always offering the alpha food? Maybe because it was the only thing he had to offer.

Steve gave him another half-smile, but then shook his head. “I should be getting back.”

“Oh.” Disappointment settled heavy in Bucky’s stomach. He stood there waiting for Steve to go and then realised he was still holding his arm. “Oh,” he said again, a little embarrassed, finally releasing him.

“I’ll get Clint to get in touch about another meeting with Matt,” Steve offered.

“Right. Sure.” Bucky nodded, while preoccupied with how his fingers wanted to reach out and hold Steve’s arm again. “Thanks,” he added lamely.

“Bye, Bucky.”

Bucky nodded his goodbye, feeling a little like Steve had just dismissed him, and then unlocked his door and went inside. He paused for a moment and then took a look out the peephole. Steve was still there, staring at his door from the bottom of the steps.

Bucky’s heart thudded in his chest.

Steve took another few seconds before finally moving off.

Bucky watched him leave, before finally moving away from his door, going to hang up his jacket.

Steve was just making sure he was inside, he figured. Just doing his job. That’s all Bucky was to him. Just a job.

****

Steve was so going to get fired. He sank back in his desk chair, trying to loosen the tension in his shoulders as he stared at his computer screen.

His job was to look after Bucky and help him find a mate, not tear his date’s head off. Which was what Steve had felt like doing most of the time he’d been watching Bucky and Matt on their date. Especially when Matt had asked about trying Bucky’s baking. Steve had felt pure rage at the audacity of it, as if Matt deserved to taste Bucky’s scones. That was just for him.

Except—he’d realised moments later, when his brain stopped being quite so stupid—it wasn’t. Bucky, Bucky’s food, his smiles, anything to do with Bucky—none of it belonged to Steve. Steve didn’t deserve the scones any more than Matt did. Steve couldn’t get mad or jealous of Matt when Bucky let out a little laugh at something Matt said or when he smiled a tiny bit at him. Steve couldn’t do anything except watch.

He’d been almost happy when Bucky had balked at Matt’s offer of a hug. Steve felt like an asshole for feeling that way, because clearly Bucky had some issues there, but all Steve could think was how relived he was. He couldn’t stand the idea of another alpha getting to touch Bucky. Matt didn’t wear scent blocker—he would have left his stench on Bucky if he hugged him and the thought of that made Steve want to throw up.

God, he was an awful person. He was happy Bucky seemed traumatised at the offer of a hug. _What sort of person thought like that_ , he chastised himself.

But he couldn’t help it. Bucky had held onto him the whole way home and it had been wonderful. It had been everything.

Steve rubbed his hands over his eyes in frustration. He _had_ to stop thinking about the omega.

But he just couldn’t.

****

“These look great, as always,” Nat praised, a few days later, as she helped Bucky place many, many chocolate-caramel, half-dipped in white chocolate cookies into a box for her to take to the bakery.

Bucky felt a little glow. “Thanks,” he grinned back. He didn’t even mind being up before five in the morning to get them done in time for the bakery’s opening at eight. Cookies _had_ to be fresh. He refused to make them the night before to sell the next day. At least he didn’t have to be up at three in the morning like the people who provided Natasha with her bread.

He got out another cheesecake he’d made, finessed from the version Steve had tried, along with the cheese scones that were really popular with the breakfast crowd.

“Stunning,” Nat commented as she looked at the cake, then moved her eyes to look at him. “Do you want to come in today? Watch people eat it?” she offered gently.

Bucky felt his smile slide from his face. He appreciated Nat and all she did for him, but every so often, she tried to push him, and it always made him feel weak. He shook his head. “I…not today,” he commented quietly.

He thought back to the last time he was there, and a wave of nausea rolled over him.

“Maybe you need to just try?” Nat offered. “Storm into it head on?”

Bucky took a shuddering breath in. “Nat, please don’t. It’s not…you know I want to, I just…I can’t.” Every time he thought of that place, he got flashbacks. He looked over at her, to see her concerned face watching him. “Look, if you need to hire someone else, if this is too hard, that’s okay. I won’t hold it against you, I would understand.” He felt sick even as he said it, but he had to say it. He loved Nat and he knew she would never bring it up herself.

Her face fell and she reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “No, c’mon, you know that’s not what I meant at all. One, no one could ever bake as good as you, and two, it’s not a problem, really. You’ve never once let me down,” she told him earnestly. “And I do understand, but I just want you to be okay. I don’t want you to not live your life. But I know it’s hard and it’s not my business,” she relented, eyes full of caring.

Bucky tried to shake off the bad feeling. “Well, I’m dating now. That’s something, right?” he told her, with a little grimace.

“Yeah, I can see you’re real enthused about it too,” she smirked at him.

He shrugged. “I mean, Matt seems okay. I just…I didn’t want this. I don’t want to be with anyone.” It strangely felt like a lie.

Nat looked sympathetic, already aware of his situation with Shield. “Maybe you should just see how it goes? Stop thinking about how it happened and just focus on how it’s going?”

Bucky sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

She smiled softly at him. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. Don’t forget that.”

He let out a soft chuckle. He couldn’t imagine any alpha wanting him, not the real him. “Thanks, Nat.” Sometimes he wished he and Nat had any romantic chemistry whatsoever, but they just didn’t. It would have been so much simpler though. Nat was just the kind of alpha he could see himself with, because she didn’t care at all for traditional roles. But now she had met her mate, Sam, a beta, and she’d never seemed happier, not that Bucky had a lot of Nat happiness to compare it to. They’d met at their lowest points, after all.

She smiled and lifted up the piled boxes of baked goods all at once. “I wish I could stay longer, but I gotta go open. You bake me up something delicious for tomorrow!” she ordered.

He smiled back gratefully. Nat let him bake whatever he wanted, within very few boundaries. They had popular items that he almost always did, but he was always thinking about what new thing he might try, along with the usual favourites. He loved the creativity of it. It was the one outlet where he could just let go and focus on something else entirely.

“Oh hey, your friend stopped by, by the way. Loved your pecan pie.”

Bucky grinned as they went out to the sidewalk. “Clint loves everything I make.”

Nat shook her head as she got into her van. “No, not Clint, some guy named Steve?” She shrugged and waved at him as she pulled away from the curb.

Bucky stood there a little dumbfounded, before realising he was outside alone, and quickly hurried back into his house, locking the door securely.

Steve had visited the bakery? Steve had introduced himself as Bucky’s friend? Steve loved his pecan pie?

Bucky felt a confusing warmth in his chest at the idea of that. This…this was bad. Bucky tried to pull himself together. He couldn’t let himself do this. But he was already there.

He liked Steve. He liked him a whole lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are making my heart explode with your amazing comments, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Up next...even more pining. And they might touch again *gasp* 😂


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky start to figure out that they might like each other.

“I’m really sorry about this,” Bucky said for the tenth time.

Steve shook his head for the tenth time. “You have to stop apologising. This is part of my job.” He didn’t add that just being near Bucky was the best bonus he could ever hope to get.

The omega looked particularly beautiful that day, in the muted colours he seemed to favour, sleeves of his grey henley pulled over his knuckles in a way that made him look adorable. Sometimes Bucky seemed so young compared to him, even though there were only three years between them. Other times he seemed far older, like he’d seen too much in his twenty-three years, which Steve supposed he had. Everyone left had.

“Yeah but it’s dumb,” Bucky argued back again. “I should be able to go grocery shopping by myself,” he said with a sigh as he picked something up from a shelf and started reading the ingredients.

He did that a lot, Steve had realised. They’d been shopping for almost half an hour because Bucky seemed to be really focused on knowing exactly what went into his food. Steve usually just grabbed whatever looked good and shoved it into the microwave. Bucky was all about fresh produce or reading all the ingredients. Steve didn’t mind it taking a while though. It just meant he got to spend more time with him. He’d been stupidly happy when Bucky had texted him to ask about shopping. Apparently his friend Natasha often picked up essentials for him, but Bucky liked to do a bigger shop himself.

“It’s not dumb. If it makes you feel safer to have me—” Steve stopped and rephrased. “I mean, an alpha with you, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Bucky stopped and dropped the item into the basket he was carrying. Steve had offered to carry it, but he’d refused. He frowned at Steve, almost examining him slightly. “You know I shouldn’t, right?”

“Shouldn’t what?” Steve asked, confused and a little distracted, wanting to grab the basket, because it looked heavy now and he didn’t want Bucky to hurt himself carrying it. He pushed down the urge. Bucky was perfectly capable—he was being ridiculous.

“Feel safer with you,” Bucky explained, fixing his eyes on Steve’s, looking somewhat perplexed. “You’re unmated.”

Steve felt his face turn red. “I, um, yes, that’s true.”

“And you know what happened to me,” Bucky added bluntly.

Steve broke his gaze. “I…no. Only the…basics.” All Clint had told him was that Bucky had had some close calls with some overzealous alphas. Steve didn’t feel it was his business to ask for details, and even more so after he met Bucky.

“What’s the basics?” Bucky challenged him.

Steve shifted his feet a little, wondering how to phrase it, before looking back at him. “That some alphas were a little aggressive with you.”

Bucky’s face looked almost relieved and then he let out an amused huff. “I guess an alpha wrote whatever report you read.”

Steve looked sadly at him, frowning at his tone. “Look, I know you don’t like alphas, and maybe rightly so, but I want you to know you can trust me,” he promised. “I would never hurt you.” He could understand Bucky’s presumptions about alphas—Steve had met many who acted just like Bucky’s perception of them—but he wanted Bucky to know he wasn’t like that, and that he would never hurt him. He couldn’t possibly hurt him. The very thought made his insides twist.

Bucky studied him for a moment. “I know,” he replied softly, dropping his gaze, the air between them suddenly entirely different. “You’re different.” He looked back up at Steve with those ice blue eyes again, framed by those long, dark lashes, and Steve’s heart thumped loudly.

Steve coughed and broke their eye contact, pushing his hair back nervously. “Um, I…”

“You went to the bakery.”

Steve felt a little panic go through him at the statement. It wasn’t a question. “I, um, yes. It’s on my way to work. It’s a real nice place.” _That was good_ , he told himself. _Just act casual_. It was decidedly _not_ on his way to work, but Bucky didn’t know that.

“Yeah, Nat did a great job. You met her?” he asked, clearly already knowing Steve did.

Steve nodded. “She seems nice.” She’d been curious, in a friendly way when she’d served him, asking how he found them, and Steve, being a terrible liar, ended up mentioning Clint and then suddenly found himself in a conversation with the redhead. Somehow she got him gushing over Bucky’s cakes. He just couldn’t stop himself. He’d tried Bucky’s pecan pie that day and was almost sure he’d reached heaven.

“What’s your favourite?”

Steve blinked as Bucky’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Favourite?”

“Cake ever?” Bucky explained, a curious look in his eyes.

“Your blueberry lemon cheesecake,” Steve replied instantly without thinking.

Bucky smiled a little shyly, like he couldn’t believe that, and let out a little huff. “You’ve only had it once.” A little red glow was appearing on his cheeks, somehow making Bucky look even prettier than he usually did.

“So?” Steve shrugged with a little grin. There was no point trying to backtrack, and it was true. That cake had been incredible. “Changed my life,” he half-joked.

Bucky beamed at him and the whole world fell away. Steve felt like he’d just been struck by lightning or something, the way that smile floored him.

“Well that’s one hell of a compliment,” Bucky said with an amused huff, still smiling. He turned back to the shelf, picking out another item. “I don’t think anyone’s been that enthusiastic about my cakes, except my mom, of course.”

His hand suddenly froze for a moment and his face fell, the mirth in the air between them dissipating in an instant. Bucky lowered his hand, looking away from Steve, all joy that had been in his eyes gone.

Steve had lost his mom when he was a teenager, long before the snap happened. He could very easily imagine how Bucky was feeling in that moment. When you let it in or something reminded you of them and the emotion poured over you, drowning you in a wave of sadness.

“I used to like peanut butter and chocolate cake,” he blurted, trying to get that haunted look out of Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky looked at him, slight confusion on his forlorn face.

“That was my old favourite,” Steve explained. “Before yours.”

Bucky gave him a slight look of wonder, as his eyes turned warmer. “I’ll make sure I remember that,” he replied softly, looking at Steve now like he was trying to see into his soul.

Steve looked away from Bucky again, suddenly feeling very exposed, noticing they were alone in the aisle. “Got everything you need?” he asked, trying to steer them back to shopping.

Bucky plucked another item from the shelf and put it in the basket. “Yeah,” he replied softly.

“Okay, let’s go over to the registers then,” Steve said, already moving that way, determined to get Bucky home as soon as possible now.

He made small talk on the short walk back, making sure to avoid topics related to cake and the bakery, and tried not to let himself be too pleased that Bucky let him help carry bags on the way back at least.

When they got back to Bucky’s place, Steve put the bags he was holding down on Bucky’s dining table. The kitchen would have been more helpful, but Steve didn’t want to risk going further into the house. As much as he wanted to be around Bucky, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to drag himself back out.

“So, I’ll see you and Matt tomorrow,” he told Bucky, already moving back towards the front door. He was due to escort them on their next date that had been arranged through Clint—a task that made him feel equal parts sick and jealous.

“Um,” Bucky started, stopping Steve in his tracks. “Did you want to stay for dinner? As a thanks for taking me shopping?”

Steve blinked at him in surprise. The omega seemed nervous, fidgeting with his pretty hair, as he waited for a response. Steve was surprised to see what looked like cautious hope in his eyes.

“I told you, it’s my job,” Steve replied, a little more curtly than he meant to.

The hope disappeared from Bucky’s eyes. It hurt Steve to see it, but he was suddenly feeling like maybe Bucky was getting a little attached, and that was just a bad idea all round. He needed to keep things professional and that meant no staying for dinner. But still, he couldn’t stand the flicker of hurt that came over Bucky’s face.

“I mean, thank you for the offer, it’s very kind of you, but it’s really not necessary,” he added quickly, trying to remedy it.

“I…um, okay,” Bucky replied softly. He looked a little dejected, but not so hurt anymore, Steve thought. That was the best Steve could do.

He turned back to the door and opened it, before turning and nodding at Bucky. “See you tomorrow.”

Bucky nodded along, but then took a step closer to Steve, trapping him with those eyes again. “Steve,” he started quietly, eyes imploring. “Why did you go to the bakery?”

Steve stood there frozen for a moment. Then he forced himself to step back. “I…have to get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He felt flustered by the question. It was like Bucky knew that he went there because he wanted to see the place Bucky worked for and see and taste more of his creations, because he just wanted to be around anything that reminded him of Bucky, anything at all.

Bucky looked at him for a moment more, eyes considering. “Lemon drizzle,” he spoke up.

“What?” Steve uttered, not really sure what he was trying to say.

“That’s my favourite,” Bucky told him, before he closed the door softly.

Steve waited until he heard the door lock before he headed for his car to head back to the office. God, he was such an idiot. Why didn’t he just say the place looked nice and he was hungry? Or even that he liked Bucky’s cakes and wanted another one. Anything that didn’t make him seem as guilty as complete deflection did.

Clint greeted him as he arrived and walked past his desk, still deep in thought. “Hey, how’d it go?”

“Fine,” Steve replied, voice measured. “It was just shopping.”

Clint smiled at him. “I mean are you guys getting along? Bucky was always a bit indifferent to the previous guys, but he seems to have warmed to you.”

Steve hated the way his heart swelled at that, at the idea that Bucky liked him—liked him more than the other bodyguards. The people who essentially did security for Bucky were changed out fairly often, it being seen as a bit of a chore to most. Steve, if he was honest, had thought the same when he was given the assignment. Protecting an omega from a mild threat at best, was not what he’d trained for. But that was before he met Bucky. Now it seemed like the most important task in the world, even if it did mean watching as Bucky fell for another alpha, and trying to keep all his emotions stuffed down inside.

“We seem to get along okay,” Steve replied, choosing his words carefully. If anyone knew how much he already cared for the omega, he’d be pulled from the case immediately. Clint seemed happy enough with his response.

Steve thought back for a moment to what Bucky had said in the grocery store. “Hey, um, you know Bucky’s history?” he asked Clint.

Clint nodded and made a little ‘mm’ noise as he resumed typing on his laptop.

“How bad was it?” Steve couldn’t help asking. “The alphas?”

Clint stopped typing and looked at him again, this time with no smile. “Bad. You want to read the full file?”

Steve was tempted. But it just didn’t seem right. If it wasn’t Bucky himself telling him, then Steve didn’t have a right to know. “No, no.”

Clint frowned slightly, but then shrugged and let him go as Steve wandered back to his desk.

He tried hard to focus for the rest of the day, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts wandering back to Bucky. He felt like he was losing his mind.

****

Steve took another sip of his water. He was sitting at the bar, watching Bucky and Matt on their date. This was definitely the weirdest assignment he’d been given. He supposed that when Bucky felt comfortable with Matt then he wouldn’t be needed anymore. But until then, his job was to keep an eye out. Omegas were valuable these days. The snap, though seemingly random, had decimated their population by sixty-eight percent, far higher than the loss of alphas and betas. Steve could understand Shield’s will to keep them safe—an omega as perfect as Bucky even more so.

Steve tried hard to not stare at him as the night went on. Bucky looked gorgeous as usual, but he seemed to have dressed up just a little for their drinks date, in black jeans that were a little more fitted than his usual, and a green plaid shirt, which showed that under his normal baggy sweaters, Bucky’s body was, in fact, perfect. All lithe and lightly muscled from what Steve could tell from looking. And god, was he looking. He reasoned with himself that he had to keep a lookout for any sign that Bucky was uncomfortable, but Bucky seemed fine in Matt’s company. Sometimes though, Bucky would look over and meet Steve’s eyes. At one point, when Matt excused himself to go to the bathroom, Bucky locked eyes with Steve, and Steve found himself unable to look away. He didn’t know what those looks meant. He knew what he wanted them to mean. He also knew that he shouldn’t want them to mean that.

Steve took another sip of water, wishing it was alcohol, but he had to stay sharp. He hoped the night would be over soon. While his self-control was usually focused on not touching Bucky, now he had to focus on not going over there to challenge Matt for Bucky’s affections. He hated it with every fibre of his being when Bucky smiled gently at Matt or when Matt leant in a little bit like he wanted to be closer to Bucky. He hated all of it.

It seemed like hours until they were finally all standing outside the bar, Steve waiting to take Bucky home. He tried to keep his distance as Matt said goodbye, but he was on alert for any panic from Bucky like last time.

Surprisingly, when Matt offered a hug this time—which Steve thought was bold and fucking pushy of him after last time—Bucky didn’t say no. Matt moved in to hug him and Bucky didn’t flinch. He allowed it. He hugged back, albeit gently, arms loose. Steve wasn’t prepared for the way his blood boiled at the sight of another alpha pressing themselves against Bucky. Thank god he was wearing scent blocker, because he was sure his anger would have been smelt in the air from blocks away.

Then Matt’s hand moved into Bucky’s hair, hand on the back of his head, and as Steve choked down a growl—because seriously, how fucking dare he—Bucky sprang backwards, eyes wide and fearful.

Steve was there in a second, putting himself between the two, and didn’t bother tampering down a snarl at Matt now.

Matt raised his hands, backing off. “What did I do?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

Steve looked back at Bucky, who looked frozen, like he’d shut down again. “Leave,” he told Matt, gritting his teeth.

“But I…is he okay?” Matt frowned, stepping forward, looking at Bucky, whose eyes had almost glazed over.

“I said go,” Steve ordered, pulling himself up to his full height, making himself look formidable.

Matt seemed to deflate, maybe knowing he didn’t really measure up, and then shook his head. “Shit…alright.” He looked past Steve, towards Bucky. “Could you just let me know if he’s alright later?”

Steve just wanted him gone, so he nodded and watched as Matt walked away, casting worried glances back over his shoulder.

As soon as he was sure Matt was gone, Steve turned to Bucky and tried to catch his eye. “Bucky, you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Bucky didn’t respond, so Steve tried again. He wanted to touch Bucky, but he knew that would be bad, both for Bucky and for himself. “Bucky, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here, I won’t let anything happen.” Except he just had. It didn’t matter if Matt hadn’t been trying to upset Bucky, the fact was he had, and once again, Steve had failed in his duty to protect Bucky. God, he was useless.

Bucky blinked after a moment. “Steve?” he choked out softly, his body starting to shake.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Tears formed in the corners of Bucky’s eyes. God, it hurt Steve’s heart to see them.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said softly. “I didn’t, I don’t know…I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he sniffled a little, blinking rapidly.

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Steve said adamantly. “You got scared, that’s all.”

“I got scared of a hug, Steve,” Bucky bit back, wiping at his eyes, and tugging his jacket more firmly closed, wrapping his arms around himself as though trying to keep his body completely closed off and protected.

“C’mon, let’s get you home,” Steve offered, trying to catch Bucky’s eyes, unsure what to do.

“I don’t want to go home!” Bucky burst out. “I just want to be normal, have a normal evening out, without turning into a mess. I want to date without a goddamn bodyguard following me! I just…” The anger seemed to seep out of him quickly, and suddenly he looked exhausted. “I just…I don’t want to be like this.”

Steve couldn’t help himself. It was the stupidest move he could make, but the omega’s distress was too much for him to bear. He wrapped Bucky in his arms before even thinking.

But Bucky didn’t pull away in fear. He tensed, likely from surprise, but then he plastered himself to Steve’s chest, his arms locking around Steve’s back tightly, the opposite to how they had with Matt, with his face pressed into Steve’s suit jacket.

Steve breathed him in, scent blocker not enough to hold back all of Bucky’s sweet scent, not when he was this close, his face against Bucky’s soft, silky hair. It was overwhelming. He was like nothing Steve had ever come across. He smelt like home, and mine, and protect, and keep safe.

And then he felt Bucky move his head slightly as he scented him too, nose by his neck, and the omega let out a soft noise that Steve could only label as contentment. And then there was something soft at his collarbone, brushing right where his shirt was slightly open, having forgone a tie this evening, and as Steve realised it was Bucky’s lips, he pulled away, suddenly in shock and horrified at what he’d just done.

“Steve?” Bucky sounded hurt and confused as Steve backed up a few paces.

He looked just as hurt and confused when Steve looked at him. “I’m sorry, I…I didn’t…I shouldn’t have done that,” Steve babbled, still feeling the ghost of Bucky’s soft hair pressed against his cheek.

“You…why not?” Bucky asked, voice laced with distress so deep that it made Steve want to gather him into his arms again instantly.

“I…it was unprofessional,” Steve stuttered.

“But…” Bucky paused for a moment. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he should continue, but then… “But you like me,” Bucky said softly, voice a little unsure, big eyes looking into Steve’s, open and honest, but scared, like he was ready for rejection.

“I…I…” _Say no_ , he willed himself. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to. “I need to get you home,” he said instead, deflecting.

“I don’t understand,” Bucky replied, and god, it almost looked like he might cry, and Steve could not handle that.

“Please, Buck, just let me get you home,” Steve implored him, the nickname slipping out without thought.

Bucky didn’t mention it though. He looked defeated. He dropped his eyes and nodded.

Steve let out a breath of relief and led Bucky to his car. As they drove, he kept his eyes fixed on the road. He could feel the confusion coming from Bucky, even without being able to smell it. The silence between them was almost unbearable, but Steve couldn’t think of anything to say to break the tension.

“Here we go,” he said, trying to sound upbeat as he pulled up to the curb in front of Bucky’s house after a short drive.

Bucky looked over at him, Steve could feel it, but he kept his eyes from meeting Bucky’s. He didn’t need those damn eyes hypnotising him again. After a moment, Bucky seemed to accept defeat and opened the car door.

Steve waited and watched as Bucky climbed his front steps, before he paused for a moment and glanced back. Steve attempted a smile at him, before Bucky turned and went inside.

Then Steve buried his head in his hands.

****

Bucky lay in bed, unable to sleep. All he could think about was Steve’s arms around him. He was so strong and broad, and his arms felt like a shield from the world. Bucky trusted them. And Steve’s scent…that had been like nothing Bucky had ever smelled. Steve wore scent blocker, like him, but he’d tucked Bucky up under his chin and Bucky couldn’t help that his nose was right there at Steve’s scent glands. Under the blocker there had been a hint of strong, musky alpha that made his head spin. His lips had even brushed Steve’s neck when he'd almost involuntarily leant in to get a better hit of his scent.

And then everything had gone wrong.

Bucky shifted in his bed, wrecked with confusion, thinking of Steve sitting in his car, head in his hands, where he’d stayed for a good five minutes. Bucky had watched him out the window without Steve even noticing.

He didn’t understand it. Steve liked him, Bucky was sure he did. God, maybe he was wrong. But Steve would have just said that, if Bucky was wrong. But instead he got flustered, in a way Bucky’d never really seen from an alpha, and then he’d refused to talk about it. So Steve liked him. Bucky was almost sure. But something held him back.

Bucky replayed the rest of the evening—the looks Steve kept giving him at the bar, the glances he couldn’t help but send back through the night. Then he remembered Matt’s hand on the back of his head and he almost felt like he might throw up.

He pinched himself, trying not to let himself get back there. The hand had reminded him so much of that moment, being forced to his knees, fingers digging into his skull, pulling on his hair…Bucky ran to his bathroom, sure he was going to throw up, but nothing came.

He sat down on the cool tiled floor, back against the side of the bath. Maybe this was the reason? Steve probably wanted someone who wasn’t a complete mess like Bucky. Probably wanted an omega he could touch without them going catatonic. Only…Bucky hadn’t with Steve. When he’d pulled Bucky into his arms, Bucky had been surprised, but there had been no fear. If anything, he felt calmer. He felt like that was the right place for him, snuggled in Steve’s huge arms, safe and warm.

Maybe…maybe he could still have that? Maybe he could work really hard and show Steve that he was okay, that he wasn’t really a mess. He’d just have to prove it to him. No more panicking. No more whining about how he didn’t want an alpha. Because, even though he hadn’t, now all he could think about was Steve. He didn’t want Matt or any of the others he’d met. He was drawn to Steve in a way he couldn’t explain. He wanted to be with Steve. He’d never wanted anyone this way before. It was scary and exhilarating and made butterflies swarm in his stomach.

Maybe this whole process had actually worked after all? Maybe not in the way Shield hoped, and in a way Bucky never saw coming, but maybe he and Steve…maybe there could be something there?

He just had to make Steve see it—to stop him being so hesitant. Maybe Steve was just concerned because of his job? Or maybe he didn’t think Bucky was worth the trouble. The thought made Bucky’s heart hurt, but then he tried to think positively. He’d just have to convince him and prove to Steve that he was worth it. He just had to show Steve what a good omega he could be for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys, your comments...my heart exploded 😍 I hope you liked this chapter! They're finally figuring out they both feel the same. 
> 
> Up next...Bucky does his best to make Steve see that they should be together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky tries to be subtle and Steve gets jealous of a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? More pining you say? 😁

Bucky paced across his kitchen, phone in hand. He’d been pacing around for about twenty minutes, trying to work up the courage to call Steve. He had his number for any time he needed anything, and Bucky had finally thought of a reason to call again after their shopping trip. Now he just had to be brave and do it.

He’d decided the best way forward was to just let Steve think he’d forgotten what happened after his date with Matt. They would just move on, because Bucky didn’t want things to be awkward between them. They’d just go back to normal and Bucky would do his best to show Steve what a good match they were.

But he would be subtle about it. He figured Steve was like a baby deer—a comparison he never thought he’d make about an alpha—sort of skittish and prone to run at the first sign of danger. So Bucky wouldn’t confront him. He would just make it so Steve eventually couldn’t deny there was something between them. Bucky doubted he could be bold enough to just tell Steve how he was feeling anyway, so this plan was right in his wheelhouse.

He took a deep breath and finally pressed to call him.

“Hello,” Steve picked up after three rings.

His voice, god…it was so deep, but so soft at the same time. It made Bucky want to curl up in a nest, with his head on Steve’s chest, feeling it rumble as he talked.

“Uh, h-hi, it’s Bucky,” Bucky stumbled over his words a little, flustered by his body’s reaction to just hearing Steve’s voice.

“Hi,” Steve said back simply, as though he didn’t already know that, when of course Bucky knew he did. “What can I do for you?”

“I, um, I was thinking I might like to start exercising again,” Bucky said as he’d practised in his head. “I used to go running, but I um, stopped.” He paused as he thought of yet another thing he liked that he stopped after what happened. He hated that.

“Okay?” Steve said gently, prompting him to go on.

“Um, but obviously I can’t really go running outside alone,” Bucky continued, biting his lip. “But I didn’t know if that’s in your job description, to, um, come running with me?” He waited, feeling hopeful but also cautious.

“My job is to keep you safe,” Steve replied simply. “This would fall under that.”

“Oh,” Bucky replied, frowning a little to himself. Steve didn’t sound particularly enthused. “But I don’t want you doing something you hate just for me. Do you like running?”

Steve actually let out a little amused huff. “I like running just fine,” he said, and Bucky thought maybe, just maybe, he might be smiling. That was good. That was progress.

Bucky smiled himself, feeling a bit better. “Okay. That’s good. Do you…when are you free?”

“Whenever you need me to be.”

Bucky smiled even bigger, unable to contain himself. “Um, how about an hour, is that okay?” He was suddenly raring to go, but he also needed time to figure out what to wear and tidy his hair up. He wanted Steve to think he looked good.

“That’s fine,” Steve replied. “I’ll see you then.”

Bucky couldn’t stop smiling as he hung up. He was so happy Steve had agreed. It would be a perfect way to spend time with him and something they could repeat, maybe a couple of times a week, giving Bucky lots of time to try and get Steve to see him as maybe someone he could want to be with. It was perfect.

****

Steve took a deep breath before knocking on Bucky’s door. He could do this. This was his job. The slip a few days ago had been just that—a slip. Just him acting in response to an omega in distress. But he was done with that. There would be no more hugs of comfort and no question from Bucky if Steve liked him, because Steve would make it clear he didn’t and that all that was between them was a professional relationship and that was all.

Bucky opened the door and Steve’s thought pattern went out the window. He had his hair pulled back into a little bun, exposing his neck, a black t-shirt that wasn’t very fitted, but showed off Bucky’s strong-looking biceps, and loose black shorts that showed off his long lithe legs. There was nothing particularly revealing or sexy about his outfit and yet Steve was still floored. He’d only seen Bucky all covered up before. This…this was different.

“Um, hi. Ready to go?” Bucky asked him, baring his throat a little as Steve swallowed, his throat suddenly very dry.

“Yeah, yes, let’s go,” Steve agreed, tearing his eyes away, hoping Bucky hadn’t picked up on his staring, moving down the steps again. “Did you have anywhere in particular you wanted to run?”

“I thought to the park and in there a bit and then back?” Bucky offered as he stopped next to him on the sidewalk.

Steve nodded. That sounded fine. He was glad Bucky wasn’t bringing up the other night. He probably realised it had been a mistake too, and was wanting to just move on. That was good.

“You’ll have to be gentle with me and not go too fast, I haven’t done this in a while,” Bucky warned with a little smile.

God, Steve could be so gentle with him. He could lay him down into a soft nest and plant kisses all down his body, relishing in Bucky’s soft skin, stroking back his silky hair, surrounding him, making him feel safe and cared for and lo—

 _Shit_ , Steve cursed himself. Why couldn’t he stop thinking these things around Bucky? And in fucking joggers no less. Steve could feel himself getting halfway hard.

“We’ll go slow, don’t worry,” Steve managed to choke out, before he started moving, getting a little bit in front of Bucky so he wouldn’t see any hint of the unfortunate situation Steve had going on.

Bucky fell into step with him as Steve set a slowish pace, hyper aware of the omega by his side. He seemed to be doing well with the pace, very focused on his running, breathing steadily. Steve tried to avoid glancing over at him too much. Bucky was remarkably graceful when he ran, and he looked beautiful in the late afternoon sunshine, hair glimmering where the sun hit it.

When Bucky skidded to a stop, Steve worried he’d pushed him too much, but turned to see Bucky had stopped to coo over a cat that was walking along someone’s fence.

“Hey there, sweetie, look at you,” Bucky murmured, reaching his fingers out towards the cat, who ignored them.

Steve watched, trying to stop finding it so adorable. He was also seriously judging the cat, because what was wrong with it that it didn’t want Bucky to touch it? It would be the luckiest cat alive.

The cat seemed to give in at more of Bucky’s cooing though and allowed him to scratch its head.

Bucky beamed at it, still telling the thing how pretty it was, before he noticed Steve was watching, and gave him a sheepish look. “Sorry. Isn’t she pretty?” he smiled, a wide innocent smile.

Steve let out an amused huff. “Sure, Buck.” Bucky looked so sweet and happy, Steve wanted to die. Like he needed anymore reasons to find Bucky enchanting.

Bucky grinned back and finally said goodbye to the cat and they started off again.

When they reached the park, Steve stopped so they could have a little break, unsure how slow Bucky needed to go, though he seemed to be coping fine. Steve was just thankful his own body had calmed down.

“That sort of pace okay?” he asked as Bucky took a sip of water from the bottle he was carrying with him.

Bucky nodded, breathing a little fast, recovering. “Felt good. We could go faster if you want?” he offered, taking some deep breaths and pushing some stray strands of hair back behind his ears.

“Okay, sure,” Steve agreed, desperately thinking about running and not other things that might make Bucky pant like that. He would usually run quite a bit faster than they had been, but then again, he usually went running almost every day.

“So I’m guessing you do this a lot?” Bucky asked as they started up again, heading round the edge of the park on the paved trail that went all the way around. They passed a few people, but the park was generally quite empty. Bucky’s eyes lit up every time they noticed a dog. Steve thought it was damn sweet to see.

“I do,” Steve admitted. “Part of my job is to keep in good shape.” He glanced over at Bucky to see the omega was watching him with a little smile.

“I can’t imagine you ever being out of shape,” Bucky said, eyes somewhat amused and sweeping down Steve’s body.

Steve hoped his blush would pass as exertion. He really didn’t need Bucky looking at him like that.

“Is this what you did before?” Bucky continued, before Steve had to figure out a way to respond to his previous comment.

Before. That’s what people always said. Life had divided into before and after. Pre and post snap. “Um, no, actually. I used to be an illustrator.”

“Seriously?” Bucky replied, sounding like he didn’t believe him. Steve could understand that. Art wasn’t a traditional alpha job. But before the snap, things had been different. It was more accepted to be a bit non-traditional. It wasn’t like that anymore.

Steve nodded, glancing over at him. “Not much need for it after the snap, so I had to find more useful work.” He couldn’t help a little bitterness in his tone. He’d loved his old job. But the world changed and it just wasn’t something people really needed. A government job had made the most sense and he’d had connections there. It made sense. Maybe someday things would be different and he could go back to it. It didn’t seem likely though. If anything, things were getting worse.

“I think art is useful.”

Steve looked over at Bucky again in surprise at the sweet comment and then smiled. “It is the way you do it.”

Bucky came to a stop, face confused. “What?” he asked, catching his breath.

Steve came to a halt too, as Bucky stared at him. “Your cakes,” he explained, surprised Bucky didn’t know what he was talking about. “They’re art.”

Bucky got a strange expression on his face. “You…you think that?”

Steve frowned a little. “Of course. That cheesecake didn’t just taste amazing. That was beautiful. You can see how you put so much effort into every detail.”

Bucky blinked those big eyes at him. “Thank you,” he said, sounding flustered. He looked genuinely shocked and maybe a little flattered. “I…I never really thought of it like that.” He looked a little lost in thought. “Do you still do illustration in your free time?” he asked after a moment.

Steve shook his head, a little sadness washing over him. “Never really get round to it anymore.” All his supplies were in his home office and he never went in there. It reminded him too much of the past. There was no point thinking about that. “Ready to go again?” he asked Bucky, wanting to get away from that topic. Steve tried to never linger on bad memories.

“Oh. Yeah,” Bucky nodded, almost as though he’d forgotten they’d been running, and they started up again, veering from the paved path to one that went through the trees.

Bucky seemed lost in thought, as he didn’t start talking again. They ran in silence, Steve listening to the sounds of Bucky breathing again, making sure he wasn’t overdoing it. The trees provided some needed shade and Steve felt a little more peaceful running through this section of the park.

He saw the almost hidden tree root coming up just as Bucky turned his head towards him and said his name, and then stumbled over it. Bucky lost his balance, about to fall flat on his face before Steve caught him, his hand tightening around Bucky’s bicep as he pulled him back and steadied him.

“Shit, good save,” Bucky said, eyes wide in shock, as he caught his breath and seemed to realise he was okay.

“No problem,” Steve replied, heart beating faster at the idea that Bucky had almost fallen. “But you should really look where you’re going.” Bucky needed to be more careful. Steve couldn’t stand the idea of him even getting one tiny scratch on him. It brought out every protective alpha trait that he wished he didn’t have that was innate in him. Bucky had to be protected.

Bucky’s face turned a little frowny, maybe at being scolded. “I’m sorry, I was, I just glanced away for a second.”

He glanced down from Steve’s face to his arm and at that moment, Steve realised he was still holding Bucky’s arm.

He quickly let go and moved back slightly, realising how close he was and how he could start to smell the sweat coming off Bucky. Sweat that smelled like pure sex to Steve. _Oh god_.

“Steve?” Bucky questioned as Steve backed up a little more.

“Maybe we should finish up here and head back?” Steve suggested, trying very hard not to love the way his name sounded when Bucky said it in that soft way of his.

Bucky’s face did a little grimace, so quick, Steve almost missed it, before he nodded. “Sure,” he agreed softly. He sounded disappointed.

“Just don’t want to overdo it on our first go out,” Steve tried to placate him.

Bucky nodded, but he looked a little bit sad, Steve thought. “Makes sense.”

The run back was a little tense. Steve did his best to focus on his breathing instead of focusing on Bucky. They pushed themselves a little more, going a bit faster on the last few streets back to Bucky’s house, and then suddenly the tension seemed to break as they found themselves launching into a little competitive sprint as they turned onto Bucky’s road.

Steve beat him to the house pretty easily, smiling widely as Bucky reached him, laughing.

“Damn, you’re pretty fast,” Bucky complained, still smiling, bending and resting his hands on his knees, as he tried to catch his breath.

Steve’s grin fell a little as he looked at how Bucky’s shirt was sticking to his back a little now with sweat. “It was a good workout,” he stated, picturing stripping Bucky out of that shirt. Maybe getting him into the shower and soaping him down…

Bucky met his eyes. “Do you think we could do this again? Maybe a couple of times a week?”

Steve cringed at his own thoughts as he came back to reality. God, he wanted to say no. But he didn’t have that option. If he wanted to keep his job, he needed to do what was required of him. Plus, part of him balked at the idea of not getting to see Bucky anymore, no matter how bad for him it was.

“Of course,” he replied, trying to keep his tone light and easy. “Whenever you want.”

Bucky’s face broke into a little smile. “I, um, I have stuff for smoothies. Do you want to come in and have one?” he offered sweetly, eyes wide and hopeful.

Steve loved when the omega offered him food. At his core it set off all his happy endorphins, because it meant there was an omega taking care of him, looking after him. His instincts loved it. His more rational self knew it was a bad idea, being alone inside with Bucky.

Thankfully, his rational self won today. “No, thank you,” he said gently. He hated rejecting the omega, even so. “You enjoy.”

Bucky’s face did fall and it made Steve’s heart pang painfully. Bucky bit on his bottom lip and looked away. “Okay,” he replied quietly.

“Just…I should be getting to the office,” Steve tried to explain, wanting to comfort him, because Bucky looked inordinately sad.

“I know, it’s just…” He stopped.

When he didn’t continue, Steve couldn’t help himself. “Just what?” he pushed.

Bucky looked up from where he’d been looking at his feet. “It’s nothing. Nevermind.”

“It’s okay, you can tell me.” Steve said the words before he could stop himself, the alpha in him wanting nothing more than to put a stop to Bucky’s distress.

Bucky looked uncomfortable. “I…I just don’t see a lot of people. It’s nice to have company sometimes, you know?” He looked drastically worried, like he expected Steve to laugh at him or something.

Steve knew loneliness far too well. Oh god, he was going to do it, he was going to say yes and go inside and be alone with the omega. “I, um, I know what you mean,” he replied gently. He forced a little smile onto his face. “Let’s go make smoothies.”

Bucky looked away. “No, you don’t have to do that, you said you’re busy.” He looked embarrassed now.

Steve shook his head. “Hey, I love smoothies. And I was being overcautious.” He checked his watch, pretending like he hadn’t realised the time. “I’ve got some time still.”

Bucky still looked a bit uncomfortable. “Um, okay?” he offered hesitantly, before turning to go up the steps and unlock the door.

He put his bottle down on the coffee table before leading Steve to the kitchen. “I, um, I’ve got a lot of different stuff, so you can pick the ones you like best?” he offered as he reached the fridge, pulling out a couple of large tupperwares filled with already cut up fruit as well as pulling out yogurt and almond milk and what looked to Steve to be some fancy health stuff like seeds and powders.

Steve willed himself to relax in Bucky’s company. It was just smoothie making. “What flavour are you going to have?” he asked, as he took the lids off the boxes for them and Bucky plugged in his blender.

Bucky looked a lot more relaxed now and smiled at him. “I’m thinking peach and raspberry, something simple. What about you?”

Steve looked at the array of fruit in front of him. “I think I’m going to put a bit of everything,” he grinned.

Bucky chuckled. “All in, huh? I like that. Come throw it in then,” he requested, stepping over slightly.

Steve picked up a couple of boxes and stepped next to him, throwing in some blueberries, trying hard to focus on the fruit and not how close together they were standing. He met Bucky’s eyes for moment, a little stunned by that frozen blue colour and how open they looked, and quickly looked down, throwing in some more fruit.

When he’d thrown in the fruit he wanted, Bucky got to work blitzing it and adding stuff until he seemed satisfied before he poured Steve his smoothie and then started on his own as Steve stepped back and took a sip.

“How is it?” Bucky asked, in between blender pulses.

Steve’s blueberry, peach, raspberry, strawberry and mango smoothie was a little bit of a strange colour, but actually tasted pretty good. “Refreshing,” he settled on with a smile.

Bucky smiled a little and ducked his head like he was trying to hide it, but Steve could see that the omega was really pleased that Steve was happy. “I’m glad,” Bucky replied.

“Thank you for offering,” Steve added. While he wasn’t thrilled by the amount of self-control it took to be around Bucky, because it sometimes made him feel like a brain-dead alpha, it was actually nice to have some company that wasn’t someone he worked with. Though actually, Bucky sort of was someone he worked with, if he thought about it, but it wasn’t the same. Maybe they could be friends, if he could just get his feelings under control.

“Thanks for staying,” Bucky said back softly, a grateful but slightly sad look on his face, as he poured his own smoothie out. “So…do you go to the gym a lot?” he continued before Steve could get lost in the slightly sad look Bucky had given him.

“Um, a bit,” Steve mused. The truth was, he went a lot. He didn’t have all that much going on in his life outside of work. Exercise was something to do, as well as being important for his job. Before he was assigned to Bucky, he was mainly assigned as protection for government officials. “We have a gym at work and I run and I have some free weights at home. I go swimming sometimes too,” Steve shrugged.

Bucky’s eyes brightened. “Swimming? Do you think maybe I could tag along sometime?” he asked, voice full of interest.

It was a perfectly innocent question, but Steve’s mind went elsewhere. It got to thinking about Bucky half-naked and wet. Then the half-naked turned to fully naked and the water turned to sweat and, oh god…Steve tried to casually move so he was turned towards the counter so Bucky wouldn’t see a visual representation of the dirty thoughts he’d just been having. He coughed, trying not to choke with embarrassment. “I, um…sure, I guess that would be fine.”

A sweet, pleased smile appeared on Bucky’s perfect face. “When are you next going?”

Steve was having trouble remembering what day it was. “Oh, um…usually on Sundays each week.” He took a long sip of his smoothie, trying to calm himself down. He seemed to spend a lot of time doing that around Bucky.

“And you’re sure it’s okay if I come?” Bucky double-checked, maybe picking up on the weird tension Steve knew he was giving off.

Steve couldn’t say no. Well, technically he could, but he just didn’t want to. “I’ll pick you up around ten-thirty on Sunday,” he promised, trying not to fill with pride at how happy the omega looked when he said that.

Bucky grinned. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are getting somewhere, promise. Just slowly. SO slowly.
> 
> Your comments and kudoses make me so so happy, thank you x
> 
> Up next...swimming!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve go swimming.

Bucky was still feeling stupidly pleased and looking forward to seeing Steve that Sunday, when Clint came over on Wednesday. His date with Matt last Friday had yet to be discussed due to Clint being away for a few days, but even that couldn’t bring Bucky down.

“So…” Clint started, as Bucky sat on the couch. “Matt. What are we gonna do about that?”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s cool, I know he doesn’t want to see me anymore.” Bucky couldn’t bring himself to care. There were things far more important occupying his head, like what Steve was doing right now. He was probably at work, at his desk. Bucky could picture him, probably concentrating hard, looking stern.

Clint raised his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s not what he told me. Said to apologise for upsetting you and that he truly hoped you were okay. And that he’d love to see you again, if you wanted to.”

Bucky blinked in surprise. “Seriously?” He wasn’t expecting that at all.

“Sometimes people are a lot more understanding than we give them credit for,” Clint mused.

Bucky felt oddly touched and then a little guilty. That was really kind of Matt, but he didn’t feel things with Matt. Not like he did with Steve. He didn’t want Matt, as nice as he might be. “What…what happens if I don’t see him again?” he asked tentatively.

“We start the process again,” Clint said with a small sigh. “But…” He paused. He seemed to be battling with himself. “Look, things have been getting worse for a while now,” he finally said. “Being an unmated omega…it, it’s not good these days. People higher up in Shield, they’re worried about population numbers. They want everyone to be having pups, no matter what…” Clint trailed off.

Bucky’s blood went cold. “So what, I’m just a breeding machine to these people?”

Clint grimaced. “Trust me when I say it makes me just as sick as you, and there are many people like me in Shield trying to do our best, but...” Clint sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to scare you, but I can’t pretend I’m not worried. If you’re not bonded or at least with someone and looking to bond in the next couple of months, Shield might chose someone for you. So just…think about it?” Clint requested. “The bond is the only sacred thing these days. Even Shield won’t mess with that. You’d be safer.” Clint looked cowed by Bucky’s appalled look. “I’m not saying just mate with anyone because of that,” he amended quickly, “I just…if you find someone you like, you’ll be safer.”

Bucky sat for a minute, trying to process. It was everything he’d suspected might happen, but never really believed until now. “Okay,” he found himself saying. “I’ll see Matt again.” He felt awful about it, but he needed to keep Shield off his back. If it meant they’d leave him alone for a while, it was worth it, even if he did feel horrible about it.

Clint nodded, looking part pleased and part sympathetic. “Okay. I’ll contact him. He’s out of town for a few days on business though, so it probably won’t be until next week. Maybe you’ll want to give him your number so you guys can talk, if you feel more comfortable with him now?”

“Maybe.” So far, all contact went through Clint. It just felt safer that way to Bucky, because even though Matt did know where he lived, his home had been specially checked by Shield and better security put in place, so he always felt safe at home at least. He didn’t know if he was ready for Matt to have a way to directly contact him, as stupid as it sounded. It felt like there would be some expectation attached to it.

“I really am sorry about this,” Clint told him, sounding sad and sincere. “I better be heading back.” He got up to leave. “Just trust me when I say there’s a group of us in Shield working hard for omega rights. I hate how they’re treating you too.”

Bucky followed him to the door. “Yeah, I know,” he breathed out. “Thank you for looking out for me.” He did appreciate it.

Clint gave him a last sympathetic look and then left, heading back to work.

Bucky curled back up on his couch, pulling a couple of blankets over himself, fighting the urge to run to his room and hide away in his closet like he used to. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything felt overwhelming. He thought he could handle this, but everything seemed to be getting on top of him again.

The one shining light was Steve. Well, Steve, and his baking. Maybe there was a deadline hanging over his head, but maybe Steve was the solution to that. And they were going swimming on Sunday, so Bucky could spend more time with him and get to know him even better. And they’d be hungry after swimming, because swimming somehow always made you ravenous, so Bucky could be prepared with lunch for them, thereby proving what a good omega he could be.

He managed to relax a little. That was a good plan. He could even make Steve’s favourite cake, or previous favourite, if Steve really thought Bucky’s cheesecake was his favourite now. He’d actually never made a peanut butter and chocolate cake, but he could already picture it in his head.

With a burst of determination, he grabbed his phone and headed for his kitchen to see what ingredients he’d need, firing off a text to Nat to request things he was missing, knowing she wouldn’t mind.

He felt heartened. Shield could go to hell for all he cared. Sunday was going to be great.

****

Swimming had been a great idea in theory, even though Bucky had never really been all that great at swimming.

Steve had picked him up in his car, and the thirty-minute or so drive to the pool had been great, Bucky had thought. They’d chatted a little and Steve seemed to be opening up a little more to him, which Bucky could only take as a good sign. He’d told him about how he was working with a team on the next census, when he wasn’t busy with Bucky of course, and how quiet the office was when Clint was away, and they’d talked a little about things since the snap. It even turned out that Steve lived really close, in Bucky’s neighbourhood. Steve didn’t seem to realise that by telling Bucky that, he’d inadvertently revealed that there was no way the bakery was on his way to work, so Bucky felt even more sure that Steve liked him. And when Steve seemed relaxed, their conversation just seemed to flow. It wasn’t like it was with anyone else.

But now he realised what a bad idea this was. It had been bad enough when he’d been faced with Steve in a tight exercise shirt, finally seeing him out of his suit when they went running. But now…now he was faced with a wall of glorious, taut muscle and he was staring, he knew he was, and he couldn’t stop it. His eyes couldn’t stop dragging themselves down over Steve’s ridiculously huge arms, then to his chest, down to his stomach, down to where a little trail of dark blond hair disappeared into the waistband of his trunks. Bucky’s mouth went dry.

At least he wasn’t the only one. As they entered the pool area, practically everyone there seemed to be taking notice of the carved-from-marble god that was Steve—alphas, betas and omegas alike. He was every inch the picture of perfection, making Bucky want to whimper and—for the first time ever—making him want to get on his knees and present for the alpha. Bucky pushed down that base urge, somewhat reeling from the shock of the thought, and was then horrified to find himself getting a little slick. His suppressants usually meant that wasn’t a problem, but he guessed even they had their limits when it came to controlling his arousal.

So he did what any omega would do and quickly sat on the edge of the pool and slid in, the slightly too cold water a welcome relief.

Steve, if he did notice the ogling, didn’t comment on it, from Bucky or anyone else. He simply did the same as Bucky and slid into the water, going under and then surfacing a moment later by Bucky’s side, shaking water from his hair, splashing Bucky a little.

“So I usually do laps,” Steve commented, voice somewhat tight, with a slightly pinched look on his face. “Do you want to do that too?”

Bucky tried to not let his gaze slip to Steve’s broad— _so very broad_ —shoulders, and definitely didn’t let it slip down to his chest and nipples that were pebbled a little due to the slightly cold water. “Um, sure,” Bucky managed, trying to pull his focus from Steve’s body.

Steve nodded in acknowledgement and then he was off. Bucky tried to keep pace a little bit behind him, but even if Steve hadn’t been such a big, strong alpha, and good god, he was so big and strong and handsome…it was clear Steve was an excellent swimmer who must swim a lot.

When it became very obvious to Bucky that Steve was slowing himself down significantly to stay close, Bucky started getting annoyed with himself. It was a pool, filled with people. He didn’t need to stay right by Steve’s side to be safe here. He was safe. No one was going to try anything here.

When they reached the shallow end of the pool again, Bucky was determined. “You go ahead,” he told Steve as he paused as soon as he realised Bucky wasn’t following behind.

Steve looked hesitant. “Are you sure? I can wait until you’re ready to go again?”

Bucky shook his head. “You should go faster. I know you want to, and I’m fine here. I don’t need you by my side all the time,” he tried to grin. Maybe he didn’t need that, but god did he want it.

Steve looked a little doubtful, but thankfully agreed. “Okay, but yell if you need me?” he asked, eyes looking firmly at Bucky.

Bucky waved him off. “I will,” he promised.

He watched as Steve waited for just another moment, before he started off, probably at twice the speed they were going before.

Bucky spent some time treading water and just enjoying the feeling. He hadn’t been swimming in over five years, he realised. It had always been an activity to do with friends, rather than for exercise for him. And they never went to the public pool. Tony’s family had been crazy rich and had their own pool in their massive backyard, and Bucky had spent many teenage summers there with him and Bruce. But they were gone now.

He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and tried to think of something else. Thinking about the past was no good. It would only end with him lying on his bathroom floor, crying until he couldn’t cry anymore. He’d done that enough times. Distraction was the key to avoiding it.

So he pushed off and started swimming lengths again, but at his much slower pace, focusing on the feel of the water. Steve sometimes swam past him and gave him a little encouraging smile, and Bucky figured that made it worth coming here. Steve smiling at him made his heart leap every time. He loved being the focus of Steve’s attention.

He wondered if Steve was thinking about him as he swam. He’d been too stunned by Steve being half-naked to notice if Steve had looked at him. He hoped Steve liked what he saw. He knew omegas were supposed to be soft and delicate—even male omegas—like the exact contrast to an alpha, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t bulky by any means, but he was toned at least, and he liked it that way. He wondered if Steve noticed. He wondered if it bothered Steve. He resolved to try and take more notice of how Steve looked at him when they got out the pool.

After a forty-minute session, Steve seemed happy enough to finish. Bucky was pretty tired by that point and had spent the last ten minutes just floating. Bucky followed him out the pool, unable to keep himself from gazing at Steve’s perfect round ass, that his wet trunks were clinging to, before he remembered his resolve and, as he climbed out, he glanced up at Steve’s face to find his pupils looked a little dilated and there was a touch of pink to his cheeks. That could just be from exertion, but Bucky sure hoped it wasn’t. Bucky thought he looked kind of tense too. He hoped that was a good sign.

They headed back to the changing rooms, Bucky feeling like he did much better at keeping his eyes on his feet instead of Steve’s body, while Steve asked him if he’d enjoyed himself. Bucky said he had, with the hope that Steve would be happy for him to come along again so they could spend more time together.

When they’d grabbed their toiletries, they walked over to the showers.

Even though the cubicles meant there were solid walls and locked doors between them, all Bucky could think about as he showered was the fact that Steve was right next to him, naked. Probably soaping up his skin, rubbing his hands over his body, and god, Bucky wanted those hands to be his.

Visions of Steve just wouldn’t get out of his head. His cock was quickly getting rock hard and he knew he was slick, even as the water washed it away. Frantically he turned the water to the coldest he could handle. There was no way he could take care of this problem here—Steve, and anyone else he passed would be sure to smell the arousal on him, soap washing his scent blocker away. He had to calm the fuck down, he willed himself.

“Um, Bucky?” a voice called over the sound of the water, many minutes later.

“Yeah?” Bucky squeaked out, freezing in horror. Maybe Steve could smell him even through the water and his lemon body wash?

“I’m all done, should I wait out front for you?”

“Um, sure. I’ll just be a minute,” Bucky yelled back, a little panicked. _A minute_. He hadn’t even started washing his hair.

Steve yelled back his acknowledgement and Bucky got to work shampooing quickly and forgoing conditioner, his body finally calming down, partly from the worry of keeping Steve waiting too long for him. He didn’t want to annoy Steve, having basically invited himself along in the first place and Steve probably had plans for the rest of his day, and it wasn’t even a workday, and now Bucky was delaying him.

Feeling a little ashamed of himself, Bucky tried to hurry, getting dressed while still a little damp, and then hurried to get to the main door out to the lobby, where someone was just coming through.

“Hey there, cutie,” the man, clearly an alpha said as he held the door for Bucky, but positioned himself in such a way that Bucky had to squeeze past.

Except when Bucky tried to—ignoring the comment, keeping his head down—the guy moved a little, blocking Bucky’s way. “Don’t you say _thank you_?” the guy asked, some amusement in his tone.

Bucky avoided looking at him. “Thank you,” he mumbled, hoping that would be that. Where was Steve? Why did he tell Steve he’d be okay to be left alone? What was he thinking? What was Steve thinking, for god’s sake?

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart,” the guy replied, bending his neck a little to try and catch Bucky’s eye, while still holding the door, but not in a way that Bucky could get out. “What do you say, how ‘bout you and me grab a drink?” he offered.

Bucky met his gaze for a second and then looked away again. The guy didn’t seem too hostile, but he was big—bigger than Bucky—and older too. “I, um, I already have an alpha,” he lied, praying that would be enough.

“You’re not mated, sweetheart,” the alpha replied, sounding somewhat curious. “What sort of alpha would leave his unmated omega alone like this, especially one that smells so fuckin’ good.”

Bucky froze. _Fuck_. In his haste to get ready, he’d forgotten to reapply his scent blocker. _Shit, shit, shit_. He took a couple of steps back, taking a somewhat desperate glance around but there was no one else in that section of the changing room. He sort of doubted anyone would step in anyway, unless they were an alpha who also took a liking to him.

The alpha let the door go completely, and it closed with a thud, as he took a step closer to Bucky, Bucky taking another couple of steps back. “Ah, honey, don’t be scared,” he mused. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want to get to know you.”

Bucky shuddered. The alpha could fucking smell his fear on him. It was just one of the reasons Bucky always relied on scent blocker. He couldn’t believe he forgot to reapply it. The alpha might still have been interested without his scent, but definitely not this much. Bucky was probably driving him crazy. This was all his fault.

He tried to work out his options. He could scream and hope someone got there fast enough, but maybe that was overreacting? Or he could run, either back to the pool or at least to one of the lockable shower cubicles, but alphas loved to chase. His heart pounded as he thought about the last time he’d had to run and lock himself in.

Just as he was trying to figure out what to do and the alpha took another step closer, the main door opened.

 _Steve_.

Steve was there. Bucky felt pure relief flood him, as the other alpha startled at the noise, looking back, and Bucky watched as Steve’s pleasant face fell as he took in the scene in front of him. And then his expression was replaced with what Bucky could only describe as pure fury.

Steve was on the other alpha in a second, yanking him by the collar, slamming him against the mirrored wall so hard that it shook. Bucky was surprised it didn’t crack. “What the hell do you think you’re doing,” he growled, baring his teeth.

The other alpha, who had seemed so big and scary to Bucky just a moment ago, looked cowed and small next to Steve. “Shit,” he choked out, Steve pulling his collar tight. “I didn’t know he was yours.”

Steve growled again. “If you touched him…” he started threatening.

The guy shook his head furiously, at least as much as he could with Steve’s grip on him. “I didn’t, I swear. I just asked him to get a drink.”

“Did he touch you?” Steve asked, eyes still on the alpha, so it took Bucky a minute to realise he was talking to him.

“N-no,” he managed. “But he…he wouldn’t let me leave.”

“You wouldn’t let him leave?” Steve questioned, voice like steel, and Bucky saw his hand move from the guy’s collar to his actual throat.

Bucky watched as the guy started choking, Steve obviously cutting off his air supply, his face like nothing Bucky had ever seen before. It was maybe the first time Steve had truly looked like an alpha to him, huge muscles aside.

“Steve,” Bucky called softly, watching, oddly fascinated by the fear in the other alpha’s eyes. “Steve?” he called a little louder when Steve ignored him. “You’ve gotta stop, you’re hurting him,” he yelled when Steve still didn’t pay him any attention.

Steve finally glanced over at him in the mirror reflection and then back at his hand, releasing the guy, who went choking onto his knees, catching his breath. “You ever do that to an omega again, I swear to god, you’ll have me to answer to,” he snarled at the guy.

The guy nodded, shaking on the floor, before he ran straight back out the main door, Steve watching him, looking like he very much wanted to chase him but managed not to.

When Steve turned to Bucky, his face had softened entirely. “Are you okay?” he asked gently, approaching him quickly.

Bucky shook his head and backed away a little, making Steve pause. “It was my fault, I forgot my scent blocker,” he murmured. He should have been more careful. He shoved his hand into his bag in a desperate attempt to locate his roll-on and pulled it out and started rolling it furiously over his neck and wrists and then any other exposed skin. He was such an idiot.

“Buck, hey,” Steve said softly as Bucky kept rolling it over and over, determined to cover every bit of himself. “That’s not your fault. You should be able to go anywhere with no scent blocker and not be cornered like that.”

Bucky blinked in surprise as Steve’s hand was suddenly on his, taking the roller out of his hand gently. _When had he gotten so close?_

“I shouldn’t have left you, I just didn’t think,” Steve continued, sounding like the sorriest person Bucky had ever heard. “I’m so sorry.”

Bucky shook his head, avoiding Steve’s gaze. “I told you to.” He could feel himself shaking.

Then Steve’s arms were round him before he knew it, Steve gently shushing him, trying to soothe him, Bucky figured. For once, he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to be weak and need the comfort, but he couldn’t stop himself clinging onto Steve’s waist, face pressed into his shirt.

It was only for a second. He forced himself to pull away, taking the scent blocker back and shoving it into his bag. “Can you just take me home, please?” He could feel himself shutting down and he didn’t want to, not in front of Steve, not again. He just wanted to go home. Home was safe. Alphas couldn’t get him there.

Steve did as he asked. He loomed over Bucky protectively as they walked out and back to the car, and he kept asking if Bucky was okay the whole ride back, but Bucky just nodded, gazing out the window.

He didn’t linger on goodbyes with Steve like he usually did when they got to his house. He didn’t invite him in for the roast chicken sandwiches he’d made specially for them for lunch in the hope that Steve would stay, or the four-tiered peanut butter chocolate cake he’d made three times before it was just perfect. He just said thanks and closed the door.

Then he found himself back on his bathroom floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like maybe this chapter didn't go where you guys thought it would! I hope you liked it though.
> 
> Once again, a million thanks for the amazing comments, they are so kind and really make a difference to me, you make me smile so big! x
> 
> Next chapter...Bucky's having a setback and finally gets sick of subtle.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is sad, Steve is worried.

The incident at the swimming pool was a setback. Bucky couldn’t help the fact that he didn’t want to go outside again, but he hated himself for it. He hated that one incident could affect him so much. He felt jittery and nervous, even at home. He wanted to see Steve, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t want Steve to see what a mess he was, not when he wanted so badly to prove to him that he could be worthy of him.

So he didn’t call Steve to arrange another run or go grocery shopping. He just stayed in his house, alternating between baking and curling up on the couch, hoping for the fear to pass.

Bucky’s phone ringing woke him from his afternoon nap later that day. If there was one person he wasn’t expecting to call him, it was Steve. But there it was on his screen. Steve was calling.

He tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat, and picked up. “Hello?” he answered, before coughing up the frog in his throat.

“Hi, Bucky. It’s Steve.”

“I know,” Bucky replied, the way he felt himself melt a little at Steve’s voice not lost on him.

“Right.” Steve paused. “I, um…I thought I’d see if you wanted to go running today?”

“Oh,” Bucky uttered. He hadn’t really expected that Steve would care if they didn’t go running, but he supposed that he had sort of asked for it to be a regular thing. Steve was probably just trying to do like he’d asked. “Um, not today,” he found himself saying. As much as he wanted to see Steve, the thought of being outside right now…he just didn’t want to.

“Is there a different day that would be better?” Steve queried.

“Um…can I get back to you on that?” Bucky offered. He didn’t know if or when he’d feel up to going again. He was barely functioning right now—running seemed like a giant challenge at that very moment.

“Oh. Sure, Buck, that’s no problem,” Steve said politely, but Bucky thought he could hear disappointment there.

There was a small pause for a moment. “Okay, well…see ya, Steve,” Bucky broke the silence, before Steve said goodbye and they hung up.

Maybe Steve liked having a running buddy, Bucky mused. Or maybe Steve liked spending time with him?

Either way, it didn’t matter. Bucky sunk into his soft cushions even further. He was better off here.

****

Steve called him again the day after. This time to see if Bucky needed to go grocery shopping. He seemed concerned that Bucky hadn’t called to get Steve to take him, as though he was worried about Bucky starving to death.

“Nat picked some stuff up for me, so I don’t need to go this week,” Bucky told him.

She had. She’d brought him all the baking supplies he needed from the bakery and a few essentials when Bucky had requested it. She’d also noticed something was wrong, but the good thing about Nat was that she knew when to push and when not to, and she must have sensed it was one of the latter times as she didn’t linger and didn’t bother him, except to remind him to shower. Which, okay, by the last time she prompted him was fair, as it had been four days at that point.

“I’ve got something baking, I’ve gotta go,” Bucky lied to Steve. He just didn’t want Steve to ask about running again, didn’t want to feel weak and pathetic like he knew he was.

Steve apologised and let him go.

Bucky knew he had to stop this. He needed to pick himself up, yet again, but it always felt so hard to do. But he managed to drag himself up to clean the house a bit later that day, which felt good. Other than baking, he’d not really been getting much done lately, so he took that as a win.

Except when he dusted some shelves, his eyes fell on his family’s photo album and for once, he didn’t resist it. He pulled the album out and settled down on the couch, gingerly opening it. He hadn’t looked at it in years. Most of the memories of his family had been boxed up and put into the locked rooms—his parents’ and his sister’s rooms. The whole house was its own memory—he didn’t need more to remind him every day. But the photo album had always sat there on the shelf, tucked between _The Wizard of Oz_ and _The Bell Jar_. Most days he didn’t even see it.

The first picture was a group shot of all of them, taken when they’d gone on vacation to the beach. Bucky’s eyes instantly filled with tears at the sight of his mom and dad and his sister. God, he missed them so much. Sometimes the five years that had passed seemed like a lifetime, but sometimes it felt like only yesterday that he watched, horrified, as his mother crumbled into dust in front of him.

There’d been so much chaos that day. Planes had fallen out of the sky. There had been fire and carnage and destruction everywhere, and in the middle of it, people. People screaming as they saw their loved ones disappear in front of their eyes.

Bucky had run through to the backyard where his dad and sister had been, screaming for them, to find nothing. Nothing but ash. He’d tried calling his aunt, but she didn’t pick up. He ran to his neighbours to find them screaming too. They’d watched their three-year-old son turn to ash.

Eventually the news started reporting what had happened. No one believed it. Bucky couldn’t believe it. It took weeks, maybe months, until it felt like it was true. They really weren’t coming back.

Bucky cried as he turned through every page in the photo album.

It wasn’t fair. He missed them so badly. More than anything, he wanted to talk to his mom, tell her about Steve and ask for her advice. She would know just what to do. Hell, she’d probably sit Steve down and know in a second what he was feeling. She could always tell with Bucky.

He wanted to show his dad how he’d perfected his cherry almond pie. It had always been his dad’s favourite. Bucky never made it anymore. Couldn’t. Not since that last time, when it had finally been perfect and then he’d thrown it across the room in a fit of anger and utter anguish because his dad would never get to taste it. He’d never hear his dad tell him how proud he was again.

He wanted to go to the movies with his sister and argue over the hot actors and add more quotes to their ever-growing list of inside jokes that no one else understood, and know that no matter what, they’d always have each other.

He wanted them back. He wanted himself back. He wanted to know who he might have become if things had been different. He could remember being happy, for a teenager at least. He was going to go to culinary school and Tony was going to go to business school and they were going to open their own restaurant when they graduated. They always joked that they’d let Bruce be a waiter when his plans to be a doctor fell through.

They would have been happy. Bucky would have been happy. He wouldn’t be the mess he was now.

He closed the album, putting it down on the coffee table, and curled up on his couch, making himself as small as he could. The house seemed cold and empty, full of echoes. He sometimes wished he could have sold the place, so he could escape the memories, but then he’d have nothing. Plus there wasn’t exactly a housing market anymore.

He dragged a blanket over his head, the tears continuing to fall. He didn’t try to stop them. Sometimes he knew he needed to let himself cry. He knew eventually they would stop.

Everything stopped eventually.

****

When Clint called to arrange his next date with Matt, Bucky lied and said he had flu. Clint had been very understanding and made him promise he’d stay in bed and get lots of rest and to let him know when he was feeling better, but to take it easy.

Clint really was a good guy. Bucky felt kind of bad for lying. But he just didn’t want to do it. He’d managed to pull himself together from his photo album breakdown, but he still couldn’t make his peace with his current situation. The incident at the pool had brought back memories of his attack and he was still trying to deal with that too. He was still covering himself in scent blocker just to stay at home.

When there was a knock on his door a few hours later, Bucky frowned and crept to the door quietly to check the peephole. His heart jolted as he found himself looking at a slightly distorted image of Steve.

He attempted to flatten his hair a little and frowned in confusion as he opened the door. “Steve?”

“Bucky, are you okay?” Steve asked, worry all over his face as his eyes seemed to dart along Bucky’s face and then body, as though looking for damage.

“I…I guess?” Bucky replied, wondering about the concerned look on Steve’s face.

“You should get back to bed, I didn’t mean to make you get up,” Steve said as Bucky let him in, Steve closing the door behind him. He held up a bag in his hands. “I got you some soup and some vitamins and things.”

_Oh. Right_. Because Bucky had said he was sick, and Clint must have told Steve.

“Do you think you feel up to trying to eat a little?” Steve continued, talking a mile a minute. “You go on back to bed, I can heat it up for you.”

Bucky was charmed by his mother hen routine, but also bewildered by it. Steve was usually so calm and collected, but now he was dithering about like he was really concerned about him. Bucky felt a pang as he realised how long it had been since someone had wanted to look after him, Nat aside.

Bucky sighed as Steve looked expectantly at him. As much as he liked the idea of Steve bringing him soup, he couldn’t lie to him.

“I’m not sick, Steve,” he admitted.

Steve’s face changed to a confused frown. “You’re not? Clint said you had flu?”

Bucky let out a breath, looking away, feeling a little ashamed. “Yeah, cause I lied to him. I just…I wanted to be left alone.” He forced himself to look back at Steve.

“Oh,” Steve’s face coloured. “I’m sorry, I’ll just…” He dipped his head and started moving back the couple of feet to the door, shoulders a little hunched.

“Steve,” Bucky stopped him, letting out a deep sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that. I…it’s nice to see you,” he admitted, meeting the alpha’s concerned eyes. “It’s really nice that you brought me soup and stuff.”

Steve looked at the bag in his hands again and then back at Bucky. “I just thought…” He paused. “I used to get sick a lot when I was a kid and I hated it. Can’t really help but try and look after people when they get sick now,” he continued with a wry smile.

Bucky felt himself melt again. “Are you hungry?” he offered. “We could share it?” he suggested, tilting his head at the bag.

Bucky swore he saw a flash of happiness on Steve’s face before he looked back at Bucky. “Are you sure? I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Bucky grinned at Steve’s politeness and reached out to take the bag from him. “C’mon.” He felt brighter somehow, having Steve there, like the grey that had been floating over his head had dissipated. He led the way to the kitchen with Steve following behind.

“So how are you?” Steve asked as Bucky got to work heating up the tomato and vermicelli soup Steve had brought.

“Fine,” Bucky lied automatically, staring at the pan as he stirred the soup idly.

Steve didn’t reply for a moment. “I…sorry if I’m overstepping, but you don’t seem fine,” he finally said gently.

Bucky didn’t turn round to look at him. “I just haven’t felt like going out much,” he admitted quietly.

“Because of what happened at the pool?” Steve offered softly, less a question and more a statement.

Bucky sighed a little, turning the heat lower under the soup, putting his spoon down in a bowl, finally turning to face Steve, though not quite looking at him. “Look, I know it wasn’t a big deal or anything, but it is what it is. It just…I don’t feel safe out there,” he confessed.

Steve shook his head, moving forward a little from where he’d been leaning against the kitchen island. “Buck, if it upset you then it’s a big deal. And it wasn’t nothing. He was so out of line and I know it was scary. It would have been scary for anyone. You’re not weak for it effecting you.”

Bucky was surprised by his kind words. All he felt lately was that he was weak. He opened his mouth to thank Steve, but Steve kept going.

“God, if I hadn’t left you there…” Steve looked distraught now. “I shouldn’t have, I was such an idiot. Honestly, I can’t even believe you let me in your house. You should be furious with me.” Steve met his eyes and Bucky could see the shame in them. “In fact, if you want to request another bodyguard, I would completely understand.”

That suggestion sent Bucky’s heart lurching in fear. “No!” he said, a little too loudly. “No, I don’t want that. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t expect it, it seemed safe there. I don’t blame you,” he promised, trying not to sound too desperate.

Steve looked back at him with slight amazement. “I’m still so, so sorry,” he finally replied. “You should feel safe all the time, I’m sorry I failed in that.”

Bucky let out a little huff. “You didn’t fail in that.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, except for when I’m here, the only time I feel safe is when I’m with you,” he added, feeling a bit vulnerable, trying to get across to Steve just how much he meant that.

Steve smiled slightly, almost like he was touched by that.

It was enough for Bucky to be a bit braver. “I…I like when you’re around,” Bucky stated, heart about to burst out his chest, stepping a little nearer.

Steve seemed to freeze a little. “Um, good, I’m glad,” he said after a moment.

“Do you—” Bucky started, but he didn’t get to finish.

“The soup is probably done,” Steve pointed out, cutting him off.

Bucky turned to see the soup bubbling a little and felt himself deflate. “Right. Soup.” He moved back to it and turned off the burner, then ladled it out into two bowls before offering one out to Steve.

They ate in the living room at Bucky’s dining table, a somewhat awkward silence between them until Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He was suddenly so tired of this. So tired of pretending, of hoping and pining. Everything in his life sucked but he wasn’t doing anything to change that. He was hiding all the time—hiding from the world, hiding his feelings, and he was sick of it. He put his spoon down into his half-finished soup and looked directly at Steve.

He could feel the tension between them as Steve glanced at him and then down at his spoon with a little frown. Bucky knew he wasn’t imagining this. He had to get Steve to admit that he liked him.

“Steve,” Bucky started, trying to keep his voice strong. “I think we should talk about this.”

Steve looked a little flustered, looking away from Bucky, back to his own bowl, spoon frozen in his hand. “Talk about what?” he said weakly.

“You know what,” Bucky replied softly. “Don’t pretend you don’t.”

Steve let out a small sigh and then took a moment, looking over at Bucky’s bookcase, before finally looking over at him. “Look, I know you’re getting a little attached—” he started, before Bucky cut him off with an incredulous laugh.

“Me?” Bucky replied in disbelief. “ _I’m_ getting attached?”

Steve looked perturbed by his outburst.

“You’re the one who called me twice this week and then just showed up,” Bucky reminded him.

Steve looked away with another sigh, and Bucky could see him closing himself off. “It’s my job, Bucky,” he explained, almost as though he was talking to a child.

Bucky refused to let himself be hurt by that. “It’s really not,” he argued. “Your job is to be there when I call you. It’s not to check on me and bring me soup.” He folded his arms across his chest and leant back in his chair, feeling like he’d made an excellent point.

“Shield cares about your welfare. Omegas are valuable,” Steve replied, not meeting his eyes, sounding like he was reading from a script.

“Stop it.” Bucky pushed back his chair and made a move towards Steve, who was up on his feet instantly, moving away a little. He hated the look on Steve’s face. He’d gone completely cold with him.

Bucky stepped as close as he could, and this time Steve stood his ground, albeit with his eyes darting around. It really highlighted the height difference between them, but Bucky refused to back down. He was done backing down. “Why are you fighting this? I know you like me,” Bucky informed him boldly.

Steve looked down at him, bright blue eyes piercing Bucky’s. “We can’t do this. I should go. I’m glad you’re not sick.” He started moving, but Bucky blocked his way.

Steve visibly swallowed. “Bucky, please,” he said, his face changing to the softer Steve that Bucky had gotten to know.

This was his chance. He had to get Steve to see. “I…I know I’m messed up,” Bucky told him, distress suddenly filling him. “But I can do better. I…I want to…for you. I’ve never wanted that with anyone else.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked, brow furrowed now.

“I…I can stop panicking, I know I can. I don’t feel that way when you’re around anyway. You make me feel safe, like I’m not broken,” Bucky implored him.

“Oh, Buck,” Steve said his name like a little sigh. He looked almost as distressed as Bucky felt. “Don’t ever think you’re broken. You…you’re perfect. Completely and utterly perfect.”

Bucky felt his mouth open, but no words came out. He almost felt like his heart stopped for a moment. “You…you think I’m perfect?” he whispered.

Steve just let out a little sigh and looked away.

Bucky reached out for him. He couldn’t stop himself. He put his hand on Steve’s cheek and surprisingly Steve didn’t move, though his breath did hitch as their eyes met. “I…I want this…us,” Bucky stumbled over his words, staring at Steve with imploring eyes, the feel of Steve’s skin making his heart pound. “Please, just tell me you want me.”

Steve shook his head, taking Bucky’s hand and gently pulling it from his cheek. “It doesn’t matter what I want. We can’t have this,” he said as he released Bucky’s hand.

“Why not?” Bucky felt like he was seconds away from crying now. He just didn’t understand. If Steve liked him, what was the problem?

“Because I’m saying no, Bucky,” Steve said, voice firm now. “You and Matt, you’re a good match. You should focus on him.”

Bucky let out an incredulous huff. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Steve replied bluntly. “I’m going to go now.” He was already moving.

“Steve,” Bucky choked out his name, lurching after him, in one last attempt to get Steve to talk to him as he reached the front door. “I don’t understand.” He felt an unwanted tear slide down his cheek.

Steve looked forlorn and reached out and wiped his thumb over the tear. Bucky couldn’t help leaning into the touch. “Buck, please don’t cry,” he said in the softest voice imaginable, like Bucky’s crying was physically hurting him. “We…we’re not a good match, okay? Let’s just leave it at that.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say as Steve took one last sad look at him and then turned and left. Bucky stared at the closed door for a few moments. He blinked back the tears that wanted to fall. He couldn’t understand anything that had just happened.

****

Steve couldn’t be sure how he made it home. His head was swimming. Bucky…Bucky wanted him. He hadn’t imagined it, hadn’t read into things too much. Bucky liked him. The most beautiful and perfect omega in the world liked him. It was too much for Steve to bear.

He should call Clint and get himself reassigned. That’s what he should do. Then he would never have to see Bucky again. Eventually the thoughts of him would fade. Everything faded.

But as Steve slumped onto his couch he just knew that he couldn’t. He would torture himself by being near Bucky, because it meant he got to be near Bucky. And that was enough. He was lucky enough that he just got to be around him and he would hold onto that for as long as he could.

Bucky would get over this. Eventually he would probably fall for Matt and he’d trust him and he wouldn’t need Steve or Shield anymore. That was what was supposed to happen. When it did, Steve knew he’d be devastated, but it would be worth it. Bucky would be safe and happy. Steve couldn’t make him happy. But it was his job to keep him safe.

That was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooof so close. Poor Bucky 🙁
> 
> Your comments are incredible, thank you so much, it's so cool to see that you guys like this story x Also I told someone this would be up Thurs or Fri so surprise! Got it done quicker 🙂
> 
> Up next: Bucky is very confused but he's not giving up on Steve.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meanders along, Steve has problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor sexual content ahead.

“You made cupcakes?” Nat queried, with a raised eyebrow.

Bucky pulled the last batch out the fridge. He didn’t know why, but cupcakes were the thing he made when he was upset. Having to individually decorate them meant concentration and skill and it helped him calm down. Of course Nat knew that. “I had a bad day yesterday,” he admitted.

“Things not going well with the alpha?” Nat asked, helping him to take the cupcakes out the tray.

“No,” Bucky admitted.

“I thought you didn’t really care either way?” she remarked. “These are beautiful,” she added, taking in they way Bucky had iced the cupcakes to look like succulents. It had taken hours upon hours to get every single one perfect.

“Thanks.” Bucky was actually really proud of how they’d ended up. “And I don’t. Different alpha.”

Nat furrowed her brow. “Different? You started dating a new one?”

“Nope,” Bucky huffed at himself. “Me being me and me being stupid, I decided I liked the look of my bodyguard instead,” he admitted, chastising himself. Why couldn’t he have just liked Matt? Everything would have been simpler.

“Steve?” Nat questioned, looking surprised which was a rare look for her.

“I know,” Bucky sighed at the look on her face. “I know it’s stupid.”

“Why’s it stupid?” Nat frowned at him as she finished boxing up the cupcakes.

“Because he said no.” Bucky was still reeling from Steve’s rejection. It was all so confusing because it partly sounded like Steve wanted him—he’d called him perfect, for god’s sake—but then he rejected him and Bucky just didn’t know what to think.

“I’m sorry.” Nat reached out and squeezed his hand. “I don’t get it though. He visits the bakery all the time and always has your cakes and raves about them when I ask.”

Bucky frowned at her. “He does? All the time?”

“Oh yeah. Every other day probably.”

“He probably just likes the cakes,” Bucky grumbled a little.

Nat shook her head. “No, he gets this look in his eyes…It’s not about the cake. Honestly, if he’s saying no, I don’t think it’s because of you. Maybe there’s another reason?” she mused.

Bucky contemplated that idea. Steve said he was perfect, but then said they weren’t a good match. He didn’t know why Steve thought that, because he’d never met someone he’d felt such a connection with before, but maybe there was something? Maybe Bucky just needed to figure out what. Maybe he could fix it and then Steve would change his mind?

Nat let out a soft laugh. “I can see you plotting.”

“I…I think you’re right,” Bucky realised.

“Maybe he’s worried about his job?” Nat mused.

“I don’t see why that would be it,” Bucky replied, thinking about it. “Shield just want me with an alpha, I don’t think they’d have a problem with it being Steve.”

“He sure is an alpha if I ever saw one,” Nat smirked.

Bucky swatted her lightly on the shoulder with a little grin. “That he is.” He fell into a little daydream about Steve all wet at the pool, muscles shining in the light.

“Still, I guess if he’s not on the alpha list for you, then maybe that’s got him worried?” Nat proposed. She paused and frowned. “Actually, I take it back. That’s pretty wussy for an alpha.”

Bucky huffed in amusement. “That’s why I like him, or at least one of the reasons,” he replied, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. “He’s not all macho dumb alpha. He can be really sweet.”

Nat smiled slightly, probably at the look on his face. “I don’t know what advice to give you,” she admitted. “On the one hand, I think he feels something too, especially from what you describe, but on the other…you shouldn’t have to go chasing someone. You deserve more than that. You should have someone who falls at your feet.”

Bucky blushed a little. “Nat…” he whinged slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“It’s true,” she told him firmly, not allowing him to argue. “But that said, if you really like him and really think he’s worth it…” she shrugged.

“I think he is,” Bucky admitted with a small hopeful smile. “I just need to find a way to prove that we are a good match. I can do that,” he said a little more confidently than he felt before self-doubt crept in. “Can I do that?” he hesitated.

Nat grinned. “Don’t underestimate yourself.” Her face changed to a concerned one. “But be careful too. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Bucky smiled sadly at her. “I know hurt. It doesn’t worry me all that much.” And Steve was worth it. Bucky could risk it if there was a small chance he could make Steve see. Steve was worth the risk.

****

“Um, wow,” Clint said, a second after Bucky opened the door.

Bucky had invited him, and therefore Steve over when he was fake better so they could plan his next date with Matt, but really so Bucky could start his plan of getting Steve to change his mind about them. They could have talked on the phone, but Clint was one of few people he had contact with and seemed to realise that, always coming over instead of calling. It was sweet of him and Bucky appreciated it.

Unfortunately the plan didn’t seem off to a great start. Bucky frowned at the big empty space where a tall blond should have been.

“What happened?” Clint asked as Bucky let him in, disappointment surging through him.

“What do you mean?” he asked as he closed the door, even though he knew what Clint meant.

“You smell like cotton candy,” Clint commented as he put his briefcase down on Bucky’s coffee table.

“Uh, thanks?” Bucky grimaced. “I ran out of scent blocker,” he lied.

“Shit, well I’ll get Steve to grab you some more. Can’t have you out there, smelling like that, even with Steve for protection.” Clint sat down in the comfy chair, pulling out his phone, texting.

Bucky felt his heart beat in excitement. Maybe Steve would go get it now and then come over? And really, that was his plan. He wanted to see how Steve would react to him without his scent blocker. He was, truthfully, a little bit nervous, but he’d thought with Clint there, he would be okay, and in his gut, he trusted Steve. He just needed to see for himself, to see if Steve would react to it and how. Sometimes scent could tell you everything.

“So, Matt said he hoped you were feeling better and wanted to see if you wanted to have dinner on Thursday?” Clint asked.

Bucky shrugged. “I guess.”

Clint chuckled. “I probably won’t tell him how enthusiastic you are about it.”

“Clint?” Bucky asked, feeling a little guilty. “Does Matt, I mean…do you think he really likes me?”

Clint smiled a little. “This isn’t really the easiest of situations so yeah, I’d say so.”

Bucky felt even worse. “I made toffee cake, do you want some?” he offered, changing the subject.

Clint’s face lit up.

Once Bucky provided him with a huge slice of cake plus a dollop of hand-whipped cream, they spent a while just chatting, Clint arranging his next date with Matt at the same time, Bucky trying to push down the guilt he felt about it. This wasn’t his fault. This was Shield’s fault and their bullshit matching program. Bucky was doing what he had to do.

Eventually they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Bucky’s heart leapt. _Steve_. “I’ll just get that,” he told Clint, his legs feeling a little jelly-like as he got up.

He checked the peephole to make sure it was Steve and then opened the door, full of nerves. “Hi.”

Steve’s head snapped up from where he’d been looking at his shoes. “Bucky…what…?” he asked, voice somewhat reverent. He stumbled backwards a little. “Oh Jesus,” he whispered under his breath. His pupils had dilated wide and he was staring at Bucky now.

“Come in,” Bucky said, trying to act like nothing was wrong.

“No, I…I’m just dropping this off,” Steve stuttered and then he almost lobbed a brown paper bag at Bucky, who caught it as it hit him in the chest, and then Steve hurried back down the steps, leaving Bucky staring after him as he all but fled down the street.

Bucky couldn’t help but feel a little pleased. It wasn’t quite the reaction he hoped for, but clearly his scent did something to Steve. He returned to the house feeling a little better.

“Steve dropped this off but then he had to go,” he informed Clint, holding up the bag.

Clint looked at the bag and then Bucky. “Hm,” he acknowledged, going back to his second piece of cake.

Bucky tried not to smile too much for the rest of the time Clint was there, but he felt buoyed. Steve did want him. He knew it. He just needed to keep trying, to prove to Steve that he was worth it.

****

Steve hated himself. He hated himself but he couldn’t stop himself. He’d practically ran home, away from Bucky, away from the most perfect scent he’d ever smelled, a scent that had sent him reeling, and then he’d found himself on his bed, a hand shoved down his pants. God, he hated himself, but Bucky’s true scent had been like an aphrodisiac drug to him—he was so hard and so turned on, he couldn’t not do something about it.

It was just a fantasy, that was all. A fantasy didn’t hurt anyone. Except himself. Still, he felt awful about it, but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop picturing Bucky’s beautiful face and imagining himself pulling off Bucky’s clothes and pressing him down onto a soft bed. He couldn’t stop imagining Bucky moaning and crying out for Steve, begging for his knot. What he really couldn’t stop picturing was taking care of Bucky—kissing every inch of his soft looking skin, making him writhe in pleasure and sigh in happiness at having Steve’s arms around him.

Steve squeezed his fist tightly round his cock, so tight it bordered on painful, as he came fast and hard with a loud groan.

He panted as he recovered, and then came back to his senses a little.

God, he had to stop this. It had practically killed him to say no to Bucky, to walk away, and that had been when he _hadn’t_ smelled so divine.

Steve sighed as he pulled himself off the bed to clean up, mind replaying the last few days over and over.

He just had to get control of himself again. He was good at that. Bucky had scent blocker again, so Steve wouldn’t have to go through that again anyway. And he’d shut Bucky down and he was sure Bucky would realise he was right and get over his crush and start paying proper attention to Matt.

Steve made his way to the bathroom and washed his hands, before looking up and staring at himself in the mirror. He could do this. He could. This was why he was chosen for this. Because he wasn’t like other alphas.

He could do this.

Except…

Steve looked down.

He was hard again. Painfully so. He couldn’t stop his thoughts wandering back to Bucky.

He started imagining what Bucky’s skin might taste like. If it was anything like his scent, he would taste so sweet. Steve wanted to run his tongue over every inch of him and find out.

He had a sudden urge to go back there, to Bucky’s house. He could rip Bucky out of the tight jeans he’d been wearing—and seriously, when had Bucky gone from baggy, ripped clothes, to jeans that hugged his thighs like that—and he could carry him up the stairs to the bedroom and press Bucky down into the mattress…

He could take him over and over again. The omega would be writhing, dripping for him, moaning for him, everything too much, but always wanting more, and Steve would give it to him, everything he needed. He’d take him deep and fast, and then gentle and slow, worshipping him, making sure Bucky knew just how incredible he was.

He’d mark the omega, combining their scents, so everyone would know that this omega—this perfect, sweet omega—belonged to him, not that it would really matter. Steve couldn’t think of any viable reason they’d have to want to leave their nest. Any moment they weren’t touching would be too much. Bucky would need him, would beg Steve to fuck him again and again, and Steve would turn him into a quivering wreck, delighting as Bucky came again and again…

Steve came again with a low groan, coating his hand, body shuddering. He panted as he came back down before reality set in after a moment.

_Fuck_. This couldn’t be happening. Everything felt too hot. He felt like he was going out of his mind. His thoughts…god, they were so wrong.

He wiped himself clean as he tried to keep his mind clear and tried to understand what was happening.

He’d gone to Bucky’s. He’d had a hit of Bucky’s true scent. He couldn’t believe it was possible…

Alphas were only driven to rut by the scent of an omega in heat. That’s how it was. Everyone knew that. Their normal scent, while a massive turn on, wasn’t supposed to be able to do this. But Steve was certain now, as he choked out a breath and realised he was already getting hard yet again, that he was going into rut.

He’d been pushed into rut just by Bucky’s scent.

****

“It’s really amazing, the clean up they’ve done out there, have you ever been?” Matt was asking.

Bucky was trying to pay attention, but finding it difficult. “Oh yeah? No, I haven’t,” he spoke up, hoping that was enough. Matt was talking about his recent trip over Chinese food on their date. Their date that didn’t involve Steve.

Clint had told him Steve was sick, but Bucky didn’t believe it. He was certain Steve was avoiding him. It made his stomach twist to think that. Maybe Steve was going to quit as his bodyguard, and what then? Bucky would never see him again. It was enough to make him want to cry.

Instead, he was stuck here having dinner with Matt, while some alternate bodyguard called Quill or Quinn or something watched them, and he had to pretend like everything was just fine. Like he wasn’t dying to know what Steve was thinking or if he really was sick and if anyone was taking care of him. Bucky could take such good care of him.

“I’m really glad you’re feeling better,” Matt was saying as Bucky tuned back in.

“Oh, um, yeah me too. Sorry about having to cancel,” Bucky grimaced a little, playing with the straw in his drink.

“It’s fine,” Matt smiled. “You’re worth the wait.” It casually rolled off his tongue and Bucky froze for a moment.

“Um, thanks,” he said, not really knowing what to say. “Did your partner like San Francisco?” he asked quickly, changing the subject back.

Matt was taking a sip of his drink and nodded as he put in down. “Yeah, Foggy loved it. You guys should meet sometime,” he suggested with a wide smile, as though the idea of making future plans made him really happy.

Bucky went back to poking his ice with his straw. “Yeah.”

“Bucky?” Matt spoke up after a moment of silence. “Are you okay?”

Bucky forced himself to look over at Matt and let go of his straw. “I’m sorry.” He really was. “I think I’m not a hundred percent after my flu,” he lied. Well, the flu was a lie. He really did feel like shit, but that was all because of a certain blond alpha.

Matt looked at him with sudden concern in his eyes. “Oh, you poor thing. You should have told me.” He looked at the food that Bucky had picked over. “We should call it a night, get you home.”

Bucky tried his best to look tired and grateful. “Are you sure?” He felt awful about it, but sitting here pretending was horrible.

“Of course,” Matt replied, already signalling to a waiter. “I’m flattered you still made the effort to come out to meet me,” he smiled while they waited.

Bucky tried very hard to keep his face neutral. “Um, the food was really good,” he offered, then frowned as Matt took the check from the waiter and paid it instantly without even checking if Bucky wanted to split it.

They headed outside, replacement Steve following behind, but not seeming all that bothered about watching Matt. Not like Steve would have. Steve always had his eyes on Bucky and was always watching Matt like he’d kill him at any wrong move.

“Let’s try this again next week?” Matt suggested as they reached fake Steve’s car. “When you’re feeling fully better?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Bucky replied, because he had to.

Matt reached out and Bucky barely stopped himself from flinching when he gently tucked a piece of Bucky’s hair behind his ear. “Even sick, you still look beautiful,” he smiled softly.

Bucky felt his heart beating in panic, and swallowed hard.

Matt just smiled wider. “You’re so cute when you blush.” He moved slowly, reaching for a hug.

Bucky forced himself to stay still and allowed it, Matt pressing a light kiss to his cheek as he pulled away. Bucky stood there partly in shock. That was the closest an alpha had come to him since…

“Look after him,” Matt ordered the bored looking bodyguard, while Bucky tried to stay calm. He didn’t like the way Matt said that. Like Bucky was his property or something to be taken care of, like he couldn’t take care of himself.

Imposter Steve nodded and opened the car and Bucky made a hasty retreat.

When he got home, he ran up his steps as Quill drove off, and almost stumbled on a package left on his doorstep. He picked it up and let himself inside, before sitting down on his comfy chair and ripping it open, curiously.

The dispatch notice had a little note from Nat, saying she’d found this for him. He guessed she’d sent it directly to his address, rather than bringing it over, to surprise him.

He turned the book over in his hands to see it was a children’s book— _The Amazing Spider-Man_ —and then his eyes fell on the names at the bottom. Written by Carol Danvers, illustrated by Steven G. Rogers. His heart beat in excitement. This was one of Steve’s books that he’d illustrated! Bucky had been so curious about Steve’s art and had mentioned to Nat about it and she’d found it for him! Once again, he thanked his lucky stars that Nat had come into his life.

He suddenly forgot all about his evening with Matt as he ran his hands over the cover.

He beamed as he looked at the cover art. Steve was really good. Really, really good. Too good to have ever stopped doing this. He turned the page over to find more of his work. He flipped through every page, before starting again and reading it all this time as well. It somehow made him feel close to Steve, that he could see this side of him. It confirmed everything Bucky had thought about him. He wasn’t a typical alpha. No typical alpha could have made something this beautiful.

Bucky settled down, pulling a blanket over himself, tracing his fingers over the lines of Steve’s art, and let out a contented sigh.

He couldn’t let Steve go. Wouldn’t. Not when he was falling in love with him.

****

Steve stood in his shower, letting the hot water soothe his tired body.

Four days. Four goddamn days he’d been in rut. It was the longest he’d ever gone through. He’d had to call off work sick and then had literally locked himself in his room, because every instinct was screaming at him to get to Bucky, every thought laser-focused on the beautiful omega.

He didn’t remember too much of it, rut overtaking his mind as well as his body. He knew at some point he’d tried to get out, seeing as he had a big bruise on his side as though he’d tried to break the door down. Thankfully rut seemed to make him extra stupid, so he hadn’t managed it.

He also knew this wasn’t normal.

This wasn’t a normal thing to happen for an alpha who just happened to like an omega. This sort of thing must only happen where there was true compatibility, on some chemical or unexplainable level. Steve knew what the word was for it, but he couldn’t bring himself to think it.

He blinked back the tears in his eyes as he leant his hands against the wall of his shower for support. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t fair. How could the universe do this to him? How could it make it seem like something was meant to be, when it never _could_ be?

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat.

He had to stop this. He needed to quit. Maybe he should even leave, go somewhere else, have a clean break and just try to forget. It would be better for him and fairer on Bucky.

But even as he thought it, he knew he wasn’t strong enough. He was supposed to be, but he wasn’t. It was selfish and stupid of him, but he was counting the hours until he could see him again—for that moment of seeing Bucky’s eyes light up as they met his own. He was living for the moments he got to see Bucky. He wasn’t sure how he’d go on without them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for for reading, kudosing and commenting, you guys make my day 💜 I hope you liked this chapter.
> 
> I updated the tags slightly also just for info.
> 
> Next chapter is the one you've probably been waiting for. Why Steve thinks they can't be together. It was never supposed to take this long but this is where it naturally ended up when I was writing. I hope it's not a disappointment after the build up! 🤭 It's one of my fave chapters.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's life gets worse and he finally finds out Steve's reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeyBoy and James_writes_for_you totally manipulated me into posting this early 😂 But it's a shorter one so why not. The next one is much longer so might take a wee bit longer to post than normal 🤭

Bucky watched Steve out the corner of his eye as they waited in the queue for the pharmacist. Clint had called to say Steve was back on duty and Bucky had called him almost immediately to take him to get a refill on his suppressants, both because he was down to his last pack and also because he wanted to see Steve. He’d been a little surprised that Steve had agreed. He’d been worried that Steve might do something dumb like stop being his bodyguard, but it seemed that he didn’t intend on doing that.

What he did intend on doing, clearly, was acting like he and Bucky never had that conversation. Or any, in fact. He was stiff and polite, but nothing more. There was none of the friendly chat Bucky had come to love and none of the looks he sometimes noticed Steve gave him. Steve was barely looking at him in fact.

It sucked. But Bucky tried to comfort himself with the idea that Steve would have no reason to be acting this way if he didn’t feel _something_ , so really the big dumb alpha was showing himself up and making it obvious to Bucky that he was finding this hard to deal with, just like Bucky was.

Bucky sighed a little to himself at the stoic look on Steve’s face as they reached the front of the line in silence.

“Hi, I’m just getting this prescription refilled please,” Bucky asked the pharmacist as she greeted him and he handed over the paper.

She smiled and then studied the prescription before her face fell. “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t fill this.”

Bucky felt a little annoyed, but it was no big deal to come back another day. “Oh, when will you be getting it in?”

The women looked a little uncomfortable. “I’m afraid we won’t be getting it in again. They’ve stopped producing these.”

Bucky frowned. “Oh. Is there another type I could get instead?” he asked, trying to stay polite, even though he hated that idea. He got on with these pills. They didn’t give him any weird side effects like a couple of others he’d tried first.

The pharmacist lowered her voice slightly. “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think you understand. All suppressants are no longer being manufactured.”

Bucky felt a trickle of dread run through him. “Anywhere?” he said, voice coming out high-pitched.

“Yes, sir. I’m very sorry.” She handed him back the prescription and gave him a sympathetic look, before nodding for the next customer.

Bucky stood there, shell shocked.

“Buck,” Steve tugged on his arm a little to move him out the way.

Bucky met his eyes, fear running through him now. “We have to call Clint, find out what’s going on.”

“We will,” Steve nodded. “Let’s just get back to your place first.”

Bucky nodded numbly, letting Steve guide him out the store. If he couldn’t have suppressants, he’d have to go through having heats again. He’d only had to do that a few times in his whole life. He hated them. They made him feel like everything he didn’t want to be—like a needy omega, who couldn’t control his base instinct.

They couldn’t have stopped all suppressants. There must have been a manufacturing problem or something that would be sorted out soon? They couldn’t just stop them.

Bucky barely realised they’d made it home and didn’t realise Steve was on the phone until he spoke to him again.

“Buck, I’m sorry,” Steve said, breaking Bucky out of his panicked state to notice him holding a phone in one hand. “Clint says Shield ordered it, effective immediately. Omegas are no longer allowed suppressants.” Steve said it so softly, concern in his eyes.

“What?” Bucky choked out, his voice barely a whisper. “They can’t just do that.”

“They can. It’s not like it used to be anymore,” Steve reminded him gently.

“But there has to be something people can do? There must be people arguing this?” Bucky insisted, before grabbing the phone from Steve’s hand. “Clint? Tell me you’re going to reverse this?”

Clint’s weary voice came down the line. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I…there are people trying their best here, but if it comes from higher up…there’s no real arguing it. I mean, we’ll keep trying, but for now…there’s nothing we can do for now,” he said with a little sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe this,” Bucky breathed out, holding the phone back out to Steve to take, a chill running through him.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded as he put the phone to his ear, glancing worriedly at Bucky. “Okay. I will. I’ll check in later.” He hung up, sliding the phone into his suit pocket.

Bucky paced around his living room in complete dismay. “This is insane.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Steve told him, looking sympathetic, but Bucky couldn’t focus on him for once.

“And you can bet if it was alphas who needed them, they’d be no way they’d take them away!” Bucky continued. “But because it’s omegas, because of how we’re seen, it’s just fine for the government to decide how we live and what they can do with our bodies,” Bucky seethed. “God, this is just…it’s disgusting.” He finally stopped pacing and faced Steve. “I can’t believe you work for these people.”

Steve frowned at him. “Hey, not all of Shield is like that. There are plenty of decent people there, but unfortunately the ones with the power are…not so decent.”

Bucky barked out a laugh. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“Maybe it’ll get challenged and they’ll have to change their minds?” Steve ventured, sounding hopeful. “And until then, I’m sure, um, Matt could help you with your heat?” he added, a little tentatively.

Bucky stopped dead and stared at him. “Are you joking?” Steve couldn’t be serious. He felt a sense of incredulity and then defeat run through him. “I get it, Steve. You don’t want me, fine. But I haven’t even kissed Matt and you think I should just jump into bed with him?”

Steve looked panicked, his eyes widening. “I…I didn’t mean…I just meant…” he stuttered.

“No, I know what you meant,” Bucky argued back, seething now. “You think I couldn’t possibly go through a heat all alone and I need some alpha to get me through? Poor little omega, needs a big alpha cock to satisfy his heat, is that it?”

Steve shook his head wildly. “No. No, I didn’t…no. I didn’t mean that. I just thought…if you didn’t want to be alone…” he trailed off, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him.

Bucky paused, looking at Steve, his anger suddenly gone as quickly as it came. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he moved closer to Steve. “What if I did want that…” he murmured, voice so much softer than just a second before, dying to see what Steve would do. He reached out to rest his hand on Steve’s chest.

Steve let out a little hitched breath that was music to Bucky’s ears.

“What if I want that, but only with you?”

****

Steve felt like he couldn’t move. Bucky’s hand was on his chest, practically burning its way through his shirt with how focused he was on feeling it there, and he couldn’t tear himself away from Bucky’s stormy eyes, so fierce and passionate as they stared at him.

“Buck—” Steve tried, but didn’t get very far.

“I know I’m not what people expect from an omega. I know that,” Bucky told him slowly. “I know I don’t look how I’m supposed to look or act how I’m supposed to act, but I...I could still be a...a good omega for you.” He looked vulnerable and so, so brave to Steve as he stood there, eyes refusing to look away.

Steve inhaled, trying to keep his head clear while Bucky basically laid his soul bare. “Bucky, stop,” he tried.

“I promise,” Bucky continued. “You just have to give this a chance and I can show you. I can cook and take care of you and I’m...I’m a...” His voice dropped quieter. “I haven’t…I’ve never had sex before. I can give you that, something no one else has had.”

 _Oh Jesus_. He wished it didn’t, but his alpha brain reacted strongly to that. He loved that. The idea that he could be Bucky’s first...only. That Bucky would give himself to him, that he would choose him and trust Steve with that gift. That he could be the first, the only, to make Bucky moan in pleasure...

“Bucky,” he said more firmly and sharply, stopping Bucky continuing. He had to stop this now. “None of that matters to me. I’m not looking for the world’s idea of a perfect omega. I don’t want someone to slave away for me and submit to me. That might be most alphas but it isn’t me.” He paused for a moment and lifted his hands to hold Bucky gently by the shoulders.

Bucky stiffened slightly under his touch, eyes wide as Steve looked into them.

“This has nothing to do with you, I promise you that.” Of course it didn’t. Steve didn’t know how Bucky could even think that for one second—to think that he wasn’t good enough. “You’re perfect,” Steve told him again. “You’re everything anyone in their right mind could want.” He couldn’t help himself as he moved a hand to cup Bucky’s cheek, and the omega leaned into the touch a little. He was in dangerous territory, but he had to stay strong. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, because he’d gone too far already and Bucky had to know that. Steve hated that he didn’t think that.

Bucky swallowed, looking at him with somewhat desperate eyes. “You really think I’m beautiful?” he asked, the words no more than a whisper.

Steve stroked his hand back from Bucky’s cheek into his hair a little. “You’re gorgeous,” he said with a little exhale. God, it felt so good to have his hands on Bucky’s skin and in his hair finally. He’d dreamt about that far too much. So he let himself have it, just once. Just one time before never again.

“Then why?” Bucky asked, his hand coming up to rest over Steve’s on his face, fingers holding him tightly, like he knew Steve was about to move away.

Steve looked at him sadly, feeling like his heart was breaking, which it in fact was, or maybe had been ever since that front door had first opened and his world had turned upside down. “You need to be with someone who can give you everything you want.”

Bucky frowned at him. “You _are_ everything I want.” He said it with such conviction, it made Steve’s heart clench even more.

Steve pulled away, moving back. It was maybe the hardest thing he’d ever done—to let go.

Bucky tried to reach out for him. “Please, just tell me,” he pleaded so empathically that Steve knew he had to. “I want to know why. A real actual reason why we can’t be together,” he demanded, so far from a weak, submissive omega that Steve loved him even more for it.

Steve took a breath. He never wanted to tell him this. Never wanted to tell anyone. He hesitated, trying to work up the courage. He’d held onto this for so long, he didn’t even know how to let the shameful words out. “I’m not allowed to be with you,” he started slowly, finally admitting it.

“Because of your job?” Bucky frowned, looking annoyed. “So just stop being my bodyguard. Problem solved.”

“No, Bucky,” Steve shook his head. He swallowed. He had to tell him. They couldn’t keep on like this. He knew he’d been fooling himself, thinking he could be around the omega, pretending like it wouldn’t kill him. But it was still so hard to say the words. He was so ashamed, so scared, almost terrified to tell him. But he had to. Bucky deserved the truth, no matter how ashamed of it Steve was.

He faced Bucky head on, meeting his eyes again. “I…Bucky, I can’t have pups,” he finally let it out quickly, letting go of the secret he carried around with him. He was hardly an alpha at all. He couldn’t do the one thing that was he was supposed to—the thing alphas were supposed to. He was the broken one here, not Bucky.

He took another deep breath, taking in Bucky’s shocked face, trying to not let the look hurt him. He knew Bucky would be appalled by him, he shouldn’t be surprised. “Shield won’t let me be with an omega because of it, and you...” He sighed and gestured to Bucky. “…You want pups. And I can never give you them. So you have to stop thinking about us.” He didn’t know why he said that. Of course Bucky would stop thinking about him—about them—now he knew.

Bucky was silent for a few moments. Steve let himself gaze at the omega, knowing it was probably the last time he’d see him. Bucky would want him gone, he had no doubt. So Steve let himself memorise his face, from his wide storm-blue eyes, to that perfect curve of his plush lower lip, to the little dimple in his chin. God, he would miss that face. He would miss talking to him and discovering all the little things that made Bucky _Bucky_. He tried to swallow down the tears threatening to escape.

“You...” Bucky was frowning at him when he finally spoke. “Why do you think that?”

“Think what?” Steve asked, surprised by the question where he’d expected disgust or at the very least, pity.

“That I want pups?” Bucky asked, voice quiet and measured.

Steve frowned, confused. “You’re an omega,” he replied simply, not really understanding the question.

Bucky let out a sardonic huff. “Oh, right. Cause all omegas want pups, no exceptions?” He huffed again.

Steve blinked at him in surprise. Bucky sounded angry. “I...” Steve stuttered. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. He hadn’t been prepared for this at all.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Steve felt that like Bucky had hit him. He reeled in shock. “What?”

Bucky glared at him. “I said get out. I thought you were different but apparently I was wrong.”

Steve shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t understand what was making Bucky so mad. “Bucky, no, I—”

“You think that’s all I am, that I’m an omega so all I do is sit around all day, dreaming of having pups? Is that it?” he almost yelled at Steve.

Steve faltered. He didn’t quite think that, but he assumed Bucky would want pups someday. He’d never in his life met an omega who didn’t. It was instinct for them. Omegas who couldn’t have pups were known to have to sometimes be sectioned, having full mental breakdowns, or at least that was what he’d learnt at Shield. “I...” Steve couldn’t get any words out.

“That’s all I’m good for, huh? Breeding?” Bucky continued to yell at him.

“Are...are you saying you don’t want pups?” Steve heard himself ask.

Bucky huffed at him again. “I’m saying get out of my house.”

“We...maybe we should talk about this?” Steve tried. If Bucky didn’t want pups...Shield wouldn’t like that. Bucky might be in danger. If he bonded with Matt, they might force him to bear his pups. Steve didn’t know how far Shield might go, not anymore.

“I have nothing left to say to you. You’re just like all the others.” Bucky suddenly sounded sad and defeated instead of angry.

“No, Bucky,” Steve shook his head desperately as Bucky moved away from him. “I’m sorry. I...I just never thought...I assumed. I shouldn’t have assumed.” His whole life he’d been told these things—he’d never stopped to consider they might not be true.

Bucky strode to the front door, yanking it open. “Yeah, you shouldn’t have. Now please go away,” he said flatly.

Steve felt like he was crumbling. But the omega wanted him out and he had to respect that. He couldn’t force his presence where it wasn’t wanted. He refused to be that sort of alpha.

He forced himself to walk to the door. “Please, Buck,” he tried one more time, trying to look into Bucky’s eyes, but Bucky looked away.

He made himself step outside and before he could say anything more, Bucky closed the door in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeek, let me know what you think?! Did you guess it? If you did well done, it was hinted at in chapter two also 😁 
> 
> To clarify, just in case, Steve really isn't being a dick here, society is just really engrained in him in some ways even though in most ways he doesn't act like a "normal" alpha.
> 
> Up next, big chapter, very exciting omg.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to make amends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor warnings for very brief suicidal ideation and description of sexual assault.
> 
> That said, the rest of it is pretty sweet. Enjoy the giant chapter.

“More cupcakes?” Nat asked, raising an eyebrow at Bucky as she stepped into his kitchen the next day.

“People like cupcakes,” Bucky grumbled, ignoring her look.

“Yeah, but you don’t. What happened?” she asked, looking sympathetic but like she wouldn’t take any nonsense from him.

Bucky narrowed his eyes as he started packing up the remaining cupcakes that he had been finishing off before Nat arrived. “Steve,” he uttered, as he made sure each cake was secure in the box so they wouldn’t get squished.

“Steve,” Nat repeated back flatly, copying his tone.

“Turns out he’s an ass, okay? So I’m pissed off.” He jammed the lid onto the box, a little more harshly than necessary.

“What did he do?” Nat asked. The protective look on her face made Bucky smile just a little. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “Not physically,” he huffed a little. “I just…I thought he was different. Like really different from other alphas, but he’s not. He’s just like them.”

“Like how?” Nat pushed, never insulted by Bucky’s disdain for alphas, knowing he didn’t group her in with them.

Bucky sighed a little. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He didn’t feel like he’d really gotten to grips with it himself. He could understand why Steve hadn’t wanted to tell him. Sterility in alphas was really rare and Bucky could clearly see how much internalised shame Steve had about that and it made Bucky feel heartbroken for him. He wished he’d known this weeks ago though. It would have made things so much clearer for him and so much easier for them both. Because he could have told Steve how it didn’t matter to him, how it didn’t make Steve any less of an alpha, how Steve was still everything to him and that it was in fact almost even more perfect because the truth was Bucky didn’t want pups anyway, but no. Stupid alpha Steve had to turn out to be just like all the others who judged Bucky based on his designation and thought they knew who he was, what he should be and what he should want because of it. He didn’t think he’d ever felt such disappointment with a person.

Nat shrugged. “Fine. If he comes into the bakery, should I throw him out? He’s pretty big, but I’m damn fast,” she mused.

Bucky looked up and let out a frustrated breath. “No,” he sighed. “You don’t have to kick him out.”

Nat looked at him, studying him intensely for a moment. “If I don’t have to kick him out, then surely that means whatever he did isn’t all that bad?” she proposed.

Bucky stopped boxing up and glared at her. “I’m not overreacting.”

“I didn’t say you were,” she said, holding up her hands. “I’m just saying, maybe once you cool off, maybe you’ll have some more perspective on the situation.”

“I don’t want perspective. I want Steve and Clint and all of Shield to just leave me the hell alone!” he almost yelled back, feeling like he was hitting breaking point, before tugging his fingers through his hair in annoyance.

“Whoa, whoa, hey, Bucky,” Nat soothed softly, approaching him. “I’m sorry. I know everything is really bad right now and I know you’re angry, and you should be. I’m angry too.” She rested her hands on his shoulders.

Bucky looked at her and crumpled. “They took my suppressants,” he mumbled, Nat pulling him in so he could bury his head on her shoulder. It wasn’t just Steve, it was everything. Everything was horrible and awful and Bucky couldn’t see a way out of it. He’d been living in denial for almost two months, he realised, thinking that he could just turn down the alphas and Shield would eventually give up. Because deep down he knew they wouldn’t. Deep down he knew he was running out of time. Deep down he knew he was out of options.

Nat rubbed her hand down his back. “I know, I know,” she murmured back. She did know. Bucky had called her in a rage yesterday about it. “It’s bullshit and it’s unfair. Everything is unfair for you and other omegas right now, and I hate it, I do.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. “Everything’s screwed up and you’re taking the worst of it. I wish there was something I could do.” She petted down the side of his face, probably trying to make her alpha scent soothe him.

It did work a little. But not enough. “Nat, I think…I don’t think I want to be here anymore,” Bucky admitted tearfully, voice shaking.

Nat instantly looked even more concerned and she grabbed his face with both hands. “No,” she told him firmly. “No, okay? I know everything is hard, but you can’t think that way. You know how bad it is when we think that way.” Her eyes burnt into his.

Bucky trembled a little before he nodded at her. “Okay,” he said softly, voice as shaky as he felt now. “I’m sorry. I know. I know we don’t do that anymore.”

“That’s right,” Nat nodded firmly at him. “We’re stronger than anyone knows, remember?”

Bucky nodded back. It was something she told him time and time again, back when they first met. Bucky had cried to her about how weak he felt, but Nat had turned it around. He was strong, because he was still here. He’d faced more than most and he was still here. “We’re still here,” he choked out.

Nat nodded in recognition, a gentle smile on her face. “Yes, we are.” She pulled Bucky into another tight hug. “We’re going to get through this. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Bucky smiled at her softly as they broke apart, so grateful to have her in his life—that he at least had this one person who truly cared. “I think I love Steve,” he admitted, his heart feeling a little broken as he said it.

Nat smiled sadly, letting out a little breath. “I think you do too,” she replied, eyes kind but slightly amused, like she already knew that.

“I think I should talk to him,” Bucky realised. “I just…I got so mad.”

“Are you sure he’s worth it?” Nat queried, concern on her face again.

 _Was Steve worth it?_ Bucky didn’t have to think for long. He could only come to the conclusion that Steve was, even with the shit he’d said yesterday. Worth a chance at least. He had tried to apologise, after all. Bucky nodded.

“Then you talk to him. When you’re ready, not before.” Nat reached out and squeezed his hand. “Do you want me to stay?” she offered.

Bucky wiped at his face and shook his head. “Nah, you’ve gotta go sell these amazing cupcakes for me,” he tried to grin, looking at the hydrangea flower icing that was frankly stunning, if he did say so himself.

Nat smiled back. “I could come back later though? Stay overnight? Sam won’t mind.”

Bucky felt a little bit brighter. “Yeah?” Nat was so busy with the bakery, trying to keep it successful, they hardly got to spend time together, apart from when Nat picked up his cakes. Bucky completely understood that, as anyone having a reasonably successful business these days was rare, plus of course she wanted to spend her limited free time with Sam, but it would be so nice to have her over so he wouldn’t be alone for once.

“Of course. Anything, anytime, anyplace, Bucky Barnes, you know that.”

Bucky hugged her again. “You’re the best person in existence.”

“I know,” she deadpanned. They moved apart and Nat gathered up the boxes. “You keep breathing, alright. Stay calm and call me if you need me,” she told him firmly, the words an order.

“I will,” Bucky promised as he walked her to the door, and he meant it. He could do that. He could hold himself together like he had been for so long. He was stronger than anyone knew.

****

Steve hated himself. He hated everything about himself, from his stupid big mouth, to his tiny dumb brain and his stupid broken body. He couldn’t stop thinking about how angry Bucky had been. And he’d been right to be. Steve had been an idiot. How could he have just assumed that Bucky wanted pups. How could he have just dumped Bucky in with his designation, as though everyone was the same just because of that. He wasn’t the same as so many alphas, whose only thought seemed to be when they could next knot someone, and yet he’d made Bucky feel like he only saw him as an omega and nothing else.

Bucky should have punched him. Steve should have made him punch him. He deserved it.

And now Bucky wouldn’t talk to him. He’d called and left messages but Bucky didn’t pick up or reply. And then Steve had realised he was doing just what he didn’t want to do and wasn’t respecting Bucky’s wishes and he had to stop. He hated it but he did. Bucky would probably never speak to him again, but if that was what Bucky wanted, then Steve would have to live with that. He didn’t know how he would though. Two nights had already passed where he hadn’t been able to sleep. He just wished he could show Bucky how sorry he was, even if it didn’t change anything between them. He just wanted Bucky to know that he saw him for all that he was.

An idea came to him so quickly and he was suddenly so sure of it being a good idea that he ran out the house without his wallet, only to have to drive three blocks back when he realised, in his haste to get to the store.

He spent the next seven hours trying to make Bucky a cake. Lemon drizzle, because that was Bucky’s favourite.

Steve had never baked anything in his life. The first attempt was awful and he had to throw it out when he realised he misinterpreted teaspoons for tablespoons, resulting in a truly gross, extra salty cake. The second attempt, he was extra careful to read the recipe correctly, but then he kept checking on the cake and by the time it was done, he’d somehow ended up sucking all the air out of it and it resembled more a flat dry blob than a cake.

The third attempt worked out better. He stayed patient and waited, and apart from being a bit lopsided, the cake looked cake-like and risen and Steve felt very proud of himself as he took it out the oven and his whole kitchen started smelling like sweet lemons.

Trying to decorate was even harder. It turned out it was nothing like illustration and having an artistic eye didn’t really help him much. He wasn’t very good at piping the icing, but eventually he thought it looked okay. It would never be like Bucky’s work, but he’d done his best. He just hoped Bucky would see that and would understand everything he was trying to say. He had to try and make it right.

****

Steve stood at Bucky’s front door, plate in hand. He hadn’t had any boxes big enough for the cake, so he’d had to place it on his nicest plate and cover it over with aluminium foil, making sure the foil didn’t touch the icing. He’d walked over instead of driving because he’d been too concerned about the cake somehow being jolted on the ride over, so he figured carrying it was better.

But now he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to leave it on Bucky’s front step, especially as it was getting dark now and he didn’t know when Bucky would see it, but he didn’t want to invade Bucky’s territory again, having been so firmly turned away. So he stood there dithering, trying to decide what was best, and was just considering knocking and running away, leaving the cake there, when the door suddenly opened.

“Bucky!” Steve jumped in surprise, just managing to keep his grip on the plate in his hands.

Bucky frowned at him, but he still looked like the most beautiful person Steve had ever seen. “You’ve been standing out here for like ten minutes, Steve,” Bucky said with a small sigh. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve replied instantly, feeling guilty. “I didn’t want to bother you, I know you told me to go away, but I just…” He lifted his hands a little. “I brought you something.” He suddenly felt very nervous that Bucky might simply throw the plate back at him if he took it.

Bucky was frowning at it now, instead of Steve, apparently still confused.

“I was just going to leave it,” Steve explained further. “You don’t have to invite me in or talk to me, but I’d really like for you to have this,” he said, feeling hopeful, holding his hands out to Bucky.

Bucky reached out and took the plate from him and gave him a suspicious look. “What is it?”

“It’s, um, a cake?” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling like maybe his great idea was actually a stupid one. “I baked it for you, I just…I wanted you to know how sorry I am. And I really am, truly. I never meant to say such a hurtful thing and I’m sorry for how I made you feel.”

“You made me a cake?” Bucky uttered back at him, looking a little astonished.

“Um, yeah?” Steve grimaced a little, feeling like an idiot.

Bucky made a little perplexed face and then turned around, taking himself and the cake back into his house.

Steve stood there for a moment, before deciding that the door being left open could maybe mean he was allowed to come in, so he tentatively stepped inside, closing the door gently for safety. “Um, Buck, is this okay?” he asked as he found Bucky a few steps away, putting the cake down on his dining table and unwrapping the foil.

Bucky didn’t reply as he moved the foil away and looked at what was underneath. He studied it for a moment before his eyes seemed to soften, Steve thought, and then a little smile played on his lips and Steve’s heart leapt.

He turned his head to look at Steve. “You made me this?” he asked with a curious face.

Steve nodded. “I know it’s not great,” he mumbled, a little embarrassed, “but it’s your favourite and I wanted…I just wanted to try to show you…” He trailed off. Bucky’s cakes were magnificent works of art and he’d just presented Bucky with a cake that probably looked like someone drunk decorated it after someone sat on it.

“I get it,” Bucky replied softly. “It’s really pretty,” he added with a small smile, and Steve’s heart burst into a ray of sunshine, until Bucky’s smile left his face and he sighed.

“I…I don’t like people deciding for me what I do or don’t want, Steve,” Bucky started, in a calm way, but with a warning tone behind it.

Bucky met his eyes and Steve felt himself break at the hurt there. At the hurt he’d put there.

“Do you get that?” Bucky continued, eyebrows raising. “I’m not just an omega. I’m a person.” His voice was sad now and his eyes looked lost as he looked away. “I...I like baking and reading and I can be single-minded and I...I like dogs and cats equally and I watch the same movies over and over, and I like when other people brush my hair. I hate bananas and seafood, and I’m passionate, and I...I want to go outside without being scared.” He looked back at Steve, locking him in with those big eyes of his. “I’m all those things and so many more over being an omega. But that’s all anyone sees. That’s all I am to them, and that’s what I thought I wasn’t to you,” he finished.

Steve opened his mouth to speak but Bucky stopped him, raising his hand.

“Do you know what happened to me?” he asked, almost demanded, eyes suddenly fierce.

Steve shook his head, closing his mouth.

Bucky smiled bitterly, looking away again. “I was in the bakery,” he started, taking a breath, before continuing. “Working late, trying to perfect a recipe. Told Nat I would close up. I’d done that loads of times before and it had always been fine,” he said, letting out a little huff of annoyance. “It was just me there when an alpha came in just before I was going to lock the door.”

Bucky paused, looking lost in thought and Steve could see the bitterness in his eyes now. “I told him we were closed but offered something to take out. He asked for my number instead.” Bucky huffed in disgust. “I tried to play it off, offered him coffee to go instead, but he was...aggressive. He didn’t want me to say no. I don’t think he thought I had any right to.” Bucky stared off somewhere in the middle distance as he continued, eyes a little glazed, like he was back there now.

“I tried to get him to leave but then it all happened so fast. He got behind the counter and shoved me against the wall. I...I’m not weak, but he was so big and so fucking strong. He pinned me there with a hand round my throat, telling me to shut up and that this was all I was good for. That omegas were just toys for alphas to fuck however and whenever they wanted to. He went for his belt and I knew...I knew what he was going to do.” Bucky cut off for a moment, taking a choked breath, his eyes glassy.

Steve was standing there with barely contained rage pouring through him, desperately wanting to comfort Bucky but he couldn’t. He knew it was important that Bucky was telling him his story. He just had to listen as his stomach twisted like he might throw up.

“He pushed me to the floor. Told me that’s where omegas should be—on their knees. Then he wrapped his hand round my head and shoved himself into my mouth.”

Steve was going to vomit. “Buck,” he whispered in horror, but Bucky didn’t look at him and just shook his head minutely, so Steve didn’t speak again.

“I don’t know what I thought in that moment. I guess that I’d rather die? Cause I had no doubt he would kill me. But I bit him. Hard. He screamed and I ran. He was blocking the way out, so I ran to the back and I got to the staff bathroom just in time. I locked it and he banged and banged on the door, screaming that he would kill me, that he would fuck me to death when he got in there.” Bucky paused and swallowed. “That lock seemed so flimsy, I was so scared. And there’s no window in there so I was trapped. All I had was a mop and some other cleaning stuff we keep back there. So I broke off the end of it and sat leaning against the door, trying to hold him off.” He met Steve’s gaze again, eyes filled with traumatic memories. “I figured when he got in, I would jab the jagged end into him as hard as I could.” Bucky let out a breath, pulling his eyes away again. “He thumped and screamed at that door and the door shook and jolted against my back for what seemed liked hours. Maybe it was. Eventually it stopped. I sat there all night, shaking with that stick in my hands, scared he was still out there or was going to come back with some friends and get in. Nat eventually found me in the morning.”

Steve stood there shaking, tears on his face. He wanted to find that bastard and rip him limb from limb. He could do it too, he knew he could, without hesitation, literally kill him with his bare hands.

“That was the most terrifying night of my life,” Bucky continued. “But you know, it didn’t even surprise me that much,” he said, meeting Steve’s eyes. “Nothing quite like that had ever happened, but all my life I’ve heard the same. That I’m only good for one thing, that omegas are just there for alphas to enjoy, that I’m just a slick hole to fuck, that I should find a mate and give them pups. That what I want doesn’t matter.” His eyes burned into Steve’s now. “I don’t want pups. I never have. I wouldn’t want to bring someone into this world even if I did. So don’t tell me you know what I want just because of my designation. Because you don’t know anything.”

It was the most impassioned speech Steve had ever heard in his life. He gazed at the brilliant man in front of him, full of admiration and amazement. “You’re right. You’re so right and I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Bucky, for what I said. I’m so sorry and so angry that that happened to you. Did they find him?” Steve suddenly needed to know. If they didn’t...

Bucky huffed derisively. “Of course they didn’t. You think the police cared that an omega got a little ‘roughed up’?” he said, making air quotes.

“I’ll find him, I swear to god,” Steve growled.

Bucky looked somewhat amused at Steve’s outburst. “He’s dead,” he said bluntly. “Saw his picture in the paper three months ago. Was driving too fast and killed himself and two other people.”

Steve let out a hiss. “He deserved worse.”

Bucky half smiled at him but it was a bitter smile. “You know, they wrote this whole thing about what a nice guy he was. Upstanding member of society and all that.” He let out a harsh laugh. “And you wonder why I don’t trust alphas.”

Steve let out a breath, feeling a little choked up. Bucky had been close to trusting him and he’d ruined it. He looked at Bucky sadly, feeling worse than he’d ever felt. “I’m sorry for what I said, I really am.”

He slid to his knees in front of Bucky, completely submissive, baring his throat, in a move most alphas would never do, Bucky looking at him with shock as he did so. “I swear I don’t see you like that. I swear it.” He swallowed and finally let go of everything he’d been holding inside. “I see the man who loves baking with his whole soul, who’s sometimes shy but always brave, who lost everything but is so strong that he rebuilt his whole world. I see the man who has no idea of how gorgeous he is and whose laugh lights up my whole world, and who stares at every dog we pass on the street like he’s never seen a dog before and pets every cat he comes across. And he’s caring and kind, because that’s who he is, even after everything he’s been through, and the world doesn’t deserve him.” Steve paused and looked at Bucky tenderly. “I see all the parts of you that you bravely let me in to see. I see the man that I’ve completely fallen in love with.”

Bucky kept staring at him in shock, almost as though he’d stopped breathing. “You...what?” he finally managed.

Steve couldn’t stop himself reaching out and taking Bucky’s hand between his when Bucky didn’t back away. “I love you. I’m in love with you. Not because you’re an omega and you smell like actual heaven,”—Bucky choked out a surprised laugh at that—“but because you’re you.”

Bucky’s face went from looking happy to looking concerned to looking scared all in one go. “Are you serious?”

Steve nodded, hating that Bucky could ever think he’d be anything but.

Bucky tugged on his hand a little. “Come up here,” he requested softly, and Steve stumbled to his feet, Bucky letting go of his hand, Steve instantly missing it. “Steve…what about…what about pups?” he asked softly, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“I…I can’t have them,” Steve stuttered, unsure of the question. Maybe Bucky didn’t believe him?

“No,” Bucky said softly still, “I mean, do you want them?”

That made Steve pause for a moment. It wasn’t something he’d ever really considered, seeing as he couldn’t have them anyway, it seemed like a moot point. He’d pushed down thoughts of it altogether. There was the urge there that sometimes popped up, to want that, to see an omega carrying his pups, to satisfy his hindbrain that way, but if he stopped to think…Bucky was right. Maybe before…but now…now the world was so screwed up it seemed like no place for a child. He knew there were other options, like adoption, but he’d always felt like barely an alpha, he’d never considered that he’d been worthy enough to be allowed to even adopt, even though alphas wanting to adopt were extremely rare.

“I…there are things I want more,” he realised. The abstract concept of adoption sounded nice, but Steve knew it could never be more important to him than Bucky was.

Bucky studied him like he was trying to see inside. “You know that it doesn’t make me think any differently about you, right?” he asked gently.

Steve’s heart almost beat out of his chest at the sincerity in Bucky’s eyes. He’d never expected kindness or understanding like that from anyone. “But I’m…broken,” Steve almost choked out the last word.

Bucky sighed and moved a little closer. “Steve. Am I broken because I don’t want pups? That I go against what’s supposed to be my instinct? That I’ve never even felt that instinct?”

Steve shook his head furiously. “Of course not. It’s just who you are, and you’re perfect the way you are.”

Bucky huffed in amusement at that and rolled his eyes a little. “Right. Just like me not wanting pups doesn’t make me broken, neither does you not being able to have them. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy or aren’t alpha enough or whatever else you’ve been telling yourself. You’re the best fucking alpha I’ve ever met,” he added, with a soft little smile.

Steve’s heart clenched at the words coming out of Bucky’s mouth. It seemed so simple to say, and was somehow so easy to believe, but yet, Steve had never heard that before. He’d never considered that maybe it just didn’t matter. That maybe it was just something, just one thing about him but didn’t have to define him. “I…how are you even real?” he wondered out loud.

Bucky chuckled and went a little red. “I’m real. Been here this whole time,” he said, an inquisitive smile on his face.

“I wish I’d met you before.” It would have been so much easier if he’d known Bucky before the snap. Everything was different back then.

“I’m here right now,” Bucky replied, with an expectant look on his face. “We can be together now,” he added softly.

“Shield...they won’t allow it.” Shield would never let him be with an omega, because they knew he was sterile. They, and now Bucky, were the only people who did. They saw him being with an omega as a waste of resources, because he’d never be able to breed the omega, therefore never increasing the population.

“So we don’t tell them,” Bucky replied, eyes suddenly fierce.

Steve hesitated, heart suddenly beating ten times faster. “You...you really want this?” It hadn’t really occurred to him that Bucky might forgive him, let alone still want him. He dreamed it, but hearing the words…it didn’t seem like it could possibly be true.

“Yes,” Bucky replied fiercely, as though trying to leave no room for Steve to argue. “I don’t give a damn what the government wants me to do. They don’t get to decide this.”

Steve frowned, protective instincts going wild. “If they find out—”

“They won’t.”

Steve let out a worried sigh. “Bucky…”

“I thought alphas were supposed to be brave,” Bucky challenged him, chin up, eyes defiant.

“I thought omegas were supposed to do as their alpha tells them,” Steve replied with a grin before instantly worrying that that was an awful thing to say, and then realising he’d just called himself Bucky’s alpha, which was hugely presumptuous of him, but Bucky just laughed.

“Not this omega,” he said with a smug smile.

Steve smiled softly at him, gazing at him with adoration, and his hand reached out on its own to caress down Bucky’s cheek. “No, not this omega.”

“Is that a yes?” Bucky asked, pressing his face against Steve’s hand.

God help him, it was. “Yes.” He finally gave in to what he’d been wanting for what felt like years.

Bucky’s face was the best thing Steve had ever seen in that moment. He looked like pure relief went across his face, like something he’d been keeping pent up could finally be let out.

Bucky’s hand tentatively moved onto Steve’s face, mirroring his touch, and Steve let out his own sign of relief, shutting his eyes for a moment.

“I…I thought you didn’t…” Bucky murmured. “I didn’t know if you…”

“From the first second I saw you,” Steve murmured back, resting his forehead down to meet Bucky’s, a torrent of emotion running through him. This was really happening. Bucky’s hand was touching his face.

He opened his eyes to find wide ice-blue eyes staring back at him.

“Steve,” Bucky whispered. “I...I want to smell you...your real scent.”

Steve could feel himself turning red. He was diligent about applying scent blocker. Scents could tell you everything about someone. Steve kept that all private. But Bucky wanted...He nodded.

Bucky smiled and moved away, Steve missing his touch straight away, but then he returned with wet wipes in his hand.

Steve took them, feeling a little like he was about to strip naked in front of Bucky, and then he wiped over his scent glands on his neck and then on his wrists. That would be enough.

It took a few moments for his scent to come through. Bucky was standing close, watching him. “Can I?” he asked, eyes looking longing, and Steve nodded, nerves running through him. He lifted his hand to Bucky, holding it out with his wrist up.

Bucky glanced at him for a moment and then pressed his nose against Steve’s wrist.

Steve watched as Bucky’s eyes rolled back a little and he let out a curse and then the best sound Steve had ever heard—a tiny little purr.

“S-Steve,” Bucky sputtered out, before he released Steve’s wrist and then very boldly buried his face into Steve’s neck, one hand on the other side of his neck, the other fisting his shirt as he whimpered against him, the noises and touches going straight to Steve’s crotch.

Bucky kept nuzzling against him and it was then that Steve noticed a scent of his own—something sweet and rich, something like Bucky’s scent but not quite, and then Bucky wriggled a little against him and he knew. “Oh god, oh fuck,” Steve breathed out at the realisation that Bucky was getting slick for him.

Bucky seemed to have lost himself, clinging to Steve, whining lightly, starting to lick along the divot above Steve’s collarbone.

Steve moaned in appreciation before he realised...he had yet to even kiss Bucky. This was all wrong. This wasn’t what Bucky deserved. Bucky deserved to be treated like a prince, to be courted and wined and dined and swept off his damn feet.

With the greatest effort of his life, Steve pulled away, taking Bucky’s hand away from him and moving him back, but keeping hold of it.

Bucky whined and blinked, looking up at Steve. “Wh...what’s wrong?” he murmured, sounding a little out of it.

“We have to do this right, Buck,” Steve told him. “I want you to know how special you are to me.”

Bucky frowned at him. “But...but god, you smell so good,” he complained.

“Believe me, so do you.”

Bucky preened at him, probably involuntarily.

Steve adored him. “You know how many nights I’ve dreamt of you?”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “Kiss me,” he requested, voice full of longing. “Please.”

 _Fuck_. Bucky might not want to be a typical omega and in most ways wasn’t, but that plea was every bit the submissive omega longing for his alpha.

Steve choked the thoughts down. He tugged on Bucky’s hands to pull him closer again, Bucky’s eyes wide with anticipation as he looked up at Steve.

He could feel Bucky’s heart beating fast as their chests pressed against each other. He brushed his fingers over Bucky’s jaw and then over his plush lips. God, Steve had spent too long dreaming, fantasising, about those lips. They were so soft to touch and then Bucky pressed a gentle kiss against his fingers, the sweetest smile appearing on his face.

Steve moved his fingers back to lightly hold Bucky’s jaw and then drew him in closer, leaning down, whole body tingling with anticipation, still unable to really believe this was happening, until finally, _finally_ their lips met.

It was like fire. That was the only way Steve could describe it. It was flame hissing down a line until it reached the bomb at the end and everything detonated.

Bucky’s mouth was made for his. He tasted so sweet, keened so softly, and in only a moment Steve had lost control of himself. He pressed Bucky back into the nearest wall instinctively, hands on his face, body pressed so it seemed like every inch was touching a part of Bucky.

A second later, he gripped Bucky’s thighs and hauled him up, evening up the height difference, Bucky wrapping his legs around him, hands gripping onto the hair at the base of Steve’s skull, tantalisingly pulling at all the nerve endings there.

He kissed Bucky like he would never stop. A pleased grumble came out of him at the scent of more of Bucky’s slick. It was intoxicating. He started tugging at Bucky’s shirt, sliding his hand underneath to revel in the soft, warm skin underneath, and then Bucky let out a small little squeak of ticklishness and it was enough to bring Steve back to himself.

He pulled back to see Bucky in his arms, panting and wide-eyed. Steve let go of him and let Bucky’s legs slide back to the ground. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, trying desperately to keep his head clear, while every part of him screamed at him to pull those clothes right off him so he could lick every inch of him.

Bucky looked confused and moved back in to nuzzle at his neck. “Why? I want this,” he murmured against him before licking Steve’s skin, practically giving him palpitations.

Steve moved him away as gently as he could and backed away, trying to keep control of himself. “No, I meant it when I said I want to do this right. I don’t want to rush.” It went against every instinct he had, but Bucky deserved it. He deserved everything.

“But what does that mean?” Bucky complained, looking frustrated.

“It means that I want to take you to dinner,” Steve grinned.

Bucky frowned at him and yet somehow looked a little happy too. “But what if Shield finds out?”

“It’s entirely part of my job to get you out the house and keep you fed,” Steve smiled. He already knew he wanted to take Bucky to this great Italian place near his house. It was tiny and romantic, but Steve had only ever been there by himself.

“So that’s what we’re doing? We’re just dating in plain sight?” Bucky looked worried. “What about Matt and me getting a mate?”

Steve forced down the growl that wanted to come out at the mere mention of Matt’s name. “If you really want this...we have to play along. I don’t know if Shield would choose someone for you if it seemed like you weren’t complying,” he admitted. He remembered a time when he used to trust Shield and would never believe they would do that, but now…now he wasn’t sure.

Bucky looked a little frightened. “Then why can’t you just mate me now?”

Steve sucked in a breath and gazed at him in shock and awe, his heart pounding in amazement. “You…you’d want that?”

“If we mate, they’ll be nothing they can do. The bond is sacred. Clint said they still hold to that if nothing else, right?” Bucky asked with wide, determined eyes.

Steve nodded. The only thing Shield wouldn’t get involved in was bonds. Breaking a bond was seen as the worst crime in society. Even Shield wouldn’t do that. But he didn’t want Bucky to feel like he had to do that, like he had to choose Steve right now to be safe. “You deserve more than that though. I don’t want us to rush a bond because of our circumstances. It’s forever. I can’t let you rush into it because of Shield.” _No matter how much I want to_ , he didn’t say out loud. The thought of Bucky being his forever…it was a thought that could bring him to his knees.

“But what if Shield finds out and tries to take you away from me?” Bucky argued, a little bit of fear on his face again.

Steve leant in and kissed Bucky on the forehead. “They won’t. I promise. We’ll be careful.”

Bucky still looked concerned but nodded a little shakily. “Okay. If it’s what you think is best…” he gave in. “But just know…I want this,” he added, voice stronger now.

Steve filled with pride. This perfect omega wanted him to be his alpha. _Him_. “I want this too, Buck. You have no idea.” He leant in and held Bucky, pressing his nose to his scent gland, and hummed happily as Bucky did the same. That sweet hint was there, underneath the scent blocker Bucky was wearing. Steve considered asking him to wipe his off too, but he was pretty sure his already shaky self-control would go out the window.

“Okay, you need to stop that if you want to go slow,” Bucky whined, though still keeping his face tucked against Steve’s neck.

Steve grinned, happiness overtaking the heat he was still feeling. “Should I put scent blocker back on?”

Bucky pulled back, shaking his head firmly. “No, I like it. I just...if you’re not going to kiss me, then just at least stay? For a while?”

Steve’s heart melted at that look. “I didn’t say anything about no kisses,” he grinned. “And of course I’ll stay.” An alien invasion couldn’t drag him away.

Bucky looked at him with a little bit of wonder. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Me either,” Steve replied in wonder, stroking his hand through Bucky’s hair gently, unable to help himself. It was so soft and silky. “I just…I…” he exhaled, happiness flooding him as he gazed at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky pushed, looking curious.

Steve stared at all the angles of his face and the long lashes fluttering as he stared up at Steve. “You’re so, so beautiful,” he told him honestly.

Bucky turned bright red. It was gorgeous. Steve loved looking at him as he got all shy and embarrassed. “No I’m not,” he grumbled softly, looking away.

Steve shook his head and gently tried to coax Bucky to look at him. “Don’t argue with your alpha,” he joked with a big grin.

Bucky met his gaze with surprised eyes. “My alpha,” he repeated back, almost in a whisper.

“I didn’t mean—” Steve sputtered instantly, terrified he’d said something wrong.

“Shh,” Bucky hushed him, pressing his finger against Steve’s lips. “My alpha,” he said again, a little reverently.

Steve’s heart was flying. “God, yes, Buck, in any way you want me, I’m yours,” he rushed out, realising Bucky didn’t take his comment badly, but the opposite in fact.

“And I’m yours?” Bucky asked softly, hand trailing down from Steve’s lips to rest against his chest.

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Yeah, yes, Buck…you’re mine, if you want to be.”

“Your omega,” Bucky continued, staring into Steve’s eyes.

“My omega.”

They stared at each other for a few moments in that perfect moment, until Bucky reached out and took his hand. He tugged him, getting him to follow, pulling him over to the couch where he pushed Steve gently to sit before gathering a bundle of blankets and snuggling in next to him, wrapping them both up.

Steve automatically twisted his legs up onto the couch, pulling Bucky into the gap between his legs instead, so he could wrap his arms round his chest, planting a kiss to his hair.

Bucky laughed as Steve manhandled him and then let out another of those little purrs as he settled back against Steve’s chest.

Steve didn’t think he’d ever been so content in his life. He took a deep breath, part of him still wanting to throw the omega down on the nearest bed, but the idea of keeping safe and providing for and taking care of something precious overtook that. More than anything he wanted Bucky to feel safe in his arms.

Bucky let out a light amused breath. “You’re really happy.”

Steve must have been pumping out enough happy pheromones to cover the whole town. He nuzzled into Bucky’s soft hair again. “Of course I am.”

“I can smell it on you,” Bucky said, sounding delighted.

“Hmm, you caught me,” Steve teased, then remembered something Bucky had said and started carding his fingers through Bucky’s hair.

“Mm, oh that feels good,” Bucky groaned, leaning into it.

Steve kept doing it endlessly, because it turned Bucky into a practical pile of mush in his lap and there was honestly nothing better than making his omega happy. Steve had never felt anything like it, the incredible euphoria he got from a rush of endorphins at knowing that he’d pleased his omega.

He felt like he was practically glowing as he held Bucky, still stroking through his hair, eventually realising Bucky had fallen asleep from it.

He didn’t know if Bucky meant for him to stay the night when he asked him to stay, but Steve couldn’t bear to let go and move and wake him, so he stayed, listening to Bucky’s soft, content breathing, continuing to bask in the perfect moment. He thought he could probably stay there forever.

The world outside wasn’t made for them, but in here…in here everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG 😃 It finally happened! We reached the edge of the pining tree forest. 
> 
> I really hope you liked this one! I feel like they had a lot to say and it got sooo long, but it really had to be. I hope the end of this chapter was worth the angst.
> 
> Your comments last chapter blew my mind. You guys are so so kind to me, I love you tons 💜


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky wake up to their new reality.

Bucky jerked awake. He was being held by something and he jerked away, causing himself to practically fall off the couch, before strong arms caught him.

“Buck, hey, it’s just me,” Steve said soothingly, as Bucky realised exactly who’d been holding him.

Bucky let out a huge breath of relief. “Steve,” he sighed as his eyes fell on the handsome blond on his couch. He moved to sit up. “Sorry, I thought…I don’t know…” He was a little bit embarrassed by his kneejerk reaction.

“Sorry,” Steve apologised. “You fell asleep and I couldn’t bear to wake you and then I guess I fell asleep too.”

Bucky’s brain engaged fully and he suddenly couldn’t believe anything that was happening. Steve was still here. Steve wanted him. They were going to be together, finally, after what seemed like so long longing for him, wishing for him, it had finally come true.

Before Bucky could process anything further, Steve’s stomach let out a loud growl, and Bucky broke into laughter, pulling him out of his amazement. “Hungry?” he grinned as Steve sat up.

Steve looked sheepish. “Maybe a little.”

“You should have woken me if you were hungry. What time is it?” It was light outside now. They must have slept there, Bucky in Steve’s arms all night. He’d let Bucky literally sleep on top of him all night and not complained. Bucky felt a little glow of contentment at the idea of that, at Steve keeping him safe all night.

Steve shrugged. “Early?” He rubbed his hand over his eyes.

Bucky looked across the room to his clock to see it was nearing seven-thirty, and then he got distracted, his eyes fixating on the cake on his dining table. He smiled to himself and got up and headed over there. He didn’t care that cake wasn’t really a breakfast food, he had to try it. Steve had just about killed him showing up with it. He’d been so adorable, with flour in his hair that he didn’t seem to know was there, and he’d clearly tried really hard.

He heard Steve follow after him. “Oh god. You don’t have to eat that,” he said as Bucky looked at it again, taking in all the hard work Steve had done. “It’s probably terrible.”

Bucky smiled over at him, looking at his sweet, worried face. “It’s amazing. I’m gonna get a knife.” He hurried to the kitchen, excited to try the cake.

As he grabbed a knife, he paused for a moment, suddenly overwhelmed again. He gripped the edge of the counter to steady himself, taking a breath, being alone finally letting him process everything that happened yesterday.

Steve had told him he loved him. Bucky couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t. Steve was so wonderful, so gorgeous inside and out, and he loved _Bucky_. Bucky couldn’t stop the ecstatic little burst of energy that ran through him, his whole body shaking in happiness in a little dance.

And he’d told Steve about the attack, and Steve had listened and Bucky could tell he hadn’t judged him or thought he’d brought it on himself by not being careful enough. He’d been disgusted, but not by Bucky. It had been so hard to talk about it since it happened, but somehow Steve made it easier. It felt better that he knew and that Bucky knew without a doubt that it didn’t change Steve’s opinion of him. He could see that Steve wanted to kill, literally kill that alpha if he could have had the chance. And he didn’t blame Bucky for any of it, not like other alphas would have. Bucky had heard it all before, after other alphas had been aggressive and scared him—that he must have led them on, or not had scent blocker on, or even that he smiled at them. _Smiled_. Like a smile was code for _I want to get on my knees and present for you_.

Steve wasn’t like that. Bucky had seen it in his eyes—eyes that had filled with tears—that he would never think something like that was Bucky’s fault, and that he didn’t see him as dirty or used or a thousand other things Bucky had thought about himself.

Bucky took another deep breath, trying hard to make himself believe that the last few hours actually happened. Steve was out there waiting for him. Steve had stayed. Steve had finally admitted that he wanted this. Bucky had finally got to smell his real scent. He shivered a bit at the thought of that. Steve’s scent was like it was made for him. His whole body practically turned to goo, his mind going with it, at the scent of musky alpha, mixed with burning firewood and cinnamon. Steve smelt like warmth and safety. It was the only way Bucky could describe it.

And god, then he’d kissed Bucky. Finally. Bucky felt like he’d been waiting centuries to feel those warm, gentle lips against his own. Steve had sent off shockwaves through his body as he’d pressed against him, setting off nerve endings Bucky didn’t even know he had. He’d felt a massive need to submit to the alpha, to just let him take what he wanted, but it didn’t even make Bucky mad at himself for that being his instinct. He _wanted_ to give himself to Steve. He’d never wanted that with someone else. But the big dork was being all romantic about it, going on about how special Bucky was, which was equal parts adorable and stupid, so for now, Bucky would go along with his apparent plan to woo him. Like he wasn’t already wooed.

He smiled to himself. _Stupid, adorable alpha_. Who was still waiting for him to return. _Oops_.

Bucky pushed his hair back and headed back to the living room, breaking into a shy smile at the sight of Steve there, waiting for him, looking a little curious, probably at why Bucky took so long.

Bucky moved over to him, giving him a shy smile, and then cut into the cake, portioning them both a slice each, picking up the slightly messy piece in his hand. The texture of it felt pretty good.

Steve watched him, looking nervous as Bucky bit into it.

Bucky grinned at him as he swallowed. “It’s really good!” he exclaimed as lemon and sugar burst on his tongue. He felt oddly proud of Steve. Sure it wasn’t the best cake he’d ever had, but Steve had made it for him and that made it special. And it meant something.

“Really?” Steve looked doubtful as took his own slice and tentatively bit into it. He grimaced and then half smiled. “It’s not awful,” he admitted. “But it’s not like yours.”

“Well in fairness, I am a professional,” Bucky reminded him, with a little chuckle at Steve being hard on himself. He met Steve’s eyes. “And it means a lot that you made this for me.”

Steve smiled at him shyly, before he finished his piece off, looking a little more satisfied. “Could you teach me?” he asked, eyes looking hopeful. “How to bake better?”

Bucky felt a strange rush of emotion. “Really? You want to learn to bake?” Baking was traditionally such an omega activity, it was almost unheard of for an alpha to do it. That was why Steve’s attempt meant so much, because it showed how he didn’t hold to those traditions, just like Bucky didn’t.

Steve nodded and then wrapped his arms round Bucky, who let out a surprised yip as Steve crushed them together. “I want to do everything with you.”

Bucky let out a contented sigh. He hadn’t been this happy in over five years. Maybe he’d never actually been this happy. He felt like he was glowing with it. So, of course, his brain had to remind him of his situation.

He sighed and pulled away from Steve, who instantly looked concerned. “I’m supposed to go on my next date with Matt tonight,” Bucky explained at Steve’s look of confusion.

Steve’s face fell. “I know,” he replied softly. He looked a little breakable to Bucky, like the very idea of it hurt him.

“How am I supposed to do that?” Bucky felt his face crumple. How could he possibly sit there with Matt and pretend that he wasn’t completely enamoured with the beautiful blond bodyguard at the next table.

Steve let out a sad, small breath. “You just have to.” He reached out and rubbed Bucky’s arms comfortingly.

“I don’t want to use him.” Bucky hated the idea of that. Matt had been nothing but nice to him, something he hadn’t expected at all when this whole process had started.

Steve sighed, moving a hand to softly stroke Bucky’s hair back from his face. “I know you don’t. That’s part of why I love you.”

Bucky looked at him, smiling shyly. He wasn’t used to that—the way Steve just casually said that. Still couldn’t believe it was really true. Except Steve was looking at him so tenderly, that maybe Bucky could believe it, after all. No one had ever looked at him like that.

Steve’s face turned a little sadder. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this,” he muttered, looking very much like he blamed himself.

“It’s not your fault,” Bucky replied emphatically. “I just hate this. We should be able to be together, out in the open.”

Steve stroked his thumb over Bucky’s cheek, making his skin tingle. “I know, sweetheart, I know. It’s just for a little while. I know it’s unfair to Matt, but this whole thing is unfair to you. And it’s the safest way forward that I can think of for now.”

Bucky felt himself break into a smile, heart glowing.

Steve looked confused, obviously not expecting it. “What?” he asked curiously.

“You called me sweetheart.”

Steve smiled an adorable sweet smile, eyes lighting up. “I did.”

“Say it again,” Bucky requested, happiness overtaking the guilt again.

Steve leant in and kissed his cheekbone. “Sweetheart,” he murmured against Bucky’s skin.

Bucky moved his face to press his lips to Steve’s. He couldn’t help himself—they hadn’t kissed anywhere near enough.

Steve responded enthusiastically, his lips slotting against Bucky’s perfectly as he pressed Bucky against the edge of the table, his scent of arousal filling Bucky’s head. Bucky’s body reacted instantly, and he could feel himself already getting slick and could tell the moment Steve noticed because he let out a little grumble of approval that sent Bucky’s insides quaking.

“Bed?” Bucky managed to utter the one word in between Steve’s relentless and perfect kisses.

Steve pulled away, breathless. “God, what are you doing to me,” he moaned, stepping fully away.

Bucky frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Away from you, you minx,” Steve replied with a shaky chuckle.

“Minx?” Bucky couldn’t help laughing a little.

Steve glowered at him, eyes amused. “Alright, alright, make fun of me. Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Stevie.” Bucky fixed him with his best innocent but pouty look, the nickname easily slipping out.

Steve actually moved backward. “Oh no, don’t give me that look,” he complained.

“What look?” Bucky asked, keeping his eyes wide and innocent.

“It’s not fair to use your superpowers for evil!” Steve complained.

“’m not evil,” Bucky frowned, stepping closer, until Steve reached out to run his fingers into his hair again, as though he couldn’t control his own hands.

“Oh yes, you are,” Steve rebutted. “I want to do this right. You’re incredible. You deserve to be treated as such,” he complained emphatically. “I don’t want to just throw you down onto the nearest bed and…” He paused. “Okay, well, I do,” he admitted with a sheepish grin, “but I’m not going to.”

“Steven,” Bucky pouted, voice stern.

“You know I want to,” Steve replied softly, looking into Bucky’s eyes with those immense blue ones of his that were darkened with lust right now. “You know you’re driving me crazy right now. Or always,” he amended. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Bucky sighed, sensing he wasn’t going to get anywhere. “But you want to wine and dine me because you’re a big loser,” he finished for him.

Steve grinned. “Exactly. Let me be a loser, please Buck, let me,” he begged, smothering Bucky’s face with little kisses as Bucky shrieked in fake protest at the onslaught.

“Oh god, fine!” Bucky finally relented, basking in happiness as Steve nuzzled into his hair. “But you should probably go then, because this is not at all conducive to keeping things slow.” He felt like he was a minute away from trying to rip Steve’s clothes off, regardless of what he’d said.

“You’re right,” Steve admitted, pressing a final kiss to Bucky’s hair before pulling back. “And I need to get to the office so I can talk to Clint, find out exactly what’s happening.”

Bucky felt his face fall. “Yeah, that would be good.” It was amazing how Steve’s kisses could make him forget about the rest of the world, but reality was apparently still there. And reality sucked.

Steve grasped his hand and squeezed comfortingly. “I promise I’ll keep you safe,” he told Bucky emphatically.

Bucky tried to smile. “I know you will.” He did believe that, even if everything seemed stacked against them. Safe was a word he associated only with Steve these days.

Steve let go, looking very much like it was the hardest thing he’d ever done, Bucky thought. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Bucky took a moment. “Oh. Right, tonight.” Tonight. Date night with Matt.

“I know it’s hard, but we can do this,” Steve assured him.

Bucky nodded. They could. They had to, so they could. It didn’t make him feel any better about it though.

Steve reached for his hand once more as they reached the front door, planting a kiss to Bucky’s knuckles. “I’ll see you soon.”

Bucky nodded. It was only a little while. Just a few hours, but it felt like way too many. “Okay,” he replied, trying to be brave, even though the thought of Steve leaving his sight made him feel a little physically sick. But he couldn’t tell Steve that. It was too soon for that level of clinginess. It was just now that he had Steve, he didn’t want to let him go. Not for anything.

Steve kissed him once more on the mouth quickly, like he just couldn’t help himself, and then he was gone.

Bucky took a deep breath. It was just a few hours. It would be fine.

****

“Steve!” Bucky almost launched himself at the man as he opened his door to him at just after five-thirty that evening.

Steve wrapped his arms round him instantly, before burying his face into Bucky’s neck, letting out an incredible moan. Bucky had taken a shower after Steve had left and hadn’t bothered with scent blocker yet. Steve nuzzled against him like he would never let go, gripping him tightly.

The last few hours, Bucky had been sure that he was going out of his mind. He’d baked a ton to try and distract himself, but it was like his body was aching for Steve, he’d missed him so much. It was crazy. It was only a few hours. Well, around ten to be exact, but still. That shouldn’t be a big deal.

“God, I missed you,” Steve murmured into his neck before pressing a kiss there, right where he would bite when they mated. It made Bucky’s knees a little weak.

“Me too,” Bucky replied, tucking his head under Steve’s chin, because it felt safe there.

Steve wiggled them forward and kicked the front door closed. They held each other for what seemed like ages, Bucky feeling completely unwilling to let go, Steve making pleased little grumbles deep in his chest, until finally they both seemed to manage at the same time to pull apart.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said, feeling embarrassed as he met Steve’s eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I didn’t mean to be so clingy.”

Steve shook his head and reached out to touch Bucky’s face, like the second they weren’t touching was too much. “Me too. I spent all day resisting walking out the office and just coming back here.”

“You should have,” Bucky said, letting out a breath. He felt himself getting a bit calmer, having Steve there. He smiled a little to himself. “You know what’s amazing?”

Steve gave him a puzzled look with a sweet smile. “What?”

“Every other time you’ve come here to pick me up, I was dying to kiss you,” he confessed, feeling pretty brave telling Steve that. “And now I can,” he beamed. “I just think that’s pretty damn awesome.”

Steve looked bashful and let out a little happily amused noise. “Buck…” He reached out and tugged Bucky back into his arms, pressing his smiling lips to Bucky’s.

Bucky melted into it in happiness, hands coming up to caress Steve’s face, delighting in the feeling of being so close to Steve, having those warm, soft lips against his own. He tried to swipe his tongue out to get Steve to part his lips, but Steve pulled away, breaking the kiss, and Bucky let out an involuntary whine.

“God, you’re trying to kill me,” Steve muttered, backing up and shaking his head in what looked like fond disbelief.

“Why would I want to do that?” Bucky frowned back, already stepping forward, wanting Steve’s lips back.

“Buck…” Steve let out a breath. “Your scent? It’s honestly driving me insane right now. I let you kiss me any more than that and I don’t think I’ll be able to let you walk out that door,” he admitted.

“Good,” Bucky said back bluntly. “I don’t want to go out that door.”

Steve sighed sadly now. “I know you don’t.”

Bucky took in the troubled look on his face and relented, somewhat delighted that Steve was so affected by him, even if it wasn’t working in his favour right now. Now that Steve mentioned it, he could see how tense he was, as though he was trying to hold himself back. It just solidified for him how much he could trust Steve. Steve clearly wanted him, Bucky’s scent probably affecting him more than Bucky realised, yet there Steve was, completely in control of himself.

Bucky changed the subject instead. “I made chocolate peanut butter swiss rolls, do you want one?” he offered.

Steve’s face broke into a big smile. “Of course I do, they sound amazing.”

Bucky laughed at his enthusiasm. “You’re like my own personal cheerleader.”

“You got that right,” Steve grinned.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’ll go grab one, you sit.” The thought of providing for his alpha did something to him, sent happy little waves through him. And it wasn’t submission, it was because he wanted to. Because Steve deserved nice things.

He headed to the kitchen and grabbed the tray of them from the fridge. He’d been waiting for them to set so he could add the finishing touch of a little gold dust, swept onto one end, so he put Steve’s on a plate and grabbed his stuff to finish it off. He’d wanted to make Steve’s favourite, or old favourite, again, after the last time when it had gone to waste, and the swiss rolls had seemed like a great idea for something quicker than the cake he’d made before.

After a minute of decorating, he felt an annoying ache in his chest and realised he missed Steve. That was insane. He was right in the other room. But the feeling was tugging at him, annoying loudly. He was about to head into the other room when the door opened and in burst Steve.

He was over to Bucky in a second, pulling him into a hug. “Buck, I think we have a problem,” he murmured into Bucky’s hair.

Bucky felt instantly comforted by the hug but then worried by his words. He pulled back to look at Steve.

“I just…I don’t know if you felt the same, but I just felt like I was going out of my mind and you were only in here,” Steve continued. “I missed you,” he added softly.

“I felt the exact same way,” Bucky admitted, feeling a little sheepish, but glad Steve was feeling the same.

Steve looked even more concerned. “I…I think we might be in pre-bond.”

Bucky let out a laugh, which turned into a nervous choked noise as he realised Steve was serious. “It can’t be. Pre-bond is so rare some people don’t even believe in it.”

“I know,” Steve agreed. “But my mother had it with my father and this is exactly how she described it to me. It’s how books describe it.”

Bucky stood there, flummoxed. Pre-bond was only thought to happen when an alpha and omega were so compatible on a physiological level that it started to hurt to be apart. It wasn’t thought to be dangerous, but it was said to be highly distressing for both parties. If he and Steve were in pre-bond…it meant they were somehow, on some base physical level, almost perfectly matched.

“We can’t be,” Bucky uttered, a little in shock.

“All I know is I was separated from you by one wall and it hurt,” Steve shrugged one shoulder. “Feels like it’s been getting stronger all day.”

“Fuck. What does this mean?” Bucky breathed out, wide-eyed.

“It means I’ve really got to take you to dinner soon,” Steve joked.

Bucky let out a laugh, before feeling his face turn a little red at the implications of what might happen after that. “Shit! Dinner!” he suddenly remembered. He had to get ready to meet Matt soon.

Steve let out a growl and Bucky startled, looking at him in surprise. “Sorry, I…sorry, it just came out,” Steve apologised, looking mortified at what he’d just done.

Bucky pressed himself against Steve’s chest again. “Remind me again that we can do this.”

“We can do this,” Steve repeated, stroking his hair. He rubbed his nose against Bucky’s hair as Bucky clung to the collar of his shirt. Steve let out a pleased noise now, before pulling back. “Shit, you’re gonna have to shower really well.”

Damn. He was right. Steve’s scent, not his true scent as he’d come over wearing scent blocker, but a discernable enough alpha scent, was all over him.

“Um, you might have to too,” Bucky realised. He hadn’t put any blocker on yet, and Steve couldn’t show up stinking of Bucky on his and Matt’s date.

Steve let out a little frustrated noise. “I wish we could do that together. But that won’t work,” he pouted.

“Hey, you still haven’t even bought me dinner,” Bucky groused jokingly, trying desperately not to think of getting into his shower with Steve by his side, naked, those muscles glinting with water droplets just like at the swimming pool. Bucky’s mouth went dry.

“You better go, we don’t have a lot of time.” Steve frowned at the clock on Bucky’s oven.

Bucky nodded unhappily, pulling himself from his daydream. “Alright.” He turned and grabbed the plate with the finished swiss roll on. “Here. For you.” He presented it to Steve with a grin, trying to hide how happy he felt to be providing for his alpha in this way.

Steve’s face lit up. “It’s beautiful.”

Bucky’s heart glowed with the praise. He’d made his alpha happy. “You eat that while I get ready,” Bucky told him, stealing a kiss before he could stop himself, and then reluctantly leaving the room.

He scrubbed himself down in the shower furiously, using the most potent scented body wash he had, making it about four minutes into his shower before he started getting that tug in his chest again. He’d forgotten about the pre-bond, what with the thoughts of dinner taking over.

He washed as quickly as he could while still being thorough, bursting out his bathroom and planning to head to his room to get dressed quickly, because being apart from Steve was starting to really, really suck.

Except Steve was waiting right outside the bathroom, looking about as anxious as Bucky felt. “Oh thank god,” Bucky sighed, before plastering himself to Steve’s chest again, feeling instantly soothed.

“I got antsy waiting for you, I hope it’s okay that I came up,” Steve murmured to him.

Bucky nodded, inhaling deeply in relief. He wanted to stay attached to Steve’s front forever, but he forced himself with great difficulty to pull back.

He found Steve gazing warmly at him before his eyes slipped down to his chest, pupils dilating, and Bucky finally remembered he only had a towel wrapped round his waist.

“Jesus Christ, Buck,” Steve said reverently.

Bucky felt himself blushing. “Are you perving on me, Steven,” he jokingly scolded, trying to cover up how much Steve looking at him like that was affecting him.

“Yes,” Steve responded with a little smile, eyes still on Bucky’s body. “My god, sweetheart, you are so gorgeous.” He reached out to run his hand over Bucky’s collarbone, then down over his chest, grazing over a nipple, then down to his waist.

Bucky shivered. “Steve,” he whined, and Steve’s eyes finally came back to his face.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Buck.” He removed his hand. “I…I couldn’t help myself,” he admitted, looking a little ashamed of himself.

“Well you’ve gotta,” Bucky complained, far too turned on from just a simple touch. It wasn’t fair for Steve to get him going like that. Then he realised what they’d done.

“Oh fuck, I need to shower again.”

****

After a lot of standing near each other, but using every bit of self-control they had to not touch each other again, Bucky and Steve were finally ready, Steve having showered too, while Bucky got dressed and doused Steve’s suit with air freshener, making it smell less like Bucky and more like a bunch of really potent flowers.

Bucky was just applying his scent blocker, rolling it over his wrists and neck, as Steve hovered nearby now, fully dressed himself.

“More.”

Bucky looked over at him. “Huh?”

“You need to put more on,” Steve said, nodding towards the roll-on Bucky had been just about to put down.

“I missed some?” Bucky mused, not thinking he had, rolling a bit more on to make sure.

Steve shook his head and made a pained noise. “Mmm, no, you need to put some here,” he said, pointing to his own collarbone. “And here,” he pointed to the back of his neck and then down his arms.

Bucky had started on the first bit but then paused. “Steve, are you being all alpha right now?” he said with a tilt of his head, an unimpressed look on his face.

Steve looked caught out. “I…yes, okay,” he admitted. “But I just can’t stand the idea that he could smell any bit of you.”

Bucky sighed and applied more roll-on. “Only cause it’s you and you’re a big dork.”

Steve smiled gratefully, looking like he badly wanted to sweep Bucky into his arms. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Bucky was beginning to suspect that Steve just used that word because he knew now that it made Bucky turn to jelly. He tried to pull himself together. “It’s gonna be fine. I’ll just have dinner and then we can go home,” Bucky reminded Steve, and himself. “Then we don’t have to think about it for another week, or longer if we can come up with an excuse.”

Steve nodded. “We can do this.” He sounded a little like he was trying to convince himself.

“We can do this,” Bucky repeated, feeling not very convinced at all, but hoping he sounded that way. But he could do this. Steve would be there the whole time and then they could come back here and maybe Bucky could convince Steve to stay and hold him all night again, maybe this time in his bed. He just had to last a couple of hours of pretending first.

He could do that. It would be fine. They had nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the little bit of happiness while it lasts 🤭😈
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone reading this, the response has been amazing and it keeps me writing like a nutcase. Repeat commenters, ya'll are killing me with how awesome you are. If you're reading but not commented, I'd love to know what you think so far? I'm friendly, promise 😁


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Matt's next date goes off with a hitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another longer chapter for you :) My count says it's 5000 exactly, which wasn't on purpose but is pretty neat.

This whole thing was so much harder than Steve thought it would be. And he thought it would be really hard. It was, in fact, almost excruciating.

Before, he’d watched Bucky and Matt, feeling jealous, pining for Bucky, but now…now it was even worse. Now he had to push down every instinct he had that screamed that Bucky was his, while he watched another alpha getting near him, and had to force himself to do nothing.

Matt was clearly hoping this was the evening that things evolved between him and Bucky. He’d been laying it on thick all night. He’d brought Bucky flowers and told him he looked beautiful when they’d met at the restaurant. While that was of course true, Steve felt barely concealed rage at Matt thinking it and the way he may as well have been leering at Bucky. It was only Bucky’s quick, sweet glance at him that kept him from grabbing Bucky and running.

Steve watched as Matt tried to impress Bucky, ordering fancy food at the stupidly over the top French restaurant he’d picked. Steve didn’t know how places like this still existed after the snap—they were so outrageously expensive and pretentious.

Luckily, he was sitting at the bar behind Matt, Bucky facing him, so he could stare at Bucky as much as he wanted. He was sure Bucky had chosen that seat for that very reason. His eyes kept glancing over constantly, a soft smile on his face, that Steve knew was for him and not Matt.

Steve couldn’t hear all the conversation but he picked up bits and pieces when the bar staff weren’t crashing around with glasses, and felt a sigh of relief go through him when Matt offered Bucky dessert but Bucky said he was full and suggested they get the check.

They finally headed outside, just like last time, except this time Matt’s hand hovered just behind Bucky’s lower back, as though he wanted to place his hand there and escort him out. Steve thought he might rip his hand off if he tried.

“Do you think we could have a moment?” Matt requested, turning to Steve as they got to Steve’s car.

“I, uh, I have to stay with Bucky at all times,” Steve replied, feeling his whole body tighten up with the effort it took to not smack Matt right in the face.

“Just for a minute,” Matt pushed. “That’s okay, right, Bucky?” he turned to him.

Bucky glanced at Steve and then Matt. He looked flustered. “I, um, I guess?”

Steve knew Bucky didn’t know what to do, but god did he wish he’d said no. But he had to respect Bucky’s wishes and stay in control. He stepped away a few feet.

Matt moved away a little further, Bucky following cautiously, until they had some semblance of privacy, except as Steve pretended to be looking away or down at his feet, he was still listening to everything.

“Sorry about that. I just, I wanted to tell you…I really like you. I think you’re great,” Matt told Bucky. “I really hope you think so too, I mean about me, and we can maybe exchange numbers and start doing this without Shield. What do you think?”

Steve glanced over to see Bucky looking torn. They should have discussed this beforehand, though Steve wasn’t sure what the best thing to do here was either.

Bucky seemed to settle on going along with it. “I, ah, okay. I guess we could try that.”

“Great!” Steve could hear the smug smile in Matt’s voice. Then he watched as Matt leant in slowly and hugged Bucky again.

Steve swallowed, trying to contain the jealousy that ran through him as he watched them.

And then Matt pulled back and pressed his lips to Bucky’s and time seemed to stand still. And then suddenly everything was happening at once.

Bucky made a little noise of protest and pulled away, and before Steve even knew it, he was over there, yanking Matt back by the collar of his fancy dinner jacket, baring his teeth at him, placing himself protectively in front of Bucky, trying to shadow him so Matt couldn’t even see him.

“What the hell!” Matt complained as he stumbled to regain his balance.

Steve advanced on him, fully prepared to rip his head off, blood boiling. He barely registered what he was doing as he pulled back his arm and punched Matt square in the jaw.

It made a satisfying crunching noise, and Matt fell to the ground, clutching his face.

“I just kissed him, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Matt yelled at him, but all Steve heard was Bucky’s voice yelling his name and then he watched as Bucky pushed past him, stopping him advancing on Matt, Bucky blinking in disbelief, before he reached his hands out to help pull Matt up.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Bucky asked, letting go of Matt as soon as he was on his feet.

Matt looked between them, as Steve started to realise what he’d done. “Is he crazy?” Matt accused, glaring at him, holding his cheek.

Bucky glanced over, brow furrowed, like he couldn’t believe what Steve had done either. “He’s just…protective,” Bucky replied weakly.

Matt shook his head. “Unbelievable,” he huffed. “This whole thing is super weird to begin with, but now your damn bodyguard thinks you’re his?”

Bucky’s face froze. “He…he doesn’t,” he stuttered.

Oh god, Steve had to fix this. “He didn’t want you kissing him,” he spoke up.

“So you punch me?” Matt shot back with an incredulous look. “And I was just reading the vibes. I thought we were getting along great?” He turned to Bucky.

Bucky looked more worried than Steve had ever seen him. “I, um…”

“I know we’re taking this slow, but I didn’t think a kiss was that out of the question,” Matt continued when Bucky didn’t. “You did pick me as your alpha.”

“I…” Bucky gaped, eyes lost.

“You’re not his alpha,” Steve practically barked at him, stepping forward again, before Bucky quickly moved in front, putting a hand on his chest. It wasn’t like he could actually hold Steve back, but the touch made Steve come back to himself again.

“Jesus,” Matt breathed out. “What were they thinking having an unmated alpha look after you.” He stared at Steve like he was seeing him properly for the first time.

Bucky shook his head frantically. “It’s not like that. Steve just…he knows I have, um, issues with physical stuff and he went too far. He didn’t mean it. He’s sorry.” Bucky turned to Steve with pleading eyes.

Steve felt like he’d rather pull his own tongue out than apologise to Matt, but Bucky’s scared look made him pause. He took a breath and tried to choke down the words he really wanted to say. “Bucky’s right,” he managed slowly. “I got overprotective because I was concerned for his well-being. I’m sorry I hit you.”

Matt was still giving him that look until Bucky took his hand, making Matt startle. “I had a really great time. I’m sorry I ruined the end,” he told Matt softly.

Steve watched, trying to breathe through the anger, forcing himself to stay quiet and still, as Bucky played up to Matt.

Matt finally pulled his eyes from Steve, a far softer look in them when he focused on Bucky. “You didn’t ruin anything,” Matt promised him, reaching up to rub his hand over Bucky’s cheek.

Steve would never understand where he got the strength to stay still in that moment.

“It’s not your fault that you drive alphas a little nuts,” he continued with a little wry chuckle. “Do you think you could tell your attack dog to stay?” he requested, glancing back at Steve.

Bucky flinched before Matt looked at him again and then nodded. Then Matt leant in and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s left cheek. “I’ll call you, okay?” he promised when he pulled back, finally letting go of Bucky.

Steve felt like he could cry. Every vein in him felt like it was on fire or like acid was running through him. He forced himself to stay frozen. He couldn’t make this worse than he already had.

Bucky nodded. “Okay,” he replied breathlessly.

“Get him home safe,” Matt ordered at Steve, eyes narrowed, and finally Steve could move, stepping towards his car, yanking open the door and waiting for Bucky to get in, before getting in himself and driving away as fast as he could.

The silence between them was deafening. They didn’t say a word on the drive, Steve just couldn’t find the words to speak, and Bucky just stared out the window, but Steve knew they were going to have to talk. He could only imagine how angry Bucky was with him.

Bucky got out first when they arrived and Steve followed him into his house as he opened the front door, turning to shut it behind himself. He took a breath as he turned round. “I’m so sorry—” he started, but he didn’t get to continue. He had an armful of Bucky, almost knocking the wind out of him with the force that Bucky slammed himself against his chest.

Bucky shoved his face against Steve’s neck desperately, clinging to him, letting out a small whimper.

“Oh god, sweetheart, it’s alright,” Steve breathed out, clutching him tightly, pressing his own face into Bucky’s hair and taking a huge inhale of breath.

“I’m not his,” Bucky mumbled into his neck. “I don’t want to be his. I’m yours.”

“Mine,” Steve breathed out, the tension of the evening starting to leave him. He gripped Bucky even tighter as he shuddered against him. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry, Buck. I just…I got so angry, I couldn’t stand him touching you, kissing you.” Just saying the words made bile rise in his throat.

Bucky pulled back from him, hands still gripping Steve’s shirt. “I want to be with you,” he told Steve, big eyes wide and open, staring into his own. “I don’t want to be wined and dined like Matt did. I don’t need that. I just need you.”

Steve felt his heart beating double-time. “But I wanted it to be right,” he argued weakly, hand finding its way to Bucky’s cheek to cup his face.

“It’ll be right because it’s us,” Bucky argued back, eyes fierce. “Because we belong together. We don’t need anything else.”

Steve found himself nodding. God, he was right. They didn’t need fancy restaurants or planned out dates where Steve brought flowers and candy. They were so far past that. They already had the connection people were trying to find when they did those things. Bucky already had Steve’s heart in the palm of his hand.

He leant down to meet Bucky’s lips in a fierce kiss that seemed to take Bucky by surprise before he melted into it. Pure pleasure tingled down his spine as Bucky opened up his mouth to him, moaning against Steve’s tongue. His hands made their way from Bucky’s face to slide down to his waist, pulling his body flush against his own, before Steve started kissing his way down from Bucky’s lips to his jaw and then his neck.

Bucky started gasping out his name. It was the best thing Steve had ever heard.

He licked over Bucky’s scent gland before pulling away, letting out a noise of distaste, his face scrunched up at the horrible chemical taste on his tongue.

Bucky took one look at him and fell apart laughing while Steve grimaced and tried to rub at the taste on his tongue with his fingers.

“Oh…oh god, your face…” Bucky gasped, choking with laughter.

Steve glared in jest at him. “Oh laugh it up,” he grumbled, still trying to get rid of the taste. It was awful.

Bucky giggled as he helpfully ran off and came back to present Steve with a glass of water, which Steve gratefully chugged while Bucky still looked far too amused.

“It’s your own fault for making me put on so much scent blocker,” Bucky reminded him with a smirk.

Steve frowned. That stuff was all over Bucky. He just couldn’t help it though, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Then he realised that really it worked in his favour anyway.

He put the glass down on the table and then grinned and in one smooth move, yanked Bucky’s legs out from under him to lift him bridal style, as Bucky let out a surprised yip, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck.

“I’m just gonna have to clean you up,” Steve grinned down at Bucky.

“Steve…” Bucky whined softly.

Steve paused where he’d already started for the stairs, suddenly remembering something very important. Bucky hadn’t done this before. Steve had got so caught up, scooping Bucky up, but Bucky…this was all new for him. “Buck,” he started softly, gazing down at the gorgeous man in his arms, “how much of this is new for you?”

Bucky turned bright red in almost an instant. “I, um…pretty much all of it,” he mumbled, looking away.

“Sweetheart, what’s pretty much?” Steve pushed gently. He needed to know. He’d treat Bucky the same, regardless of the answer—as the most special thing in existence—but he wanted to know just what Bucky might be familiar with.

Bucky wiggled a little and Steve got the hint and put him back down on his feet. Bucky kept his eyes from Steve’s, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I, um…kissing and like some over the clothes stuff?” Bucky finally replied, voice full of anxiety.

Steve reached out and tugged Bucky back into his arms. “Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to, you know that. I could just hold you like this forever and be happy,” he promised as Bucky met his eyes.

“Steve,” Bucky rolled his eyes, but Steve could see that he looked touched. “I don’t have to be experienced to know what I want.” He looked into Steve’s eyes. “I know we can’t bond until I’m in heat, but I want this now, I don’t want to wait. I think about this way too much. All the goddamn time. And I love you and I want us to be close like that.”

Steve froze.

“What?” Bucky frowned at the probably stunned look on his face, pulling back from him.

“You…you just said you love me,” Steve said softly, still not quite believing his ears, even though he knew on some level that it must be the case since Bucky had said he wanted to bond with him. But it was different hearing it out loud. It didn’t make it feel more real, because he already felt it from Bucky, but somehow the words drilled their way into his brain and everything felt aglow.

“So? I’ve told you that before,” Bucky replied, a little grouchy-looking now.

Steve let out a chuckle. “I think I’d remember that.”

“I told you I wanted you to mate with me. That’s what that means.”

Steve smiled at the adorably put out look on Bucky’s face. “It’s nice hearing the words.”

“You’re ruining the moment, Steven,” Bucky glowered at him, crossing his arms over his chest.

Steve let out an amused huff at Bucky’s unwillingness to admit how important what he’d just said was. “You’re right. Where were we?” he pretended to muse, before abruptly scooping Bucky up into his arms again. “Oh, I remember now,” he grinned down at Bucky as he let out a startled noise again.

He took one more moment to be serious, looking into Bucky’s eyes. “If anything is too much or you want to stop…you tell me,” he told him. “Promise me.”

Bucky nodded, eyes staring into Steve’s. “I promise. But I trust you.” He tugged on Steve’s neck to pull him close so he could steal Steve’s lips in a sweet kiss, before pushing his feet against each other to kick off his shoes.

“My good omega,” Steve smiled when they pulled back, and Bucky blushed, hiding his face against Steve’s chest.

“Steve…” he whined again. He seemed to do that whenever Steve went remotely alpha with him, like he liked it but found it hard to admit that he did.

“I’m gonna take such good care of you,” Steve promised, moving again. “Gonna get you all clean so I can kiss every inch of you.”

He managed to kick off his own shoes with Bucky still in his arms and then got them upstairs to the bathroom with only a couple of accidental knocks to his elbows on the wall, and carefully dropped Bucky back to his feet next to the shower.

Bucky smiled up at him, eyes soft and expectant, just a little redness at the tips of his ears the only hint now that he might be a bit nervous.

Steve reached out his fingers, resting them at the first button of Bucky’s red and black checked shirt. “Can I?” he asked, letting the words hang.

“Is this some weird alpha thing?” Bucky asked, a slight smirk in his eyes. “I’m not made of glass.”

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. “No, it’s a respectful thing.”

Bucky inched forward, letting his hands rest against Steve’s shirt, before he started undoing buttons. “How about we just assume everything’s a yes unless I say otherwise,” he murmured.

Steve watched him as his nimble fingers made their way down Steve’s shirt, before he got it fully open, until Steve couldn’t stand it anymore and he yanked Bucky in for a forceful kiss. Bucky moaned against him, hands pushing on his shirt and jacket to get them to slide down over his shoulders, so Steve broke the kiss to impatiently yank both layers off, before grabbing Bucky’s face again, delving into his mouth with his tongue this time.

His hands found their way back to Bucky’s shirt as Bucky whimpered against him and then he held it in both hands and pulled, ripping the thing open, buttons popping off, Bucky breaking their kiss in shock.

“I liked that shirt!” he pouted.

Steve tugged it down off his arms. “I’ll fix it later,” he murmured, lust clouding his brain. He flung the ruined shirt somewhere behind him, eyes drinking in Bucky’s naked torso, fixating on the little dark trail of hair disappearing into the waistband of his boxers, visible above his black pants.

Bucky reached down to unbutton his pants, sliding the zipper down, only a little anxiety on his face when Steve finally dragged his gaze back up.

“Take them off, sweetheart,” Steve directed gently, encouraging, about to undo his own suit pants, when the phone in his pocket buzzed, interrupting the moment.

Bucky frowned, hand hovering at his waistband.

Steve grimaced, but pulled out the phone. “I’m sorry, I just need to see…it must be important if it’s this late.” He checked the screen to see it was Clint, telling him to come into the office immediately. “Clint needs me.”

“But it’s almost ten at night,” Bucky complained.

God, Steve didn’t want to leave him. “I know. But he’s been working all hours, trying to get Shield to see sense, and it must be really important if he needs me to come in.” He stared sadly at Bucky. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I need to go. It could be important for you.” He didn’t want to, but this could be something to help Bucky, so he had to.

Bucky’s face fell. “Fine.” He did up his pants again, crossing his arms over his chest like he was embarrassed at being shirtless now.

Steve stepped forward and grabbed his hands, lifting one to his mouth to kiss his palm. “You know this is taking every single bit of self-control I have right now,” he promised.

Bucky looked a little buoyed by that. “Yeah?” he questioned softly, big eyes staring up at Steve.

“God, yes.” He was trying desperately to ignore the way his cock was throbbing in his pants. He kissed Bucky on the forehead. “You get some sleep. I don’t want to wake you. I’ll come back first thing in the morning,” he promised.

“I don’t mind being woken,” Bucky countered, gripping onto Steve’s hand as he pulled back.

Steve smiled warmly at him, so in love with him that it hurt. “Well that’s too bad. Your alpha cares very much about your well-being and that includes getting a full night’s sleep.”

“Pfft, who needs sleep,” Bucky sassed back. “Are you always gonna be like this?” he added, pouting, but with amusement sparkling in his eyes.

“Yes,” Steve beamed at him. He leant in and pressed a lingering kiss to Bucky’s pouting lips. “You sleep, sweetheart. Tomorrow,” he promised.

“Tomorrow,” Bucky echoed.

****

“Clint, what’s going on?” Steve asked as he entered their office, to find Clint sitting on his desk, appearing to not be doing much, a couple of other men that Steve didn’t know with him.

Clint shook his head, looking down. “I’m really sorry,” he said quietly as Steve stopped a couple of feet from him.

Steve frowned slightly, wondering what was going on.

“Steve Rogers?” the man in the long black coat stated.

“Yes?” Steve said cautiously.

“You’re fired.”

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m…what…”

“Matt complained,” Clint said softly.

Terror started to seep into him. Matt complained…

“Please give me your work cellphone and your ID,” the man requested.

Steve felt like he was in shock. “I…on what grounds?”

“Interfering with Bucky’s matching process,” Clint answered quietly.

“An unmated alpha should never have been assigned the case in the first place,” the man spoke up, glaring over at Clint. “We don’t blame you for getting attached, but it’s unacceptable given your…situation.”

Steve almost choked. Of course it was on his Shield file that he was sterile, but no one he worked with day to day knew, not even Clint. “Look, Mister…”

“Fury,” the man filled in.

_Shit_. Fury was head of security. Steve was too lowly to have ever met him before. This was really bad. “Fury, sir,” Steve started, trying to keep his voice level, “I don’t know what Matt said, but nothing happened. It was a misunderstanding. He tried to kiss Bucky and Bucky didn’t want him to, so I intervened.”

“Bucky?” Fury raised an eyebrow.

“Mister Barnes,” Steve stumbled. He’d caught himself out, _oh god_ …

“File states they’ve been dating for around two months. We’d expect them to be mated in another one and breeding soon after. A kiss isn’t really cause for concern here, Rogers.”

God, Steve wanted to punch him. How dare he talk about Bucky that way, like he was a commodity, like he wasn’t even a person.

“As I thought…” Fury continued. “I can see from your anger that you feel too much for this omega.”

_Shit_. Steve had forgotten himself, had balled his hands up into fists and probably had rage on his face. He willed himself to relax. “No, I just…he’s a person, you’re talking about him like he’s nothing but a way to increase the population.”

Fury sighed. “You might not like it but that is what he is. You might not like it, hell, I don’t even like it, but we’ve got a job to do. Our population has decreased a further three percent since the snap. Three! Do you have any idea what that means? We have no choice but to do whatever it takes. Now hand over your phone and your ID,” he ordered, holding his hand out.

Steve could see there was no reasoning with him. He yanked his phone and his wallet out, slamming the phone down on the desk instead and practically throwing his ID card out.

“You’re not to see the omega again. No contacting him, nothing. We’ll be keeping an eye on you and we’ll know.”

Steve felt his heart freeze. “You can’t do that.”

Fury huffed and shook his head. “And that, right there, is why I have to do that. You let your emotions take over. I can’t have that. Stay away from him, unless you want Shield to decide on a mate for him right now.”

Steve felt sick. Fury didn’t have to say the words. Forced bonding. That’s what they had come to. That’s what they would do to Bucky if Steve didn’t stay away. He stood there in disbelief, looking at Fury’s non-plussed face and then over at Clint, who shook his head a minute amount.

“I hope you sleep well at night, sir,” Steve spat out. “You’re nothing more than a pimp.”

Fury huffed again. “I’m just doing what needs to be done. You knew this could only end badly.”

Steve gave him a look of disgust, before gathering his strength to not punch the guy out, instead turning on his heel and walking away.

It didn’t take long for his anger to give way to pure fear as he got outside the building. Fuck, what was he going to do. If he contacted Bucky, they would know. Bucky would be in danger.

“Steve!” a voice called out, making him spin round in surprise. “I’m sorry,” Clint called out, as he got closer. He skidded to a stop. “I…I wish you told me.”

“Told you what? That I’m in love with Bucky? Or that I can’t have pups?” Steve spat out. “Why would that matter?” he glared at him.

“Because,” Clint started, before carding a hand through his hair and looking at the ground. “Oh man,” he murmured, before meeting Steve’s eyes again. “I put you two together because I thought you were a good match. You’re such a good guy and a good alpha and I just...as I got to know Bucky, I just thought you’d be really great together. But you never put yourself forward for the matching program, so I figured I’d give you a little nudge. You always seemed so lonely,” he admitted, softly. “I didn’t know...” He shook his head.

“You were trying to get us together?” Steve frowned.

Clint nodded, looking forlorn. “Turns out I was right too,” he grimaced. “You two are a match.”

“You’re damn right we are,” Steve glowered. “Shield might not think so but we are. And Bucky doesn’t even want pups.”

Clint’s eyes widened. “Wow, seriously?”

Steve regretted the words instantly. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. That wasn’t for him to just go round telling people. But it was done. “Look, you have to help me. Contact Bucky, tell him what’s going on.”

Clint’s face fell. “I can’t. They fired me too. Took my phone.”

Steve paused. “They what?”

“The higher ups didn’t know I’d put an unmated alpha with an omega until Matt complained. So, you know…fired,” he shrugged.

“I’m sorry.” Steve really meant it. Clint had been trying to innocently help him, not realising what he’d really gotten into and now he’d lost his job. And jobs weren’t easy to come by anymore.

Clint shrugged a shoulder. “Shield’s going to hell anyway. They’re stripping omegas of their rights and no one will listen to reason.”

Steve exhaled. “Look, I have to talk to Bucky, I have to.” It had never occurred to him to memorise Bucky’s phone number, and without his work phone, he couldn’t contact him that way. And now it seemed, neither could Clint.

“Either of us go over there and they’ll know.” Clint frowned, looking like he was puzzling over something before his eyes lit up. “The bakery.”

“They’ll know that too.”

Clint shook his head. “Maybe if they’re watching you, they’ll put that together. But me? I go there all the time. If they are watching me, they’ll just think I’m doing my usual thing.”

Steve’s heart leapt with hope. “You’re sure?”

Clint nodded. “I mean, not entirely sure, it’s still a risk, but I think it’s our best chance. I can ask Natasha to give him a message.”

“But the bakery isn’t open tomorrow,” Steve realised out loud, feeling like his chest was ripping in two. “He’s expecting me back, he’ll be worried!”

Clint put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, probably trying to be comforting. “I know. But I can’t see another way to contact him without Shield finding out. It’s just one day. You just have to be strong.”

“We’re in pre-bond, Clint,” Steve bit out.

Clint went wide-eyed again. “Shit? Really? That’s insane. That…that doesn’t happen.”

“Well apparently it does,” Steve griped back. “I feel like I literally won’t be able to breathe if I don’t see him soon.”

Clint let out a deep breath. “Goddammit…” He gave Steve a look. “Okay, I know this must suck, like so, so much, but it won’t kill you. You know that. You have to get through this. Just tonight and tomorrow. For Bucky,” Clint said, fixing Steve with a look.

Steve exhaled and tried to control the energy coursing through him that wanted more than anything to run to Bucky’s house. He couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky waiting for him in the morning and him not showing up. God, what would Bucky think? But he had no other options. If he went and tried to get Bucky and run, if Shield were already there they might overpower him, he might fail. He couldn’t let that happen, it was too risky. “You’re right, I know you are.”

“Look, I’m gonna come home with you, okay?” Clint offered. “I don’t know how bad this pre-bond thing can get, you might need someone to watch you.”

Steve nodded, feeling grateful and suddenly exhausted. “Thank you.”

Clint huffed. “Well, it’s kind of my fault this is all happening…”

Steve fixed his eyes on Clint’s. “Thank you for that too,” he said genuinely. “I never knew I could love someone like this.”

Clint’s face turned soft and sad. “Well, let’s make sure it works out then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeek. How we feeling about Matt and Shield? And ack, so close to smut and then I ruined it 😂
> 
> And yeah, in my made up world, omegas have to be in heat for a mating bite to take. Just to complicate things even more.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments on the last chapter. First time commenters - it was super kind of you to stop in and great to hear from you 😊 Repeat commenters - I honestly look out for your names and it's awesome when I see you back, thank you! 😍 Honestly ya'll are spoiling me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky waits for Steve, not knowing he'll be waiting a long time.

Bucky was aching. He’d managed to sleep, but now it had been too many hours since he’d seen Steve. Pre-bond was making his life hell. It seemed like every molecule of his body was missing him.

He was glad for once that it was Sunday—the one day a week the bakery closed. It meant he hadn’t had to bake the night before or this morning, and for once he was pleased about that. It meant as soon as Steve got there, they would have no distractions. And Bucky could hardly wait for them to pick up where they’d left off. In the light of day, he could admit he was more nervous than he’d let on, but he still wanted it. As soon as Steve got there, he was taking him to his bedroom and planning on not leaving for the rest of the day.

But it was already ten and Steve still hadn’t appeared. He’d said first thing, hadn’t he? Maybe he got in late and was still sleeping? That could be the only reason, because if he was feeling anywhere half as bad as Bucky was, he’d be over here in a second.

A thump on his door jolted Bucky out of his ruminations and his heart leapt with excitement. _Finally_. He was so excited, he did something he never did and opened his door without checking.

His heart froze as he found himself face to face with two tall men—one of whom was huge, like he could be a wrestler.

“Mister Barnes, I’m Nicholas Fury, from Shield,” the guy in the long, leather jacket said, flashing a badge at him. “This is Luke Cage, he’ll be your new bodyguard.”

Bucky blinked at them. “I’m sorry?”

“Your previous bodyguard was not working out. This is your new one. Though from what I’ve heard, you shouldn’t be needing one for much longer?” Fury suggested, lifting one eyebrow.

Bucky tried to process. Steve had been called in last night and now this. This was bad. Something had happened. Steve wouldn’t have quit, so that meant they’d reassigned him. He didn’t know why, but he had to be careful. “Mister Rogers isn’t coming back?” he asked, trying very hard to keep his tone neutral.

“That’s right.” Fury seemed to study him as he said it.

“Oh,” Bucky stated, trying to be casual. “That’s too bad. He did a good job. Can you give him my thanks?” he requested. “Nice to meet you, Mister Cage,” he added with a glance at him.

“You too,” Cage replied politely.

Fury was still looking at him like he was trying to see under his skin. “Your previous liaison, Agent Barton, is also no longer on this case.”

Bucky blinked in surprise. “Oh?” He tried to keep his face interested but not overly so.

“I think you can probably handle arranging dates with your alpha yourself now anyway,” he continued. “You seem to be getting along fine?” he questioned, face not giving anything away, but Bucky could tell his answers were important here.

“I, um…” He looked down, trying to play the part of bashful omega. “I don’t really make the first move so much,” he said softly, before looking up at Fury again. “But it’s fine if Matt wants to contact me directly.” He smiled, hopefully in a soft and dreamy kind of way. “He’s a really good guy.”

Fury looked buoyed. “Well, good,” he stated, with an actual grin at Cage. “Glad to hear the program is doing its job well.”

Bucky averted his eyes, trying to make himself seem shy. Alphas were so easy sometimes. Make yourself look all cute and timid and they couldn’t seem to help being charmed by you.

“I’ve got to head back to Shield, but is there anything you need Luke for right now?” Fury continued.

Bucky shook his head. “Nothing I can think of.” He smiled slightly at Cage. Cage even looked a little won over by him. Bucky looked over at Fury again. “Thanks for coming to let me know about the change.”

“You’re welcome, Mister Barnes. Best of luck,” he said with a tip of his head, but the words actually sounded genuine, rather than like a warning.

Bucky kept up the act until the door was firmly shut. Then he started panicking.

Steve had been replaced. The only reason Bucky could think of was yesterday with Matt. There was no way Shield knew he and Steve were together. Maybe Matt had gone to Shield and complained? Bucky couldn’t really blame him—Steve had punched him after all. Clint being replaced though…Bucky didn’t know what to make of that. He couldn’t imagine Clint had done anything wrong. Maybe he’d defended Steve? Either way, this was bad.

His heart was still aching, almost like a physical pain at being away from Steve. He tried hard to think clearly as he paced around his living room. He’d just have to wait for Steve to come over. Then he’d know what was going on. There was no need to panic.

He wished more than anything that Steve had left his jacket or any item of clothing here. It wouldn’t smell much like him, but Bucky would have taken anything. But no, big stupid alpha had to go out fully dressed.

Bucky whined in frustration. Pre-bond was awful. What was even the point of it? It seemed to just be there to drive him crazy. He felt needy as hell, but he didn’t want to wake Steve if he was sleeping still, so he decided to hold off calling him.

He headed for his kitchen. He needed to bake. That would calm him down. He could focus on that and not the sucking hole in his chest. Steve would be over soon.

****

Steve didn’t come over soon. Bucky spent an hour baking before giving in and calling him. Except when the phone connected, it was Luke Cage. Bucky had to try his best not to sound surprised, and pretend like he knew he was calling Cage and made up an excuse of wanting to check that Matt had his number now.

When he hung up, he realised Steve’s phone was now Cage’s. That wasn’t good. It meant he had no way to contact Steve. He’d never realised his number was a work phone and he’d never got a personal number, probably because Steve had been too busy trying not to be with him.

He’d just have to assume Steve was busy with something and would be over soon. That’s what he had to do. He couldn’t let himself panic.

He went back to baking.

Four hours later, and maybe a hundred brownies deep, Bucky was a wreck. Steve had said first thing. It was after three. In his gut, he knew this wasn’t right. Something must have happened. Oh god, what if Shield arrested him, or worse, what if they hurt him?

Bucky felt himself starting to shake. He scrolled through his phone to call Nat, but she didn’t pick up. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t call Clint—he didn’t know who he might accidently be calling if Clint was off his case.

He tried to rack his brain for options.

Steve’s house. Bucky didn’t know the number, but he did know the street, Steve had mentioned it when they’d gone swimming. And he knew his car. If Steve’s place had a driveway, it would be easy to find. If it didn’t, then he could hope his car was parked in front of his house.

Bucky pulled himself up from the floor that he hadn’t really realised he’d sunk down onto, then paused.

The only problem with his plan was it involved going outside. Going outside alone. No Steve, no bodyguard, not even Nat…just him. Going out by himself for the first time since the assault.

He didn’t know if he could do it.

Steve’s place was a good fifteen-minute walk away, maybe twenty. Twenty minutes outside, by himself.

Bucky tried to breathe slowly, trying to keep himself calm. He didn’t seem to have any other options. He could try and wait for Nat to call him back, but what if that took hours? She’d never been the sort of person who stayed glued to her phone. And he already felt like he was in physical pain without Steve. He didn’t think he could wait that long.

Bucky took another breath. He could do this. He had to do this. He’d been scared for too long. And he had to find Steve. He just had to.

He nodded, as though confirming his decision to himself. Then he ran up the stairs, deciding if he was doing this, he needed to be quick about it and not give himself time to change his mind or think it through too much.

He yanked off his t-shirt and sweatpants and grabbed his scent blocker and rolled it on over practically every inch of himself, again and again. He dithered about, waiting for it to dry and then he pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a clean shirt and then the biggest hoodie he had, keeping the hood up, before running back downstairs to pull on his sneakers.

He made sure he had his phone and wallet and then he hesitated. It didn’t feel like enough.

Bucky headed for the kitchen and found one of his smaller knives. He had no idea what he planned to do with it if he needed it, but he didn’t know if he’d make it outside that door otherwise.

He tucked it into his hoodie pocket, keeping his hand round the handle, finger extended along the knife’s back edge to ensure he didn’t cut himself.

He grabbed his keys and then stood in front of his front door for longer than needed, taking a few deep breaths, and then he opened the door and stepped outside.

****

_Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one-hundred._

Bucky walked, keeping his eyes down, counting in his head. When he got to one hundred, he started over again. _One, two, three…_

Someone’s laugh cut into his thoughts. There were way too many people out for a Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoons were for lazing around inside. _Why were so many people out?_ Bucky tried his best to press himself as close to the edge of people’s yard fences every time someone walked by him.

It was hot out and he was sweltering in his big hoodie, but he couldn’t take it off. He swallowed, trying to keep himself from freaking out. If he started crying or panicking, people would notice.

 _Shit_ , he’d lost his place counting. _One, two, three, four_ …He counted in time with his steps, walking quickly, but not quickly enough to draw attention to himself.

He was getting closer to Steve’s street. So far, no one had taken any notice of him, but it was still the most nerve-wracking thing he’d ever done. Rationally he knew that it was unlikely that anything would happen, but he couldn’t stop his mind playing over all the _what ifs_ …

_Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five…_

He turned onto the street before Steve’s. He was so close. He wanted to run the last part, but he didn’t want to attract undue attention. He forced himself to step evenly in time with his counting.

God, he hoped Steve had a driveway. The houses on this road didn’t. He prayed the next road wasn’t the same.

 _What if Steve’s car wasn’t even there? What if he wasn’t home? Oh god, this was a terrible idea_. Bucky knew he wouldn’t manage to stay calm and composed if he had to get back home by himself as well. What if he got scared and started sweating and his scent blocker started wearing off and an alpha caught his scent? What if they grabbed him and he couldn’t fight back? What if they took him home with them, forced him to…

Bucky paused for a moment and clenched his hand round the knife in his pocket. He was going to hyperventilate if he kept thinking this way.

_One, two, three…_

He turned onto Steve’s road, his heart leaping in his chest. He’d made it almost twenty-minutes, outside, by himself. He wasn’t done yet, but there was a reward waiting for him.

Driveways.

He could have wept. All he needed to do now was find Steve’s car. He slowed his pace a little so he could sweep his eyes to the left and right as he passed by the little houses, smaller than his own, but with similar porches and steps.

And then there it was. Number one-o-seven. Steve’s car was parked facing inwards on the paved drive, in front of a house with a blue door.

Bucky looked around quickly, checking to ensure no one was paying him any attention, before he realised there was no one actually on this street right at that moment, and then he made his way up the steps, knocking firmly on the door, adrenalin pumping through him, making him feel jittery.

The door opened and Bucky almost launched himself at the person, before he got ahold of himself, forcing himself to freeze. “Clint?” he stared in disbelief.

“Bucky?” Clint looked just as surprised.

“Bucky?!” a voice yelled out from somewhere inside and Bucky pushed his way past Clint into the house.

“Stevie?!” he yelled back, his heart pounding, because thank god, Steve was here. Just the sound of his voice had already sent a little wave of relief through Bucky. He pulled the knife out his pocket and set it down on the slim table in the hallway, glad to be rid of it.

He heard Clint shut the front door and then there was a huge crashing noise from somewhere inside the house and Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin. “Jesus, what was that?” Bucky squeaked.

“Steve, hold on!” Clint yelled. He gave Bucky an apologetic look as he rushed past, fumbling in his pocket, beckoning Bucky to follow. “I had to lock him in his closet. He was trying to get to you.”

Another crash sounded as Clint led him hurriedly down a corridor and fumbled to get the key into the lock.

Bucky wasn’t focusing much by then. He could feel Steve there. “Stevie?” he called out again.

“Don’t body slam the door!” Clint yelled out quickly. “I’m opening it, I’m opening it,” he promised and then he yanked the door open and there was Steve, looking like he was about to tear the place apart.

“Bucky!” Steve’s distraught face lit up with relief and reverence.

Bucky managed the two steps to get to him before he finally let go, falling into Steve’s arms, knowing he was safe now.

Steve’s hands were all over him, running up his back and into his hair, as he held him close and pressed kisses against Bucky’s head, and pure relief flooded Bucky, his whole body almost collapsing with it.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Steve murmured.

Bucky pressed his face into Steve’s neck, delighting in the fact that he had no scent blocker on, rubbing his face against him, and letting out a reflexive whine at the perfect scent that made him feel so safe.

“Sweetheart, how did you get here?” Steve asked, still caressing every inch of him, but Bucky was too far gone to answer.

He didn’t feel like he could focus on anything but feeling Steve. He wrapped himself around Steve as tight as he could get, keeping his nose pressed against his neck, letting his scent envelop him, letting it soothe all the tension and fear he’d built up all day.

He could feel the rumble of Steve’s chest as he tried to talk to him, but he couldn’t process or think of anything except how relieved he was to be in Steve’s arms. He felt Steve’s arms tug on him a little, like they were trying to loosen him, and he heard himself snarl back at that, locking his arms tight so Steve couldn’t leave him again, before pushing off from the ground so he could lock his legs round Steve’s waist too.

There. That would keep him from going anywhere or trying to leave Bucky behind again. He pressed his face back into Steve’s scent gland, basking in the feeling of warmth and home, and let out a little purr of pleasure, shutting his eyes, knowing Steve could hold him forever like this.

****

“Christ, I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff, but this is really…” Clint trailed off, eyes wide as he looked at Steve, who now had Bucky apparently permanently attached to his front.

Steve increased his grip around Bucky’s lower back and stroked through his hair with his other hand. Bucky seemed to have completely disengaged, and was just lightly purring in his arms, locked around him like he would never let go.

Steve could only imagine he’d be in the same state if Bucky wasn’t wearing so much scent blocker that the only thing Steve could smell from him was chemicals. He’d been going out of his mind without Bucky, feeling practically feral. Having Bucky back with him had made that all go away. He was instantly soothed, but at the same time, reality started to set in. Bucky couldn’t be here. If Shield knew he was…

“Clint?” He locked eyes with him, expressing everything he was thinking in one look, knowing Clint would understand.

Clint shook his head. “They would have no reason to watch him. Bucky doesn’t go outside except with a bodyguard. And with his hood up…even if someone is watching your place, I don’t think they’d ever think it was him.”

“But how did he get here? Is there someone else outside? Did Natasha bring him?” Steve asked. It must have been. He wasn’t even sure how Bucky had found his place.

Clint shook his head. “There’s no one. He walked here.”

Steve sucked in a jagged breath, squeezing Bucky tighter in his arms, resulting in him snuggling in even more, if that was even possible. “He went outside by himself?” He couldn’t believe that.

“Looks like,” Clint shrugged. “He must have been really feeling the pre-bond.”

“Fuck,” Steve breathed out. “He must have been so scared.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Bucky’s head. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” he tried, attempting to shift his head back so he could see Bucky’s face.

Bucky just dug his fingers into Steve, mouth pressed against his collarbone, nose at his scent gland, still non-verbal.

“Clint, what do I…?” Steve asked, getting more and more worried about the state Bucky was in.

“He’s okay. I think. It’s probably a stress reaction on top of the pre-bond. Maybe we should just go sit and you can hold onto him until he comes back to us?” Clint suggested.

“Okay,” Steve agreed, because he didn’t have a better plan. He walked with Bucky in his arms to his living room and sat down carefully in his banged-up leather armchair, but Bucky still refused to move, so Steve sat there with Bucky in his lap, legs and arms still wrapped around him.

He stroked Bucky’s hair over and over, hoping to soothe him into responsiveness.

“We need to figure out what to do now,” Clint said as he dropped onto the couch to the side of them.

Steve had already run through their options in his head and only come up with two. Run or bond. The first wasn’t an option, because he refused to take Bucky away from the life he’d built for himself after the snap, and it would only be delaying what he thought they both wanted. Bonding would be the only way for them to be together. Shield would let it go. They wouldn’t do anything, they couldn’t.

He voiced the idea to Clint, and Clint nodded. “That’s what I told Bucky. I think he thought I meant Matt, but I was really hoping he liked you.” He sighed. “Shield seem to be able to do whatever they want right now, but there’s no way the bond would be touched. No way.”

Steve didn’t need the reassurance. Shield may have devolved into something he didn’t recognise anymore, but that one fact remained true. Anyone who was bonded could imagine the pain of losing that bond. Steve had seen it when his father had died, how his mother had seemed to die with him. And that had been a natural death. A forced bond break was said to be a thousand times worse. After the snap, suicides from those who lost their mates had outnumbered all others. Steve knew even Shield would never touch a bond.

“You have to do it as soon as you can,” Clint continued.

“Bucky’s still on suppressants,” Steve realised out loud. Omegas had to be in heat for a bond to take. “He only had less than a packet left, but he hadn’t run out yet.” It felt so weird and wrong, talking about Bucky like he wasn’t there, when he was in fact snuffling a little against Steve’s skin, sending tingles down his spine.

“He’ll have to stop straight away.”

“How long until his next heat after that?”

Clint shook his head. “I really don’t know. Sometimes it snaps back to normal straight away, sometimes not. Bucky’s been on suppressants for a really long time though, longer than you’re really supposed to, so it might take longer for him, maybe a few months. There’s no way of telling.”

Steve felt a rush of distress run through him. “I can’t wait that long. I can’t be away from him. And Shield might expect him to mate with Matt by then,” he panicked, the idea of that making him feel sick to his stomach.

“We have to do the other option then,” Clint stated, a little look of sadness on his face.

“What other option?” Steve asked, heart aching as he looked at Bucky curled up against him.

“Run.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...five whole days between updates, what is wrong with me! Honestly, you guys killed me with your comments on the last chapter and I died and it took a while to come back and write this as a ghost 😂 
> 
> Seriously though, there were some damn passionate responses. I appreciate it. How we feeling after this chapter?
> 
> Some of ya'll hated me a lot after the last chapter so just to warn you...you're really gonna hate me after the next one 🤭


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve make a plan. Then they hit a snag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this yesterday but I fell asleep at like 7pm on my couch 😂 Also I'm very overdramatic and so is this chapter.

Bucky came back to himself slowly. It took him a moment to remember where he was, but he sighed happily as he realised the scent of Steve was all over him. He was snuggled in his arms and was certain he hadn’t felt this safe in over five years.

He wiggled a little in Steve’s tight hold, pulling back from his neck.

“Hey, sweetheart, are you with me?” Steve murmured softly as Bucky moved back enough so he could see Steve’s face.

He blinked at Steve’s bright blue eyes being so close to his own. “Hey,” he murmured back.

Steve ran a hand into Bucky’s hair, smiling softly and adoringly at him. “Hey.”

It took Bucky a moment to remember that he’d jumped on Steve like a crazy person and refused to let go. “Oh, god,” he mumbled, embarrassed, tearing his eyes away.

“What’s wrong?” Steve tucked a hand under his chin, his touch soft and hand warm, trying to get him to look back at him again.

Bucky didn’t resist it. He sighed as he met Steve’s eyes again. “I don’t know what came over me, I’m really sorry.”

Steve scrunched his face up in what looked like disbelief. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” He stroked back Bucky’s hair again. “I can’t believe you came all the way here by yourself. I’m so proud of you, you were so, so brave.”

Bucky blushed. He’d walked a few streets. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but to him it was, and he could tell Steve genuinely meant what he said. And he _was_ proud of himself. He’d done it. He’d gone outside alone and nothing terrible had happened. “I just…I was going crazy without you. I was so scared something had happened to you.”

Steve looked touched, pulling Bucky into another hug, squeezing him tightly.

Bucky suddenly pulled away and twisted his head, eyes darting around. “Shit, Clint was here. I didn’t think…he knows about us,” Bucky panicked, his grip tightening on Steve again. He’d been so caught up in seeing Steve that he hadn’t even processed Clint being there properly. There was no way they could talk themselves out of this.

“Shh, baby, he already knew, it’s okay,” Steve soothed, stroking his hair. “He’s on our side.” He smiled a little lopsided smile. “He actually wanted this. He put me with you on purpose.”

Bucky blinked at him. “He did?”

Steve nodded. “He thought we’d get on.”

Bucky couldn’t help the wide smile that appeared on his face. “Well he was right about that.” He couldn’t believe Clint had done that. He’d always liked him and now he knew he’d been right to.

Steve looked back at him lovingly and then leant in to press his lips against Bucky’s.

Bucky felt it in his very soul. His whole body came back to life. God, he’d missed Steve so much. He wrapped his hand round Steve’s head, fingers carding through his short hair as he pressed himself up as close as he could get.

Steve pulled away, gasping a little, hair standing up all funny, and Bucky made an involuntary whine of complaint. “We need to talk, Buck,” Steve told him, resisting Bucky’s attempt to kiss him again.

Bucky frowned, trying again to capture Steve’s lips. “Later,” he mumbled.

Steve didn’t let him make contact and shook his head. “I wish we could, sweetheart, but this is important.” He looked worried. “They fired me.”

“I know,” Bucky sighed. “They came to my house, my new bodyguard and some Shield guy called Fury.”

Steve let out a breath. “Jeez, they worked fast.”

“It’s okay, I’ll just go along with it for now,” Bucky shrugged.

Steve shook his head, looking even more troubled. “We can’t. They know how I feel about you. They said they’ll be watching me. If I go near you, they’ll know.” He swallowed. “It’s why I couldn’t come back to you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t, but we can’t risk them seeing us together.”

Bucky frowned. Just when he couldn’t hate Shield more… “But…but we can’t be apart. I don’t want to be, and I can’t do it. It hurts.” What the hell did Shield think they could do to them anyway, Bucky figured. Then he thought a bit longer and realised there were probably many terrible things they might do. They’d already started doing terrible things.

Steve looked down and let out a breath. “Believe me, I know. Clint said I was practically feral, trying to get to you.”

“So what do we do?” Bucky pushed, stroking his hand down Steve’s neck, wishing he’d been there so Steve hadn’t had to go through that.

“We, ah, we need to bond.” He looked a little hesitant as he looked at Bucky. “Shield won’t touch that, Clint agrees.”

Bucky didn’t understand the look on Steve’s face. He felt like he was glowing with happiness at Steve’s words, while Steve just looked worried. “Good,” he replied simply. “That’s what I wanted anyway.” He wanted to be with Steve, wanted his bite. It didn’t matter how quick it was, they were meant for each other, Bucky knew it, he could _feel_ it.

Steve seemed to melt a little and Bucky could see he wanted it too, even if he was worried. “It’s not that simple. Remember, you’d have to be in heat for the bite to take. We don’t know when that will happen if you stop your suppressants.”

Bucky frowned to himself. He hadn’t thought of that. “I only have a few left anyway.” He was, frankly, a little terrified about what came after. Without his pills, having heats…even now, having Steve with him, he was still scared.

“I know. But Clint said it could take a few months for your heat to come because you’ve been on them for a long time,” Steve replied gently.

“But we can’t be apart for a few months. I don’t have a few months!” Bucky realised in panic. His birthday had been almost two months ago. He only had around a month left before Shield expected him and Matt to mate. He’d always assumed that deadline wasn’t set in stone, but now, with what Shield was doing, he’d bet anything that if he wasn’t on the way to being mated after three months, Shield would not be happy. He didn’t know quite what they might do.

“That’s what Clint and I talked about. We figured we only have one option right now.” Steve sounded so sad now, Bucky hated it.

“Which is?” he pushed.

Steve hesitated. “We have to run,” he admitted. “We have to go somewhere Shield won’t find us, while we wait for your heat.” His face suddenly crumpled. “God, Buck, I’m so, so sorry for all of this. I wish so badly that I could just court you properly and take our time, but if we want to be together, this is the only way.” He let out a little sigh. “I hate it. I hate feeling like we’re mating because of circumstance. I hate that we’ll have to leave your home.” He looked so distressed, it made Bucky’s heart hurt.

Bucky moved his hands to grip Steve’s face firmly, forcing him to meet his eyes. He couldn’t allow Steve to look like that a moment longer. “Steven Grant Rogers, you stupid dumb alpha. I would mate with you in a second, doesn’t matter the circumstance.” He frowned at him. How could Steve not realise that. “I fell for you so quickly and I can’t stand the idea of being without you.” He really couldn’t. It was hard to even remember being without Steve now that he had him. “I love you so much it’s like I can’t keep it all inside,” he admitted softly, rubbing his thumb over Steve’s cheek. “And as for courting me? We’re not in the goddamn fifties. And who says only you get to do that? Maybe I want to court you? You deserve to be taken care of too. So stop feeling so guilty and tell me where we’re running to.”

Steve blinked at him, like he was in disbelief at Bucky’s words. He took a moment to answer. “Um, Clint went to arrange things, he’s got a friend who can help. He’s bringing a car back too, in case mine is being tracked somehow.”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded firmly and decisively, glad Clint was already on the case. Yeah, this whole thing sucked, and he was going to have to tell Nat he had to quit, at least for a while, and let her down, but he knew she would understand. “So we just need to wait?”

Steve nodded. “For now.”

“Well then, I don’t see any reason why you aren’t kissing me right now,” Bucky told him boldly. Everything was fucked up, but if they couldn’t do anything right then, then Bucky was going to do his best to try and forget about all that as much as possible. And kissing Steve seemed like the best damn way to do that.

Steve broke into a small incredulous smile. “You’re incredible,” he told Bucky earnestly.

“Less talking, more kissing,” Bucky ordered.

Steve beamed as he leant forward to meet Bucky’s lips, Bucky practically trembling as Steve kissed him, so softly, but pouring so much passion into it, Bucky couldn’t help but shiver a little.

He pressed himself against Steve further, letting out a little whine at the feel of his solid muscles against him. Those were all his to touch, he could barely believe it. He tugged at the collar of Steve’s white t-shirt as Steve’s tongue slid into his mouth.

“Mm, take it off,” Bucky moaned out, breaking away for a brief second before melting back into Steve’s lips, the scent of firewood and cinnamon overwhelming him now.

“We shouldn’t,” Steve managed, breathlessly.

Bucky whimpered softly. “Please? I just…I need to feel your skin against mine.” He didn’t know why he did, it must have been a pre-bond thing, but he was suddenly desperate for it.

Steve moved him back on his lap slightly and then pulled off his shirt in one fluid motion. His fingers moved to hover near Bucky’s hoodie but Bucky beat him to it, yanking both the layers he was wearing off in one motion. He’d hoped it would have been sexy, but he got his head caught and ended up struggling his way out, letting out an annoyed sound, before feeling Steve’s hands there helping him.

Bucky pushed his hair back out of his eyes once he got the clothing flung to the side, feeling himself pouting a little. “Hmph, smooth,” he grumbled, a little embarrassed.

Steve just smiled a little more, eyes twinkling. “C’mere,” he murmured, pulling Bucky back towards him.

Bucky moaned again as their bare chests pressed together. God, this was so much better. He felt sated somehow, on one level. On another level, he very much needed more.

Steve went back to kissing him like Bucky’s kisses were water and he’d been in a drought.

Bucky was so overwhelmed with sensation, pressing his chest against Steve’s, Steve’s lips making his whole body shudder, that he didn’t even notice the first knock on the door. Or the second. But he did notice the noise of the door bursting open.

Steve was on his feet instantly, shoving Bucky back behind him protectively as Bucky looked up to see Fury, Cage and a further two men he didn’t know, striding into Steve’s house like they belonged there. His heart started beating double-time, panic running through him.

“You know, I thought I’d made myself clear, but I guess not.” Fury raised an eyebrow as he took in the sight before him. “Step away from the omega, Rogers.”

Bucky could smell the rage already coming off Steve, but also fear. Instead of stepping away, Steve moved an arm protectively in front of him. “You stay the hell away from him.”

Fury looked bemused, shaking his head slightly. “I have to say, I’m a little surprised to find him here with you. I thought you understood what I said before.” He moved his gaze to Bucky. “It’s okay, Barnes. I know this isn’t your fault.”

Bucky frowned, confused, while panic swirled through him.

“Damn omegas, can’t control themselves,” Fury muttered with a little glance at the other guys, one of whom smirked.

Now Bucky was the one feeling rage. He stepped forward only to be held back by Steve’s arm. “Excuse me?” he choked out loudly, in disgust. “I can control myself just fine, you arrogant piece of—”

“Bucky,” Steve cut in, turning his head, eyes warning.

“Look, just step aside, Rogers. Don’t make this worse,” Fury commanded.

Steve turned back to look at him. “I won’t let you take him away. I love him.”

Fury’s face remained just as impassive. “Do you think I give a rat’s ass? I have a job to do. You can’t breed that omega. Therefore, I don’t give a damn if you love him.”

Bucky felt sick. Another goddamn alpha talking about him like he wasn’t there and talking about him like he was a goddamn pup incubator instead of a person. He felt like he was about to step forward and try and rip Fury’s head off, but Steve spoke first.

“He’s just one omega,” Steve almost whispered. “Just one. Why can’t you just let it go?”

“How many times will it be just one,” Fury fired back. “ _Just one?_ ” he mocked. “Every single one matters these days. He’s currently the only _just one_ omega of breeding age who isn’t mated here. Our world is falling apart and I’m doing everything I can to save it. That means I can’t make exceptions.” He nodded over at Bucky. “He is more valuable than you even understand. The entire future of our species relies on him and his kind. His kind that is _dying out_.” Fury broke off and sighed. “I wish it wasn’t this way too. People say you’re a good guy, Rogers.” He paused and seemed to realise that Steve wasn’t going to move. “Get him out the way,” he sighed again, tilting his head at the other men.

The second Cage was in reach, Steve went for him. Bucky jolted backwards in shock at the pure ferocity as Steve punched him square in the face, before going at him again. One of the others went towards Steve too, but somehow Steve elbowed that one in the face before returning to scuffle with Cage. “Bucky, run!” Steve yelled out at him as Cage barrelled into him, heaving him into the wall.

The plaster actually cracked. Bucky let out an aborted sound of shock as Steve groaned but kept fighting back.

Bucky didn’t know what to do. But he refused to run. There was no way he was leaving Steve there.

Bucky saw the third guy approaching where Steve and Cage were slamming into each other and he knew Steve couldn’t take them both, even with his protective alpha instincts going wild. So, acting on pure instinct, Bucky stumbled forward, grabbed Steve’s side table lamp and smashed it over the guy’s head, just as he tried to get Steve from behind.

Fury actually looked shocked, almost as shocked as Bucky felt at his own actions as the guy crumpled to the floor. Steve glanced up at the noise, the distraction allowing Cage to get a solid hit in, and Bucky couldn’t help the distressed noise coming from him as Steve dropped. But it wasn’t enough to keep Steve down. He aimed a kick at Cage, catching him in the knee, making him stumble, as Steve staggered to his feet.

The guy Steve had elbowed was starting to drag himself up again and Bucky looked round the room in panic, trying to find something else that he could hit this guy with if he had to. But then Fury started reaching for something in his pocket and then the click of a gun cocking confirmed Bucky’s worst fear.

Bucky felt like his heart stopped. He couldn’t breathe as he stared at the barrel of the jet-black gun in Fury’s hand.

“Don’t make me shoot you, Rogers,” Fury drawled, but Steve didn’t stop struggling, still taking hits and giving them back just as fiercely.

Bucky watched as Fury sighed and now seemed to be actually taking aim, and absolute terror ran through him. “Steve!” he yelled out. “Stop!”

Steve did stop. He glanced at Bucky in confusion and in a second Cage and the guy Bucky didn’t hit with the lamp were on him, pinning him down, hitting him again, Steve letting out a noise of pain that cut through Bucky’s heart like shrapnel.

“Please don’t hurt him anymore!” Bucky cried out, tears on his face now, imploring Fury, as he watched Steve take another punch to the face. “I’ll go with you. Just don’t hurt Steve, please stop hurting him!” he choked out.

Fury didn’t put the gun away, but he did lower it. “Rogers sure did a number on you,” he almost chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. He beckoned to Bucky and Bucky forced himself to step towards him while Steve suddenly made a noise of distress, struggling against the men holding him firmly now against the floor, but at least not hitting him anymore.

“Bucky, don’t!” Steve cried out.

One of his eyes was swelling up already. It made Bucky’s whole soul ache in pain. Every fibre of his being wanted to go over there and hold him and take care of him and make the pain stop. As it was, he was probably never going to hold Steve again.

Bucky forced himself to stand next to Fury, Fury placing a hand on his bare shoulder. The touch made bile rise in his throat and he flinched. He looked over at Steve, with tears in his eyes. “I can’t let them hurt you. I’m sorry.” He felt like his whole body was tearing in two, that was how much it hurt to see the pain in Steve’s eyes. “Promise you’ll get him to a hospital and then you’ll leave him alone.” Bucky met Fury’s eyes, staring at him fiercely.

Fury eyed him for a moment and then nodded. “You two do as he said,” he told Cage and the other man. “Maybe take Coulson there too,” he gestured at the guy Bucky had knocked out cold. He grabbed a shirt from the floor and flung it at Bucky, who tugged it on, realising heartbreakingly that it was Steve’s. “Let’s go,” he ordered Bucky.

Steve started trying to struggle again, yelling out his name.

“Stevie, I love you,” Bucky struggled to say the words, tears choking him as he let Fury start to pull him towards the door. Steve screaming his name followed them out the house and echoed in his head, cutting into him like a knife, as they got into Fury’s car and drove away, Bucky in the backseat.

“You’re a brave one,” Fury commented as he drove.

Bucky refused to answer, staring out the window, knowing his life had just ended.

“Don’t you worry. We’re gonna take care of you. We’ll get your alpha in and everything will be okay.”

“I don’t want it,” Bucky glared at him now, unable to stop himself.

“That’s just because Rogers has got you all confused. You’ll see that Murdock is a much better alpha for you, don’t you worry.”

Bucky felt bile rising in his throat. “You’ll leave Steve alone. You promise.” That was all that mattered now. He felt like he was dying, but at least Steve would be okay.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Bucky hoped he’d die too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be mad... 😳 
> 
> Next chapter will take a liiiittle bit longer, cause frankly, it's kinda garbage right now and I want it perfect. I think it's nice of me to make you wait longer after ending this chapter here like this 😂 I'm sorry! 
> 
> Massive love to all you amazing readers and commenters, would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter 💜


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shield has Bucky and Steve will do anything to get him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not sure how to warn on this one. There is no rape of any kind in this fic (except for Bucky's past story), but this chapter talks about rape and has rape themes/feelings to it. So just in case, I wanted to warn. But there's nothing sexual in this at all, it's more a feeling I think. I'm describing this terribly. Basically Bucky's having a tough time.

Bucky didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this.

He’d been led to a building, he guessed Shield headquarters, and had been taken to a room. It was a cell, he knew that, even though it didn’t look like one. It was more like a hospital room, but with a real bed and adjoining bathroom, but once he was left inside, the door had been closed and locked. So it was a cell.

There was no way out of this. He quickly realised they planned to hold him here, probably until he went into heat, and then they would probably send Matt in to either fuck him and try to breed him, or fuck him, breed him and force a bite on him. It made pure panic and disgust rise up in him. He wanted desperately to believe that Matt wouldn’t do that, that he wasn’t that sort of alpha, but he just didn’t know.

It terrified Bucky. To think of being bound to a person he didn’t want, to think of being without Steve. To be violated in that way. His whole body felt like it was in pain, missing Steve desperately, praying he was alright, combined with paralyzing fear of what might happen to him.

He was having trouble breathing properly. Maybe he was hyperventilating. Bucky forced himself to sit down on the bed, against the headboard, knees pulled up to his chest, trying to breathe slowly. He wanted to scream, practically smothering himself with the collar of Steve’s shirt, breathing in the scent of home, wishing more than anything that he had Steve’s arms round him or Steve’s hands running through his hair.

He was never going to see him again. Bucky’s gut twisted at the thought. He’d finally found the person he was meant to be with and he’d been taken from him. He’d never again get to see the way Steve’s eyes crinkled up when he smiled, or how his eyes lit up with adoration for Bucky, or hear his deep voice murmuring that he loved him. He’d never get to watch Steve as he tasted one of his cakes, or hold his hand again.

Bucky took a shuddering breath. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t.

The door opened with a jarring noise and Bucky jerked his head up in fear to see Fury entering the room.

“I want to go home,” Bucky told him, trying to sound commanding, but he knew his voice came out shaky.

“It’s safer for you to stay here for now,” Fury replied, dropping what looked like a pile of clothing onto the bed.

“But I have a job,” Bucky tried, knowing it wouldn’t do any good.

“We’ll get in touch with your employer and compensate them for your time away,” Fury stated, like that made it all okay.

“I’m safe at home,” Bucky attempted instead. “You have no right to keep me here.”

“I’m afraid that’s just not true. And it’s for your own safety. Who knows what Rogers might try and do. He seems like a stubborn son of a bitch,” Fury chuckled lightly.

“Don’t you dare say a word against him,” Bucky found himself stating fiercely and loudly at Fury. “He’s a million times the man you are.”

Fury raised an eyebrow. “You are a fierce little omega, aren’t you,” he huffed in amusement. “I know you’ve formed some kind of connection with him, but you’ll feel better about that in a few days, when you’ve had some time to think.”

“I don’t need time to think,” Bucky spat out. Then he let out a frustrated breath. There was no point trying to reason with him, Bucky knew. He could tell Fury didn’t give a damn what he said. “Is Steve okay?” Bucky couldn’t help asking.

Fury let out a slightly amused huff. “My guys took him to the hospital as requested. As long as he doesn’t try to get to you, we won’t go near him, I promise.” He sighed heavily as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Bucky drew his legs in even closer to his chest, moving himself as far away as possible from the alpha, which wasn’t very far at all.

“Look, I know you think I’m the bad guy here, but I’m not. Rogers lied to you.”

Bucky frowned at Fury’s words. Steve would never lie to him.

“I know he looks like everything an omega could want, but he’s not. I don’t know if you were listening back there, but I wasn’t lying when I said he couldn’t breed you. He’s sterile,” Fury said bluntly. “But he decided he wanted you and he didn’t care how unfair that was on you. Guess he figured he’d already have mated you by the time you found out.” He looked sympathetically at Bucky. “So I know you thought you loved him, but now do you understand? He tried to take your future pups from you. We couldn’t let him do that.”

Bucky sat staring at him, too nervous to move or say anything. If he told Fury, if he admitted he didn’t want pups, he didn’t know what would happen. He was certain the outcome wouldn’t be good though. But he hated not defending Steve to this asshole. “I…can you please leave me alone,” he uttered quietly, unsure of what else to do.

Fury sighed again. “Of course. I know it’s a shock.” He stood and pointed to the pile of clothes. “There’s some things for you there. If you have anything you’d like us to get from your house so you’re more comfortable, just let the staff know and we’ll send someone out.”

He reached the door and looked back over. “We’re getting in touch with your alpha. When he gets here, things will be better, you’ll see. Shield really does care about what’s best for you.”

Bucky felt sick again. He didn’t want Matt. Matt wasn’t his alpha. Matt wasn’t anything to him. But he didn’t know what to do. So he stayed silent, a tear running down his cheek as Fury left him there, the door closing, shutting him away. Alone.

****

Steve had two heavily bruised, possibly fractured ribs, a swollen eye, and bruising everywhere, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about any of it. The agony he felt was because Bucky wasn’t with him. He’d failed to protect him and now Shield had him. In fact, Bucky had ended up protecting _him_ , instead of the other way round and Steve hated himself for it. He’d promised he would keep Bucky safe. He’d promised and he’d failed.

The Shield agents had taken him to hospital as they’d promised, and surprisingly, they had left him there. Steve had to assume they saw him as no threat now, which meant they were definitely keeping Bucky somewhere where they knew Steve would never get to him.

But Steve had to get to him. He couldn’t let them force a bond on Bucky. It was barbaric. He felt sick as he even thought of it. He didn’t want to imagine how scared Bucky must be, even through his bravery. Bucky was so, so brave, Steve was always in awe of him.

He had to be just as brave. He had to get him back and kill anyone at Shield who so much as looked at him. Steve started moving the minute the nurse left. A massive shock of pain ran up his left side, but he didn’t care. He deserved it. He struggled to get up, reaching a seated position, panting heavily.

“Jesus Christ, Steve, what happened?”

Steve looked up in surprise to see Clint coming through the door. “How did you know I was here?” he asked, even just talking causing him pain.

“I’m your emergency contact, remember?” Clint said as he ran over to try and get him back into bed.

Right. When Steve had started working at Shield, he’d had to put someone down and he didn’t know anyone or have anyone left at least, and Clint had offered. It had been embarrassing to put down a guy he barely knew at that point as his emergency person. Now he was grateful for it.

Steve waved him off, even as pain tore through his chest again. “I’m fine. We have to get Bucky.” He tried to get to his feet, but Clint stopped him, holding his shoulder for a moment.

“Just wait. Get Bucky from where? What happened?”

“Shield,” Steve spat out. “They took Bucky. They’re going to force him to bond with Matt. We have to stop them.” He struggled again to move, letting out a groan of pain.

“Wait, wait, wait, Steve,” Clint stopped him again, panic all over his face. “You can’t just walk into Shield and get him back. You’re in no condition and what would you do anyway? Fight them all?” Clint sighed deeply as if trying to process the situation. “You just have to calm down a minute and we need to figure this out.”

“I can’t calm down. I don’t know what they’re doing to him! I don’t know how long…” Steve broke off in pure anguish, voice choked, tears filling his eyes. Anything could be happening to Bucky right now. Anything.

“Okay…” Clint ran a hand through his short hair, letting out a worried breath. “We know some things. We know they can’t do it until Bucky’s in heat. The earliest that would be is in a month, so we have some time.”

“I can’t leave him there for a month!” Steve protested.

“I’m not saying that,” Clint hurried to say. “I’m just saying, we don’t need to panic about a forced bond just yet, okay? That’s one good thing at least.”

Steve tried to take a breath and nodded. “Okay.”

“They won’t let Matt, um, do anything with Bucky before then either,” Clint continued, apparently trying to choose his words carefully.

“You mean rape him,” Steve spat out.

Clint let out a breath. “Yes, I mean rape him,” he said gently. “Shield, Fury…that’s still a crime here and they know it.”

“They want to force a bond on him!” Steve growled out in pure anger and disgust.

Clint shook his head softly. “You forget, Steve. Forced bonding was acceptable for a really long time. It hasn’t even been that long since people started widely criticising it, maybe what, the last twenty years? It’s still not even illegal in every state. And Shield’s setting everything backwards, and they see it as just being an arranged bonding, where the alpha has the say over the omega.”

“They’re despicable,” Steve hissed, but Clint was right. Omega rights had come far in a relatively short space of time, it was no wonder they could go backwards at such a fast rate too.

“I know,” Clint agreed. “But at least we know they aren’t hurting him that way. They’re probably keeping him with them though, for his protection, so he’s definitely at Shield. Not at our building, but I can find out where.”

“You can?” Steve asked, a little hope running through him.

Clint nodded. “I have friends in Shield, the ones who’ve been fighting for omega rights. They’ll help. I’m gonna call right now.” Clint met his eyes. “Please, just lie back down and rest while I do?”

Steve hesitated and then nodded. Clint was right. He was no use if he couldn’t move. He swung his legs carefully back onto the bed and Clint nodded and moved away, pulling out his phone.

Steve picked up parts of the conversation as he tried to breathe slowly and stay calm, even though it was an almost impossible task. Bucky didn’t need him to lose it right now. He had to stay strong and calm so he could get him out of this.

Clint walked back over after an intense fifteen-minute conversation. “Okay. My friend’s looking into it. Obviously she has to do it without raising suspicion, so we have to be patient. I know how much you love him and with your pre-bond and everything, that’s the last thing you want to do, but you have to, okay. For Bucky’s sake.”

Steve looked at the intense look in Clint’s eyes and knew he was right. “Okay,” he gave in. “Okay, I will.”

“We’ll get him out. I know we will,” Clint continued, staring at Steve as though trying to really make him hear the words and take them in. “I’m going to keep making arrangements to get you the hell out of here when we do, okay, and you’re going to stay right there and rest because you’re sure as hell going to need it.”

Steve nodded, finally allowing himself to calm a little. Clint seemed sure they would get Bucky out and Steve had to be too. “Thank you,” he breathed out, doing his best to believe what Clint said.

Clint squeezed his shoulder for a moment and smiled sadly at him. “I’ll be right back.” He started talking on his phone again, heading out the room, as Steve lay there, exhaustion taking over.

He had to stay calm and stay strong. Bucky was relying on him. He had to hold himself together for Bucky. He had to.

Tears broke free and Steve gave in and let himself cry.

****

Bucky hadn’t moved for a while. After he’d discovered that his windows didn’t open wide enough to climb out and also realised he was at least three or four floors up, he’d curled himself up into a tight ball and stayed shoved into the corner where the bed touched the wall, comforting himself by breathing in Steve’s scent on his shirt over and over again.

Fury hadn’t come back, but he’d been introduced to the beta who would be looking after him, as they put it. Her name was Maria and she’d tried to calm him with her scent, as if that would work. Bucky was never going to be calm again.

She’d made him tea and left it next to the bed when he refused to move or acknowledge her. When she left, he went back to smelling his shirt collar.

It wasn’t too long until the door opened again. Bucky looked over in disdain and then his pulse skyrocketed as Matt rushed in, worry on his face.

“Bucky, god, are you okay?” he rushed over to him, but Bucky recoiled from his touch. Matt frowned but pulled his hand back. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you,” he murmured, settling down on the edge of the bed, near him, but not trying to touch him again.

Bucky just stared back at him. It was terrifying, not knowing what was going to happen. He couldn’t believe they’d just let Matt in and left him alone with him. They’d never been alone together.

“I was so worried about you when I went to your house and you weren’t there. I’m so glad Shield found you.”

With everything that had happened, Bucky hadn’t really given any thought to how Shield had found them, but now at least he knew it hadn’t been him. No one had followed him at least. God, he and Steve should have just run straight away. They’d wasted too much time.

Bucky tried hard to stop himself thinking about what they should have done differently. It wasn’t going to do any good now. And while he wanted to hate Matt, the thing was, Matt truly sounded like he had been concerned. He hadn’t been trying to destroy Bucky’s life. But he had anyway.

Matt seemed to be studying his face. His shook his head and let out a breath. “I can’t believe what Rogers has done to you,” he sighed.

Bucky narrowed his eyes. Clearly he’d been too generous with his assessment of Matt. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he should stay quiet and meek, but he hated how Matt said that, like Steve had somehow tricked him or something. “He didn’t do anything to me,” Bucky uttered. “I love him.”

Matt scowled, like hearing that hurt. “I…I know you think you do,” he started gently, “but that’s just your hormones. Rogers used your nature against you.”

Bucky glared at him in disbelief. “My nature?” he sputtered.

“It’s okay,” Matt tried to soothe him, apparently not bothered by the look Bucky was giving him. “It’s understandable and it’s not your fault. I forgive you.” He sighed, shaking his head a little. “Omegas are so vulnerable and Rogers took advantage of that. But he’s not your alpha.”

Bucky felt sick. Matt was reducing him to some sort of meek creature who couldn’t trust his own mind. “He _is_ my alpha. And I’m his. I’m sorry that you think otherwise and I know I led you on, but I don’t love you. I can’t,” Bucky told him emphatically, past caring if it was a good idea or not to say these things.

Matt looked down at his hands, a forlorn expression on his face. “This has all been a disaster from the start. I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you space and time to get used to me, but I think that just gave Rogers a way to manipulate you.”

Bucky huffed angrily. “He didn’t manipulate me. Jesus Christ! Are you even listening to me?”

“Bucky,” Matt frowned.

“I’m sorry if that hurts you, but you have to understand. Me and Steve…we’re it. He’s the one for me.” Maybe, just maybe, he could convince Matt and Matt would understand and would stop this whole thing?

“He’s not,” Matt argued, voice gentle even so. “He’s barely even an alpha. He lied to you, Bucky. I know Nick explained to you.” Matt stopped and sighed. “I don’t mean to upset you. You just…you’re not seeing straight right now, your hormones are all out of whack, but it’s okay. We’ll wait for your heat and you’ll feel better when we bond.”

Bucky froze. “I don’t want that,” he replied, voice shaking, a shudder seeming to go through his whole body. “You really want to force a bond on me?”

Matt looked desperately sad now, face falling. “God, Bucky, no. Of course I don’t. But you have to understand, Shield is so concerned for your welfare, they won’t let me take you home until we’ve bonded. And I know you don’t want to have to stay here any longer than you have to.”

A little breath of disbelief escaped him. Were those really his options? Bond with someone he didn’t want or stay here forever? They couldn’t be the only options. Bucky’s heart clenched. How the hell was this happening to him?

Matt moved a little closer, looking upset at Bucky’s distress, and Bucky realised he’d literally backed himself into a corner. It had seemed comforting before, but now he realised he’d completely boxed himself in. “I know you’re scared, but trust me,” Matt said, eyes imploring. “This is what’s best. We’re a good match, we’re gonna be so happy, I promise you.” He smiled now. “I keep imagining little pups with your big eyes. They’ll be so beautiful.” He reached out like he was going to touch Bucky’s hair.

Bucky slapped his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me, I swear to god.”

Matt let out a disappointed sigh, pulling his hand back to his lap, and then suddenly paused and scented the air. “Oh god, that’s his shirt, isn’t it?” he stated, looking at Bucky’s white t-shirt that he knew was swamping him a little. “No wonder you’re still feeling like this.” He gave Bucky a look like he was scolding a child. “You need to take that off and give me it.”

Well, if he was going to talk to Bucky like he was a pup then Bucky could damn well act like one. “No,” he refused, defiantly.

“Bucky,” Matt sighed again, exasperated. He waited for a moment, then he got up and walked to the door.

For a moment, Bucky brightened at the thought that maybe he was leaving, except all he did was call for Maria and then in Maria came.

“He’s getting agitated,” Matt informed her. “He’s wearing a shirt with Rogers’ scent all over it, how could you not notice that?”

“He wouldn’t really let anyone get close to him,” Maria replied, giving Bucky a sad once-over.

Bucky sat there in amazement as they talked about him like he wasn’t even in the room.

“He refuses to give me it, but I need to get that away from him. It’s only hurting him,” Matt continued.

Maria looked a little sympathetic and then nodded, as though confirming something for him.

Matt turned back to Bucky and moved to the bed, kneeling on it this time, getting closer to Bucky.

Bucky jolted in fear. “What are you doing, stay away from me,” he cried out as Matt basically blocked him into the corner again. His heart started beating so fast, he was worried he might pass out.

Matt just let out a breath and then his hands were on Bucky.

Bucky startled so violently, he hit his head against the wall.

“Just give me the shirt and we won’t have to do this,” Matt told him. “I don’t want to scare you.”

Bucky was goddamn terrified right now, but there was no way in hell he would ever give up Steve’s shirt. It was all he had left of him.

Matt grasped his shoulder as he struggled, trying to push him off, but Matt was stronger. Bucky felt sick as Matt all but clambered over him and held him down with one hand, using his legs to help pin him, and then started tugging at the shirt. His hand touched Bucky’s bare stomach and Bucky felt close to vomiting.

He struggled against him. “Get off of me!” This couldn’t be happening. This was some nightmare that he was going to wake up from.

It didn’t matter how much he struggled. Matt was stronger. There was a deafening rip as Matt gave up trying to get the shirt off the proper way and instead pulled it apart from the left side-seam, all the way up to the armpit, where he gave it another almost painful tug to tear it apart from around Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky yelped in surprise and then tried desperately to cling onto the fabric, but Matt was yanking it away from under him, already moving back, taking Steve’s scent with him.

Bucky felt tears down his face as he lurched forward, trying to get the shirt back, but Matt was already up off the bed.

“Please get rid of this,” he asked Maria, handing her Bucky’s lifeline.

“No,” Bucky sobbed, scrambling to his feet and running over there, only to be held back by Matt as Maria gave him a sorrowful look and left the room. “No, no, no…” he cried as tears fell freely down his face. It was all he had, and they’d taken it. They’d literally ripped Steve away from him.

Matt tried to hold him steady, shushing him. “Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. Just relax. You’ll feel better soon. I’m sorry I had to do that.” He tried to start to pull Bucky into a hug.

Bucky pulled away violently, stumbling backwards. “Don’t call me that! And don’t ever touch me again, I swear to god.” Sweetheart was for Steve only. It sounded beautiful when it came out of his mouth. It made Bucky sick to his stomach when Matt said it.

Matt looked at him with sad exasperation. “I think you need time to calm down. I’ll come back tomorrow and see how you’re doing.” His eyes trailed down Bucky’s naked torso like he couldn’t help himself.

Bucky felt like his skin was crawling. He could still feel Matt's hands on him.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Matt smiled softly at him as though he couldn’t help saying it, while Bucky wanted to puke his guts out on the floor. “You rest and I’ll be back soon, I promise. We’ll be together soon.”

He attempted to move towards him, but Bucky stumbled back a few steps and Matt stopped. His face fell for a second before he forced a smile and then turned and left the room.

When Maria came back in a few minutes later, she placed a shirt on his chair. Matt’s shirt that he’d left to comfort him, she told him before leaving again.

Bucky threw it into the corner of the room and poured his cold tea over it to get rid of the stench.

Then he collapsed on the bed, cocooning himself within the covers, fist in his mouth so Maria wouldn’t hear him screaming out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know your feelings on this chapter. I feel like some people will see Matt's behaviour as horrific (including me) and maybe some won't find it that bad, I'm not sure. I'm honestly intrigued to know what you think. 
> 
> I hope you don't hate me also 🙁 
> 
> More soonish 💜


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky waits for rescue. Steve waits to rescue him. It's a whole lot of waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for more shitty Matt behaviour (seriously, I am so sorry for ruining Matt like this) and suicidal ideation from Bucky.

“I can’t do this anymore, Clint, I just can’t. I need something, you have to give me something,” Steve almost yelled, pacing around Clint’s living room.

Clint sighed under his breath.

Steve knew he was grating on his nerves lately, but he couldn’t help it. This waiting was killing him. Missing Bucky was killing him. And pre-bond was like an itch under his skin. At first it had hurt, a painful ache, but that eventually turned into a something else. Steve felt on edge all the time, emotions running high, wanting to fight almost anyone he came across, feeling the need to do something, anything. He felt riled up all the time, alpha instinct going crazy with the need to protect his omega, but his omega wasn’t there.

Clint forced him to spend a lot of his time going to a local boxing club, so he could punch out the anger that was simmering in him at all times. It helped for a while, but the feelings always came back.

That and the guilt.

“Look, I know I can’t really get you to think rationally lately, but I _have_ given you something. My guys are working on it, but they can’t just get to him straight away. They have to weasel their way in without Shield getting suspicious and as much as you may hate that, that takes time. If you happen to have an army and want to burst in there, go ahead. Otherwise you have to _wait_.”

Steve knew Clint was being logical, but somehow he couldn’t seem to hear it. “It’s been two weeks and nothing has happened,” he spat back at him, his whole body tense and hurting. Most of his injuries were healed or on their way to healing, but being without Bucky was killing him. Every day ticked by slower and slower, until Steve was almost convinced time had stopped entirely.

“Lots has happened, it just hasn’t had pay-off yet,” Clint argued back. “Now sit down and eat your sandwich,” he frowned.

Steve let out a breath. Clint had been so good to him, letting Steve stay at his house and doing all he could with his friends in Shield, even making sure Steve ate, because Steve was barely functioning enough to remember to, and Steve knew he was being a dick to him, but he couldn’t help it. “It’s not enough,” he argued back.

Clint opened his mouth to reply, but a knock at the door interrupted their argument. Clint let out a breath, looking pointedly at the cheese sandwich he’d made Steve, and then got up to head over to the door.

Nat strode in as soon as it opened, just as Steve shovelled a bite of the sandwich into his mouth to keep Clint happy.

“Any news?” she asked Clint as she glanced over and gave Steve the look of disdain that she’d taken to using with him.

Natasha hated him. She blamed him for everything that had happened, Steve knew she did. The thing was, Steve was completely on her side. She was right to blame him. He would never forgive himself for losing Bucky.

Clint filled her in while Steve tried to take some calming breaths like Clint had taught him. Nat had been trying her best to help them since she’d cornered Clint the first time he went back to the bakery. It turned out Shield had already come in, explained Bucky’s situation, and given her a big cheque to compensate her for the loss of her employee for now. She’d been furious and pinned Clint to the wall when he’d gone in and now they kept her in the loop as much as possible with their plan to get Bucky out.

Nat nodded along as Clint spoke and then she looked over at Steve, who pulled his gaze away from her fierce eyes. Then she sighed and pulled an envelope from her bag and Steve’s heart leapt, his whole body lurching forwards a little.

Nat huffed a little in annoyance as she held it out to him. “Got it this morning.”

Steve took it, a little reverently, knowing this letter had been in Bucky’s hands.

Nat had received the first letter a week ago. Bucky had written about how sorry he was that he couldn’t be at work and how he missed her. It was short, and they could tell Bucky was leaving things out purposefully. There was no way Shield would send the letter if Bucky had written anything against them. But it didn’t matter that the letter didn’t really mean anything. It at least meant that there was a connection there—that he could see something Bucky had written and touch it. Steve had been living in hope that they would receive another one.

He opened it carefully, as eager as he was to read it, not willing to risk ripping it. His heart clenched as he looked at Bucky’s handwriting and he read each word carefully. Nat had thought maybe there was a clue hidden in the first letter, but they’d not found anything. But maybe this one.

It was short again, and more of the same. That he missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again soon. He wrote about how he’d been doing a lot of reading and then…then Steve’s heart lurched and a broken sound came out of him.

_…it’s good, but not as good as that book you got me about the spider, with that illustrator I love so much…_

Steve couldn’t stop the tears that filled his eyes, words blurring together as he slumped onto Clint’s couch, gripping the letter, his hands shaking.

“I thought it might have that effect,” Nat mused, and Steve felt the couch dip as she sat next to him, but he couldn’t really register anything. “Oh, Steve,” she murmured, as he blinked back tears and re-read over and over that sentence.

Bucky was telling him he loved him, in the only way he could without Shield realising it. Steve felt himself shaking, and then surprisingly, felt arms around him.

“It’s okay, shh,” Nat murmured to him, and Steve realised she was the one hugging him.

“Bucky…” he choked out.

“I know,” Nat soothed.

“He still…” Steve couldn’t get the words out.

“Of course he does. He’d be crazy not to.”

Steve stared at her in disbelief as he pulled back to look at her. “But…you hate me?” he asked, confused.

Nat sighed, giving him a look of pure sympathy. “Oh, Steve. I don’t hate you. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” She let out a deep breath, looking a little ashamed. “I’m worried about my friend. I don’t know how to handle this very well, so maybe I’ve been taking it out on you.”

“You should, it’s my fault,” Steve replied instantly.

“It’s not your fault,” Nat and Clint said over each other and then Nat huffed and rolled her eyes, looking over at Clint for a moment before looking back at Steve.

She lifted her finger and pointed to the letter. “This right here…this is Bucky, telling you he loves you. He doesn’t blame you. No one does. I know you did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.” Nothing he did was ever enough.

“You didn’t know how far Shield was going to take this, you couldn’t have anticipated—”

Her words got cut off by the shrill sound of Clint’s phone ringing.

He picked up, greeting whoever it was, and after a minute, broke into a tentative smile. “Seriously?” he said as Steve started paying proper attention now. “You’re a fuckin’ superstar, you know that?” He listened for a moment. “Yeah, yeah…okay, hold on one sec.” He paused, looking over at Steve. “I’ll be expecting a heartfelt apology from you in a minute, Rogers,” he grinned, before putting the phone to his ear again.

Steve felt his eyes go wide with anticipation. “What?” he uttered, not really able to form a proper sentence.

Clint beamed, phone still to his ear. “She’s in.”

****

Nineteen days. Nineteen fucking days had passed as slowly as if it had been nineteen months.

At first, he’d held out hope that Steve was coming for him, even as at the same time, he hated the idea because he needed Steve to be safe. But after nineteen days of nothing, Bucky didn’t have much hope left. Steve probably had no idea where he was. Bucky didn’t know where he was. He didn’t blame Steve. At least he was out there, hopefully safe from harm. That was what mattered most, more than anything. More than what was happening to him.

So it had been nineteen awful days. But Bucky had learnt a lot in those nineteen days.

He’d learnt that Maria was kind but could not be swayed. She believed that they were helping him, and the world. She let him at least write letters to Nat, when he’d asked to see her and been told it wasn’t possible for his safety. He figured what they meant was they didn’t want anyone knowing where he was, in case Steve found out. That, and they clearly didn’t want Bucky to say anything against Shield. Maria had very strongly implied that she’d check the letters before sending them for him. So the first letter, he’d just told Nat he was okay, hoping to at least give her peace of mind, and hoping she was somehow in contact with Steve and would tell him too. The second letter, he tried to sneakily include a message to Steve that he knew Nat would understand and hopefully tell him. He just wanted Steve to know that he’d always love him.

Bucky missed him desperately. He’d learnt that pre-bond was the worst thing in the world, because for nineteen days, his body had been in pain, actual physical pain manifesting from him missing Steve. He already knew not to tell anyone about it. He pretended to be fine. If they knew, maybe they would try to find a way to sever the pre-bond and Bucky didn’t want that. He could live with the pain as long as it meant he was still Steve’s.

He would always be Steve’s though, no matter what happened to him. If Matt tried to force a bite on him, he would fight with everything he had. Which granted, wasn’t much. But he would do everything in his power to stop it. Because while Matt had said he wouldn’t force him, he also seemed convinced that Bucky would soon realise it was for the best and would want it. And when he realised Bucky wasn’t going to change his mind, Bucky wasn’t sure what Matt would do.

But Bucky had also learnt not to fight for now. He’d learnt to go along with things since the first time Matt had brought a nurse in to sedate him “for his own wellbeing” when Bucky had been screaming at him. Bucky never wanted to be held down like that again, so he stopped fighting. He stayed quiet instead of screaming at them to let him go. When Matt visited, he tried to be civil, but he dreaded those visits.

Because Matt visited him almost every single day. And every time, he tried to get closer to Bucky. He would sit next to him on the bed and read to him sometimes. Other times, he would bring Bucky things to keep him occupied, like a puzzle or a new book, pumping out pleased alpha pheromones when Bucky took them. Sometimes he just brought flowers.

Sometimes Matt would start talking about the future, about how he couldn’t wait until Bucky could come and live with him, and how he was happy to have them redo the kitchen together to get it exactly how Bucky wanted it. Matt seemed really proud of the fact that he would let Bucky still work, if he wanted to, “until we have our first pup at least,” he said, while Bucky swallowed down the bile rising in his throat.

Bucky had learnt that telling him no was no good. Telling him that he didn’t want that fell on deaf ears. Matt just told him he would feel better once he forgot about Steve. After about a week, when Bucky still argued, he’d suddenly smelt anger coming off Matt for the first time. And that was the moment Bucky stopped arguing. Because he got scared of what Matt might do.

So he didn’t fight and he didn’t argue. He let them bring him meals like a pet and he dutifully finished them. He sat and read or watched TV and pretended like being here wasn’t killing him. He took notice of every detail when they led him down the corridor and down in the elevator to the courtyard so he could have some time outside. But none of that helped. There was no way Bucky could get out of the building. There were too many people, too many doors and too many unknowns.

So he went along with them, not knowing what else to do, waiting, always waiting for something to change. For Steve to, by some miracle, find him.

He sometimes wondered if he did refuse to bond with Matt, and Matt did refuse to force a bite on him, what would happen. He knew Shield wouldn’t give up and let him go. Probably they’d find a worse alpha, one who had no problem with taking ownership over an omega that way. But maybe Matt wouldn’t care that much in the end. Maybe for all his words, if Bucky went into heat, Matt would bite anyway.

Bucky took a breath, trying to calm down. Without his scent blocker, anytime he got agitated or upset, he had to calm himself quickly, before his scent soured the room. Especially when Matt was with him. And right now, Matt was sat there next to him, reading to him. Bucky was not listening in the slightest, but he forced himself to just nod along whenever Matt paused in his reading to babble about their future now. God, that would be what his life would be—a never-ending hell of saying “yes alpha” to everything Matt said.

Matt closed the book, putting it down on the bedside table. He turned to Bucky, a warm smile on his face. “You seem to be doing better these past couple of days.”

Bucky just looked down and nodded slightly. If he said no, if he said what he really wanted to say, it would be bad for him.

“That’s great.” Matt sounded pleased. “The nurse told me that she’s monitoring you and she thinks the signs point to your heat coming back sooner rather than later, even though you were on suppressants for far too long.”

 _Don’t shudder_ , Bucky told himself. They had nurses on staff who were always coming in and taking his temperature or blood, which he hated. He also hated how happy Matt looked about that, like Bucky in heat was the prize at the end of a freaking rainbow.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking,” Matt continued, “I know you have some issues with physical contact, so I thought maybe we should try and get you more used to me. I don’t want your heat to be overwhelming for you.”

God, it would almost be sweet of him if Bucky wasn’t a fucking prisoner, Bucky thought, before realising exactly what Matt had said.

“I…I don’t—”

“Shh,” Matt cut him off. “I know it’s scary, but you know you’re safe with me.” He sounded like he truly believed that. “Anyway, I thought we could start with you letting me hold you for a bit? See how that feels?”

“No,” Bucky said automatically. He didn’t want anyone holding him unless it was Steve—the only person who was ever meant to hold him.

“No?” Matt said in surprise, eyebrows raising.

“I…I’m not ready,” Bucky tried to backtrack, moving away slightly without even really meaning to.

Matt looked at him for a moment, before letting out a huge sigh. “How about this?” he offered, picking up the book again. “I’ll read a bit more, but you come and rest your head on my shoulder?” He looked at Bucky expectantly. “How about that?”

 _Another no_ , Bucky screamed in his head, but he could interpret the undertone of Matt’s words. If that wasn’t okay…it wouldn’t be okay for that to not be okay. So Bucky, despite himself, and hating it with every fibre of his being, nodded.

Matt looked appeased. He moved back to how he was sitting before and opened the book again and then waited.

Bucky tentatively moved closer and closer until he could manage to rest his head down on Matt’s shoulder, without touching any of the rest of him, feeling disgusted with himself. He could smell Matt’s alpha musk, that scent that did nothing for him, that he couldn’t differentiate from a thousand other alphas, and started breathing through his mouth instead, trying to stay calm.

Except Matt shifted a little so his side and leg were now pressed against Bucky’s side and leg.

Bucky didn’t dare move as much as his body and his pre-bond was screaming at him to, as Matt started reading again. He was sure Matt could smell his anxiety, but he didn’t comment on it.

Bucky shut his eyes for a moment in despair, Matt too focused on reading to notice. He wanted Steve so badly, but every day his heat got closer and he was still trapped here.

He was starting to lose hope.

****

By day twenty-four, Bucky had made up his mind, the way he had two times before. Only this time, he really didn’t want to do it. But as Matt graduated to wrapping his arm round Bucky’s shoulders, and kissing his cheek when he left, Bucky realised it was the only thing he had left. He couldn’t take the chance that Matt would in the end force a bond bite on him. He wouldn’t let himself be raped and bred like little more than an animal. So this was the only way.

He hoped Steve would understand and forgive him. Had it been his choice, Steve must know that Bucky would never choose to leave him. He hated that Steve would hurt, hated it so much that he almost changed his mind twenty times a day, but he always came back to the same decision and realisation. That this would hurt them less.

He wouldn’t be taken from Steve. This way, he would always be Steve’s. Not the way he’d wanted, not the way he dreamed of, but forever.

He’d give himself a few more days and then that would be it. He couldn’t wait until his heat came. He might lose focus or be too ill to do it. So it had to be soon. He’d give himself a few days more to dream of Steve. And then that would be that.

“Hi there, how are you feeling?”

Bucky blinked, pulled from his thoughts, looking over as a young woman with reddish-brown hair entered his room, carrying a tray. She was new. Maria, her night-time equivalent, Skye, and the nurses were the only people he ever saw apart from Matt. He sometimes wondered if Matt had requested only females and non-alphas be allowed to ‘take care’ of him. This woman was a beta and had a kind looking face, but Bucky had learnt long ago not to trust that.

He just watched the new woman as she set the tray of food down on his table, not bothering to reply.

“I’m filling in for Skye today,” she explained, seemingly not bothered by his lack of response. “Looks like a nice meal,” she added as she smiled at him and poured him out some water. “Even has a slice of lemon drizzle cake.”

Bucky almost rolled his eyes to himself. Was his favourite cake on his file somewhere? God, did he miss baking. Missing Steve took up practically every one of his thoughts but baking and Nat were in there too. He hoped Nat was okay and the bakery was doing okay. He missed her a lot too. Being here reminded him of being in hospital and meeting her, and he wished so badly that even if he was stuck here, that he could have had her with him.

“My favourite is peanut butter and chocolate cake, but this looks good too,” the woman added and Bucky snapped his head up, regarding her carefully now. She was still smiling, but her eyes…her eyes were staring into his, practically drilling into him, her back to the camera Bucky had discovered was in his room, apparently for his welfare.

Bucky looked back at her, trying desperately to figure out if she was saying what he thought she was saying.

“Though actually, I did have this lemon blueberry cheesecake the other day which might have my favourite beat,” she mused, unwrapping the plastic cutlery that was on the tray for him.

Bucky’s eyes widened, his heart starting to pound in his chest.

“Here, eat,” she gestured. “Don’t want it to get cold.”

Bucky nodded slowly and moved closer to the tray table, picking up his fork to eat the stew on his plate. He chewed slowly, watching her as she collected the empty mug from the tea they’d brought him earlier.

“I’ll be back later,” she smiled again. “I’m Wanda, by the way.”

Bucky didn’t know what to think, but he tried to keep his face neutral, scooping up another forkful of stew, and watched as she left the room.

Steve was trying to get a message to him. He must be. Only Steve knew to say those cakes, only they knew the significance of them. He knew there was a camera in his room, but maybe there was a microphone too, so the woman, Wanda, couldn’t say anything without them hearing.

His heart soared. Steve was coming for him. He must be. Even as he thought it, the joy turned almost instantly to fear. Shield would hurt him. Bucky must be under the highest security and there was no way Steve could get to him, not without getting hurt or caught.

He wanted to cry, but he forced himself to keep eating, trying to keep himself looking calm. When he was done with his food, he curled up on the bed, turning his face away.

There was nothing he could do but wait. Wait and see if Wanda came back—if she could give him more clues. Pain tugged at his chest as it always did lately, pre-bond and being apart from Steve feeling like it was killing him. But he couldn’t do anything but wait. Wait and hope that Steve didn’t do anything that got him hurt, or worse.

Wait and pray that he was going to get out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the surprise guest at the end. I know I always use Wanda but I love her so idgaf. 
> 
> This chapter was pretty depressing, but I hope the ending made up for it a little? Let me know?
> 
> Once again thank you for being so invested in this story and so wonderful with your comments. I'm overwhelmed and amazed. Also quick update, I'm almost sure this will have 22 chapters. There might be a week between as I catch up with myself. 💜


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes surprise guest number two :D 
> 
> Minor warning for one line which references Bucky's planned method to kill himself.

At around eleven-thirty, Bucky woke to find himself in pain. And not his usual pain either. This was different. Cramps seemed to be crushing his stomach and he cried out without meaning to, writhing on the bed.

_Oh god, no_. He was going into heat. He must be. It had been a long time since he’d felt like this, but cramps had always been a first sign, though never as bad as this.

He tried to lie back and look like he was sleeping again, but he couldn’t—the pain was wracking his whole body now and he whimpered despite himself.

It didn’t take long for the door to open and one of the nurses to come in, confirming his suspicions that there was always someone watching him.

“Please, don’t,” he moaned out. He didn’t want them to call Matt to come there and he knew that was what they’d do as soon as they realised what was wrong. It was too early. He could barely move—there was no way he could stagger to the bathroom to get to the mirror that he'd intended on breaking. And now it seemed like maybe Steve was coming for him, so he didn’t want to go through with his plan anyway, but Steve was going to be too late. Pure horror rose up in him as another fierce cramp seemed to crush his stomach.

The nurse’s hand was on his forehead and she seemed concerned as she asked him what hurt, but all he did was groan back, clutching his stomach.

“What’s going on?” another voice asked, and Bucky managed to look over to see Wanda coming into the room now too. “What’s wrong?” she asked the nurse, hurrying over, looking worried when she saw the state Bucky was in.

“I’m not sure. I thought it might be his heat starting, but his head seems cool and he’s not showing any other symptoms.”

“If you’re not sure, I think we need to get him to hospital,” Wanda warned. “You know how important he is, if something happens to him…”

The nurse pressed her hand to Bucky’s face again as he let out another whimper. “It could just be his heat is coming on differently due to how long he was on suppressants?” she theorised. She paused for a second, while Bucky couldn’t help but let out another moan. “Thor’s on security duty, go and get him and we’ll know for sure.”

Wanda nodded and left the room, while the nurse fussed over him. “It’s okay, we’re going to see what’s wrong, just try and breathe,” she tried to soothe, while doing nothing to actually help him.

Bucky cowered away from her touch. “Please,” he managed to choke out. “I don’t want Matt, please don’t let them…” A few tears escaped his eyes as he curled himself up further, trying to ease the pain.

The nurse didn’t bother responding to that, she just stroked his hair back, Bucky flinching but in too much pain to move away further, the nurse saying soothing words that meant nothing.

Wanda was back in a few moments, bringing a huge blond alpha with her and for a moment, Bucky felt even more scared. Why were they bringing another alpha here?

“You needed my assistance?” the man, Thor, queried.

“Come closer, let him scent you,” the nurse requested.

Bucky frowned, grimacing in pain, but realised himself…if he was going into heat he would be begging for this alpha already, but he felt nothing but pain. No neediness, no slick, nothing.

Thor held his wrist under Bucky’s nose, but while his scent wasn’t unpleasant, it didn’t do anything for Bucky. He just scrunched up his face and tried to breathe through the next cramp.

“Hospital,” the nurse said decisively. “I think we should take him straight in. Can you carry him to one of the cars? I’ll call ahead and let them know we’re on our way. I need to call Fury and tell him what’s happening as well.” The nurse started moving, getting up from Bucky’s bed and he groaned as the movement jostled him.

“Of course. You should probably ask him to wake Luke and send him to the hospital, just in case?” Wanda suggested.

Bucky saw the nurse nodding back before Thor leant over him and then his strong arms were lifting him up, bridal style, as Bucky cried out again. Moving was jarring. At least he hurt too much to really process and be scared about being touched by an unknown alpha.

“There there, little one, we’re going to get you help,” Thor murmured to Bucky as he cradled him.

“We’ll take him down and get him into the car while you make your calls,” Wanda continued.

“I won’t be a minute, let me just grab my cell,” Bucky heard the nurse say, while Thor started moving.

Bucky was in too much pain to appreciate the fact that he was out of his room as Thor carried him down a few flights of stairs, Wanda behind them, before they got to the parking garage.

Wanda opened the door to a car and Thor carefully placed him slumped in the back seat, Bucky feeling the cool leather under his hands as he held onto the seat, Wanda getting in next to him from the other side, buckling him in.

Thor pulled out the garage as Bucky tried to take in where he was, but he couldn’t focus properly and it was dark out anyway. He shut his eyes, grimacing in pain, some part of him registering that they’d left the nurse behind when they were supposed to wait for her.

“Bucky, it’s okay,” Wanda told him, voice urgent. “Thor, pass me the water,” she gestured, and Thor reached back, holding a water bottle out to her, Bucky saw as he forced himself to open his eyes again. “Here,” she held out a small white pill. “Take this, it’ll make you feel better.”

Bucky eyed the pill for a moment in confusion. _Are they listening?_ he mouthed to her, too scared to ask what he wanted to.

Wanda’s face fell and she shook her head, eyes full of compassion. “No, Bucky, no. I’m so sorry. You’re okay now. Clint and Steve sent us.”

“He did?” Bucky breathed out, only really hearing Steve’s name, barely daring to hope, before he moaned again as another cramp wracked his body.

“Take it,” Wanda implored him. “I had to get you out of there, so I slipped something into your food. This will help ease it,” she promised.

Bucky groaned. “You did this to me?” he complained, but he took the pill and let her feed him some water even so. Steve trusted her and that was good enough for Bucky.

“I’m sorry. We had to. It was the best plan we could come up with in a short space of time.” Wanda capped the water, placing it in the cup holder in the door. “That should start working soon. I’m really sorry.” She looked genuinely upset.

Bucky shook his head, the pain no longer mattering to him. “Is Steve…is he okay?” he asked, eyes wide and worried.

Wanda nodded and Bucky felt like a weight lifted off him. “He is.” She paused. “Well, not _okay_ okay, but he’s holding on. I think it’s been driving him crazy that he couldn’t be involved in a physical way, but Clint said he’s been trying his best to keep him calm.”

Bucky smiled for what felt like the first time in months, before grimacing at another cramp. _Steve was okay. He was okay._ Pure joy ran through him. And he was out of there. They’d got him out. “Are you taking me to him?” They had to be. He had to see him.

“We’re taking you out of town,” Wanda explained, an apologetic look on her face, like she knew how much he was dying to see Steve. “Steve and Clint are going to meet us there in a few days. We have to make sure Shield doesn’t follow them, so they have to take precautions. Plus we want them to be looking for you in the wrong direction.”

“Can we call him?” Bucky asked hopefully, while disappointment at knowing he wasn’t going to see Steve today flooded over him.

Wanda grimaced, like she hated letting him down. “If they’re on schedule, they should be getting on a plane right now,” she said apologetically. “And just in case, we thought it was better not to contact them, in case Shield does catch up with them and uses their phone records to track us somehow.”

“Oh,” Bucky uttered, more disappointment running through him, as well as worry. “Is that likely?”

“Well hopefully not,” Wanda replied wryly. “But better safe than sorry. Steve wouldn’t forgive us if something happened to you.” She smiled at him gently. “It’s just a few more days,” she tried to placate him.

A few days. He’d see Steve in a few days. This was really happening. He was going to see Steve again. He wasn’t going to be forced to mate with Matt. He wasn’t stuck in that room, that prison, anymore. He could barely believe it.

“Thank you,” he told them, looking between Wanda and Thor, voice shuddering. “Thank you for helping me. Who are you?” he asked, knowing he was looking at them in disbelief, but he couldn’t believe what they’d done for him.

“We worked for Shield with Clint. But what they’ve been doing lately to omegas…” Wanda trailed off, face disgusted. “I’m so sorry for what they’ve done to you, Bucky.”

Bucky was touched. “Thank you,” he told her genuinely, before grimacing a little, cramps still there but feeling a little lessened already. Or maybe he was just too relieved to be bothered by them as much. “Both of you.” He looked to the front of the car. “You can’t go back now, can you?” he realised out loud.

“No, but we don’t want to. Shield has gone too far. Forced bonding…” Wanda’s breath hitched. “It’s despicable.”

“I…I don’t even know you and you risked everything for me,” Bucky said in amazement, feeling his eyes getting watery. Wanda and Thor couldn’t go back. They’d know they helped him when they didn’t appear at the hospital. Whatever their lives here had been, they were over now because of him.

“We weren’t going to be accomplices to rape,” Thor told him. “Don’t you worry yourself, little one, I’ll never regret this choice, neither of us will.” Wanda nodded along with him.

Bucky nodded back, a few tears escaping, overwhelmed at their kindness and just downright goodness.

Wanda looked at him sadly. “Bucky, can I hug you?” she asked.

Bucky looked at her, surprised that she’d asked. He wasn’t used to people asking to touch him lately. Well, Matt sort of did, but it wasn’t like he could say no, so it wasn’t really a question.

“You just seem like you might need one,” she explained softly.

Bucky nodded, suddenly feeling overwhelmed as Wanda wrapped her arms round him, awkwardly leaning over, her beta scent soothing him. It felt so nice to have some human contact that wasn’t forced on him and Wanda was so small, it felt like there was nothing threatening about her. He hugged her back before gasping a little in pain again, but it was definitely easing off.

She stroked down his back comfortingly. “It’ll stop soon.” She squeezed him a little tighter before letting go. “I’m sorry it took so long to get you out, but I had to get onto your care team without them being suspicious,” she explained, face full of regret. “As it was, I only got tonight’s shift by giving Skye ‘food poisoning’,” she said with little air quotes.

Bucky huffed in amusement. “You did that?” Skye hadn’t been so bad, but at the same time, she’d help keep him there and didn’t seem to see a problem with forcing him to be with Matt. So she was, in fact, awful, Bucky realised.

“Eh, I never liked her anyway,” Wanda smirked.

“You saved me,” Bucky told her, feeling like he’d never been so grateful in his life. He let out a huge breath of relief, the stress that had overtaken his body for the last few weeks somehow melting away from him. He was going to be back in Steve’s arms in a few days. Shield would never get him again, he knew Steve would protect him.

Wanda smiled back at him warmly, but with a little worry in her eyes. “Let’s wait until we’re out the state before we celebrate,” she said, letting out a breath. “Then you can bake us something wonderful as a thank you,” she grinned.

Bucky beamed back at her, ideas already forming in his head. “I’d love to.”

****

Bucky didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t the gorgeous beach house they arrived at after almost a whole day of driving, switching cars and disposing of phones along the way.

It was dark out as Wanda led him inside, before she guided him to the living room, closing the shutters before switching on a couple of side lights, bathing the room in a soft glow.

It was a really nice place, with cream coloured walls, typically decorated with seashells and starfish ornaments and lots of blue accents. It reminded Bucky of the place his family had stayed at a few times on vacation when he was younger.

Thor followed behind them, carrying a big duffel bag with him, while Bucky gazed around.

“You must be tired, little one, you should go on upstairs and get to bed,” Thor commented as he put the bag down near the blue and white striped couch and stretched his frankly humongous arms up and out, yawning.

“Um, I’m really grateful, but could you…” Bucky trailed off and stepped back slightly. What was he doing? Thor was perfectly nice, there was no need to be pissing off the huge alpha.

“What is it?” Thor pressed, a kind but curious look on his face.

“I, um…” Bucky glanced at Wanda, who gave him an encouraging smile, so he forced himself to continue. “The ‘little one’ thing? I’m not really, um, little? Maybe you could call me something else?” he asked tentatively. “If you want?” he added hesitantly.

The little smile on Thor’s face fell. “I’m so sorry. I will call you Bucky, of course, because that is your name. Wanda, why didn’t you tell me I was doing that?” he frowned at her.

Wanda shrugged. “I knew you didn’t mean anything by it.” She looked at Bucky. “He doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s just his instinct, wanting to look after you,” she said with a little smile.

“I’m really very sorry,” Thor added genuinely. “To me, most people are little, but I certainly didn’t mean anything by it. You are a very strong and capable omega from what I’ve seen.”

Bucky blushed, feeling like an ass, embarrassed with himself. “Thank you,” he stuttered. “I didn’t mean to make a big deal of it.”

Thor waved him off. “No, no. You should always feel comfortable telling us whatever you need to. You’re safe here,” he promised.

“Could I…” Bucky started, feeling like that was true, but still not wanting to be on his own. “I think I want to stay down here for a while, if that’s okay?” He looked at the couch. He’d been on his own for far too long and the thought of going upstairs to a room he didn’t know, by himself…he just didn’t want to.

“Of course.” Wanda grabbed a cream and grey blanket from the comfy chair by the window and held it out to him. “Here, you sit and rest. I’m just going to go upstairs and check out the rooms, air them out a bit.”

Bucky nodded, tiredness catching up with him a little now. He’d napped a few times on the journey, but it was really late now. “Thank you,” he told them.

He settled into the corner of the couch, pulling the blanket over himself. Everything smelt foreign and different, but it was so much better than the sterile smell of Shield or the scent of Matt that had started to linger everywhere. He pulled the blanket up to his chin, tucking his legs underneath himself. He could really do with a shower, but that would have to wait until morning now, he didn’t have the energy for that.

“May I sit, li…Bucky,” Thor corrected himself as Wanda left.

“Um, sure,” Bucky nodded, only slightly hesitant. Thor had been friendly and jovial in the car and had basically helped save his life and Bucky knew he had no reason to mistrust him, but still there was that niggle there. Maybe that would always be there with any alpha but Steve or Nat.

“I am mated if that helps,” Thor added out of nowhere, lifting back his long hair to show his neck and a well-healed bonding mark.

“Oh,” Bucky breathed out. He hated the fact that it did help.

Thor sat down next to him, but not too close, letting out a sigh. He must have been exhausted—he’d been driving for hours without a proper break. “My Jane is a scientist. We spend a lot of time apart,” Thor told him. “It’s very hard to be without her. I understand that you must be going through something similar right now.”

Bucky nodded, feeling terrible for him. It must be awful to be apart from his mate for long periods of time. Bucky could only imagine how hellish his time would have been if he and Steve had bonded. Pre-bond was bad enough. Of course, if they’d been bonded, none of this would have happened. “Steve and I…we’re in pre-bond.”

Thor nodded thoughtfully. “You are soulmates then. That’s wonderful.”

Bucky frowned a little in confusion. “We are?”

“Indeed,” Thor beamed. “A soul-bond, or pre-bond as some call it, is very rare. You must be absolutely perfect together.” His face suddenly fell. “Oh, you poor thing,” he breathed out. “You must hurt all the time?”

Bucky was touched by the kindness on his face. He nodded, blinking back tears, looking away. He’d gotten used to it in some ways over the last couple of weeks, but the tug in his chest and the ache in his stomach never stopped. It was a dull pain, always present, but so normal by now that it had just become how he was.

Thor patted his shoulder, extremely lightly, and Bucky looked back over at him, trying hard not to instinctively flinch at the contact as Thor moved his hand back. He was too used to Matt’s unwanted touch. Thor was fine. He wasn’t going to hurt him.

“You’ll be alright, I promise you that,” Thor said, voice absolutely sure. “Your Steve will be here soon,” he added.

Bucky nodded, mostly to himself, repeating Thor’s words in his head. Steve would be there soon. Everything would be okay when Steve got there. Everything would be okay.

“Perhaps you could tell me about him and how you met?” Thor requested.

Bucky found himself actually smiling a little. “You don’t know?”

“Bits and pieces,” Thor shrugged with a kind smile. “But I’d like to hear your side. And it might help, to talk about him for a while,” he suggested.

Bucky’s heart felt warm as he thought back to first meeting Steve. It hadn’t been that long, but it felt like an age. Maybe Thor was right though. As he started to tell him about Steve, he started feeling lighter.

And Steve would be there soon. They’d be together soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly super nervous about this chapter. I'd love to know if you liked it?
> 
> Eeeeeee next chapter! 😍 Can't wait for you to read it. Except I have to finish it 😂


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets used to the beach house with Wanda and Thor.

Bucky was pressed against something warm. It was nice. It felt sturdy. He opened his eyes slowly to find himself nestled up against a large blond alpha, but it wasn’t _his_ large blond alpha. He startled before his brain kicked in and realised it was Thor.

“You slept well, little, um, Bucky,” Thor corrected himself with a grimace as he peered down at Bucky, noticing he was awake.

Bucky blinked against the light that was now coming in through the gaps in the shutters as he moved away a little, taking in that he was still on the couch and had clearly at some point slumped his head onto Thor’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to make you stay here all night, I’m sorry,” he hurried to say, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh that’s all right,” Thor shrugged, before lifting his arms and stretching. “You deserved the rest and I didn’t want to leave you down here alone or carry you upstairs without your permission, so I stayed.”

Bucky felt a little like crying. Thor was so nice. He’d started to suspect that Steve and Nat were the only decent alphas out there, but apparently he was wrong. And he had slept better than he had in ages, he realised, even as the pang of his soul-bond reared its painful head again.

“Wanda is sleeping upstairs,” Thor told him as he stood up. “Would you like some coffee?” he offered with a yawn.

Bucky nodded, stretching his legs out, pushing the blanket away. “Thank you.” He hadn’t had coffee in weeks, he realised. Shield hadn’t let him, saying it was bad for him and his fertility. Bucky scrunched up his face in disgust as he thought back, then willed the thoughts away, trying to focus on the present.

Thor headed for the duffel bag he’d brought with him, pulling out a package of coffee. “There are some fresh clothes in here also if you want to shower?” he offered as he dug around. Then he grimaced. “Oh I am a moron. I completely forgot.” He lifted out a plastic bag, pulling out a blue sweater from within. “Your Steve sent this. For comfort. I am so sorry I forgot about it until now,” Thor said apologetically, holding it out to him.

Bucky frowned in confusion, not really understanding the big deal, until he grasped the fabric and then caught the smell. Steve’s scent. It was all over it. Bucky let out a tearful gasp as he grabbed it and pressed his face into it, inhaling deeply. Oh god, it was everything. He didn’t care that Thor was watching, he just kept breathing it in, the scent actually dulling the pain he’d been feeling for so long. His alpha had sent him this. He’d thought of Bucky that way, knew what he’d need while he waited for him. Bucky had thought he might never smell that scent again.

He tore off the long-sleeved grey t-shirt he was wearing, not even caring that it was in front of Thor, and then pulled on the light sweater, enveloping himself in Steve’s scent, letting out a happy little purr as he crossed his arms over his chest, shoving the too-long sleeves under his nose.

“Better?” Thor asked with a smile as he watched him.

Bucky nodded, inhaling again, smiling to himself, his body so content in that moment. He wanted to roll around in it, he was that happy.

Thor chuckled a little. “I’ll be right back,” he told him, lifting the bag of coffee.

Bucky nodded and wandered over to the comfy chair by the window, still keeping the sweater arms pressed against his face, as he peeked out the shutters. He didn’t know if he was supposed to open them so he didn’t, but he was shocked to find the place was right on the beach. As in the ocean was right there, visible from the house. He must have been really out of it last night to not have noticed how close they were. It was beautiful and so peaceful looking. He hadn’t been to the ocean in so long. He couldn’t wait for Steve to see it.

He settled down in the chair and tried not to worry as he wondered how long he would have to wait for Steve. Steve was smart and huge and he had Clint with him. They would be okay. Thor and Wanda didn’t seem worried. They just said they were taking a different, more complicated route, to ensure no one followed them. It apparently included flying across country in the other direction, leading Shield entirely the wrong way if they were following, and then driving back a different way. That’s why it would take them longer. Not because Steve was off putting himself in danger anywhere. He would be there soon.

Bucky tried to forget his concerns and rubbed the soft fabric of Steve’s sweater against his cheek, basking in it, feeling better than he had in weeks. He couldn’t wait to see his alpha.

“Did you sleep well?” Wanda’s voice interrupted him and he looked up to see her walking over, dressed in a cream-coloured long beachy-looking dress, looking well rested.

“Mmm,” Bucky nodded. “Do you think Steve will get here today?” he couldn’t help asking.

Wanda gave him a sympathetic look. “More likely tomorrow or maybe even the day after. They’ve got a lot of ground to cover and Clint said they might double back a few times.” She settled on the arm of the couch, facing him.

Bucky felt his heart lurch with disappointment and had to remind himself that it was okay. It was better they take longer and stay safe.

“I thought maybe we could send Thor out shopping for ingredients and we could do some baking?” Wanda offered. “I heard you’re basically the best baker in the whole world.” She grinned at him and Bucky was once again struck by just how kind Wanda was. She obviously understood how much he’d missed being able to bake.

Bucky felt himself turning red at the praise. “Steve exaggerates,” he murmured, looking down, feeling a rush of affection from his alpha boasting about him.

“It was Clint who told me that, actually,” Wanda commented, looking up as Thor came back in holding two mugs of coffee, to which Wanda made grabby hands and smiled gratefully as Thor passed her one and then set Bucky’s down for him on the side table next to him before heading out the room again. “Before all this, in fact. Used to always tell me about this bakery, Natasha’s, that he loved.”

Bucky suddenly felt like the worst friend in the world. _Natasha_. With everything that had happened, it hadn’t occurred to him to ask about her. “How is Nat, is she doing okay?” he asked, sitting up in his seat.

Wanda looked troubled for a moment. “I don’t really know her, I’m afraid. I think she was helping Steve however she could.”

“Can I call her?” Bucky asked. He couldn’t call Steve, but Shield wouldn’t be after Nat, he should be able to call her.

Thor walked back in with his own coffee, clearly hearing his question. “Do you know her number? I’m afraid we don’t have it.”

“I remember it,” Bucky confirmed. He never memorised numbers anymore, but Nat’s…Nat’s was seared into his brain, having been the only number he called for so, so long.

Thor dug into the duffel bag, coming up with what seemed to be a brand new phone. “It may be best to call her at work, just in case?” he offered.

Bucky nodded, taking the shiny phone. He knew the bakery number too, seeing as it used to be his work number. He glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was early, only just past eight, but the bakery opened over half an hour ago. He dialled and waited, excitement running through him.

“Natasha’s Bakery, how can I help?”

“Nat,” Bucky breathed out in happiness at hearing his friend’s voice for the first time in weeks.

“Oh my god, hi,” Nat answered, sounding choked up. Nat never sounded choked up. “I’m gonna call this number right back, okay?”

Bucky’s happiness stilled for a moment in surprise. “Okay?”

The line went dead and Bucky stared at the phone in his hand. “She’s gonna call back,” he said, at Wanda and Thor’s curious looks.

It took a few minutes before the phone started ringing.

“Sorry, I’m on Sam’s phone now, upstairs. I thought just in case…” Nat trailed off. “God, are you okay, Bucky?”

Bucky felt tears in his eyes and noticed Wanda politely turned away, while Thor gestured that he was going back to the kitchen, miming eating. “I’m okay. I’m safe.”

“Thank god,” Nat breathed out. “I’ve been so worried for you.”

“Is the bakery doing okay?” Bucky sniffled a little.

Nat let out a little incredulous laugh. “Is the _bakery_ doing okay?” She laughed again. “Are you kidding me, Barnes? That’s what you’re worried about? I’ve been worried about you being locked up and you’ve been worried about the bakery?”

Bucky couldn’t help laughing a little too, feeling himself calming down considerably. “It’s important to me!” he protested.

“I know it is,” Nat replied kindly, “but we’re doing just fine. I mean, people are missing your cakes, of course, but I don’t want you to worry about any of that. I’m just so glad you’re safe.”

“Me too,” Bucky sighed. He wished he could be there with her, but he was happy that everything was okay for her.

“Steve has been a nightmare, he’s been so scared for you.”

Bucky’s heart swelled. “You saw him?”

“Oh yeah, gave him your letters, tried to keep him calm. He’s not with you yet, is he? Cause if he was, I doubt he’d have let go of you yet,” Nat said, a smirk in her voice.

Bucky smiled to himself at the idea of that. “No, he’s not, but he’s on his way.” He was pretty sure when Steve got there, that it would be the other way round and he’d attach himself to Steve and never let go again.

They talked for a little while longer, Nat catching him up on what had been happening and Bucky telling her about his rescue, until Nat finally, regretfully admitted she had to go, having left Sam in charge of the bakery.

“Be safe, Bucky,” she told him as they said their goodbyes.

“I will,” Bucky promised. He paused for a moment. “I…I don’t know how long it’ll be till I can come back.”

“I know,” Nat replied softly, a little sadness in her voice. “But what matters is that you’re safe. You call or text me on Sam’s phone anytime, okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky nodded, feeling a little emotional at saying goodbye. It felt like he was saying goodbye for a long time. Almost like he wouldn’t be going back.

“Be happy, okay? Tell Steve that I expect him to take great care of you. And you take care of him too,” she added, making it feel even more like a real goodbye and not just the end of a phone call. “He’s a really good guy.”

“He is,” Bucky smiled softly, a warm golden glow settling over him, confusing his sadness. Steve was wonderful. And of course he’d see Nat again. He was just feeling maudlin. “Thank you, Nat.”

“Anything, anytime, anyplace, Bucky Barnes,” she replied, a smile in her voice.

Bucky took a deep breath as he hung up. He glanced over at Wanda, who had been emptying the duffel bag and organising things from it into piles, not listening in, but hovering a little as though she knew Bucky might need the support.

He sort of did. But he also felt like being alone suddenly. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he stated, setting the phone down and standing up.

Wanda gave him a soft, understanding smile. “It’s straight up and to the left.” She passed him a bundle of clothes as well as scent blocker.

Shield hadn’t let him have any scent blocker. He was touched that Wanda thought that he might want it. And he did. Scent blocker made him feel a little like he had armour on. And though he didn’t need it here, he still connected the idea of it with safety. “Thanks.” He smiled softly at her and took them, heading out to the hallway and stairs.

He found an untouched bedroom next to the bathroom and left the clothes there, carefully undressing and leaving Steve’s sweater there on the bed, treating it like it was made of glass.

When he finally got into the shower, the hot water felt wonderful. He turned it up as hot as he could take, standing there, letting water cascade down him. Finally he felt something inside him break and a huge sob made its way out of him.

He scrubbed himself down with body wash and shampooed his hair three times, trying to get every inch of himself clean, as tears streamed down his face as the past weeks caught up with him.

It took a long time before the tears stopped.

****

“This is truly an incredible feat,” Thor pronounced, staring with wonder.

Bucky blushed, while Wanda gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I think it’s very mean that we have to wait for Steve until we can eat it,” she joked.

Bucky grinned at her and then looked at the cake again. He’d remade the peanut butter chocolate masterpiece he’d once made for Steve and thrown away. But this time it was even better. It was five tiers and he’d added caramel in there too, with shards of tempered chocolate sticking out the top. And it looked beautiful. Maybe the best cake he’d ever made, if he did say so himself.

And god had it been cathartic. After his shower, he’d felt a bit better. Lighter somehow. He’d been doing so well before Shield took him and he refused to let them set him back. He wasn’t going to let the last few weeks ruin his life. He’d allowed himself his little breakdown and now he was done. He was going to move forward.

Thor had gone shopping for him and they’d all spent most of the day baking, partly clearly Thor and Wanda trying to keep his mind from other things, but also they just seemed to really enjoy it too. And Bucky had enjoyed giving them tasks and helping them when needed and it felt so good to be baking again, to be creating something. For maybe the first time, he could imagine how proud his mother would be of what he’d created, without feeling a terrible pang of despair and loss. Instead he felt sad but somehow warm at the idea that maybe she could see him somehow and was happy for him. Maybe his whole family was rooting for him. He felt like he’d finally broken through the dark cloud that had hovered over him for years.

“Phew, I don’t know about you, but I could do with some fresh air after all this work,” Thor smiled, wiping his forehead exaggeratedly. “Beach?” He tilted his head at them.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Wanda agreed. “Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll just tidy this up a bit.”

Bucky undid the apron he had on, because he’d redressed in Steve’s sweater and had been trying to keep it clean. “Are you sure?” That didn’t seem very fair.

Wanda smiled kindly. “It’s just a few dishes. You go ahead and I’ll come out and join you. Go, get some fresh air. You need it.” She poked him in the arm lightly.

Bucky smiled at her kindness. And fresh air sounded great.

“She just wants to lick the bowls,” Thor grinned, and Wanda hit him in the arm, Thor letting out an over the top pained cry and jerking backwards.

“Go, before I change my mind,” she scowled jokingly.

Thor grinned back, raising his hands, and then headed through to the living room, so Bucky followed, watching as Thor unlocked the doors that led out to the porch and down to the sand. It was still light out even as the evening rolled in and they both stopped to roll up their pants, pulling off their socks, and then he was running with Thor down to the ocean.

Bucky pulled out the hair-tie he’d had holding his hair back for baking as he ran and the wind blew through it and he basked in the feeling. He hadn’t felt this free in a really long time.

****

Steve felt like he was practically vibrating as Clint pulled into the driveway of the house.

It looked to be a beautiful place, but Steve could barely see it. Bucky was in there. Clint’s friends had taken him there. They’d got him out. After lots of tiring travelling that sometimes felt endless, making sure Shield wasn’t tracking them, ensuring they were one hundred percent safe, Bucky was finally only a few feet away.

He had the car door open before Clint had even fully stopped.

“Hey, be careful!” Clint yelled at him, but it was in a jovial tone. He’d been a saint, putting up with Steve for the past few weeks and Steve knew he understood how much this meant to him. He could never express in words how thankful he was for Clint and his friends.

He burst through the front door, a little concerned that it wasn’t locked, as he followed the hallway through to a living room, already calling out for Bucky.

He paused as someone called his name and then Wanda appeared from another room, eyes wide. “Steve!” Wanda beamed at him. They had met a few times before at work and he’d always liked her.

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve couldn’t waste time on pleasantries right now, as thankful as he was to her. His eyes darted around, looking for any sign of the brunet.

“He’s on the beach with Thor,” Wanda told him, a hugely happy smile on her face, clearly understanding his lack of manners, already moving and gesturing to him. “C’mon.”

Steve nodded. He didn’t know Thor personally, but Clint trusted him so he was sure Bucky was safe. Even so, the idea of Bucky being with another alpha…it made Steve stupidly jealous.

He followed after Wanda quickly as she led him to the back porch and out to the sand, nodding towards two figures down by the surf, one of them up to his knees in the water, and the other…the other with his feet just in, screeching and jumping a little when a new wave hit, soft brown hair blowing like crazy in the wind, wearing a blue sweater.

Steve was stunned into stillness for a moment. Bucky was really here. He wasn’t some beautiful mirage or a figment of Steve’s imagination. It was really him. After weeks of being apart, Bucky was right there. Steve’s heart pounded, the pre-bond finally settling after weeks of torture, now replaced with pure longing.

Steve broke himself out of his stupor and then he was striding forward, breaking into an almost run, kicking up sand as he went, calling out Bucky’s name.

Bucky startled and spun round, perfect frozen blue eyes going wide, Steve’s name on his lips except Steve got there before he could speak, and flung his arms round him, feeling like he was about to have a heart attack at any moment, completely overwhelmed. Bucky was finally back in his arms where he was always supposed to be.

“Oh god, Bucky, fuck, I missed you so much,” Steve murmured, running his hands over him, feeling that he was really there, flesh and blood, before pulling back so he could hold his face and take in every inch of him, from those expressive big eyes, to his little chin dimple, to the tiny bump at the top of his ear. Every inch of him looked perfect. “Are you okay, did they hurt you? I swear to god, I’ll kill them—”

Bucky’s hands grabbed onto his face in return as he shook his head. “I’m okay.” A few tears fell from his eyes and the wind whipped his hair in front of his face. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He was shuddering under Steve’s hands, trembling fiercely. Steve pushed back his hair behind his ear before taking hold of his hips to try to steady him, holding him close.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Steve choked out, getting tearful himself. He’d failed Bucky in every way. He could hardly believe Bucky even wanted to talk to him, let alone let Steve hold him.

Bucky shook his head again, staring into Steve’s eyes. “It’s not your fault, Stevie.” Steve started to protest, but Bucky put his finger against Steve’s lips. “Shh, it’s not. We’re okay now. We’re okay,” Bucky soothed him, his other hand stroking his cheek.

“Bucky,” Steve choked out, heart clenching at Bucky’s sweet forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve Bucky.

Bucky’s lips were on his before he could say anything else and then he couldn’t remember anything he’d wanted to say. He pulled Bucky as close as he could, tasting salt air on his lips, holding him close as their lips pressed together fiercely, all the worry and pain poured into it turned into fire and desire.

“Aw, I knew you would be adorable,” a voice rang out loudly, Steve pushing down a growl as Bucky pulled away, turning his head to look over at Thor. Steve tightened his hold on Bucky’s hips.

“This is my Stevie,” Bucky beamed, looking over his shoulder and Steve’s heart felt like it might explode.

“We’ve heard of each other but never met,” Thor waved over at him, perhaps sensing it was best to not get too near them right then. “I’m Thor. It’s been an honour to help return you to your soulmate.”

Steve looked at him and then Bucky curiously.

“Thor says the pre-bond is a soul-bond. Like soulmates,” Bucky explained with a happy little smile, returning his attention to Steve.

Steve smiled widely, purely ecstatic at how happy Bucky looked about that fact. “I know,” he told him softly, still beaming.

“You did?” Bucky frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Steve shrugged. “I thought it was obvious.” That, and he hadn’t wanted to scare Bucky away by saying it out loud, but he’d felt it from the moment he’d saw him.

Bucky frowned even deeper at him. “Well how was I supposed to know? I haven’t done this before,” he grumbled.

God, Steve had missed that face. Smiling Bucky was his favourite, of course, but grumpy Bucky was far too adorable. “I missed you,” Steve let out a sigh, tugging Bucky a little closer, pressing a kiss to his temple. He found he was thrilled that Bucky was wearing scent blocker, because an irrational part of him didn’t want Thor to be smelling Bucky’s real scent, but at the same time, he hated it. He needed to press his face into Bucky’s neck and smell that gorgeous scent desperately.

A sweet smile appeared on Bucky’s face. “You got the letter?” he asked. “Did you understand the—”

Steve nodded. “It’s all that kept me going, sweetheart, thank you.” It really had been. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d read that second one, sometimes just tracing his hands over the paper as if it could bring him closer to Bucky.

Bucky sighed a little in relief, leaning in and wrapping himself around Steve again.

Steve couldn’t help himself, pulling his head back and gently tilting Bucky’s chin up with his hand so he could kiss him again. As much as he meant for it to be a sweet, soft kiss, it soon got more heated.

Bucky moaned against him, making Steve’s hindbrain proud, as he pressed into Bucky’s mouth with his tongue, tasting him, their bodies pressed tightly against each other.

A cough interrupted them. “There are many, many rooms upstairs, you know. Just so you’re aware,” Thor said jovially.

Steve frowned, forcing himself to break the kiss, his sweet Bucky whimpering a little when he did. “Thank you for that,” he scowled jokingly at Thor. “We should go inside though. It’s a little chilly out here,” Steve realised, instantly worried about Bucky and if he was wearing enough layers, rubbing his hands down his arms.

“It’s summer and I’m wearing a sweater,” Bucky frowned.

 _His_ sweater, Steve beamed with pride inside. “But there’s a breeze,” Steve argued, pouting a little.

Bucky rolled his eyes, grabbing Steve’s hand and started to pull him back towards the house. “Alphas,” he muttered to himself, and Steve knew he was probably rolling his eyes.

He smiled to himself, so much happiness overwhelming him now as Bucky pulled him forward, his hand tingling under Bucky’s grip as he tightened his hold, not wanting Bucky to let go for anything.

He finally had Bucky back and he would never let him go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG happiness! Turns out I was screwing with you last chapter, trying to make you think Steve might not be okay 😂
> 
> I hope you liked this one! Let me know? (especially as I have a crappy day tomorrow and honestly just made sure to get this up so I could read your comments and cheer myself up 😍)
> 
> I've added the chapter count btw 😭 Next chapter is currently more than double the usual word count though so there's that to look forward to. I just wrote the word Epilogue on my doc 😭 *endless weeping*


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve finally have some alone time.

Bucky barely listened as Clint and Steve talked to Wanda and Thor. He was too busy being curled up against Steve, face tucked against his chest, head on his shoulder, their hands entangled. All he wanted was to be alone with Steve. But he knew it was important that they discuss Shield. He just couldn’t bring himself to listen much.

Steve kept talking, but also kept turning his head to nuzzle against Bucky every time Bucky moved slightly, his arm firmly wrapped around Bucky’s shoulders. It was bliss. Bucky felt like he was living in a dream. He felt safe and secure and cosy and just so happy.

“So for now we stay put?” Steve was saying when Bucky tuned back in.

Clint nodded. “It’s safe here. My friend Sharon is still within Shield and she texted to let me know they have no clue where you guys are.”

“And this was my brother’s house, but no one would easily connect that to me, since we had different surnames,” Thor spoke up.

Bucky noticed the sadness in his eyes as he said it and the use of past tense and wondered if Thor had lost his brother in the snap. “Thank you for letting us hide here,” he spoke up.

“Yes, thank you,” Steve said, looking gratefully at Thor. “All of you.”

Bucky tucked his head against Steve’s neck. “How long are we staying here?” he couldn’t help asking.

“Well, I’m going to head back home in a day or two. Shield have no evidence that I had anything to do with this,” Clint replied. “And Sharon wants to work with me to try and setup an omega rights group.” Clint looked a little forlorn and smiled sadly over at Bucky. “We’re not giving up. I don’t want them to ever treat anyone the way they treated you.”

Bucky blinked, feeling a little overcome with emotion. “That’s amazing,” he smiled in disbelief at Clint, so thankful that there were still people who cared and wanted to do something about it.

“You’re sure Shield won’t be able to do anything to you?” Steve added, voice full of concern.

“They might think I helped, but they have no evidence.” Clint shrugged. “I’m not worried.”

“Can I help?” Bucky found himself asking. “I want to help with your group.”

“Once we get up and running, yeah,” Clint smiled. “For now, I think you’ve earned some rest.”

Bucky smiled back gratefully at him. Clint was right about that, but he was still excited to do his best to help. He couldn’t help thinking about all the omegas younger than him right now, who might go through even worse than he had as they came of age. He couldn’t let things go that way for them. He was so, so lucky that he had not only friends who were willing to put themselves on the line for him, but perfect strangers too. He wanted to be that help for another omega.

“What about you guys?” Steve asked, looking at Wanda and Thor.

“I’m planning to fly over and stay with my Jane in London,” Thor beamed. “She’s going to be very happy about that, we’ve been arguing for months about one of us moving to be with the other.”

“That’s great,” Bucky smiled at him, happy to see how pleased Thor looked. It made him feel better about Thor not being able to go back to his job. Maybe this was what he’d wanted all along, so he wasn’t too torn up about leaving Shield?

“My friend already offered me a job at his computer company in Virginia,” Wanda spoke up. She gave Bucky a knowing look, probably realising how guilty he felt. “We did make plans for this, you know,” she smiled. “Don’t you worry about us. And I’m going to do everything I can for omega rights too,” she said determinedly.

Bucky was glad to hear that, but at the same time, a little sadness came over him. He felt like he’d just made three new friends and now they were all going to be leaving. He turned his head back to Steve. “What about us?” he asked Steve softly, tightening his grip on his hand.

Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze back.

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you want,” Thor answered before Steve. “It’s a lovely little town. Perhaps we could take a walk, show you main street, get you situated?” he suggested.

Bucky liked that idea, he really did. But the biggest part of him just wanted Steve. They hadn’t been alone in so long.

“Maybe we should do that tomorrow?” Wanda suggested, giving Bucky an understanding look. Bucky was learning she was really very perceptive.

Thor seemed to follow her gaze and stared at them for a moment before apparently catching on. “Oh! Indeed!” he laughed a little. Then he stretched, getting to his feet. “How’s about _we_ go and grab some food?” he suggested, looking at Wanda and Clint. “There used to be this little place down the beach that did great hot dogs, we could see if it’s still there?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Clint agreed. “These two probably need some time to catch up,” he added with a little smirk, while Thor gave them a wink.

Bucky kind of wanted to smother himself with a cushion. He’d definitely turned bright red.

Wanda gave them an apologetic look as she herded the boys out the door. “We’ll bring something back for you. C’mon you two,” she said, mouthing _sorry_ at them as they left, the sound of the front door shutting taking the sound of their voices with it.

And finally, it was just him and Steve.

He moved so he could see Steve’s face, to find him gazing adoringly at him. If Bucky hadn’t already been red, he would have blushed from that look. “You look all sappy,” he teased, still amazed that he had the ability to make Steve look like that.

“That’s happy,” Steve corrected, still with that same dopey expression on his face. He shifted a little, letting his hand rest on Bucky’s leg, and then his face turned more serious. “Buck…I…” He faltered and paused before swallowing. “What did they do to you?” He spoke softly, as though scared of the answer. “Wanda said they had you locked in a room?”

He sounded so distraught, it hurt Bucky’s ears. Bucky looked away and let out a breath. “You got me out. We don’t need to talk about it anymore.” He never wanted to think about it again if he could help it.

Steve still sounded broken. “I just…I need to know if you’re okay?”

“I’m sitting in your lap, of course I’m okay,” Bucky tried, looking at Steve again, his joke falling flat.

“Please, Buck?” Steve pushed gently.

Bucky sighed, looking down. He understood why Steve wanted to know, but it was hard to talk about. “I…it was hard.” He paused and took a breath. “It was really hard. I mean, they let me have books and TV and stuff, but I asked if I could bake and they said the kitchen was too dangerous,” he scoffed. “Sometimes they let me go out to this courtyard bit they had, but mostly they kept me in a room.” He refused to say ‘my room’. He glanced at Steve and then looked down at his own hands. “Matt came to visit almost every day,” he added quietly.

Steve tensed up. Bucky felt it and glanced hesitantly at Steve to find his handsome face marred by anger.

“Did he…did he do anything to you?” Steve choked out, gritting his teeth, his other hand gripping Bucky’s waist a little tighter.

Bucky shook his head quickly. “I’m still just yours, I promise,” he rushed out.

Steve’s face softened considerably. “Oh, Bucky, no. I just meant…” He paused and took a moment, like he was deciding on his words. “If something had happened…if Matt had…” He trailed off like he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He looked into Bucky’s eyes with determination. “You would still be mine. It wouldn’t change how I feel about you one iota.”

“Well it didn’t happen,” Bucky confirmed.

“I would have killed him,” Steve said bluntly, fire in his eyes. “I still want to actually. Him and anyone at Shield who had a part in this.”

“I just want us to be together. I don’t want to ever think about Shield again,” Bucky countered. “Please can we just talk about us and not them? Please? They don’t deserve any more of our time.”

The fact was, Bucky wasn’t stupid. There wasn’t going to be any justice here. Shield wouldn’t be punished, because so many people wouldn’t see a problem with what they’d done. Matt hadn’t done anything but act like an alpha was supposed to, possibly actually nicer than really expected from some alphas. It didn’t matter that Bucky had been so scared and low that he’d considered killing himself. It was probably just another thing to use against him—saying omegas are too emotional to think straight. So he knew he couldn’t do anything about what happened to him. All he could do was deal with it how he wanted to. And he wanted to forget.

Steve leant in and kissed him gently, surprising Bucky and setting his body alight. “You’re right. They’ve taken too much from us already.” He pressed another short kiss to Bucky’s lips. “What do you want to do, sweetheart? I’ll do anything you want.”

“Shower,” Bucky blurted instantly. He wanted Steve’s scent back. “Together,” he added, only slightly shakily, in case Steve had any doubt about what he meant.

Steve’s face softened and looked a little concerned. “Are you sure?”

“Steven,” Bucky said firmly, “I am _fine_ , okay? It was hard and horrible and a million other things, but I’m back with you now and I want to be with you. Now,” he added resolutely.

Steve moved so quickly, Bucky couldn’t help the surprised squawk that came out of him as Steve lifted him up, before setting him on his feet and leaning down to kiss him desperately.

Bucky sighed against his mouth, enjoying Steve’s warm lips, happy Steve was going along with him.

“I love you, Buck. So much,” Steve murmured against his lips.

Bucky tried to respond but Steve wouldn’t stop kissing him long enough to allow him to and then he was scooping him up, just as he had done before this whole mess, heading for the stairs.

Bucky outright giggled as Steve rushed up the stairs with him, basking in how eager Steve now seemed. Bucky pointed to the bathroom as Steve reached the landing and then they were inside, Steve kicking the door closed.

“No leaving this time,” Bucky pointed his finger at Steve in warning as he set him down in the bathroom, with its fancy large double size shower with gold fittings.

Steve looked saddened for a moment and Bucky got annoyed with himself that he’d fucked up and ruined the moment, but then Steve grinned. “You’re literally never getting rid of me again. You’re gonna get so sick of me.” He cupped Bucky’s face with one hand.

“I think I’ll be fine,” Bucky grinned back. Every day with Steve sounded like the best thing ever.

Steve ducked his head down to nuzzle into Bucky’s hair, his fingers stroking down Bucky’s arms. “Did the sweater help?” he asked.

Bucky nodded against him. “Don’t need it now though. Got the real thing.” He reached up and squeezed Steve’s shoulders, grinning, while also being reminded of how damn deliciously big Steve was.

Steve tugged gently and Bucky lifted his arms, letting Steve pull the sweater off, leaving Bucky bare-chested.

“Baby, you are so beautiful,” Steve murmured, running his hands down Bucky’s chest, making him shiver.

“Your turn,” Bucky pointed out, a little choked, getting lost in the feeling of Steve’s hands.

Steve hummed his agreement. “You’re right.” He pulled off the blue henley he was wearing, dumping it on the floor.

Bucky whined. An outright needy whine. His hand flew to his mouth in embarrassment, while Steve grinned a little.

“You okay there, sweetheart?” he teased, eyes sparkling.

He was not alright. He was getting slick. Really slick. Without his suppressants, he was sure to be a mess in moments. Alphas liked that though, right? Steve would probably like that, he thought nervously. He didn’t want to seem like some desperate omega.

Steve did like that apparently. He let out a little growl as he caught the scent of it. “Goddammit, Buck.” He yanked Bucky forward, capturing his mouth, moaning against him, while Bucky felt even slicker.

Steve’s hands went to Bucky’s sweatpants, undoing the string tie at the top while relentlessly kissing Bucky, nibbling on his lip a little, turning Bucky into basically a puddle.

God, everything felt hot. Bucky felt like he was on fire. Steve started pushing his pants down, his hand grazing Bucky’s cock, and Bucky let out a groan. “Y-yours,” he stuttered out. He wanted to see Steve.

Steve instantly did as he said, undoing his jeans, pushing them down quickly while Bucky stepped out of his own pants, only boxers in their way now. Boxers that were doing nothing to hide that Steve was hard and huge, straining against the fabric, a little damp spot appearing.

And that was when a little nervousness ran through Bucky. He hadn’t done this before. What if Steve was disappointed with him? What if he couldn’t satisfy him or was awful at it? What if Steve laughed? He’d never even been naked with someone else.

“Sweetheart?” Steve said softly, clearly picking up on Bucky’s sudden worry.

Bucky managed to tear his eyes away from Steve’s dick to his face. “I…I’m nervous,” he admitted.

“We can go slower,” Steve said instantly. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Bucky grimaced, annoyed. “No, that’s not…I just mean, I’m nervous. I just want you to know that. I don’t want to stop. I don’t want you to treat me like glass either. I just…it’s a little nerve-wracking.”

Steve nodded along. “You’re right. For me too,” he added, catching Bucky’s eye.

“Yeah?” Bucky questioned, a little surprised.

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed with a sweet smile. “I’ve never been with anyone I loved,” he told Bucky, eyes filled with warmth and longing. “I want this to be everything you want it to be.”

Bucky felt a rush of tenderness for Steve. How could he even be this perfect?

“I’m not,” Steve smiled bashfully, and Bucky realised he’d spoken out loud, heart too busy thundering in his ears for him to notice. “That’s you.”

Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes, while still glowing a little at that comment. “Oh sure, cause everyone says things like that,” he laughed.

Steve chuckled along with him and then Bucky came back to reality, eyes finding their way to Steve’s dick again, looking like it was dying to escape the fabric it was pressing against.

Thankfully, Steve was a gentleman and didn’t comment on Bucky’s pervy eyes. “Here,” Steve moved, reaching into the shower to turn the water on. “Now it’ll be hot when we get in.”

The sound of the water cascading down, hitting the sandy coloured tile, was somehow soothing. Bucky didn’t feel as tense as heat and a little steam started to fill the room. He glanced at Steve and then took a breath and tugged his boxers down to the floor, stepping out of them in one quick movement.

Steve paused for a second, eyes dilating, and then followed Bucky’s lead, getting himself fully naked too.

And then Bucky’s mouth went dry and he was probably gaping at him, but damn. Steve was just so big, _everywhere_. Bucky was suddenly very concerned about the fact that he was supposed to somehow fit _that_ inside his body, but he tried to not let himself freak out. They’d figure it out. Steve would never hurt him.

“You’re so stunning,” Steve said, sounding like he was in awe, pulling Bucky from his thoughts.

“You, uh…you’re really…” Bucky couldn’t really find the words. “I fucking love you,” he blurted. He could feel himself hardening fully as he stared at Steve.

Steve chuckled in surprise and then reached out a hand. “Let’s get in, I don’t want you to get cold.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, though he was completely charmed by Steve’s alpha protective vibe. He reached out and gripped Steve hand as he tugged him over into the shower, Steve walking backwards until they were both under the spray.

Bucky shivered in delight as the hot water hit his body.

“It’s not too hot?” Steve checked.

Bucky shook his head and Steve tugged him a little closer, gently, and Bucky gasped in surprise and arousal as Steve’s cock pressed against his stomach and his own pressed against Steve’s hip.

Steve let out a little happy hum, hands going to Bucky’s rapidly dampening hair to pull him in for a long lingering kiss, that Bucky couldn’t focus on because he was getting some nice friction against Steve as he unconsciously thrust his hips a little. “God, Buck…” Steve murmured, pressing closer himself.

“I…” Bucky let out another little gasp, starting to get a little lost in pleasure. “This is good, I like this,” he said stupidly, not able to find better words in this state.

“Mmm me too, sweetheart,” Steve murmured back, in between kisses.

Bucky moaned, but managed to remember why they were in the shower to begin with. “Soap,” he whined at Steve, pointing to the pump dispenser attached to the tiles. “Want your scent.”

Steve groaned a little, like it physically pained him to move away, but he did, gathering a pump of the body wash in his hands, lathering it up and rubbing it over his chest quickly.

Bucky then realised what a dumb plan that was and batted Steve’s hands out the way, pressing a kiss to his neck. “Mm, let me do it?” He ran his hands down Steve’s pecs, thumbing over his nipples, delighting in getting to touch Steve this way finally.

Steve shivered a little under his touch. “Buck,” he whispered.

Bucky continued, stroking his hands down over Steve’s arms, feeling them erupt in goosebumps, squeezing the muscles, watching as he did, a little bit in awe, and heard Steve chuckle a little now.

“You like those?” he murmured in amusement.

“So fucking hot,” Bucky murmured back, not taking his gaze away. He’d let Steve crush him with those arms and he’d die happy.

He gripped onto Steve’s biceps and tugged him, moving them round so Bucky was next to the soap, and then he gathered up some more in his hands and this time really focused on Steve’s neck and wrists.

Steve shuddered and moaned when he did that. Scent glands were sensitive.

Bucky continued on his way, making Steve turn so he could get his back—and seriously, how could Steve’s _back_ be so hot?—and then Bucky was staring at that round, plump ass and he was suddenly feeling very bold as his hands moved down to stroke and squeeze.

Steve let out a chuckle that held a hint of embarrassment at the attention Bucky was paying it.

“Yeah, I like this too, Stevie,” Bucky said before Steve could ask.

Steve spun back around and grabbed him, pressing their lips together urgently, licking into his mouth once they were out of the direct stream of the shower. Bucky made a muffled sound of surprise against him, getting lost in sensation, and then his wandering hands found their way to Steve’s hard length and he wrapped his hand round him decisively and stroked.

“Bucky,” Steve gasped, breaking the kiss. “Fuck, Jesus Christ,” he groaned as Bucky continued to stroke.

Bucky loved that he could make Steve sound like that. He felt so good in his hand, all silky but hard as a rock. It wasn’t anything like touching himself. For one thing, omegas were naturally smaller in that area, it was just a fact, so the sheer size of Steve was different for one. But everything about it was discovering something new. There was the looser skin that Steve had where his knot would form—and Bucky tried hard not to think about the idea of that too much, because that was a little overwhelming—and he found where to stroke that made Steve gasp louder, locking into his memory all the bits of him that were the most sensitive.

“Buck, you’ve gotta stop,” Steve breathed out, as Bucky thumbed over his slit.

“Why?” Bucky pouted, stilling his hand, because Steve had asked him to, but he didn’t have to like it.

“Cause I’m gonna come if you keep that up,” Steve choked out, giving him an apologetic look.

“What’s so bad about that?” Bucky asked, being a little mean and squeezing Steve’s cock a little, making his eyes roll back.

“I…I…” Steve didn’t seem to actually have an answer to that one.

“C’mon, I want to make you feel good,” Bucky complained. He was feeling very pleased with himself that Steve seemed to like his touching so much.

Steve nuzzled into his hair and nodded.

Bucky smiled to himself, resuming his ministrations.

“You do make me feel good, Buck. Always,” Steve gasped out.

Bucky stroked, squeezing under the head, sliding down, letting his fingers lightly graze Steve’s balls, finding them all tight and probably about ready to burst. He slid his hand back up and down, finding a faster rhythm, listening for what Steve responded to, twisting his grip a little at the top. That got a very nice moan out of him.

He moved a little faster still and then Steve suddenly stiffened like he stopped breathing for a moment, and then he let out a tremendous groan and then Bucky’s hand and the shower floor were getting covered in pearly white come.

Bucky wasn’t sure what possessed him as he brought his hand up to his mouth and licked. He just wanted to see…Maybe soon he’d be getting his mouth on that cock, if Steve wanted that, and he wanted to see what he might be dealing with. It was surprisingly fine. Barely any discernible taste, but for a slight bitterness and maybe saltiness.

He hummed to himself and looked up to find Steve panting and staring in disbelief at him.

“What?” Bucky frowned, putting his hand under the shower to rinse the rest away, rubbing his fingers together when the water wasn’t quite enough.

“That was amazing,” Steve said, breath still coming in little bursts.

“Yeah?” Bucky grinned, feeling very pleased with himself. “Here, let me wash your hair,” he stated, amused with how the water had flattened Steve’s hair to his head.

“Baby, I…I’m supposed to be taking care of you,” Steve protested, still breathless, as Bucky pumped some shampoo into his hand.

Bucky rolled his eyes at him as he turned back. “Shut up, alpha,” he said fondly. “I get to take care of you too, alright?”

Steve’s face broke into a fond smile. “I don’t deserve you.”

Bucky shrugged. “Probably not, but what are ya gonna do?” he joked. He reached up to start lathering through Steve’s hair.

Steve ducked down a little, helpfully, letting out a soft noise of pleasure. “I’m gonna prove to you every day how much I love you, even if I never will deserve you.”

Bucky beamed, scratching his fingers over Steve’s scalp. “You’re ridiculous,” he mumbled, feeling his face going bright red, his heart so full he wasn’t sure how he could keep existing like this.

“Ridiculously in love,” Steve countered with a big grin.

“No, just ridiculous,” Bucky sassed back, finishing with the shampoo. He chuckled a little at the white puffs of foam on Steve’s head, hair sticking up. “Rinse,” he ordered.

Steve smiled at him and did as he was told.

Bucky started lathering up his own hair. His cock had flagged down, taking care of Steve taking precedent over his own arousal, and now he just wanted to get clean.

“Sweetheart,” Steve said softly, as Bucky lathered. “I wanna touch you, can I touch you?” he murmured, hand reaching out to lightly grip Bucky’s waist.

Bucky paused. The idea of Steve touching him…he’d dreamt about that for far too long now. He wanted it. He nodded, meeting Steve’s eyes, hopefully relaying to Steve how much he trusted him, then quickly moved his head under the shower to rinse out the shampoo suds.

Steve waited patiently, then moved Bucky a little out of the stream of water.

Bucky felt a little nervousness run through him and shut his eyes in anticipation. No one had ever touched him before.

He jerked his hips in surprise at the first touch of Steve’s warm, wet hand, stroking over his cock, and let out a little involuntary moan, as Steve brought him back to full hardness within moments.

Then Steve’s hand gripped round the base and then…then Bucky’s eyes flew open as something wet and warm enveloped the head of his cock. He blinked at the sight before him, realising Steve was on his knees and the warm wetness was his mouth.

Bucky managed a choked off noise at the sight before him. An alpha on their knees. Steve on his knees. For him. Steve’s lips wrapped around him, his face looking blissful.

He looked up and met Bucky’s eyes and Bucky almost died from the desire he saw in them. “St-Stevie…” he choked out, and then he couldn’t talk anymore, because Steve slid his mouth all the way down to the root of his cock.

Bucky had never felt anything like it. It was bliss. It was so, so much. There was warmth and tightness and wetness and it was Steve. Steve was the one doing this to him, with him, practically worshipping his dick. He kept moaning around him, adding vibrations to the list of incredible feelings, and Bucky quickly stopped being nervous or tense about the fact that Steve was that close up with parts of him no one else had ever really seen.

It was so fucking intimate, but Bucky loved it. He loved that he could let Steve touch him this way, that he could trust him with all of himself—heart, body and soul.

Steve’s hand went to fondle his balls and Bucky briefly wondered if they were partly covered in slick, because he could feel he was fucking dripping with it now, and he wasn’t under the stream of water, so it was probably all over him, but he didn’t care anymore. Steve was too good at this and he was quickly melting into a puddle of satisfied jelly.

Steve sucked in his cheeks and pulled off for a moment, Bucky whimpering at the feeling, before he felt Steve’s mouth on his balls.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Bucky panted, accidently bucking his hips as Steve licked and sucked lightly.

“Mm, Buck, you taste so damn good,” Steve murmured, one hand moving to give Bucky’s ass a squeeze, making him jerk in surprise, before his mouth was back licking round the head of Bucky’s cock, before he slid down again, Bucky feeling like he’d gone to heaven.

His whole body felt wound up and tight, the unfamiliar feelings making him tremor as Steve tightened his lips round him. “Steve, I’m gonna…” Bucky was too close. He’d probably lasted a laughable amount of time, but he couldn’t care less in that moment, Steve’s mouth was magical and perfect and he was speeding up and then Bucky was coming hard, his breath stolen away, as his legs quivered and he let out a punched moan at what was definitely the most intense orgasm of his life and the _only_ orgasm of his life with another person, and that person being Steve, which made it infinitely better.

Steve licked him gently as he came down, hands helping to keep Bucky upright, nuzzling against him, before he finally released him, and carefully got to his feet.

“I…” Bucky looked at him in wonder. “Steve, I…that was…” He couldn’t make words properly, he was too fucked out.

Steve wrapped him in his arms, nuzzling into his hair, kissing his cheek. “That was good?” he questioned.

Bucky nodded frantically against him. “So good.” So much more than good. Bucky was going to need Steve to do that a lot. _A lot_ a lot.

“You’re incredible,” Steve murmured to him, while Bucky realised he could smell a tiny bit of Steve’s scent now, the water annoyingly mostly taking it away.

“Let’s get out the shower,” he said as his breath came back. He wanted to lie down with Steve, shove his face into his neck and stay there for say, the next twenty years or so. That was a good plan, Bucky thought.

Steve nodded and then was reaching for more body wash, finishing cleaning himself and Bucky up, including where his mouth had just been, Bucky only mildly embarrassed about it by this point. Until Steve’s hand slid back past his balls and Bucky squeaked in surprise as Steve’s fingers grazed over his hole.

“Too much?” Steve asked, instantly moving his hand away.

Bucky loved the concern in his eyes. “No, just…wasn’t expecting it,” he mumbled. He’d have to get used to Steve’s hands being there, he figured. Hands and other things. He was definitely blushing again.

“Can I…?” Steve lingered, hand now stroking over Bucky’s ass cheek.

Bucky found himself nodding and Steve’s hand moved back to where it was, sweeping gently down this time, and then gently caressing as Bucky jerked in his arms and let out another involuntarily moan. It felt so good, so sensitive, so different to when he touched himself there, which he’d only ever really done when he was in heat and felt that overwhelming need to.

“Mm, sweetheart, you’re so good,” Steve said, voice a little bit growly now.

Bucky reacted to that instantly—he could feel slick seeping out of him again, and Steve let out a full growl now as he felt that, Bucky shivering against him.

“Steve…” Bucky whined, baring his throat to the alpha, and Steve’s hand moved before he moved them both to have a final rinse off before turning the shower off.

Steve had Bucky wrapped in a large fluffy towel before he’d even really noticed he’d moved and then tugged Bucky into his arms again, hugging him tightly. “Do you want to go and find one of those rooms Thor talked about?” he suggested softly, kissing Bucky’s ear, making him shiver and tingle.

“Mmhm,” Bucky agreed, so on board with that plan.

Steve grabbed his own towel and wrapped it round himself, then grabbed Bucky’s hand as they exited the bathroom, the house still quiet, the others still out eating probably, Bucky assumed.

Bucky led him to the room he’d already used. When they got inside, Bucky stared at the bed for a moment, before Steve interrupted him with a deep kiss that made his toes curl.

“Do you want to sleep?” Steve asked him after pulling away.

Bucky shook his head. Sleep was the last thing on his mind. “I…I wanna be with you, Stevie. Want to be yours.”

“You are mine,” Steve replied, but his eyes had dilated with lust.

Bucky nodded. “But I want to…in all ways…” Bucky trailed off. Steve’s scent was starting to come through again as he dried off and it was delicious. “I want it…before,” Bucky tried to explain. “Before I’m in heat.” He didn’t want his first time to be when he was wanton and out of his mind. He wanted to remember it fully.

Steve nodded back at him, apparently understanding. “I want that too, Buck. I love you so much.”

Bucky smiled, his heart full to bursting. “I love you too.”

“You go lie down,” Steve nodded at the bed. “I’m gonna go get you something to drink and eat.”

Bucky frowned. “But I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten since I got here,” Steve reminded him. “Let your alpha take care of you,” he said with a little fond smile.

Bucky let out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine.”

Steve grinned and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

Bucky sighed again as he left the room. Steve was so overprotective, but somehow Bucky didn’t mind. He sort of had every reason to be after what they’d been through anyway, so he could indulge his alpha. He knew Steve would never tell him what to do or force him in any way, but if he had the urge to look after him, Bucky would allow it. He intended to look after Steve too.

He took the time Steve was away to dry off and towel dry his hair a little, before leaving his towel on a chair, and staring at the bed again.

This was really going to happen. They were going to have sex. Or make love. Whatever they wanted to call it. And Bucky was nervous as fuck, but he was also ready. He wanted Steve with every fibre of his being. He wanted to have him close like that and feel how wonderful it was supposed to feel. He knew it would feel wonderful with Steve. Because Steve was so careful with him and loved him and was the sweetest alpha alive.

Bucky was ready.

He lay down on the bed and then frowned to himself. Should he get under the covers? Should he build them a little nest, even though he wasn’t in heat? Maybe he should just wait for Steve to come back and let him decide.

Then he realised. He should present. He was Steve’s omega and that’s what he should do.

Bucky got to his knees, feeling ridiculously vulnerable as he moved his chest down and rested on his forearms, ass in the air, shivering a little at the slight cold in the room.

The door clicked and Bucky arched further, wanting to look good for Steve.

There was a clang as something hit the floor and Bucky craned his neck round to see Steve had dropped a plate of something, that luckily hadn’t smashed on the carpet, though the food it had held had gone everywhere, and he had a bottle of water clenched in his hand so tight that it seemed to have burst.

“Bucky, what are you…” Steve sputtered, staring at him, eyes dark and stunned.

Bucky turned his head away, pleased but a little embarrassed by the attention. “I…I wanted to be good for you.”

“Holy…” There was another thud, and Bucky glanced back to see Steve had dropped the water now too.

“Buck, ah, can you turn round for me, just for a minute?” Steve asked, still standing there, looking like he was in shock.

Bucky bit his lip. He hoped he hadn’t disappointed Steve somehow. He moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling very naked now. “Did I…did you not like that?” he asked tentatively.

“No, sweetheart, fuck, I liked it. I like it a lot,” Steve choked out, voice like gravel. “I just…I’d really like to see your face our first time. If you want to do it that way, we can, but I don’t want you to do that because you think you have to.”

“Oh.” Bucky frowned to himself. He hadn’t paused to consider if Steve would want it any other way. It was traditional mating pose, alphas loved it. But face to face…he started smiling to himself. He wanted to see Steve too. He wanted to kiss him and watch him and see how he felt as well as feel and hear it.

Bucky shifted backwards up the bed. “Face to face sounds good,” he replied a little shyly.

Steve smiled adoringly at him. “I saw the cake,” he suddenly said.

Bucky frowned. He’d forgotten about that. He’d wanted to see Steve’s face when he saw it. “Did you like it?” he asked hopefully.

“It looks amazing, sweetheart. I can’t believe you can make things that incredible.”

Bucky blushed, which was weird, because he was blushing at being complimented, when he probably should be blushing at being naked.

Steve seemed to realise that at the same time. His eyes trailed down Bucky’s body and then he was moving, almost stalking over, ridding himself of his towel, and clambering over Bucky as he lay back, Steve settling his knees on the outside of Bucky’s hips, food forgotten.

Bucky slid his hands up over Steve’s pecs as Steve leant in to place kisses down his neck. This time, he didn’t sputter from the taste of chemicals. This time, he let out a loud growl and then licked him, nipping a little with his teeth.

“Fuck, Bucky, you smell incredible, I can’t…Jesus…fuck…” Steve moaned. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Bucky quivered under him. He was Steve’s. Forever his. Only his. He nodded, breathing in Steve’s scent now, that wonderful feeling of warmth and home surrounding him. “Yours,” he agreed breathlessly.

“Have to have you, sweetheart, I can’t…” Steve trailed off, still licking and nipping, hand buried in Bucky’s hair now. “Need to be with you.”

Bucky nodded, feeling his slick sliding down between his cheeks, probably ruining the covers beneath them.

“Can I taste you, baby, please? Steve all but begged, kissing his way down over Bucky’s collarbone now, before reaching his nipples and taking one nub into his mouth, sucking on it, making Bucky whimper and jerk his chest up.

“Taste?” Bucky questioned, through his haze of lust.

“Your slick, baby.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide as Steve continued his way down to his hipbones, pressing little ticklish kisses there.

“I, um, I…okay,” Bucky agreed, unable to process the intimacy of that, but wanting it anyway.

Steve tugged on his hips a little. “Turn over for me,” he ordered gently, and Bucky quickly did as requested.

Steve’s hands were on him moments later, and then…then Steve’s mouth was right there, and Bucky was surely going to die.

Steve licked a stripe across his hole, letting out a fucked out moan of pleasure. “Fuck, you taste so sweet,” he murmured, before diving back in, his tongue working magic, Bucky’s legs fully shaking at the feeling.

Bucky’s hands clenched the pillows tightly as Steve licked and sucked and moaned into him and then his tongue was prodding at him and pressing into him, and fuck, Steve was pushing into him with his tongue.

Bucky almost sobbed into the pillow. “Steve…” he keened, overwhelmed.

“Taste incredible, Buck. So fucking good,” Steve murmured, before his tongue was doing that thing again.

Bucky didn’t know how long he did that for, but all he knew was he wasn’t going to stop him. It felt so different and strange, but intense and vulnerable and amazing. And he had no doubt that Steve absolutely loved it.

At some point in his shuddering moaning, he felt something different and realised Steve was now tracing around his hole with his finger, in between using his mouth.

“You’re so wet, sweetheart,” Steve mumbled to him. “Gonna use my fingers now, okay?”

He traced the pad of his finger over him as he spoke as Bucky managed to choke out a yes. And then there was pressure, but then Steve’s finger sunk in and Bucky whined loudly without meaning to.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked instantly.

Bucky managed a nod, scrunching the pillow again. “I’m okay. Just…strange.” He’d used toys before, years back when he’d gone through heats, but this still felt different, because it was someone else doing it. He wasn’t in control.

“I’m gonna make it feel good, baby, don’t worry, but I’ll stop anytime you want,” Steve soothed, finger sliding in a little more. “God, you feel incredible, Buck,” he said reverently.

Bucky just made an unintelligible noise back. He could smell them both all over the room now, their scents mingling, arousal heavy in the air. It was heady.

Then Steve’s finger grazed his prostate and Bucky cried out. “Fuck, Steve…” he panted as sparks burst along his spine.

“There you go, that’s it,” Steve murmured back, pressing against it again, sliding his finger more now, hitting it each time.

“Steve!” Bucky all but shrieked, fingers practically tearing into the soft cotton pillows beneath them. He felt like his whole body was a giant nerve-ending, Steve’s touch reverberating through his whole body.

Steve hummed and then his tongue was back in the mix, licking around the rim as his finger worked in and out, Bucky unable to do anything but quiver against him now, head floating.

When Steve gently eased in another finger, Bucky lost himself entirely, crashing over the edge into what felt like another plane of existence, his whole body shuddering, his cock spurting against the sheets as he let out a choked moan.

“Fuck, sweetheart, did you just come for me,” Steve murmured, kissing Bucky’s lower back, gently easing his fingers out, clearly knowing that’s exactly what Bucky just did.

Bucky just managed to make an incoherent noise at him, breathing heavily, and then Steve’s lips were at his neck, kissing gently up to his ear, before gently turning Bucky onto his side.

Bucky opened his eyes slowly to find Steve gazing at him, having dropped down to lie next to him.

“You with me, sweetheart?” he murmured, hand stroking down Bucky’s side in a light tickle.

Bucky managed to nod shakily before dragging himself over to lie half on top of Steve, Steve breaking into a smile as he did so, Bucky leaning in so they were almost nose to nose.

“That was amazing,” Bucky smiled, so fucked out and happy, staring at Steve’s beautiful face that he’d been so scared that he wouldn’t see again.

Instead of saying something equal parts adorable and lame like ‘you’re amazing’ like Bucky kind of expected him to, Steve’s face suddenly turned more serious as he lifted his hand to play with a lock of Bucky’s hair, smoothing it back from his face. And then Bucky was shocked to see Steve’s eyes were getting glassy.

Bucky’s brow furrowed in concern. “Stevie, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Steve shook his head and then Bucky found himself getting pulled forward and crushed in Steve’s arms, Steve’s huge body shaking a little beneath him.

“Oh, Stevie…” Bucky breathed out, feeling like Steve crying was definitely going to set him off too.

Steve tightened his grip round Bucky’s back and waist, pressing his damp face into Bucky’s neck.

Bucky pressed kisses against Steve’s shoulder, the only place he could reach right then. “It’s okay,” he tried to soothe. “We’re together now, no one’s gonna take me away again.”

Steve jostled him a little, nodding against him, a small sob muffled into Bucky’s neck.

Bucky tried to soothe him, letting Steve hold him for as long as he needed to, until he felt a little vibration and realised Steve was speaking. He had to listen hard to hear the words, but then he made them out. Steve was mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ into his neck, over and over.

“Stevie, no,” Bucky protested, now feeling like he was going to cry for a whole other reason. He moved, pulling back against Steve’s hold until Steve finally loosened his arms, letting go entirely when Bucky managed to move to the side of him.

Steve’s hand went to his own face, heels of his hands pressed against his eyes, looking miserable, body shuddering.

“Stevie, you stop that right now,” Bucky ordered, reaching out to prise Steve’s hands away, which Steve allowed, finally blinking up at Bucky through red, puffy eyes. Bucky’s heart just about broke as he gripped Steve’s hands tightly. “You can’t do this, Stevie. You’re gonna make your omega cry and you don’t want to do that, do you,” Bucky said as sternly as he could, caressing Steve’s hands with his thumbs.

Steve looked miserably at him and shook his head.

“C’mere,” Bucky murmured, letting go so he could move to sit up against the headboard, lifting his arm for Steve. Steve thankfully did as he was told and moved up to tuck himself against Bucky, letting him wrap his arm around him, Bucky yanking the covers awkwardly over them both as much as he could while they were sitting on them.

“It’s okay if you’re sad,” Bucky murmured softly to him, gently caressing his shoulder, pressing a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “But it’s not okay to be sorry. I mean, you can be sorry that what happened happened cause I’m sorry it did too, but you can’t be sorry like it was your fault, okay?” He needed Steve to understand that—he couldn’t let him be plagued by this forever. “You helped save me.”

“But I didn’t,” Steve choked out quietly, voice full of remorse. “I didn’t do anything. Clint did and Wanda and Thor did, but I was useless. I couldn’t _do_ anything.”

Bucky sighed deeply. “Stevie, sometimes being strong means relying on other people. I didn’t do anything either. I couldn’t get myself out of there no matter how much I wanted to. Sometimes there just isn’t anything you can do, and you need help.” He pressed his forehead against the side of Steve’s face and kissed his cheekbone. “You can’t be sorry about that, because then I have to be sorry about that, and I don’t want to be. I know I did the best I could in the situation I was in.”

Steve moved, turning and pulling himself up a little higher so he could see Bucky’s face. “I was so scared,” he admitted softly, an admission no alpha would ever usually choose to make.

Bucky shifted onto his side, so they were lying face to face. “I dreamt of you. Every night you were there with me.” It wasn’t an exaggeration. Bucky thought maybe it was some kind of soul-bond thing, because every night, Steve was there in his dreams. “And I would make that choice again, to go with Fury, because it meant you were safe.”

Steve looked at him in disbelief, eyes filled with affection. “Don’t you ever make that choice again,” he choked out with a little smile appearing now.

“Don’t you ever blame yourself again and we have a deal,” Bucky smiled back, stroking his hand through Steve’s hair.

“Deal,” Steve smiled back, eyes a little glassy again. He wiped at his face and let out a breath. “Oh god, I just ruined this night, didn’t I,” he sighed, looking around the darkening room.

Bucky shook his head as Steve met his eyes again. “You didn’t ruin anything.” Bucky smiled to himself, basking in happiness. “It’s perfect.”

Steve looked at him in disbelief and then leant in, their lips meeting in a sensual, soft kiss that seemed to go on endlessly. Bucky’s lips were tingling by the time Steve pulled away.

“Lie down, sweetheart,” Steve said softly, hand caressing down Bucky’s neck, making him shiver, before his lips were on Bucky’s ear, nibbling on the lobe.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked breathily, wanting to make sure. He didn’t want to do this if Steve wasn’t in the right frame of mind. “We don’t have to, we can wait,” he forced out, Steve’s lips working magic, making his brain want to turn off.

“I want to,” Steve promised as he pulled back. “I’m okay, I promise. As long as you’re okay?”

Bucky nodded vigorously. “I’m good.”

Steve’s eyes shined with amusement. “Eager, aren’t you,” he chuckled fondly.

Bucky pouted at him. “It just feels like we’ve waited so long,” he whined.

“I know, baby,” Steve soothed. He leant in and kissed Bucky’s neck, making him whimper a little, pulling the covers away from them both at the same time.

God, he wished Steve could bite him now. Having his mouth on his scent glands made his whole body melt like molten gold, as though every muscle in his body relaxed. He could feel a fresh wave of slick as he got aroused all over again.

Steve moved from his neck, down to his chest, apparently intent on teasing him to death as his mouth latched over one of Bucky’s nipples and he let out a very unsexy squawk of surprise, Steve chuckling against his chest.

Well two could play at that game.

Bucky reached down, shifting and stretching his arm until he grasped onto Steve’s semi-hard cock, thumbing over the head, as Steve let out a surprised gasp and pulled away from his focus on Bucky’s nipples.

“See how mean teasing is?” Bucky grinned at him, gripping him tightly, feeling Steve swelling under his fingers. It was so damn erotic, feeling like he was the one making that happen.

“Buck,” Steve hissed out, holding himself up over him, eyes half-lidded in bliss.

It was such a hot sight, his alpha, naked and gorgeous and panting over him, muscles straining, that look of pleasure on his face. Pleasure that Bucky was causing. “Please, Stevie,” Bucky breathed out, arousal and want suddenly taking him over as he jerked Steve’s cock. “I’m ready, I just, I want you now. P-please,” he stuttered. “I want to feel you inside me.” He wasn’t nervous anymore. Everything felt hot and on edge and he wanted to feel their bodies locking together, wanted to feel Steve sliding into him.

“You’re sure?” Steve managed, unconsciously jerking his hips in time with Bucky’s hand, eyes a little unfocused as he met Bucky’s eyes.

“Yes,” Bucky hissed out.

Steve’s eyes were wide and he nodded and gently tugged Bucky’s hand from his dick with a groan, before nudging Bucky’s knees, until he planted his feet flat on the bed. Steve gave him an adoring look, before leaning over him, between his legs, gently wrapping his hand round one of Bucky’s legs to push it higher, so his knee was near his chest.

Bucky let out a slightly mortified sound, which Steve instantly hushed.

“You’re gorgeous,” he told Bucky, stating it as though it was just a fact that Bucky couldn’t argue with.

Then he looked down, other hand going to Bucky’s hole, clearly finding him wet and ready as Steve let out a little noise of approval, his fingers tracing around the rim as Bucky shuddered.

“Please,” Bucky choked out the broken word, and then a moment later there was something bigger, softer and warmer nudging against him. “Oh god,” Bucky looked down his own body, to see Steve positioning his cock against him. He blinked and dropped his head back against the pillow. This was really happening. It was about to happen. It was the most erotic and startling sight Bucky had ever seen and then there was pressure against him and a little burn as he held his breath as Steve’s cock finally slid into him.

“Bucky, baby, you okay?” Steve asked, voice tight like he was struggling with words right then. “Sweetheart, you’ve gotta breathe for me.”

Bucky opened his eyes that he hadn’t noticed he’d closed and choked in some air as he tried to breathe again. It felt so…god, he couldn’t even describe it. It was like his body moulded itself round Steve, like he was made for him. His body felt tight and on fire and like he couldn’t get enough air to his lungs. He tried to narrow in on just the feeling down there, registering how stretched he felt, how tightly he was gripping Steve, how slick he was.

“Fuck, you feel really big,” Bucky admitted shakily, once his words came back to him. He was oddly proud of himself that he’d even been able to take Steve’s cock.

Steve, who hadn’t moved and whose muscles seemed to be shaking a little with the effort, let out a slightly troubled sound. “That’s just the head, sweetheart.”

Bucky stopped breathing again. _Holy fuck. That was all?_ He felt so full, he couldn’t see how he could be any fuller than he already was.

“I can stop,” Steve offered, worry in his voice.

“No, no,” Bucky choked out, with a gasp of air, remembering to breathe again. “Keep going. All the way, I want you all the way.” He could do this. He wanted Steve flush against him so he could lean in better and kiss him. At the end of the day, though he didn’t believe this was his purpose, his body _was_ made for this after all.

“Okay,” Steve agreed breathlessly. “I’m gonna go slow.”

Apparently, Steve meant a glacial pace when he said slow. Bucky forced himself to breathe as he felt every drag of Steve’s cock as it pressed torturously slowly into him, making his body shudder almost as a reflex, the feeling overwhelming every part of him. He could hear the obscene squelch of his slick as Steve pressed inside, hear Steve’s panting, saying pretty words that Bucky couldn’t really take in right then.

And then. Then Steve let out a breath, like everything in him deflated and Bucky knew he was fully inside.

Bucky felt like he wasn’t really in his own body anymore. Steve was so deep in him, he could barely take in enough air. But it somehow felt right. It felt like they were one person, Steve possessing him somehow.

“Fuck,” Steve breathed out above him. “Oh fuck, you feel so fucking incredible.”

Bucky blinked his half-lidded eyes. _He_ made Steve sound like that. “Kiss me,” he mumbled.

Steve was leaning in within a second, pressing their lips together, the movement moving him inside Bucky, and Bucky gasped against his lips. “Is it too much?” Steve instantly pulled back.

Bucky shook his head slowly. “Kiss,” he demanded, everything feeling blurry.

Steve kissed him deeply, his tongue delving in, Bucky doing his very best to match his kisses, even as boneless as he felt. Steve seemed to kiss him for hours, that heavy weight inside him, stretching him out, until he was just a bunch of nerve-endings, singing out.

“Can I move, sweetheart?” Steve breathed out desperately. “I need to move.”

“Mm,” Bucky managed with a nod, running his hand down Steve’s cheek, trying to make sure Steve knew he was okay, even though he was currently existing as some kind of blissful, overwhelmed puddle.

The first drag back out startled him into awareness and he jolted. “Fuck,” he moaned out as Steve pulled out and then pressed back in. “Oh god.” This. This was why people seemed obsessed with sex. This was what he’d never understood. Pleasure zinged down his spine.

Steve seemed to recognise that it was a good moan. He moved again, going gently, but a touch faster than before, Bucky nodding and babbling his encouragement now. “Christ, Stevie, yes, uh huh, god, like that, mmm…” Bucky garbled out.

He hooked his foot behind Steve’s back, giving him more leverage and carefully tilted his hips a little to meet Steve’s thrust, letting out a stunned gasp at how good that felt.

“Mmm, I’m good,” he babbled before Steve could ask, pressing his hips up again. “Give me it harder, Stevie, please, fuck it feels so good.”

Steve went a little harder and a little faster, one hand grasping Bucky’s thigh as he pistoned his hips, with an obscene slapping noise as his balls hit Bucky’s ass, Steve letting out choked noises.

It was then that Bucky realised he’d shut his eyes, which ruined the whole point of being face to face with Steve. He fluttered them open to find Steve gazing at his body in wonder, a look of lust and pleasure all over him.

“Steve,” he moaned, and Steve’s eyes flickered up to meet his, even as he continued his thrusts, sweat dripping down his chest, the heat coming off him searing into Bucky’s skin.

“Buck, you feel so amazing,” he told him. “Are you okay?” he choked out, slowing his pace.

“Don’t stop,” Bucky pleaded, pressing down with his foot, trying to urge him on.

Steve let out a groan and resumed his pace, even going a little faster now, panting with effort, the air around them thick with the scent of arousal, almost to a choking amount.

It was a good thing his alpha’s arms were so strong, Bucky figured. He didn’t want Steve to ever stop. He wanted him to fuck him endlessly.

His hands scrabbled for purchase, like he didn’t know what to do with himself as Steve’s cock lit him up from the inside. “Please, I…” Bucky didn’t know what he was even asking for, but Steve’s hand moved from his thigh down to his cock, wrapping around him, starting to jerk him gently in time with his thrusts.

“Holy fuck,” Bucky’s hips all but lurched off the bed, shoving Steve deeper inside him. Everything was wound up, teetering on the precipice of falling, as Steve licked at his neck, breath coming in harsh pants near Bucky’s ear.

“Fuck, Steve, I…fuck…” Bucky stopped pressing his hips up. He couldn’t do anything but let Steve pound that incredible cock into him, filling him up over and over. He felt like he was shaking with it and then Steve met his eyes again and it was all over. Bucky’s body tightened up and he came screaming, almost literally, the loudest moan punched out his body as pleasure overtook everything, his cock spurting onto his stomach and Steve’s hand, pumping out way more than usual, his orgasm lasting longer than it ever had before, his ass clenching helplessly around Steve as he all but collapsed, his leg dropping down.

It only took a handful of thrusts before Steve was coming too, Bucky still feeling his orgasm and whimpering a little as Steve barrelled into his, and then there was the strangest feeling of warmth inside, and Steve was shuddering over him, carefully dropping his weight to the side of Bucky without slipping out.

Bucky lay there, blinking at the ceiling. It was hard to really form thoughts, let alone words. Steve was pressed against him, still inside him.

It took him a while to come back to himself. He registered that he was covered in sweat and come and Steve’s scent. He also registered that he’d never been happier.

Steve finally seemed to come to and gently pulled away, freeing his cock from Bucky’s body, Bucky gasping at the feeling.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked instantly.

Bucky’s heart felt warm. “I’m so much better than okay,” Bucky smiled at his alpha, tugging on his arm ineffectually until Steve got the point and moved up level with him, Bucky turning a little on his side to face Steve.

Steve leant in and kissed him gently. “That was incredible, Buck,” he told him reverently as he pulled back, eyes staring at Bucky in wonder.

“It really was,” Bucky confirmed with his own dreamy smile. He hadn’t really known what to expect, but it had blown past anything he’d thought of. His whole body felt like it had melted into the bed, pliant and satisfied. “We should definitely do that a lot.”

Steve grinned at him. “Oh really?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Don’t sound so damn proud of yourself,” he groused, poking Steve in the chest.

Steve grinned again before his face turned thoughtful. “I’ve never felt this way before,” he said softly, fingers tracing along Bucky’s collarbone.

“Like what?” Bucky questioned, capturing Steve’s hand and kissing his fingertips because he just couldn’t help himself.

Steve let out a little happy sigh. “Just perfectly happy. I want to stay here forever, can we stay here forever?”

Bucky smiled a little bashfully, overwhelmed but in a good way. It was like his body couldn’t hold in this much happiness. “Sounds good to me,” he agreed, before Steve leant in and kissed him with so much love, Bucky felt it in his bones, and nothing, no moment, had ever been so perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeesh that was long. My brain really ran away with this. Also FINALLY!!! Damn I never meant for this to take so long to get too. I hoped you liked it 😇
> 
> Once again, massive thanks to all those reading and commenting, it means the world to me that you seem to be enjoying this story so much. We're almost at the end 🙁


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life at the beach house.

Bucky awoke slowly, not at all in the way that lately had him jerking awake and despairing at where he was. Instead, he awoke feeling warm and cosy, the sound of waves in the background, and as he opened his eyes, the face of his alpha staring at him with soft adoration on his face.

His alpha who was holding a breakfast tray with bacon, scrambled eggs and toast.

A smile of contentment appeared on Bucky’s face. “What’s all this?” he murmured, sleepily, looking at Steve in wonder.

“Breakfast,” Steve said, rather obviously.

“You made it for me?” Bucky was charmed.

Steve nodded. “I had a little help,” he admitted. “There’s juice there as well,” he nodded towards the bedside table, where Bucky saw a large glass of orange juice. “That’s got lots of vitamins,” Steve continued. “And the eggs are good protein and, well, the bacon’s just cause it tastes good, but a little bit of nice stuff never hurt anyone,” Steve rambled.

He paused when he saw Bucky looking bemused at him and then he looked sheepish. He passed the tray over, settling it on Bucky’s lap. “Just eat it and stop laughing at me,” he grumbled, looking down at the bed covers.

Bucky was, in fact, starving, he realised, so he did just that. “Mmm, my big strong alpha providing for me,” he teased, but hilariously Steve seemed to perk up a little at that, looking up at him. “God, you’re adorable,” Bucky laughed, overwhelmed with love for him, before grabbing a forkful of eggs.

“I’m manly, not adorable,” Steve corrected, an adorable little grin on his face.

Fuck _yes_ , he was manly, Bucky thought as he got a very graphic flashback of the night before. _Damn_. Bucky tried to not let himself get too worked up. He grinned at Steve and ate a piece of bacon, before offering one out to him. “Did you eat?”

“I had mine downstairs while I cooked yours,” Steve nodded.

“What are the others doing?” Bucky questioned, taking a bite of toast now as he realised it was probably nearer lunch than breakfast time.

“They’re downstairs. Wanda said something about a beach day.”

“That sounds fun, do you want to do that?” Bucky asked, reaching for his juice, and rolling his eyes when Steve hurried to get there and pass him it, as though stretching was too hard for Bucky.

“I want to do whatever you want to,” Steve replied, smiling as Bucky drank his vitamins.

Bucky rolled his eyes even harder. “Steven, that’s not how this works. We both have opinions and they both get heard, alright?” he scolded.

Steve looked suitably chastised. “I can’t help it, I just want you to be happy and smiling all the time.”

“If I smiled all the time it would be hella creepy,” Bucky scoffed, even though the sentiment was so sweet and adorable. “So, thoughts on beaches?”

Steve shrugged. “I like the beach. And it might be nice to spend some time getting to know the people who I owe my entire life to.”

Bucky let out a loud guffaw. “Not overdramatic at all, are you, Stevie,” he teased, mood lighter than it had been in months. “I think I’d like to spend some time outside too,” he decided. “And then maybe later we could come back here and…” He let his eyes trail down Steve’s body until his eyes reached his sadly covered up crotch, letting his eyes speak for him.

“Buck,” Steve blushed. Actually blushed. Bucky took that as a win.

Bucky finished his breakfast and moved the tray off to the side carefully, clambering up to reach Steve, suddenly realising he was naked. Instinct had him pulling the sheet around him as he also realised he really needed to shower after last night.

He leant in for a chaste kiss, which Steve granted. “You’re okay?” he checked. Yesterday had been wonderful and incredible, but he hadn’t forgotten about Steve getting upset. He hoped he wasn’t still blaming himself.

Steve nodded, hands reaching to run down Bucky’s sides, sending tingles down his spine. “How are you feeling?” he checked, a little worry in his eyes.

Bucky stared into Steve’s pretty blue eyes. “I’m perfect,” he promised. Last night had been so much better than he’d ever imagined—he was still sort of floating from the experience.

He kissed Steve’s nose to pull him out of his worry and grinned. “C’mon. Let’s go to the beach.”

****

Bucky couldn’t remember a more perfect day as he lay on the sand on the blanket that Wanda had brought out, sharing it with her and Steve, while Clint and Thor lay on another one. He had his eyes closed, the sun burning through his eyelids, creating a red glow, and he could hear the waves and noises of birds, but best of all, he could feel Steve’s presence there, lying next to him.

They’d already played in the ocean and gone to the hot dog place for a very late lunch earlier and also just talked a lot, getting to know the others. And now they were just sunbathing and resting.

Bucky hadn’t really realised how much he’d needed this. To be able to take some time to do absolutely nothing and not think about anything either. Just to be aware of his surroundings and breathe. It felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe in weeks.

So as much as he wanted to go back upstairs and continue where he and Steve had left off last night, he was really enjoying just being outside like this. He was even enjoying the slightly sore feeling that yesterday had left him with. It was an ever-present, somehow wonderful reminder of their perfect first night together.

Clint chuckling loudly broke Bucky out of his peacefulness. He squinted over at him to see Clint reading his phone.

“What’s funny?” Wanda asked him before Bucky could, peering over at him from behind her sunglasses.

“Sharon says Murdock is threatening to sue Shield for losing Bucky,” Clint replied with a little laugh, which was interrupted by a little growl coming out of Steve, as he sat up.

Bucky chuckled too, both at what Clint had said and at Steve’s overreaction. “Down boy,” he told Steve, Steve frowning back at him. He could definitely picture Matt doing that, as though Bucky was a commodity that had gone missing. He briefly wondered just how upset Matt was. Was he just upset that he lost what he considered to be his omega, or did he truly like Bucky himself? Was he sad to not get to see him anymore? Bucky shook the thoughts away. Either way, it didn’t matter.

Steve made a tiny noise and reached out for him, pulling Bucky back to the present. He happily shuffled over a little, Steve pulling him close when he could, wrapping him up in his arms, pressing his face into Bucky’s hair. Steve was probably thinking about all the worst things that could have happened, so Bucky did his best to soothe him, hugging him back tightly.

“Oh god, you guys are just too adorable,” Clint grinned at Bucky.

Bucky grinned back over Steve’s shoulder. “Thanks.” He managed to untangle himself from Steve so he could stretch, Steve pouting a little as he did. “I’m gonna go and get dinner started.” It was later than he’d realised, having spent a while just drifting with his eyes shut.

He’d decided earlier that cooking for everyone was the least he could do to show his appreciation for them all. Plus the omega in him wanted to make something delicious for his alpha. They’d already all had a couple of slices of his cake and very little was left. Steve had heaped so much praise on him after eating it that Bucky had turned tomato red and Clint had made fun of him until Steve started glowering at him for it, ever protective of Bucky and his feelings.

Steve also got to his feet as Bucky stood up and stretched a little with a yawn.

Bucky gave him a look of amusement, realising he intended to follow. “You’re not letting me out of your sight, are you?” he realised. Steve hadn’t left his side basically all day. That was sure to get stifling, but right now, Bucky didn’t care. He didn’t want to be out of Steve’s sight. They were bound to be both feeling a little fragile after everything, plus their soul-bond was still there, making it difficult for them to be apart anyway.

Steve just smiled and took his hand. “You said you’d teach me to cook.”

“I think that was baking, but alright,” Bucky allowed, happily squeezing Steve’s warm hand. “We’ll call you in when it’s ready,” he told the others.

“Thanks, Bucky,” Wanda smiled, laying back down and putting her sunglasses down on the blanket.

He and Steve walked back to the house, hand in hand. Bucky was so happy he thought he might burst. It was hard to believe that his life had turned out like this. Three months ago, he’d been waking up to what felt like the worst day of his life, and now…now he was waking up to the day after the best day of his life. And hopefully soon he and Steve would be able to bond and he couldn’t even imagine how things could be even better than they were, but they would. They’d be connected forever. He could hardly comprehend that he’d found someone who wanted that with him, that he wanted just as much, if not more. And the idea that he got to be with Steve for the rest of their lives…Instead of overwhelming him, all he felt was pure joy at the idea.

Steve watched him with a soft little smile on his face as Bucky pottered around, getting out the ingredients they would need.

“Stop staring and get to work,” Bucky ordered him with a pleased smile, loving the attention.

Steve let out an over the top sigh at him but got to work, with a little grin on his face.

It turned out Steve was fairly adept at chopping, but he was also very distracting. He kept coming up behind Bucky to nuzzle into his neck or put little kisses there, rumbling low in his chest.

It probably should have been Bucky’s first clue in retrospect.

The second clue was a lot more obvious. After they’d called in the others to come and eat, Bucky was busy putting serving spoons into the bowls of roast potatoes and vegetables they’d made, about to carry them into the living room, when suddenly Steve let out a loud growl and Bucky found himself shoved back against the counter, Steve’s hulking form in front of him, blocking him in.

“Whoa, what’s going on big guy?”

Bucky peered round Steve’s shoulder to see Thor addressing Steve with both hands up, backing away slowly, as Wanda and Clint looked shocked, Steve’s attention apparently all on Thor.

Steve just growled again, low and threatening, moving slightly forward, and then back, as though torn between wanting to go for Thor and wanting to stay in front of Bucky.

“Ah, shit,” Clint sighed, as Bucky tried to figure out what the hell Steve thought Thor had done. “Steve?” he said in a strong voice. “It’s Clint. Thor’s going to the other room, okay?” he continued slowly. He nodded at Thor’s confused look and Thor shrugged and did as he said, slowly backing away, leaving the room.

Bucky could see Steve was watching his every step but seemed to calm considerably once Thor was gone from sight.

He turned round, gathering Bucky into his big arms, caging him in, protecting him, as Bucky let out a squeak of protest at the manhandling as Steve sniffed his hair.

“Uh, Bucky, how are you feeling?” Clint asked.

“Fine, why?” Bucky managed to mumble against Steve’s chest, as Steve started up those rumbling noises again.

“I think you might be about to go into heat.”

Bucky froze. Then he connected everything in his head.

“Steve’s clearly picking up on it,” Wanda chipped in.

“Shit,” Bucky breathed out. This was what he’d been dreading for so long when with Shield, but hoping for with Steve, because it meant they could finally bond. But he’d wanted to talk about everything first, wanted to discuss it with Steve, and he just hadn’t yet. This was too early. “Stevie?” he tried, tentatively.

Steve just rumbled loudly at him, petting his hair, and then licked his neck.

“Uh, okay.” Bucky wasn’t sure what to do.

“Steve, do you think you could let go of Bucky?” Clint ventured, approaching slowly.

Steve made a little warning growl at him, twisting his head round.

That was a no then.

“Steve, your omega needs you to take care of him, right? You need to make sure he has food and water and everything, right?” Clint tried, voice soft and compelling.

Steve looked at him and then down at Bucky. He made a pained noise and then finally let go of Bucky, only to grab him and lift him to sit him on the kitchen counter next to the sink, Bucky letting out a surprised noise at the action, gripping the edge of the counter to steady himself.

Then Steve reached out for Wanda and gently pulled her over in front of Bucky. “Stay,” he ordered both of them.

Wanda looked bemused. “I’ll look after him, I promise.”

Then Steve was off and running out the kitchen and they heard him thundering up the stairs.

“Weeeell…” Clint dragged out the word. “That was different.”

Bucky choked out a laugh. He’d never expected Steve to go full dumb alpha with him. It was a weird experience.

“You okay?” Clint asked him, clearly picking up on Bucky’s little bout of worrying. “You don’t have to have Steve with you for your heat if you don’t want to. We can lock him in somewhere.”

Bucky was pretty sure that would just result in a broken-down door. He shook his head, hands still gripping the edge of the counter. “I’m okay. I want Steve with me. I just…it would be nice if he wasn’t so out of it,” he admitted.

“I hate to say it, but you’re probably gonna be like that soon too,” Clint reminded him.

Bucky sighed. Clint was right about that. His heat always made him crazy with lust and need. It was a scary experience alone, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Steve there to help him through it. Maybe it could even be nice. There was a slight flutter in his stomach and then Bucky knew they were right and his heat was coming, because he was starting to miss Steve and not just in a soul-bond kind of way. He needed his alpha.

As if he knew, they heard Steve thundering back down the stairs, before he burst into the kitchen a little wild-eyed looking.

Bucky let out a little whine that he didn’t mean to and Steve was over to him in a second, wrapping his arms round him, and then he was lifting him up again, hands under his ass, Bucky wrapping his legs round him like a koala bear.

Bucky felt happiness settle over him at being in his alpha’s arms as Steve wrapped one arm round his back. His alpha was going to take care of him. His heat would definitely not be scary with Steve there taking care of him. The strong scent of woodsy cinnamon invaded his senses and he breathed in deeply near Steve’s neck.

Steve started carrying him from the room and Bucky smiled at the amused looks on Wanda and Clint’s faces as he gave them a little wave, gesturing to them to eat the food before they disappeared from sight.

Steve carried him carefully up the stairs, making that sound that Bucky now knew was meant to soothe him. It was totally working. He sighed happily in Steve’s arms and then Steve was carrying him into their bedroom.

Bucky’s eyes widened over Steve’s shoulder as Steve turned to get the door. Steve had made him a nest. He’d clearly raided the house for anything soft and piled it all carefully on the bed, making a warm round nest, with an indent in the middle for him to go in. Bucky let out a little purr of happiness.

Steve kissed his neck, scenting him, before he turned and walked over, placing Bucky down as carefully as if he’d been made of glass, right into the centre of the nest. He made a little happy rumbling noise as he looked at Bucky lying there and then uttered one word. “Stay.”

Bucky nodded, hands already reaching to feel the soft blankets and fabrics around him.

Then Steve was gone, out the door, shutting it behind him, thundering down the stairs again.

Bucky basked in it. His alpha had made him the most perfect nest ever. He felt so safe and warm and cocooned. Everything smelt like Steve as well. He must have rolled around in the nest before bringing Bucky up. Bucky couldn’t help laughing at that as he pressed his nose against a cushion.

And then Steve was back and he had a giant plate of food with him, along with bottles of water shoved under his armpits. He kicked the door closed and then brought the food over to Bucky.

“Eat,” he ordered with a proud smile, letting the bottles drop down onto the bed as Bucky shimmied into a sitting up position.

“Come sit with me,” Bucky requested, smiling at the pure adoration in Steve’s eyes. He might have been a little out of it and monosyllabic but he wasn’t going crazy and pulling off Bucky’s clothes. He was obviously just feeling a deep need to look after and provide for his omega. And Bucky didn’t mind that one bit.

Steve’s eyes brightened and he joined him carefully in the nest, eventually settling behind Bucky, acting sort of like a chair for him, as Bucky managed to hold onto the plate of food and not spill anything.

Bucky started eating, Steve warm against his back. When his full heat hit, he wouldn’t want to eat and Steve, or at least his alpha instinct, clearly knew that. Steve hummed happily behind him as he ate, occasionally picking up a carrot or potato and holding it out for Bucky to eat directly from his fingers. Bucky smiled to himself when Steve did that and allowed it.

It took a long time to convince Steve that he was done with the plate of food. He kept trying to coax Bucky to eat a little more. Finally, he gave in and set the plate on the bedside table.

Bucky snuggled back into Steve’s arms, happily full and sleepy now. He hoped the others had enjoyed their dinner, even though he was a little sad he didn’t get to eat with them. But it was fine. This was better. Just Steve and his perfect nest, warm and safe and happy.

He fell asleep like that, with Steve rumbling at him, his hands stroking down Bucky’s hair and arm, his head resting on Steve’s chest. He still dreamt of Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I love dumb alpha Steve 😊 
> 
> Thank you for your comments on the last chapter. I don't know what I did to deserve you guys.
> 
> Up next 🔥🔥🔥


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky goes into heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mainly filth. It really ran away from me.

For the second time in a week, Bucky woke up in pain. But it was a much more familiar pain than the pain Wanda had been forced to inflict on him. This feeling…this was definitely his heat starting.

He whined a little, shifting his legs as his stomach ached, and then Steve was awake and alert instantly.

“Bucky?” Steve moved so he was looking at Bucky’s face.

“Steve,” Bucky moaned out. “Are you lucid?”

“Lucid?” Steve blinked at him, and then Bucky saw the moment he remembered the previous night. “Oh. Fuck, Bucky, I’m sorry.”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s okay. Clint said you were reacting to my heat coming on.”

“Heat?” Steve questioned, and Bucky saw the moment he registered the scent around him. “Oh good god,” Steve hissed out.

“Before you go losing your higher brain function, I just want you to know, I trust you,” Bucky hurried to say, looking into Steve’s eyes, which were widening with lust. “And I want to bond with you,” he added firmly.

Steve nodded, eyes wide and happy now. “I’m gonna take care of you, Buck, I promise. Anything you need, anything.”

“Just need you,” Bucky tried to smile, but his stomach was really aching now. He stared at Steve’s chest, picturing the muscles underneath his shirt. God, his alpha was so big and strong. He couldn’t even imagine how satisfying it would be to have Steve filling him up during his heat. He wanted Steve’s hands on him, wanted his mouth on him too. Wanted their skin touching. He let out a needy little sound.

Instead of doing what Bucky wanted and coming closer, Steve was reaching for water. “Drink,” he told Bucky, opening the bottle and holding it for him.

Bucky dutifully took a couple of sips before sighing. “Too hot,” he complained, tugging at his own shirt.

Steve capped the bottle and flung it to the foot of the bed. “Here, sweetheart.” His hands started helping Bucky get his t-shirt off.

Bucky let out a small sigh as he lay back, bare-chested now. That felt nicer. “Need you,” he whinged, looking at Steve.

“I’m here, I got you.”

“Need you naked,” Bucky corrected himself.

Steve was in motion right away, shirt flung across the room, beach shorts off in one fluid motion too as Steve stood up, and then there he was in all his muscled glory for Bucky to stare at.

Bucky’s gaze dropped straight to Steve’s cock and he let out an embarrassingly needy whine. Fuck, did he want Steve in him. Steve was already hard, probably just the scent of his heat enough to do that to him, and he looked so good, Bucky couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He could now register how slick he’d been getting and how empty he felt. He wanted Steve’s knot filling him up, he was starting to ache for it. Damn, this heat was coming on fast.

Bucky wiggled his hips, pushing down his own shorts, his hard cock slapping against his stomach as it was freed, and Steve got the idea and helped, pulling them the rest of the way down his legs, fingers trailing along Bucky’s calves, before he returned to join Bucky in their nest, resting over him, hands propping him up.

The feel of Steve’s skin on his made his whole body feel hot and tingly. He pressed his face into Steve’s neck, his scent both soothing and a huge turn on, making more slick leak out of him.

Steve tucked his face against Bucky too, and now Bucky could hear him murmuring his name over and over. His alpha’s cock was hard and huge against his hip and Bucky could feel a little wetness leaking out. God, he wanted to feel it sliding into him again.

“Alpha,” Bucky whined, words coming without thought. “Want you.”

Steve rumbled, something meant to soothe Bucky, and he felt himself calm a little. “Have you,” Steve promised, hands running down Bucky’s chest, and then his mouth was latching over one of Bucky’s nipples and Bucky couldn’t help the low moan that came out of him as his chest jerked up in shock.

God it felt good. But he didn’t want to be teased. He wanted his alpha’s cock and he wanted it now. “Alpha, fuck me,” he begged.

His alpha gave a little warning growl. “Be good, my omega.”

Bucky gave in, surrendering to him, sighing happily, and relaxed in his nest. He was Steve’s omega. Steve was taking care of him. His mouth was trailing down his stomach and Bucky needed to be good and trust that Steve knew how to take care of him. But he whined again anyway. “Alpha…”

His breath was taken away as Steve’s mouth descended over his cock, wet and warm and so, so good. Bucky let out a litany of little wordless moans as Steve’s mouth enveloped him to the root. Less than a minute later, Bucky was coming in Steve’s mouth, too out of it to even warn him.

His alpha didn’t seem to mind. Seemed thrilled in fact. He was making a pleased little sound, nuzzling against Bucky’s softening cock, licking him clean, and then looked up Bucky’s body, so Bucky could meet his eyes and see how filled with pride they were.

“Water,” Steve commanded, finding the discarded bottle and crawling his way back up Bucky’s body, cradling his head so Bucky could sip without choking.

“Stevie,” Bucky blushed at the care Steve was taking of him, feeling a little more like himself now he’d come. He knew that wouldn’t last long. It seemed to have had the opposite affect on Steve. He was clearly heading back to hindbrain one-word Steve.

Bucky let his alpha make him drink a little more and then he registered Steve’s hard cock pressing up against his side as Steve nuzzled into his hair.

“Stevie, you with me?” Bucky murmured, turning his head so he could look into Steve’s eyes.

Steve nodded against Bucky’s shoulder. “Yeah, Buck.” He sounded a little shaky and Bucky marvelled at the strength of will that Steve had to have not gone completely feral. “It’s just so much...” he murmured, hands stroking over Bucky’s chest reverently, fingers trailing down in a meaningless pattern, like Steve was mapping out every inch of him.

“I love you,” Bucky smiled a little bashfully at him, reaching out to stroke over Steve’s arms. He loved his big, strong alpha arms. He could imagine them pinning him down on the bed or being used to defend him.

Steve sighed, a happy little noise. “I love you.”

The words were like sunlight reaching Bucky’s ears. He felt warm all over. He would never get over hearing those words from Steve’s mouth.

“Buck, I think…I think I’m going into rut,” Steve continued, pressing little hot kisses to Bucky’s chest.

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Shit.”

Steve shook his head, moving up to cradle Bucky’s face with one hand. “It’s okay, it’s what’s supposed to happen. So I can keep up with you.” He moved his hips a little, cock rubbing against Bucky, wetness leaking from the tip.

Bucky tugged on him, getting Steve to lean in so their lips could meet and kissed him hard. Steve quickly took over, kissing Bucky desperately, licking into his mouth, hand holding his face gently.

Bucky could feel himself getting wetter, slick probably dripping down onto the blankets and sheets beneath him, body no longer sated. Plus coming with Steve’s mouth on him, while perfect and delicious, was not what his body was craving. He needed his alpha inside him. “Please,” he murmured against Steve’s lips. “Need you.”

Steve broke the kiss. “Need you too, sweetheart. Need you so damn much.” He moved his hands, holding himself up with one, the other sliding down Bucky’s leg, squeezing the firm muscles. “So gorgeous, my pretty omega,” he muttered as he gazed down at Bucky.

Bucky whimpered a little at the praise. “Alpha,” he whined. Every touch felt incredible, but every touch wasn’t enough, wouldn’t be enough until his alpha was filling him up.

Steve tugged a little at his leg, getting Bucky to pull it up around Steve’s waist, before doing the same with the other one.

Bucky squeezed his legs tightly, his rapidly hardening cock pressing against his alpha’s abs with delicious friction, hands coming up to loop round his alpha’s neck, stroking over his scent glands, making Steve shudder.

Then one of Steve’s hands was reaching down and Bucky’s hips jerked off the bed as Steve ran his fingers down past Bucky’s balls to caress over his hole. “So slick and wet for me,” Steve choked out, and then there was a slight pressure and then just the feeling of pure satisfaction as Steve slid a finger inside, easy as anything.

“Please, please, please,” Bucky panted. It felt so good, so fucking good, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more.

Steve quickly pressed in with another finger, Bucky keening at the feeling, throwing his head back.

“Fuck, sliding right in…you want me, don’t you, my omega, need me…” Steve babbled out as he gently slid his fingers in and out.

It was maddening and wonderful and Bucky was starting to lose all higher brain function. He needed his alpha’s cock, needed to be filled up. “Alpha, please…” he whined again. “Fuck me,” he pleaded, lost in sensation, feeling hot, sweat beading on his back, dampening the soft sheets.

Everything was too hot, in fact. The room was filled with the scent of his heat and Steve’s arousal, like a dense fog, making it almost hard to breathe fully, and his body was alight with the feeling of Steve over him, fingers inside him, and god, Bucky needed him so badly.

Steve rumbled low in his chest, trying to calm Bucky, but Bucky was too far gone for it to work much as Steve gently pulled his fingers free, leaving Bucky clenching on nothing, hating the empty feeling. He snarled at his alpha, annoyed with him.

Steve gave him a little warning growl back and Bucky instantly submitted, pouting and stretching his neck out. “Shhh, omega, sweet thing,” his alpha mumbled, Bucky watching as he slid his slick covered hand down his own cock, wetting it. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

Bucky let out a huge breath, shutting his eyes, as finally he felt the blunt head of Steve’s cock at his aching hole. Everything narrowed down to that feeling, that perfect anticipation, his body going wild for it.

His eyes flew open as Steve breached him, with just a little pressure before the head popped right in. He sucked in a breath at the sensation, Steve groaning above him. He loved the initial breach, the way his body gave for his alpha, letting him in, and god, his alpha felt so big, finally giving him what he was craving, stretching him on his cock.

“Feel perfect, fuck,” Steve managed, meeting Bucky’s eyes as he pressed in further with a shift of his hips.

Bucky had never felt anything more satisfying and gloriously perfect as his alpha pushed in steadily, until Steve let out a groan of pleasure, hips pressed against Bucky, finally fully flush inside him. It was like his body was made for Steve, taking him easily, much easier than last night. He felt full up beyond belief, but so happy and sated with it, his body releasing a rush of endorphins at getting what he was craving.

“Mine,” Steve breathed out the one word, and then he was grabbing Bucky’s thigh with a tight grip and easing his hips back, cock dragging inside, lighting up every inch of Bucky.

He scrabbled his fingers for purchase on Steve’s neck as pleasure lit him up from the inside, panting loudly. “Oh god…”

“Good omega, my omega…” Steve babbled out as he pushed back in, starting to thrust in earnest now, chest heaving, sweat running down.

All Bucky could do was lie there and take it, crying out for his alpha in overwhelmed pleasure, Steve leaning in and licking over his scent glands whenever Bucky keened. It was at once like last night and nothing like it at all. Steve wasn’t as measured, wasn’t as worried, rut taking him over, but Bucky wasn’t as nervous, his body only feeling pleasure. He was made to take his alpha’s knot. He wanted it, needed it badly. He’d slicked up more than he ever had before, body dripping, welcoming his alpha’s cock at every thrust that was so deep he swore he felt it in his throat. He didn’t have the brain capacity to worry about what he looked like or if he felt good for Steve—his alpha was fucking into him hard now, gorgeous noises answering that question for him, his own body seeming to only really care about his own pleasure right then. And Steve’s thick length, pounding into him, was giving him everything he needed.

“Oh fuck, oh god…” Bucky’s eyes widened, fingernails digging into Steve’s shoulders. He was starting to feel something different every time Steve pulled back now. Steve’s knot was forming. Bucky swallowed, his body sending little shockwaves up his spine at the unknown sensation.

Steve sucked down on his neck and Bucky couldn’t stop it even if he’d wanted to, as he came with a loud noise of surprise, clenching around Steve’s cock so tightly, his own cock spurting against his stomach and chest, tremors running over his whole body as he gripped onto Steve’s back, feeling like he was holding on for dear life.

Steve growled in pleasure, pushing his hips flush when his knot started to tug at Bucky’s hole, grinding into Bucky now as his knot fully expanded, Bucky crying out at the feeling. God, it was just too full, it was immense, he didn’t know how he was supposed to handle it, Steve’s knot pressing up against every inch of him inside, locking them together. It was too much…but it was everything…this was what his body wanted. He felt like a vice, locked around Steve’s cock, knot filling him up, keeping them together, overwhelming him.

Bucky kept making unintelligible noises as he tried to adjust to the feeling, as Steve grinded and nosed against his neck.

“Mate,” Steve grumbled out.

“Yes, yes, yes, Stevie, god, want you…” Bucky could barely think, but he knew that was true.

And then Steve grinded his hips once more and Bucky felt that odd sensation as he realised Steve was coming, filling him up, spurting inside him, and then…then Steve’s lips were at his neck again, right on his scent gland, a kiss that turned into a bite, as Steve broke skin and Bucky cried out at the feeling, coming untouched on Steve’s cock again, squeezing almost painfully around his knot, and Bucky’s mind got flooded with emotions.

****

Bucky came back to himself slowly. He hadn’t passed out, he knew that, but he’d been so overwhelmed he’d been somewhat insensate.

Steve was licking over his neck gently, instinctively, something in his alpha saliva known to help heal the bite and stop it bleeding.

Bucky was so happy and proud. Then he realised some of that was coming from Steve, through the bond. Because they were bonded. Steve had bit him and now they were bonded.

It took Bucky a few tries to really believe it and then more happiness flooded him, this time definitely his own.

The next sensation he registered was the feeling of Steve’s knot, still heavy and full, almost pulsing inside him, locking them together. His legs had dropped from their hold on Steve’s waist, changing the angle, and he could feel the way Steve’s knot pressed against him differently now.

He lifted his hand to run his fingers into Steve’s hair, damp with sweat, Steve turning away from his licking for a moment. When their eyes met, Bucky could see the moment Steve became a bit more Steve again, his eyes widening.

“Bucky,” he said softly, reverently.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky giggled out, flying high on endorphins.

Steve looked down at the bonding bite and then back to Bucky’s face. “Sweetheart…” he breathed out in surprise.

Bucky could feel his amazement and pride and happiness through the bond, but there was a slight worry in the background marring it. “Happy, Stevie,” Bucky sighed smiling, exhausted but so pleased. “I’m so happy.”

The worry disappeared. “Yeah?”

“I know you can feel it, stop fishing,” Bucky smirked at him, pulling Steve down for a long soft kiss, the shift making pleasure zing up his spine.

Steve sighed happily as he pulled back then lifted his neck to Bucky. “Bite.”

Bucky looked at him with slight incredulousness. “You want me to?” Alphas sometimes let their mate do that, but not often. It made you equals. Most alphas didn’t see their relationships that way. Then he wondered why he was surprised. Of course Steve would want that. Steve was the very embodiment of real alpha perfection, both strong and brave but also kind and sensitive and non-traditionalist. Bucky knew he’d be proud to show he was Bucky’s mate.

Steve nodded happily. “Want everyone to know I’m yours.”

Bucky smiled at Steve seemingly reading his mind and then wiggled his hips a little, testing, and Steve let out a choked off moan. “You come again and I’ll bite you,” Bucky offered. He couldn’t lie—the bite itself had hurt, even through the haze and post-orgasmic bliss. He didn’t want Steve to hurt. An orgasm would definitely help a little at least.

“Fuck,” Steve breathed out. “I can do that.” He grinded his hips a little, getting a gasp out of Bucky. “Want to fill you up so full…”

Bucky panted against Steve’s lips as he leant down to kiss him, before moving his hips again, Steve’s knot moving a little inside him, making Bucky gasp again, oversensitive.

“Come for me,” Bucky moaned at him. He wasn’t sure how long he could take this. He felt stretched and sore and on fire, but it was an exquisite torture none the less.

Steve kissed him again, before grinding, fucking into Bucky as much as he could with them locked together, Bucky realising he could help as he clenched down on Steve’s knot, the feeling leaving him breathless as Steve let out a little growl.

“Fuck, feel so good, Buck, so damn perfect…squeezing on my knot…” Steve mumbled, stilted movements faster now. “Love you so much…”

“Neck,” Bucky ordered, and Steve leant in closer again, stretching his neck to the side, so Bucky could kiss over his scent gland.

That seemed to be Steve’s undoing. His hips stuttered and he seemed to stop breathing, and then Bucky felt another weird rush of wetness and warmth inside and Steve let out a long grunt and panted over him and Bucky bit down hard enough to break skin.

There wasn’t a rush this time, but something felt somehow solidified, as Bucky tried to soothe the bite, eventually gently pressing a towel from their nest to Steve’s neck to stem the bleeding. His saliva wasn’t made for this like Steve’s was and he didn’t want Steve hurting.

If Steve was hurting though, he wasn’t showing it. He’d all but collapsed down on Bucky’s chest, still locked with him, happy prideful satisfaction coming through the bond.

Bucky knew he was reflecting it back as he lay there, whole body glowing. He loved feeling his alpha pressed against him, knowing that his omega could handle it, not treating him like glass. He loved feeling Steve’s weight over him, their sweat-slick skin pressed together.

Steve reached out with one hand, feeling his way to find Bucky’s, entangling their fingers.

Bucky didn’t know how long they lay there, tucked in the perfect nest Steve had made them. He was just existing in a perfect moment, not wanting it to stop, his brain floating off somewhere in the clouds with the bliss he was feeling. He’d never imagined it could be like this. To know he was connected to Steve like this, forever, to know and be able to _feel_ how much Steve loved him through the bond…it was everything.

Eventually Steve shifted, his knot finally going down, gently pulling himself free, laying soft kisses down Bucky’s chest as he did.

Bucky couldn’t help a little gasp at the feeling after being full for so long. He could feel slick and come sliding out of him as he clenched weakly around nothing, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He closed his eyes and stretched out his legs a little, having been in the same position for a while, feeling a little achy.

“Here, sweetheart.”

Bucky opened his eyes to see Steve had located the water bottle again. “Not thirsty,” Bucky replied. That wasn’t technically true, he just really didn’t want to sit up yet.

“Please?” Steve tried to coax him. “Just a little, I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

“You need to drink too,” Bucky reminded him.

Steve looked at him and then the bottle and then took a long sip. “Now you,” he held it out.

Bucky sighed and managed to drag himself up a little, wincing as more stuff slid out of him. He took a sip before handing Steve the bottle back. “There. Happy?”

“Very,” Steve smiled.

Bucky squirmed a little as even more slick and come seemed to slide out of him. God, how much had Steve come? When he looked back at Steve, his eyes were fixed down between Bucky’s legs, probably smelling what he couldn’t really see from there.

“Fuck, can I see?” Steve sputtered.

“What?” Bucky asked, wide-eyed as he realised what Steve was asking.

“I…please?”

Bucky could feel lust and want through the bond now. He figured it must be an alpha thing—he’d heard of alphas wanting to look and touch after knotting, to see evidence of their coupling, and the omega part of him wanted to please his alpha more than the Bucky part of him was embarrassed, so he nodded. “Okay,” he replied softly.

Steve’s eyes widened with excitement. “Roll over,” he requested.

Bucky did as his alpha wanted, rolling onto his stomach, then squeaked a little at the feeling of Steve’s hands on his cheeks, exposing him.

“Fuck,” Steve growled out.

A finger circled his slightly swollen hole, Bucky whimpering at the feeling, and then…then he shrieked, because Steve lowered his mouth to him, licking up the mess they’d made.

“Stevie,” Bucky shuddered, blushing into the pillows. Steve’s mouth felt amazing and then he felt Steve’s fingers there again, and then they were pressing into his hip, rubbing in a little circle, as Steve growled with pleasure, and Bucky knew what he was doing. He was scent marking him, with their combined scents, to make it absolutely clear that they belonged to one another.

Steve didn’t stop until he seemed to deem that Bucky was all cleaned up, to his alpha standards at least, which in fact meant Bucky was hilariously dirty, but he couldn’t seem to care. His alpha was happy and hugely pleased with himself. He wrapped himself around Bucky’s back, snuffling at his neck, breathing pleased little breaths against his skin.

Bucky felt content and sleepy in that moment, though he knew his heat was far from over. It was just a little reprieve before he’d probably start begging Steve again. “Tired,” he murmured, moving under Steve, wanting to be held, instead of pinned.

Steve gently moved over until he was lying sideways in the indent in their nest, Bucky resting his head on one of Steve’s huge arms, as his alpha fussed around him, tucking him back against his chest, pulling blankets closer and over him, keeping him warm.

Bucky dug his fingers into the softness around him, closing his eyes with a happy smile. His alpha was so good to him.

He let himself drift, vaguely registering the feeling of Steve’s warm body tucked in behind him and little kisses dancing all down his neck, light as a feather over his fresh bond bite, sending goosebumps down his arms. His last thought before he fell asleep was that he was the luckiest omega in the world.

****

Steve awoke to the sound of his omega whining. He felt alert almost instantly as he opened his eyes to find Bucky pressing his ass back into him. His body must have noticed before his brain woke him, because he was already fully hard.

“Buck?” he pulled himself up a little so he could see Bucky’s face.

Bucky turned, craning his neck to see Steve. “Alpha…” he whined. “Need you.”

Steve felt like all the blood left his brain. That feeling, of knowing his omega needed him, it made all other thoughts leave his head, his entire focus only on taking care of his sweet omega. He could even feel the need coming through the bond now, could feel how Bucky was craving him.

For just a moment, he basked in the incredible realisation that Bucky was his omega, truly. They were _bonded_. Steve had felt half mad at the time, barely able to make words come out, but it had been unbelievable, the feeling that had come over him. Bucky was his forever. He had chosen him. Steve would never understand it, but he’d never been so happy or grateful for anything in his life.

Bucky made a muffled little hurt noise, snapping Steve back to the situation at hand, and Steve’s alpha brain started taking over. “Shh, I got you, baby,” he soothed Bucky.

Bucky just pressed his hips back, making Steve groan at the sight, before moving away onto all fours, then lowering his chest down.

Presenting for Steve.

“Fucking Christ,” Steve breathed out.

“Please, alpha, need you, need your knot,” Bucky all but sobbed now, and Steve’s instincts took over. His omega was hurting. He needed to make him feel good.

Lust started clouding his head, rut taking over at the hot as hell sight of Bucky there waiting for him, pleading for him and that goddamn scent of him. He smelt like melted sugar but with a musky layer of something else, something specific to his heat, that got Steve hard the instant he smelt it, because it smelt like lust and want and need. He moved behind his omega, stroking his hands down Bucky’s waist, making him whimper, moving closer, his cock pressing up against Bucky’s ass.

Bucky made a little noise of pleasure, pushing his ass back against him, trying to get him inside, and Steve shuddered at the visual. Bucky was so beautiful always, always sexy and hot without realising it, but this…this was another level. There were no inhibitions, no shyness, just his gorgeous omega looking sinfully delectable.

Steve ran his fingers down and let out a noise of approval at how wet his omega was for him, practically dripping for him. He was so perfect. The alpha in him wanted to taste again, but it would have to wait. His omega was waiting for him.

He guided his cock to nudge against Bucky’s wet hole, and then groaned as the head slipped in with barely any effort, his omega desperate for it.

Bucky let out a beautiful sigh, like Steve filling him up was the best thing in the world, and Steve pressed in all the way, eyes rolling back at the slick, tight heat of him and the way Bucky was rhythmically squeezing round him.

“Fuck,” Steve panted out, and then he started moving, unable to wait, sliding out to the head easily before pushing back in, thrusts quickly speeding up, sweat and heat and lust clouding over everything.

He delighted in the noises his omega made—little, perfect mewls of pleasure every time Steve rocked into him, body resting over his omega’s back. He could smell himself all over Bucky now, remembering the scent marking he’d done, rut apparently making him do things he would never usually think to do. He knew he’d probably be mortified when his rut was over, but right now he was sort of beaming with pride about it.

He thrust into his omega faster now, need starting to take over everything. It didn’t take much for his omega to come. His heat made him both insatiable and apparently easy to please. And god was it beautiful when he came with a full body shudder, noises of disbelief escaping his mouth, as though the shock of pleasure took him by surprise.

“Please, knot me,” his omega whined as he dropped to the bed flat, exhausted.

Steve went with the sudden movement, pressing his body flush against Bucky’s back, leaning to smell his neck from behind, nerves singing with pleasure as he did. “Mmm, not yet, sweet omega,” he murmured. He wasn’t hardly done yet.

He pulled out, his omega whimpering as he did, making a confused little noise, as Steve struggled to not come himself as he looked at all the slick all over him and how it had leaked down his omega’s thighs. He licked the little he had on his fingers, delighting in the sweet taste.

Bucky twisted his head to look at him where he was kneeling at the edge of the nest, and whined needily. “Alpha, don’t leave,” he whispered.

Steve growled at the accusation, almost insulted by the very idea that he would ever, could ever… “Never,” he promised vehemently. “Turn over for me,” he requested, voice softer now, palming his cock lazily, eyes trailing all over his omega’s naked sweat-damp body. God, what a sight it was.

Bucky turned, eyes bashful, as Steve took in the mess he’d made on the sheet beneath him and all over his own stomach.

“Look at you,” he murmured, eyes awed, more pre-come beading at the slit of his dick at the sight of Bucky.

“Alpha, please,” his omega whined softly, as though confused about why his alpha was making him wait, and Steve was over him again in a second, caging Bucky in with his arms, before pushing his knees up to his chest.

“Stay just like that, sweet omega,” Steve murmured, before pressing his cock back in where it belonged.

Bucky keened loudly as Steve bottomed out, reaching up to grip onto the wooden headboard slats. “Ah, god…alpha, fuck…” he choked out, eyes dark with pleasure and lust, as Steve started thrusting into that incomparable slick heat.

“That’s it, omega,” Steve grumbled low next to his ear, back muscles flexing as he pounded his cock into his omega so fiercely now that the headboard seemed to be shaking, his omega holding on for dear life. “Taking me so good…such a sweet thing…”

He felt overwhelmed by need and desire, laser-focused on making his omega come, again and again. He saw his omega sneaking a hand down to touch himself and he growled warningly before pinning the wayward hand down onto the bed. “Mm mm,” he admonished, even as he continued to sink into his omega over and over again. “No touching. I’ve got you.”

His omega let out a choked noise of frustration. “Can’t, it’s too much…” he whined, face scrunched up.

Steve slowed his pace, leaning in to lick at Bucky’s mating bite, making his omega shiver on his cock. “You’re okay,” he soothed. “I’ll give you what you need, I promise, sweetheart.”

Bucky made a little noise and Steve pulled back to see those big eyes, filled with both want and a little distress. He wasn’t used to this, Steve knew, had only experienced heats a few times, and always alone. But Steve knew the best thing for his omega was to come a few times in a row so his body would be sated enough to sleep for longer this time.

“Shh, shh,” Steve soothed, now sensually sliding into Bucky, instead of pounding into him, giving him a small reprieve.

“Alpha…Steve…” Bucky stuttered out, voice wrecked, clenching around Steve’s cock.

“Feel so good, sweetheart,” Steve praised, so glad his brain had decided to stay more lucid and allow him to form words this time. “So tight even with how wet you are.” He kissed along Bucky’s collarbone, marvelling at his soft, soft skin.

Bucky made a choked noise at the praise, body tightening around Steve even more. “Please…” he breathed out.

“Mmm, what do you need, sweet omega,” Steve murmured back, running his fingers along Bucky’s thigh, before turning his head and pressing kisses there too.

“More…I want more…” his omega whinged.

“You just said it was too much,” Steve reminded him lightly, hips now circling but barely thrusting.

“No, please…I need to come, please…”

Steve chuckled internally at the fickleness of his omega’s wants, though it was completely understandable with the state he was in from his heat. “Okay, sweetheart, whatever you need.” He looked up to meet those gorgeous eyes, which were looking all doe-eyed at him. “You need me to fuck you hard again?”

Bucky nodded enthusiastically, fingers tightening on the headboard again, preparing himself. “Please, alpha?” he asked, so sweetly.

Steve lifted back and pulled himself all the way out, before pressing back in, in one swift movement.

Bucky jerked, the headboard creaking, as he let out a loud gasp. “Oh god, alpha…”

Steve kept that up, long thrusts, pulling almost all the way out, letting his omega feel the full girth of his cockhead each time, before plunging in back to the root.

His omega was making noises like he couldn’t get enough air as Steve started to lose himself again, feeling all the desire through the bond from his omega and how much he craved his alpha’s cock.

He shifted, gripping his omega’s leg, lifting it onto his shoulder, and his omega cried out at the change of sensation as Steve’s cock aimed straight at his prostate now, over and over.

“Fuck, alpha, I’m gonna come…I’m gonna…” his omega whined at him, words coming in time with Steve’s thrusts. “Oh god, please knot me…please, ah…”

His omega’s words cut off as he clenched up tightly, headboard creaking dangerously as Bucky gripped so tightly, Steve was worried about him hurting his hands, and then Bucky came hard around him, his cock spurting weakly against his stomach.

Steve shuddered a little, filling with pride that he was able to make his omega feel so good, while Bucky unintentionally made Steve feel incredible. He waited for Bucky to stop spasming around him and then pulled out carefully, reaching for Bucky’s hands to rub them gently, as Bucky’s legs collapsed down, chest heaving. Steve kissed his fingertips as Bucky’s breathing evened out and he opened his eyes again.

“You didn’t…” he whined, looking down at his own body.

Steve released his fingers and turned so he was lying down on his back in their nest. “Come over here, sweetheart,” he requested.

Bucky pouted but did as asked, choosing to clamber over Steve, lying with his legs spread over his hips, pressing his chest against his, pinning Steve’s still hard cock between them, face resting on Steve’s pec.

“Why didn’t you knot me?” his omega complained as he sighed against him.

“Soon, sweetheart,” Steve promised. “Can’t fuck you good when I’m locked in you, can I?” he added.

“But I’m…” Bucky trailed off.

“Fucked?” Steve questioned, wondering if that was the word Bucky was going to say, with a little chuckle.

Bucky huffed against his chest. “Satisfied,” he corrected, with an annoyed tone.

“You’re sure?” Steve questioned, still feeling lust and need through the bond, and revelling in how he could feel slick dripping onto him from Bucky as he lay there.

“I…” Bucky started, before stopping.

“Mmm, didn’t think so. Trust your alpha, sweetheart,” Steve hummed. He breathed in, getting a delicious hit of the scent of Bucky’s slick.

His omega’s hand started playing with his nipple after a minute or so of lying there recovering, and Steve groaned as the feeling tingled down his body. “Mmm, sweetheart, what are you doing?”

“Nothin’,” Bucky replied, squirming a little now, rubbing against Steve’s cock with his belly.

“Need it already?” Steve asked, stroking through Bucky’s hair.

He could tell his omega very much wanted to say no, but what came out was a broken noise of consternation.

“Want one more?” Steve offered with a little smile. God, he wanted his omega again. He was already missing that heat round him.

His omega whimpered, like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Come up here, sweetheart,” he requested gently, and Bucky lifted his head and eased himself up so his hands were on Steve’s shoulders, and met his eyes. He looked embarrassed, like he didn’t understand why he was so needy and wanton.

“Shh, baby, you’re perfect. It’s just your heat, just what your body needs, don’t be embarrassed,” Steve promised him, kissing him gently, always loving Bucky’s soft, sweet lips. He reached down between them to grip his own cock. “Do you think you can slide onto me this way, sweetheart?”

Bucky looked down and then nodded when he met Steve’s eyes. He moved until he was straddling Steve’s waist and then eased himself down, letting out a deep groan as Steve breached him.

“Is that better, baby?” Steve soothed, internally struggling with the incredibly tight fit and how deep Bucky sank onto him at this angle.

His omega had his eyes closed, neck extended as he leant back, showing off his bond bite, sighing with pleasure that zinged across the bond. “Mmm so big, alpha, so good…”

“Come for me once more and I’ll knot you, sweet omega,” Steve promised. He didn’t think he could hold back any longer than one more even if he wanted to.

Bucky opened his eyes and nodded slightly, before putting his hands flat on Steve’s chest, and starting to lift himself. It took a little while for him to get a rhythm going but then he was rising and falling over Steve, fucking himself on his alpha’s cock in short little thrusts that were still powerful enough to have Steve groaning in pleasure.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Steve encouraged, moving his hands to Bucky’s hips to help steady him.

Eventually Bucky started whimpering. “I can’t…it’s too…” he whined.

Steve pulled himself up to sitting, making Bucky squeak. “Your legs getting tired, baby? Want me to help?”

Bucky nodded, wrapping his arms round Steve’s neck where he was now sat in his lap, and then he yelped in surprise as Steve pistoned his hips up, fucking up into him.

Bucky made these sweet little grunting noises at each thrust, fingers stroking along Steve’s neck and hair, pressing their chests tightly together, until Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been feeling Bucky so tight and slick on his cock for god knows how long now and he needed to knot him badly now. Needed to lock with him and fill him up.

He wrapped his arms round Bucky, before rolling them over so Bucky was on his side and then kissed him as Bucky whimpered again at the movement. Then he pulled out gently and moved Bucky so they were spooning, knowing it would be more comfortable for Bucky when they were locked together, before quickly pushing back inside him again, Bucky letting out a gasp.

Steve pressed into Bucky deeply, circling his hips a little now, the tightness and warmth overwhelming, feeling his knot starting to form. He moved more carefully, not wanting to hurt Bucky as they became locked together as he fully popped his knot, his omega crying out at what must have been immense pressure. Steve felt like his whole body was on a knife-edge and then he was coming, flooding his omega with his release.

It took a few minutes for his brain to kick back in and when it did, Bucky was making that little purring sound that was always the best sound Steve ever heard.

“Mmm, omega…” he murmured, shifting a little, moving Bucky’s sweat-damp hair away from his neck so he could press kisses there, making Bucky shiver.

Bucky reached back with his hand to find Steve’s and interlaced their fingers. “Feel so good, alpha.”

Steve filled with pride. His whole soul was glowing with pleasure and he knew some of that was coming through the bond. He adjusted his body a little, his knot shifting as they stayed locked together.

Bucky let out a moan of pleasure, so Steve did it again, grinding a little, the only movement he could make, making Bucky shudder.

“Mmm wanna come on your knot,” Bucky whined.

Steve wasn’t going to deny him that. He pulled back a little until he could find the right angle to let him grind against Bucky’s sweet spot and Bucky yelped beneath him.

“Alpha!”

“Sweet omega, you feel so good,” Steve murmured back soothingly as Bucky jerked and shuddered at the sensations, probably oversensitive but his body still wanting it. He grinded in deep, reaching round Bucky’s body to pinch his nipples and that was all it took. He grunted in pleasure as his omega unbelievably tightened up even more around his cock, clenching on his knot, rhythmically squeezing as he came hard, sobbing into the bed, beautiful sounds coming out of him. God, his omega was stunning when he came.

Steve was going to come again too. He’d heard that an alpha could come multiple times in a row while locked in his omega, but he’d never really imagined it would be like this. He felt a desperate need to fill his omega up with his seed, to breed him, fill him with pups, brain providing a visual of Bucky round with them, looking amazing.

He came hard at the image, spurting into his omega, who keened weakly at the feeling, as Steve dropped his head down onto their nest of blankets.

It took a few seconds for his brain to come back online and remember what he’d just been thinking and then a horrible sense of loss hit him, almost as though he and Bucky had just lost the pups they were going to have. He took a choked breath, trying to calm down. He was being an idiot, feeling loss for something that he could never have. He could fuck Bucky full of his come and it wouldn’t make a difference. They would never have pups.

And that was okay, he reminded himself. As he came back to himself even more, he knew it was just his alpha hindbrain making him think that way. Maybe if things had been different, maybe…But no, he cut his thoughts off. Things were how they were. Bucky didn’t want them and Steve couldn’t have them. And that was okay. It really was. It was just the alpha in him that felt an inherent need to breed. It was just evolutionary biology at work.

“Stevie?”

Steve frowned at his omega’s voice. His name being uttered sounded like the single saddest word he’d ever heard. “Buck, sweetheart?” He leant over him, wrapping his arms around him.

Bucky turned his head so he could see Steve over his shoulder. “Why are you so sad?” Bucky asked, voice barely a whisper.

Now Steve was focused, he could feel fear coming through the bond. His beautiful Bucky was scared.

Steve shook his head, leaning in to kiss Bucky’s bond bite gently, Bucky letting out a little involuntarily sigh as he did. “I’m not, I’m not, sorry, sweetheart,” Steve practically begged for forgiveness. How could he have let Bucky feel that, made him think he’d done something wrong and that his alpha wasn’t happy.

“Don’t lie to me,” Bucky turned his head back, unable to go anywhere while they were still locked together. “I can feel it, you know I can.”

Steve sighed gently and rested his head back down. Bucky didn’t want to look at him, so he wouldn’t force it and instead spoke to the back of his omega’s beautiful head. “Oh baby, no. I…it was just my stupid alpha brain thinking stupid things.”

“What things?” Bucky asked, voice full of concern, but with a tone that said he wouldn’t back down.

Steve let out a breath and stroked Bucky’s hair back carefully, hoping the touch wouldn’t be unwanted. “Stupid things about breeding,” he admitted.

“Oh.” The word seemed to echo for a moment. “Is that…that made you sad?” Bucky asked tentatively.

Steve shook his head, though Bucky couldn’t see it, and then wrapped an arm round his chest, pulling him closer, breathing his scent in, wanting desperately to comfort Bucky. “No, sweetheart, it just…not me, but alpha me, does that make sense? Like my body wants it, has that urge, and it got into my head.”

Bucky let out a breath and turned his head to look at Steve again. “So it was just…instinct?”

Steve smiled softly as those big eyes hit him full force. “Exactly,” he nodded. “I wish it wasn’t there, but when we’re like this,” he looked down at their bodies for a moment, and a faint blush appeared on Bucky’s cheeks when he looked back at him, “it seems like I can’t help thinking it.”

“But it’s just that, it’s not you?” Bucky checked, eyes unsure. “Cause we could adopt or something if you really want to? I could try?” he added, words coming quickly, like he was panicking.

God, Steve loved him. He knew that Bucky meant it, could feel it from him. But he would never want Bucky to do something he didn’t want to and he knew he was just speaking from a place of fear right now. He stroked his hand down Bucky’s cheek. “I meant what I said, Buck. Just you is all I want. It’s enough for me, I promise you that.”

“Really?” Bucky looked doubtful.

Steve pressed little kisses against his face, trying to smother Bucky with his love and affection, hoping Bucky could feel it through the bond. “You’re my world, can’t you feel it?”

Bucky looked happier and Steve started to feel him relax. Bucky nodded, eyes fierce. “You’re mine too.”

Steve felt like his heart was turning to mush. “I…I can’t promise this won’t happen again,” he realised. “When you’re like this…it’s like all my higher brain function flies out the window.”

Bucky nodded. “Me too.” He cringed a little. “I haven’t asked you to breed me, have I?”

Steve chuckled a little. “Not that I remember.”

“If I do, will you forgive me?” Bucky said with a grimace.

“If you forgive me if I say anything stupid about filling you with pups.”

Bucky sighed, a sense of relief and contentment coming through the bond now. “Deal.” He turned his head and rested it back on a pillow. “I think I’m gonna take a little nap,” he mumbled, their exertion clearly taking its toll on him.

Steve nuzzled into his neck. “You do that.”

“Probably gonna wake you again in five minutes, horny as hell,” Bucky muttered with an annoyed noise.

“Can’t say I mind,” Steve chuckled into his soft skin. He was somewhat exhausted and still locked in his omega, but he could definitely keep up with him. He would give Bucky whatever he needed.

Bucky sighed happily, and Steve felt so much contentment and bliss through the bond, it was almost overwhelming. He snuggled down into the soft nest too, figuring he should nap while Bucky did, to regain his strength for the next wave of his omega’s heat, drifting into sleep with a smile on his face.

He felt like he might love this even more than what they’d just done—just lying with Bucky tucked against him, safe and warm and together and knowing—and feeling—just how happy his omega was.

He wanted nothing more than to make his omega this happy forever and ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Nothing bad happened!
> 
> One left 😭 I'm not ready for this to be over 😭 I hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments always welcome 😊


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve's future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...this is it 😭 Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you enjoy the last chapter.

Maybe that feeling of pure bliss didn’t last forever in the end, but it did last for eight days. Bucky’s heat was immense, maybe because he’d been on suppressants for a long time, or maybe because they were bonded or they were soulmates, Steve didn’t know. But it felt like they’d both run ten marathons when Bucky’s heat finally settled, Steve’s rut following as though linked to his omega.

The others had been wonderful, leaving food and drink outside their door, but otherwise never really interrupting them. Steve was grateful because at times he wasn’t sure he _could_ have left Bucky, even just to go downstairs to the kitchen. He didn’t even like leaving their nest to go to the bathroom. He didn’t like leaving Bucky’s side and that was _before_ he was in heat.

God, it had been amazing to spend Bucky’s heat with him though, to be able to look after his omega, and he’d never spent a rut with anyone else. It had been overwhelming. Bucky had been incredibly sexy, not that he wasn’t always, but the alpha side of Steve loved how uninhibited he’d been, how he’d given himself over to his alpha, trusting him. Steve had never come so much in his life and he doubted Bucky had either.

He smiled to himself as he glanced over to where Bucky was getting dressed. They’d just taken a bath together to clean up and were finally going to head downstairs, now they were both feeling up to it. Bucky looked so cute, his hair damp and messy, and so soft and cosy in navy sweatpants and Steve’s sweater again and there, right on his neck, was their bond bite, that seemed to be healing well already, leaving a beautiful mark. Just looking at it made Steve’s heart lurch in his chest. He wondered if he’d ever look at Bucky’s neck, or indeed, Bucky himself, and not be amazed.

“What are you smiling about?” Bucky asked, glancing at him with a little quirk of his lips.

“Nothing,” Steve replied, smiling wider, as he approached Bucky and then grabbed him and swung him round, lifting him off his feet, Bucky letting out a little yip.

Bucky laughed as Steve set him down again. “You know, I remember when you stood so still in my doorway, with that blank face on, and now look at you. Who’d have thought you were such an adorable lovesick puppy?” he grinned.

Steve kissed him on the forehead, full of adoration. “You can tease me however you want, I’ll still be smiling,” he promised. “And believe me, I was just as lovesick back then.”

Bucky let out a happy breath, trailing his fingers up over Steve’s cheekbones and over his ears, gazing at Steve’s own bond bite on his neck. “You had one hell of a poker face.”

“Well I had to. I thought this was impossible,” Steve reminded him, very lightly stroking his fingers over Bucky’s bite. He remembered how hard it had been, having to stand there and pretend not to care, not to be jealous, not to want to scoop Bucky up in his arms and run away with him.

Bucky shivered under the touch. “You gotta stop that,” he whined, the touch clearly turning him on a little. Steve could both see it and feel it through their bond. He knew eventually the feelings through the bond would settle and not be so strong, but right now they were in full force.

“We gotta go downstairs,” Bucky continued. “Prove to the others that we’re still alive.”

Steve huffed in amusement. At one point, he did remember that Clint had knocked on the door, sounding worried about them, and wouldn’t leave until they both yelled at him, clearly wanting to make sure both of them were okay. The others _were_ probably a little worried about them by this point. Steve moved his hand away. “Okay, you win,” he gave in.

He took Bucky’s hand instead and they finally left the room, heading downstairs to the living room that they hadn’t seen for over a week. As they got closer, he realised he could hear raised voices. He frowned, worried about what they were talking about and if there was something wrong, until they got there and found Wanda, Thor and Clint all playing Monopoly and arguing about it.

The commotion cut off as they noticed Steve and Bucky there.

“Well, well, well, look who it is,” Clint smirked at them, eyes dancing with amusement, as he looked at them.

“Ah, I told you they were alright!” Thor boomed, slamming his hand down on the table. “Just too busy getting busy, am I right?” He wiggled his eyebrows at them. “After all, it’s a soul-bond and a heat! No wonder you were up there so long.”

Bucky made an embarrassed noise and pressed his face into Steve’s arm as Steve tried not to chuckle and attempted a glare at Thor for embarrassing Bucky.

“Oh my gosh, you did it!” Wanda suddenly exclaimed, clearly having noticed where Bucky’s hair had fallen away from his neck to show his bond mark and then seemed to notice Steve’s as well.

“Aw, you guys,” Clint looked between them, actually looking a little choked up.

“Didn’t I tell you it would all work out,” Thor grinned at them all. “Soulmates can’t be torn apart for long.”

“We’re really happy for you,” Clint added.

Bucky smiled softly up at Steve, still looking a little shy at the attention.

“Thank you,” Steve spoke up, happily basking in his friends’ reactions to their bonding as he gazed at Bucky with wonder. “And thank you for the food,” he added, managing to tear his eyes away to look over at his friends again.

“No problem. Are you hungry now?” Wanda asked. “We’ve got some leftovers from lunch.”

Steve looked to Bucky, who shook his head. It was around four in the afternoon, they could wait until dinner.

“We’re safe now, right?” Bucky suddenly spoke up, looking at Clint.

Clint looked surprised by the change of topic but nodded and then sighed. “Shield might be able to take omega rights back decades overnight and have no one say anything, but believe me, if they tried bond breaking, the whole world would be up in arms. They won’t do that.”

Steve did believe that even though he could tell Bucky was still a little worried. He wondered if Bucky would want to go back home soon. He must have been missing it, but Steve couldn’t help feeling like he wanted to stay here longer. It was so peaceful here.

“I thought you were heading back?” he asked Clint, suddenly realising Clint had planned to go home a few days ago.

Clint shrugged a shoulder as he started sorting his Monopoly money. “I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye and making sure you were both okay.”

Steve’s heart felt warm. He and Clint had become good friends while at Shield, but Steve had always figured it was a relationship that ended when work ended. But the past few weeks had shown how wrong he was and how Clint was a true friend, that he was so, so lucky to have. “Thank you,” he told him sincerely. “For everything you’ve done for me and Bucky.”

Clint smirked. “You mean causing the whole mess in the first place?” he chuckled.

“It worked out,” Bucky said softly. “Was worth it.” He looked up at Steve, and Steve felt pure love coming through the bond, making him almost breathless at the intensity.

Steve pulled him in for a hug. He couldn’t seem to stop touching Bucky.

“So we only just started, do you guys wanna join in?” Wanda offered, watching them with a little amusement in her eyes.

Steve looked at Bucky to check, to find his beautiful omega smiling happily and nodding. It sounded like just the sort of thing they needed as they recovered from the last amazing but exhausting week.

Steve pulled up a chair, letting out an over the top ‘oof’ noise as Bucky plonked himself on his lap, apparently feeling the same way as Steve was about touching. Steve rolled his eyes at him anyway, while Bucky looked at him smugly, and Steve locked his arms around Bucky’s waist.

“Ugh, you guys are making me feel very single,” Clint complained.

“Sorry,” Bucky grinned at Steve, not sounding sorry at all.

Steve couldn’t really be sorry about that either as Bucky decided they were going to play together as their own little team and Steve tried to not get emotional at the realisation that he finally had his own little team, his own family, again. It was him and Bucky together and it always would be that way. After everything they’d been through, things had finally worked out.

They played Monopoly together for the next few hours.

Thor won.

Bucky blamed Steve for distracting him.

Steve couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it. He liked being a distraction too much.

****

Bucky was unhappy. He was unhappy, but he wouldn’t tell Steve why. Steve could feel it and he could see it, when Bucky wasn’t trying to pretend, but he didn’t know why.

At first he thought maybe he was missing their friends. Clint had gone home a week and a half ago. Then Thor five days ago. And then finally Wanda, three days ago. So it was just them at the beach house now, and Steve had suggested, on the day Wanda left, that they return home in a few days. He wanted Bucky to be able to get back to his life.

If he was honest with himself, Steve didn’t really want to go. He sometimes imagined what it would be like if they just stayed where they were. He’d already fallen in love with the house and the ocean and the little town nearby. And it wasn’t like he had a job to go back to. But Bucky did. Bucky had the bakery and his family home and he loved it there, plus he had Nat and he was missing her. Steve didn’t want to keep him from that. So he smiled about it and talked about what they could do when they got back, about how he and Nat were sort of friends now and he hoped Bucky didn’t mind that, and how maybe Steve would look for a job in security somewhere. Clint had offered to be a reference for him. And Shield couldn’t arrest him, having no evidence that he had anything to do with Bucky’s rescue.

But Bucky didn’t seem all that happy, and just nodded with a strained smile. Steve hated that he was unhappy and hated that Bucky just said he was fine when Steve asked. And Steve found himself too scared to push it.

It came to a head that evening when Steve was absentmindedly sketching on a notepad and Bucky was sitting with his feet in Steve’s lap, reading a book. Steve watched him for a few moments and realised his eyes weren’t moving. He was just staring at the page.

Steve felt his heart clench and he put his notepad and pencil down on the arm of the couch. “Do you miss them?” he asked, turning his head to face Bucky.

Bucky blinked and looked over at him. “Wanda and the others? Yeah, sometimes.”

Steve took a breath. “Is that why you’re so sad?” he asked directly, finally forcing the conversation.

“I’m not—” Bucky started to protest.

“Buck,” Steve cut him off, “I can feel it. I know you’re not happy.” He stroked his hand over Bucky’s feet, focusing on his sock-covered toes for a moment. “I don’t want to push, but I’m starting to worry that I did something. And I can’t stand to see you sad.” He paused for a moment, trying to gather himself to voice his biggest fear. “Do you regret it?” he finally asked in a tiny voice. “Being with me? I know it was fast—” he started sputtering.

Bucky moved across to him instantly. “God, Stevie, no. Fuck, how could you even think that.” His eyes looked almost devastated as he made Steve meet them. He grasped Steve’s face in his hands and his thumbs swept over Steve’s cheekbones.

“I…you won’t tell me what’s wrong, I didn’t know if—”

Bucky shook his head fiercely. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever, ever done,” he promised, voice firm and sure. Then he released Steve’s face and dropped back against the couch cushions with a sigh. “I…” He took another breath. “I don’t want to go back home,” he suddenly rushed out, taking a sideways glance at Steve as if awaiting his reaction and expecting it to be bad.

“You don’t?” Steve was surprised. Of everything Bucky could have been thinking, Steve didn’t think it was that.

Bucky gave a meek little apologetic headshake. “I know you do, so we can go back, of course we can, but I just…I like it here. It’s gonna be hard to say goodbye to this place.” He looked around the room a little.

Steve was silent for a moment, processing, before he let out a relieved laugh.

Bucky frowned at him. “Don’t laugh at me,” he scowled, pretty face scrunching up.

Steve shook his head, still laughing a little. “No, Buck, I’m not, I promise. I just... _I_ didn’t want to leave either, but I wanted to do what you wanted and I thought that meant going back.”

Bucky paused a moment, frown still on his face. “Wait…you don’t?”

“No,” Steve chuckled, surprised relief running through him. He pulled Bucky into a hug, which ended up with Bucky basically in his lap.

Bucky pulled back to look at his face. “You really want to stay?”

Steve nodded, looking into Bucky’s confused eyes. “Are you sure you do? What about the bakery and Nat?”

Bucky fiddled with Steve’s shirt collar for a moment. “I…I do love the bakery and I love Nat, but I just…for so long that town has been sort of haunted for me. I mean, I live in my family home, a place that constantly reminds me that they aren’t there and they aren’t coming back.” He paused, swallowing around the lump in his throat, and Steve felt pure sadness come over him, and he squeezed Bucky’s waist a little tighter where his hands had settled. “And I know you and Clint think Shield won’t care about us anymore or at least won’t do anything, but I still don’t want to be around them. I don’t trust them,” he added fiercely. “And Nat…we’ll still talk and she could visit. She’s my best friend and I love her to death, but she’s always so busy anyway, it wouldn’t be all that much different really. And I know I’ve been doing a lot better, but I still don’t really want to go back to the bakery,” he admitted.

Steve felt himself frown in sadness and anger at that. He tried to control himself, because he didn’t want to upset Bucky, but the fact that that scumbag alpha had taken that from Bucky…it infuriated Steve.

“It just sort of feels like going backwards if we go home. But it feels like a fresh start here. Like I can let go of the bad memories and just focus on us and making happy new ones. I…is that okay?” he asked, looking a little hesitant.

Steve leant in and kissed him softly. “It’s more than okay. I love it here too.”

A little smile started to take over Bucky’s face. “I actually…I asked Thor before he left, like hypothetically, and he was basically happy for us to live here. I think he liked the idea of someone looking after the place.”

Steve nodded, smiling now, feeling that Bucky’s sadness had gone away. “We can call him to make sure, just in case?” he suggested.

Bucky nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, that sounds good.” His whole face was lit up now, excitement coming through the bond. “So we’re staying?”

Steve nodded, so pleased. “We’re staying.”

Bucky responded by kissing him fiercely, happiness glowing off of him.

Steve’s spine tingled as he kissed him, before he finally got the strength to pull away, wanting to discuss the details. “Maybe we can find a bakery nearby that you could work for?” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, and then a thoughtful look came over his face. “Hey, have you ever had an interest in management?” he asked with a tilt of his head.

Steve smiled curiously and shrugged. It depended what sort of management, he supposed. To be honest, the only thing he ever really loved was art.

“Maybe...no, this is probably crazy,” Bucky babbled, as though talking to himself, “but maybe, I was thinking, what if we opened our own place?” he suggested, eyes bright and excited as he stared into Steve’s eyes. “I could bake and you could run everything? I have money left by my parents.” He looked a little sad when he mentioned them but then the bright look returned.

Steve was stunned by the idea, but the more he thought about it, the more it sounded amazing. Working for themselves, Steve getting to see Bucky in his element every day, knowing how happy it would make him...

“I love it,” he declared with a proud smile.

“Are you sure?” Bucky hesitated. “We don’t have to just because I want to. I don’t want you stuck doing a job you hate.”

Steve pressed his finger to Bucky’s lips. “I want to. It sounds perfect.”

Bucky broke into a wide smile as Steve removed his finger. “Yeah?” His excitement was palpable. “I mean, I know it’ll probably fail and we’ll go bankrupt or something, but you never know, right? I mean, look at us,” he beamed. “For so long I thought this was never going to happen and now we’re here and we’re freaking bonded soulmates and just, you know, sometimes the universe does let things work out, and I—”

Steve cut off his delightful excited jabbering with a kiss. Bucky melted into it, letting out a little moan as Steve delved into his mouth with his tongue, Bucky wrapping his arms round Steve’s neck. Steve would never, ever tire of Bucky’s kisses.

“Alpha…” Bucky breathed out between kisses.

Steve groaned. Bucky only ever called him that when he was teasing him, or when he wanted them in a situation where they were both naked. He loved both ways honestly, but the second way definitely set something alight in his brain, taking their kisses from happy to lustful in an instant.

“What is it, my sweet omega?” he murmured in Bucky’s ear before nibbling on the lobe. Bucky always, always reacted to Steve calling him that, almost despite himself. The bedroom was probably the only place they were happy to fall into their stereotypical designation roles, though the other day Bucky had taken charge a little. Steve had loved it a lot when he did that.

“Bed,” Bucky ordered breathlessly, already readying himself, locking his arms round Steve’s neck.

“As you wish,” Steve smirked against Bucky’s cheek, before lifting him up, Bucky’s legs wrapping round him like it was muscle memory. Which it probably was by this point.

“You killed my father. Prepare to die!” Bucky yelled out, collapsing into a giggle.

Steve pulled back to look at him, rolling his eyes, to find Bucky looking very pleased with himself. He squeezed Bucky’s ass. “Completely ruining the mood,” he grumbled. “You are the worst omega in the whole world, I swear to god,” he joked, smiling lovingly at the perfect man in his arms.

“And proud!” Bucky beamed.

Steve sighed exaggeratedly and started heading for the stairs. “Love is many things, none of them logical.”

Bucky laughed half the way up the stairs before the delightful noise abruptly cut off.

“Wait. Am I Princess Buttercup in this situation?”

_Epilogue_

Steve had always known Bucky Barnes was an incredible man. From the very first moment he saw him, he’d been stunned—first by his beauty, then by his kindness and sweetness. Then he’d learnt how intelligent he was, and what an innocent and warm soul he had, even after all the things he’d been through.

So, yes, Steve already knew that his mate was the most incredible man. But that didn’t stop pride from welling up in him as he watched his omega bravely taking the stage.

Steve had once suggested that they forget it all. They were living in the beach house, courtesy of Thor, and they’d started to make a new life together. Nat had sent them both things from their houses and the beach house was starting to feel like home. Steve had thought maybe it was better for Bucky that they leave the past behind. But Bucky didn’t want to do that. He couldn’t.

As Clint’s omega rights group started taking shape and getting more traction, Bucky was adamant that he wanted to help in any way he could, and Steve had been blown away by his bravery as he helped Clint and his group by writing about what had happened to him.

He'd kept it anonymous and Clint used it on leaflets and on their website. Steve had become their official graphic designer somehow and had helped design their leaflets and banners and signs. He loved that he and Bucky were both in this together and he knew Bucky did too. They helped in any way they could, until one day Clint asked how Bucky would feel about speaking at a rally. He felt that having people see Bucky and connect with him would help hammer home their message and maybe force people in government to sit up and take notice.

Steve had been so worried. He still was as he stood near the front, a little off to the side, and watched Bucky take the stage at that moment. Because Bucky had bravely agreed. He was going to stand in front of people and tell them his story. He was going to put himself out there for the world to see.

Bucky Barnes was incredible.

“Hi, everyone,” Bucky started, leaning into the mic, before grimacing at the loudness of his voice. Clint gave him an encouraging pat on the back from where he stood next to him. He was wearing one of Steve’s sweaters, post Steve wearing it, and Steve had rubbed his wrists over Bucky’s neck, scent marking him, Bucky saying Steve’s scent helped keep him calm. And he looked purely beautiful, hair pulled back away from his face in a half bun, eyes shining bright.

There was quite the crowd. More than Clint had expected when he’d told them about pulling the event together. It looked to Steve to be in the range of three or four hundred people, maybe more, and they were all quieting down to listen to his soulmate. Steve was beaming with pride even through his worry. He hoped Bucky could feel it even though their bond had settled and they didn’t feel each other’s emotions quite as strongly anymore.

“My name is James and I’m an omega,” Bucky continued. There were a few whoops among the crowd and Bucky chuckled a little. “Thanks,” he said, with an amused huff. “I’m not gonna take up too much of your time, but I wanted to be here to tell you about my experience.” He paused and took a breath. “Shield have been slowly stripping us of our rights. Some things have been noticeable, like the banning of suppressants for omegas.”

A few people let out some boos from the crowd.

Bucky gave a pained smile. “I agree,” he nodded in the direction of the noise. “Other things have been more insidious or have affected individuals. I’m one of those individuals.” He stood up a little straighter, seeming to find his footing now. “Shield decided that because I was of breeding age that I needed to find an alpha. They call it their matching program.”

Steve watched some of the crowd nod their heads. They’d heard of it.

Bucky continued, telling them about his experience with the process. Steve watched the faces of the crowd, glad they were being respectful, as their attention went from bright and riled up to something different, something sadder and appalled. There were many shocked faces when Bucky got to the part about his alpha being sterile.

Bucky had discussed it with him first, of course, and at first he was scared and wasn’t sure if he wanted that out there, but then he realised, maybe it would be good for others to hear that—maybe some other alpha out there was struggling with the same thing. Steve had always carried it around as a shameful secret, but then he got so, so lucky and had the love and understanding of his perfect omega, but there were probably alphas out there who weren’t that lucky. So while Bucky wasn’t naming him, he was sure people would see them together later, and he kept his head up, remaining unashamed, even if his heart did beat a little faster.

“I know some of you, maybe even most of you, will find that shocking, that I would still want to be with my alpha,” Bucky stated as looked at the crowd. “Maybe you agree with Shield. They told me I didn’t know what I wanted, that I had been manipulated, as though my alpha had tricked me, as though I didn’t have the capacity to think for myself. They ignored everything I said, telling me I was too emotional to think straight. I imagine many of the omegas in the crowd have been told that themselves before.”

Steve saw many heads nodding at that and some sympathetic looks now. He could tell the crowd was mostly betas and omegas, though there were more alphas there than they’d expected.

“If you haven’t experienced that—having someone tell you what you want as though they know better—maybe you won’t understand entirely how infuriating it is. How it takes your autonomy away. How it lessens you somehow, to be seen as a designation and not a person, and only a stereotype of that designation at that. We omegas are often seen as the weakest designation. We’re seen as the ones alphas can have control over, almost a prize for them. The government certainly seems to want it that way.” Bucky paused and took a breath. “My experience with Shield was that they saw me as something to breed and nothing more.”

A few people in the crowd made appalled, angry noises.

Bucky smiled softly. “You know, I can even understand that. The snap has them worried about population numbers and they want to do what’s right for their country. I can see why they think this way.”

Steve watched the crowd, noticing some of them looked a little shocked by Bucky’s words.

“But this isn’t the way to go about it,” Bucky continued. He paused and took another breath. “Shield planned to have another alpha force a bond on me, rape me, force me to bear his pups,” he said, words strong, voice unwavering, though Steve could see how difficult it was for him to say.

A noise of disgust rippled through the crowd. Steve still felt his blood boil as Bucky told them all what Shield had tried to do.

“And the funny thing was, the alpha they had for me wasn’t even the worst alpha I’d met. He truly thought he was doing what was right. He thought he knew what was better for me than I did myself. Because that’s how many alphas have been brought up—to believe that omegas are flighty creatures, that we need alphas to make our decisions, that we can’t possibly know our own minds. That we need the steady hand of an alpha to guide us.”

Bucky paused and stared defiantly over the crowd. “But I’m here to say, _we are steady_. I know better than anyone what I want. No one else.”

He let out a sad huff, and Steve could see him steeling himself for what he was about to say.

“I have never wanted pups,” Bucky admitted, to a noise of shock going through the crowd. “I know that’s something maybe you’ve never heard from an omega. To some that makes me defective, broken, or going against my nature. Not a real omega. And maybe I am different,” Bucky continued. “Maybe I’m the minority, maybe most omegas do want pups, but this is who I am. I’m happy with who I am,” he said boldly, waiting for the crowd to quiet down a little from his revelation.

“I can tell you now, Shield will try to make forced bonding a normal thing again, like it used to be. I have no doubt about that.” Bucky looked disgusted. “I want you to imagine being forced to be with someone that you don’t want. Being _owned_ by them. Forced to do whatever they want. Having no control over your own life. It happened for centuries because omegas were seen as the weaker designation. Shield wants to take us back there.”

Bucky stopped again for a moment and looked out over the crowd. “I don’t want that to happen. It is a disgrace to those who fought for our rights, to make us equals, though we still have a long way to go. I refuse to allow Shield to act as though their fight meant nothing.” Some of the crowd clapped at that, making Bucky pause and smile softly, waiting for them to finish before continuing. “I’m one of the lucky ones,” he told them, with a sad little smile. “I found my soulmate. We had a hard time of it, but we’re happy now. We’re moving forward. But there are omegas out there who might not be as lucky as me. Who might not have friends to rely on like I did. We have to do our best for them.”

Steve swallowed as he listened, overcome with emotion at how beautifully Bucky was speaking, so boldly and confidently.

“The snap decimated our world. We’ve all seen so much tragedy and loss, but we need to do our best to make things better. Moving backwards is not the way. There’s no progress in returning to the past. We have to make Shield understand that.” He looked out over the crowd, eyes defiant. “I won’t be giving up. I hope you won’t either.” Bucky let out a breath. “Thank you for listening. I’m gonna hand back over to our founder now.” He gathered up the note cards he’d had in his hand the whole time but hadn’t seemed to refer to once, as he backed away, looking over at Clint who stepped up, as the crowd broke into loud applause.

Bucky shyly nodded in response as some of the audience cheered him too, and then Clint gave him a hug before Bucky headed off the stage.

Steve was beaming with pride as he watched the audience. They were still clapping for him. Steve was still clapping for him so hard his hands hurt. He had been so worried about something going wrong, but Clint had got great security in place and Bucky had been amazing. Steve had no doubt that he’d got his point across. He didn’t see how Shield could ignore him.

“Hey,” the best voice in the world said as Steve turned to find Bucky behind him.

He gathered him into a hug instantly, the biggest smile on his face. “Hey, Buck,” he murmured, squeezing him tight as Bucky chuckled at him. He pulled back to look at him. “You were amazing.”

“Yeah?” Bucky smiled softly.

Steve could tell he was proud of himself but doing his Bucky thing and not making a big deal of it. “Yeah,” Steve affirmed. “The crowd was on your side, I could see them nodding along all the time. And you were so brave.”

Bucky took Steve’s hand. “You were too,” he smiled proudly. “And it was easier than I thought it would be. I was kinda nervous at first, but then I didn’t even need my notes, you know? It just sort of flowed.”

Steve smiled, so pleased Bucky was happy with how it went. “I know. I could tell.”

“Hey,” a voice interrupted them, and Steve turned to see a young woman, an omega, looking at Bucky. “You were really great up there.”

Bucky looked pleased but surprised at the praise. “Thank you,” he smiled, squeezing Steve’s hand a little.

Steve squeezed back reassuringly.

“It was important to see such a strong omega up there,” she continued.

Bucky looked even more surprised by that. “I, uh, thanks.”

Steve grinned at the woman. He knew Bucky didn’t necessarily see himself that way always, so he was glad that others had recognised it in him. Bucky was the strongest person he knew.

“I actually run a kind of online magazine, all about omega issues. I’m going to include an article about today’s event, is it okay if I quote some of your speech?” she continued.

“Um, sure,” Bucky perked up a little. “That’s really great that you do that.”

The woman grinned back. “Every little thing we can do helps, right?” she shrugged. “I don’t suppose I could get a picture of you to go with the article?”

Bucky looked surprised but nodded. “Sure.”

Steve smiled and stepped away to allow the woman to take it when she stopped him.

“Oh no, I meant both of you if that’s alright? I think it would be really great to have a picture of you both, you know, showing you found your happy ending?” she grinned as she lifted her camera.

Bucky looked over at Steve with a soft little smile, reaching out his hand, so Steve stepped back in. “Only if you’re sure?” Bucky muttered quietly as Steve wrapped an arm round his waist.

“I’d be honoured, Buck,” he murmured back, before smiling for the camera, as Bucky rolled his eyes and then wrapped his arm round Steve as well.

The woman took a couple of pictures before thanking them. “It was great to meet you both.”

“You too, um…” Bucky paused.

“Shuri,” she filled in, holding out her hand to shake Bucky’s and then Steve’s. “Here’s my card with the website address. Maybe we can stay in touch?”

Bucky nodded, looking down at the card. “Definitely. Thank you,” he told her with a genuine smile, before Shuri left them to it with a wave.

“You’re an inspiration,” Steve told him proudly once they were relatively alone again. The rally was still going on, of course, but Steve was only focused on Bucky.

Bucky blushed and shoved his shoulder. “Shut up, I am not.”

Steve pulled him closer, nuzzling into his neck. Bucky still wore scent blocker when they were out in public, but he could smell himself on him and he pressed little kisses against Bucky’s soft skin, over his bond mark. “Yes, you are. My strong omega, up there for everyone to see how incredible and brave he is.”

“Alpha,” Bucky whined incredibly softly, hand gripping Steve’s shoulder.

Steve chuckled against his neck. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I love you,” Bucky replied softly.

Steve pulled back so he could kiss Bucky softly on the lips. “I love you too.”

Bucky smiled against his lips, returning the kiss. “I know you do,” Bucky replied with a sweet smile as he pulled back. “Let’s go home.”

****

Bucky smiled to himself as he scrubbed at the floor behind the counter. He’d already done it the day before, but he wanted everything spotless for the grand opening.

He couldn’t believe the day was finally almost here. After months and months of hard work, he was finally opening his own bakery with Steve. It wasn’t quite the restaurant he’d dreamed of as a teenager with Tony, but it was somehow even better. He hoped that wherever Tony was, that he was proud of him. He hoped his parents were too.

Somehow, Bucky wasn’t even that worried about failing. It was a distinct possibility, of course. So many bakeries and restaurants failed in the first year of business, but Bucky felt that even if that happened to them, at least they’d tried. It would suck, but it would be better to fail than not try at all. But he was going to do his very best not to fail. He was going to work his ass off to make this place a success and he knew Steve would too. They’d already started.

Steve was currently out putting flyers through doors and giving them to other businesses on their street. When the location on Main Street had opened up, they’d leapt on it. And while the beach town they lived in wasn’t huge, there was definitely a viable market for a new bakery and they’d been doing everything they could to promote it. They’d already given flyers out two weeks back, but a reminder flyer the day before seemed important, so people remembered and showed up.

They were both hugely nervous for tomorrow, but excited too, especially because their friends were coming to town to celebrate the opening with them and would be arriving that evening for a little celebratory dinner party. Bucky couldn’t wait to see Wanda and Thor again, and Clint and Nat were coming too. He’d been a little worried Nat would be mad at him for opening his own place, but she was nothing but supportive, even giving up her time to help teach Steve about the business and how she ran her bakery, and Steve seemed to be really enjoying it. He also got to use his illustration and design skills, creating the signage and menus and labels and logo and basically everything to do with the bakery and Bucky thought it looked gorgeous. He was so proud of Steve.

The whole place looked gorgeous in fact. They’d gone for lots of wood with bronze accents, making the whole place seem warm and inviting, and they’d managed to fit in six tables so customers could eat in if they wanted. Steve had learnt to use the coffee maker and they’d hired one part-time staff member to start with, which seemed reasonable for now. Peter seemed a little excitable, but he seemed like he would work hard, plus he was putting himself through college and Bucky liked that about him. And hopefully they’d be super busy and successful and would have to hire more staff.

The ding of the front door opening, hitting the little bell Bucky had hung up, pulled him from his thoughts. Steve had bet him that the noise would get so annoying, Bucky would remove it within a week. Bucky hated to admit he was probably right, as its loudness startled him.

“Hi, sorry, we’re not open until tomorrow,” he called out, putting down the scrubbing brush and yanking at the gloves on his hands. “You can take a flyer to get a discount tomorr—” The word died in his mouth as he stood up to see his visitor.

“Nice place.”

Bucky stared frozen at the man in the long, black leather coat.

Fury reached out and took a flyer from the counter, examining it. “Very impressive,” he commented with a little eyebrow raise.

Bucky had hoped, had assumed, that he would never have to see Nicholas Fury again. He wished he wasn’t terrified as he stood there looking at him but he was. His blood went cold.

“You can’t do anything to me,” Bucky told him, finally speaking. “I’m bonded. There’s nothing you can do.” He wished his voice wasn’t so shaky. He had never quite believed that was true. Clint and Steve seemed to think it was, but Bucky had never thought there wasn’t a line that Shield wouldn’t cross if they really wanted to, not really. Not if they were desperate.

“I heard,” Fury said, nodding towards his neck. “I guess congratulations are in order. Let me tell you, Murdock was not pleased, to say the least, to see that picture of you and Rogers,” he said with an amused huff.

 _Good_ , Bucky thought. Shuri had posted the article about him and the rally, along with the picture she took of him and Steve where you could see both their bond marks and their happiness, plain as day. It had occurred to him that Shield might see it. Hadn’t really occurred to him about Matt. He never thought about him anymore.

“How did you find me?” he asked, glancing behind him where he’d left the emergency exit open, seeing as it was a sunny day and he wanted the bakery to air out. The fact that he had felt safe enough to do that showed how far he’d come, how he felt like he’d finally been able to leave the past behind. He apparently shouldn’t have let himself think that way. At least it looked like there was no one there, unless they were hiding round the corner. He’d risk it and run that way if he had to.

“I have my ways,” Fury replied cryptically. “Look, I didn’t come here to try and scare you,” he sighed, apparently noticing how Bucky was inching backwards a little.

“No?” Bucky questioned. “Then why are you here?” Steve was supposed to be back soon. Maybe he could keep Fury talking until that happened. He could only imagine how screwed Fury would be then—Steve would be enraged.

Fury looked down at the floor and then back up at him. “I’m here to apologise.”

Bucky scrunched up his face in amusement. “I’m sorry, what?” He must have misheard. No way did those words just come out of Fury’s mouth.

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for all Shield, and I, put you through,” Fury told him, face looking deadly serious.

Bucky laughed in disbelief. “Did you get hit on the head or something?”

Fury didn’t scowl at him like he expected. Instead he actually chuckled. “Maybe that would have been faster,” he commented. “I saw your speech. Must have watched that video ten times.” He shook his head slowly. “I know it sounds stupid, but until I heard what you said, really heard it…I don’t think I’d ever really listened to an omega before.”

Bucky huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I know how that sounds, but it’s like you said…I was raised to think a certain way. I went straight into Shield as my first job and my mentor, Pierce, he never taught me any different. He solidified those thoughts if anything. I never looked at it from your side of things.”

“But you are now?” Bucky asked, in disbelief. There was no way it was that easy. Bigoted people didn’t just change their minds.

Fury fixed him with an almost smile. “You’d be surprised by how many people you convinced with that speech. You put yourself out there. Told everyone your darkest secrets and did it in a way that made people take note. You made me take note.”

Bucky huffed again, incredulous. “Seriously?”

Fury sighed like he expected the mistrust. “I also…my partner and I, we’re having a pup. Been through years of IVF and finally it happened. And we’re having an omega girl,” he told Bucky. “She’s not even here yet but I started thinking…what if someone treated her the way I treated you?” He shook his head with a sigh. “It made me disgusted with myself.”

Bucky frowned at him. “It shouldn’t take that for you to know how you acted was wrong. You shouldn’t have to have a personal connection to something before you can understand what’s right and wrong.”

Fury nodded and tilted his head. “You’re damn right about that,” he agreed. “Look, I don’t work for Shield anymore. Took me a while to see just how wrong Pierce’s ideas are, how wrong mine were.” He shook his head again. “I know an apology doesn’t mean much, if anything, but I wanted you to know, I am truly sorry for how I treated you. But you also need to know, Shield and Pierce, unless someone overthrows them, it’s only gonna get worst. You omegas have a long road ahead.”

Bucky had never thought differently. Change for the better never seemed to happen overnight—only change for the worse.

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. I’m sorry for what happened. I’d never want my pup girl to experience something like that. I’m going to do everything in my power to protect her.”

“Good,” Bucky agreed with a huff. “You damn well better.” He hoped Fury’s little girl would have a good life and wouldn’t be raised on backwards values and traditions.

Fury smiled sadly at that and then nodded. “Shield aren’t coming after you,” he told Bucky. “You’re officially a closed case. Nothing they could do if they did anyway.” He turned to go.

Bucky felt relief flood him. “It means something,” Bucky burst out before Fury left.

Fury turned back with a curious look.

“The apology,” Bucky clarified. “It does mean something.”

Fury nodded solemnly and gave a little smile at his surroundings. “I really hope the opening goes well, Mister Barnes.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said genuinely, seeing that Fury really meant it.

Fury tipped his head and then he was gone, back out the door with an annoying jingle.

Bucky stood there, a little bit in disbelief that what just happened had happened. He truly did hope for the sake of Fury’s pup that he meant it. He hoped Fury would be determined to help omega rights instead of tear them down like he had, because he knew Fury was someone who could get shit done. It would be good to have him on their side.

And he was a closed case. Bucky had felt safe lately, he truly had, but for a tiny nagging fear that Shield was still out there and if they wanted to find him they could. They weren’t hiding like they had at first. They were living their lives freely. So to hear that Shield didn’t care about him anymore…he finally felt pure relief. Like it was finally, truly over. Of course their fight wasn’t over, but that tiny bit of fear could be let go of now. He felt light and buoyant and just plain happy. He and Steve were safe.

A couple of minutes later, the door opened and Steve came in, Bucky still staring at it, lost in thought, until the jingle pulled him out of his own head. Seriously, that bell wasn’t going to last the day, let alone a week.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve grinned, shutting the door behind himself. “I think everyone in a twenty-block radius has a flyer,” he laughed. “You better have made enough food for everyone,” he smiled brightly as he came behind the counter and kissed Bucky on the cheek.

Bucky relaxed and let himself smile. “Guess what?”

“What?” Steve asked, as he snuggled into Bucky’s neck, scenting him.

Bucky felt a little thrill of arousal run through him. “You know what? Never mind. I’ll tell you later.”

“Aw, c’mon, tell me now,” Steve whined into his neck.

Bucky turned and captured Steve’s lips in a soft, lingering kiss. “I have better things to do right now,” he murmured.

“Oh yeah, like what?” Steve managed, kissing Bucky back fiercely with a moan.

“Like you,” Bucky grinned against Steve’s mouth, starting to tug on the button of his pants.

Steve groaned against him as he broke the kiss. “Pretty sure that’s a health code violation,” he choked out.

“Well it’s a good thing we aren’t open yet,” Bucky countered as he unzipped Steve’s fly.

“Yeah, good thing,” Steve panted back, hard and straining against his pants and groaning as Bucky rubbed over them.

“Plus, it’s like a good luck thing, christening the place if you will,” Bucky added, enjoying the feel of Steve hard against his hand.

“Well, if it’s for good luck, then I suppose we have to,” Steve murmured with a little lick over Bucky’s bond mark, making him shiver.

“Yep, don’t really have a choice,” Bucky said with amusement, as Steve pulled back to smirk at him.

“Such a bad little omega,” Steve grinned, eyes full of lust and want, Bucky feeling it through the bond too as Steve started tugging at his shirt.

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ bad little omega,” Bucky grinned, sliding his hand into Steve’s boxers to wrap around his hot, hard cock.

Steve groaned, eyes rolling back. “Oh god, yes you are. Mine,” he choked out the word.

“Mmm, my alpha,” Bucky moaned as Steve teased at his nipples.

“Yours,” Steve agreed fervently as Bucky stroked him.

Bucky’s heart and body lit up in pleasure as they somehow found their way down to the perfectly clean floor behind the counter. There was nothing better than having Steve touch him, even now. The bond was singing, Steve entwining their fingers as their lips met again, and Bucky forgot about the rest of the world, lost in happiness, as Steve’s scent—the scent of home and love and real, unending happiness—washed over him, Bucky losing himself to bliss.

Until the phone rang, interrupting them.

Steve groaned as Bucky whined but reached for it on the counter, forcing himself to get up on his knees as Steve wrapped around his back, clearly wanting to tug him back down.

Bucky managed to grab the phone and it took all his strength of will to not moan into it as Steve sucked down on his neck.

He did giggle slightly though as he tried to push Steve away so he could answer their first phone call, Steve not making it easy for him, as Bucky spoke a little breathlessly into the phone.

“Hi there, Soul-bond Bakery, how can I help?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellsbells27 said they thought this was more Princess Bride than Romeo and Juliet (so I rewatched Princess Bride again cause I hadn't seen it since I was a kid) so I had to reference that cause they were right! 😂
> 
> Anyway, I so hope you enjoyed the end, and thank you so much for reading! The response to this has been amazing, truly, I'm awed. I don't know how I'm supposed to write anything else now cause I doubt I'll ever get this reaction again! Your comments and kudos mean the world to me, thank you for your kind comments and your thoughts and theories and feelings. Ya'll are so nice to me, it's really amazing. 
> 
> As always, you can find me on [tumblr at deadto27](https://deadto27.tumblr.com). I think I'm going to be taking a break from writing for a bit, or at least posting it, but feel free to let me know what sort of thing you want to see when I come back.
> 
> Anyway, I would love to see your comments, especially if you've been here on every chapter writing me lovely stuff, and also if you've never commented, I'd love your final thoughts.
> 
> Thanks, massive love 💜


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